Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize and I own everything you don't recognize.

"None so deaf as those that will not hear,
None so blind as those that will not see."
-Matthew Henry

Chapter 36: Right in Front of Your Nose

Lily swiftly ran up the staircases into the library to meet James, although she had not planned to meet with him today, she knew where he was since he had informed her last night that he would be studying all day for the NEWTS. It had surprised her that he had started studying for the exam already; apparently he was not as ego-driven as she had once believed. Even since his parents' death, James had become more obsessed with continuing in his father's footsteps in becoming an auror. Lily found it quite cute that James was acting responsible and actually planning his life rather than seeing where the wind took him. Lily loved this new part of James she was discovering, but she also greatly envied him. Although Lily had applied to auror school, since all of her teachers told her she would be a prime candidate for it, but she was not sure she wanted that life. It was not war that was going on that bothered her or the thought that she may die in battle; it was the simple knowledge that at almost 18 years old she had to figure out what she was going to do with the rest of her life.

This feeling of uncertainty was something new in Lily's life. For all of her life she had always had everything planned out, but now, during her greatest need for organization all her ideas had vanished. If she got into auror school, she believed she would go in. If anything it was a way of procrastinating; for as long as she was in school Lily had more time to find out what she wanted to do with her life. In her mind she wanted to do everything. She wanted to teach, since she had always had a calling for working with little children, yet part of Lily always wanted to be a healer and help those in grave danger (to get into healer school was another application she was waiting to hear back from), and then again their was the option of being an auror. After a talk with McGonagall, she had told Lily that the world was at her fingertips, in other words because of Lily's grades it was possible for her to do pretty much what ever she wanted. Lily sometimes wished she only had one option, because with everything in the world to choose from she could not decide on one profession.

Maybe there was another purpose to Lily's life, something so great that no amount of school would ever prepare her for? Lily was not sure if she wanted such an unpredictable life, but yet maybe that type of excitement was something she truly wanted. Maybe it was almost a thirst she hungered for. Could that be why she was going out with James? Was it the idea that he was a guy she would never have considered dating and loving a few years ago? Lily had spent her whole life planning everything out, yet now that she was acting more spontaneous and doing some things she would never do and she was so much happier.

Upon entering the library and finding James and Cora sitting at a table together, Lily thought to herself that she would see what life had in store for her. She would let life show her a sign in what she was meant to do with her life; she would let her destiny come to her and simply live for the day no matter what came her way.

"Hey James, Cora," Lily said, sitting next to the two. It was while she was sitting that she remembered she had promised Cora that they would study together, "Oh Cora, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot about us getting together."

"It's okay," Cora said, waving Lily's distress off with her hand, "I found James in here and he helped me with Transfiguration. So the study session was not a complete waste."

Cora smiled as Lily said her next words, "I'm so so sorry."

"It's really okay Lily," Cora said, getting her books together, "Look I have to run anyway. We can just study tomorrow or something. And you can make it up to me by getting dinner tonight at the kitchens."

"Deal," Lily said with a smile, "See ya later Cora."

"Bye buddy," Cora said with a smile as she left the library. Cora really did not have anywhere to go, but she figured Lily and James did not want her hanging around when they were together. Even though neither of them would ever say it, she knew that is what they secretly longer for in their hearts.

"Oh I feel so bad," Lily said, putting her elbows on the table and running her hands against her face.

"She doesn't seem to be bothered by it too much Lils," James said, pulling Lily's hands off of her face. "I wouldn't worry about it," he said moving in and catching Lily in a short but meaningful kiss.

"I hope you're right," Lily said with a slight smile, "That girl drives me up the wall sometimes. I mean I love her dearly, but sometimes I just can't figure her out."

"You are stressing over this too much," James said, reaching over and allowing his finger to play with a strand of her long auburn hair. "Cora is one of your best friends, she will understand. Besides," he said taking his hand away from Lily's hair and then crossing his arms against his chest and leaning on the back to legs of the chair, "she has probably forgotten everything that has happened by now."

Lily thought about James's words for a second and then responding realizing the little importance of her stress, "You're right," she said with a smile, "Cora is sensible, I don't know why I even worry about that girl."

"That's my girl," James said with a short and low chuckle, as he went back to sitting on the four legs of the chair. "So what's up?"

"Nothing," Lily said, avoiding James's gaze and looking away from him. After staring at the wall next to her for a little bit, she turned around to see James starring at her with a look in his eye that told her that he knew she was lying.

"Alright," Lily said, throwing her hands up in defeat, "There is something I wanted to ask you."

"What is it?" James asked with a little concern in his voice. Lily was never one to be afraid to ask him anything, well at least since they had seen close.

Lily and James close, the idea seemed far from possible a year ago, but now it felt like they would never be apart. Ever since James saw her during their first year on the Hogwarts express, he thought she was gorgeous; even at eleven when his mind was far from the idea of dating. As time went on, and dating became a more important issue in James's life, he tried everyway he knew to try to get her attention. Sometimes he would try a little too hard and she would get mad and yell at him, but still in his mind as long as she was acknowledging him it was better than being ignored. He continued this behavior, behaving in pompous and immature ways, since he figured, like most girls, they would eventually give into his charm and the bad boy persona but Lily was different. She did not care how many people he hexed or how many detentions he got, she only cared about who he or any other boy was on the inside. Not that Lily did not enjoy the occasional hexing when it was deserved, for she had a few up her sleeve if the time ever came to use them, she simply did not see it as a way to impress someone. It took James until his sixth year to figure that out.

It was during this year that James decided to take some action because he realized that he really did love Lily. It was not the kind of love that Lily believed it was, an obsession that only grew as she kept ignoring his pleas, he really did have feelings for her and he wanted to show her this. James started with the basics, as it is the only thing a person can do when two people are not in a relationship, but it was not enough. Lily was not fooled by his kindness to her, for she had told him that year that in order to be kind you must show it to everyone. And that is what James did over the summer before his seventh and last year of Hogwarts. It was his last chance to show Lily what she really meant to him.

That moment seemed so long ago now, for as he sat and watched as Lily struggled to ask her question, he felt more love for her then he ever thought he could feel. He sometimes hated what she did to him, for if she tried she could probably get him to get anything for her, but he knew even though she had this power she never welded it. That alone made her a great person, she had great power but never felt the need to use it and he greatly respected her for that.

Lily spoke slowly, taking James out of his thoughts, "Well, I was wondering what you were planning to do the weekend after we graduate?"

James looked at his girlfriend a little strangely, for the question was not what he had expected, "Not sure. Hanging out with you and the guys, since, baring we get into it, we start auror training that Wednesday. Why?"

"Never mind then," Lily said, not wanting to bother him with the request she kept in her mind.

"Just tell me," James said, almost pleading with her, "If it is this big of a deal I would like to know anyway."

Lily just looked at him and caught his hazel eyes in a stare. She took in a breath before she spoke, she should have known he would have made her tell him even if he was busy or did not want to go.

"Well," Lily signed before she spoke again, "My sister is moving into a new house that weekend and she is celebrating with having everyone over for brunch. Plus my mom figured while everyone is there she should have a little graduation party for me. My mom said I could bring someone with me, and I was just wondering if you wanted to come?"

Lily looked at her hands in her lap as she waited for James's response, which came quicker than she expected, "Of course."

Lily felt a smile come to her lips that reached her eyes as he said these words, "Really? Because you don't have to if you don't want to."

"No, I want to go. Besides I would love to meet more of your family, and see more of your parents." He said with a smile.

"Thank you James. I mean, I really don't get along with Petunia. We are just completely different people forced to be sisters, but she is still my sister and I love her so I want to go. Plus my mother hates it when the two of us fight. Sometimes I think she is the only one keeping us from destroying each other." Lily said with a slight laugh at the end of her statement.

"Understandable. And, you forgot, that since I will be there I can distract you if things get crazy."

Lily smacked the side of his arm.

"What, it is true!" James said, rubbing his arm and pretending it hurt.

"Oh you're such a baby," Lily said with a smile, "But I love you anyway," she continued before giving him a kiss.

The two sat in the library for a few minutes until Lily said they should leave, since they were already creating a ruckus for talking in the library as long as they were.

"But I have to ask you," James said once they were out of the library doors, "Why were you so nervous to ask me if I wanted to go?"

Lily laughed to herself before she spoke, "I don't know, I guess I just figured after the last visit you would be sick of my father and his questions."

"Nah," James said, taking her hand in his, "They weren't that bad before, and they can't be worse with lots of people around."

"Once again," Lily said with a laugh as they walked back to the Gryffindor common room, "you underestimate my father."

A few minutes earlier….

"Hey Cora," Remus said, as he saw Lily's friend leave the library at the same time as him.

"Hey…Remus," Cora said, feeling a little off guard at who was talking to her. Remus may have been the nicest marauder, but he does not really talk to people besides the three boys and Lily.

"How are you?"

"Fine, you?"

"Besides studying like crazy, I'm doing pretty good."

The two then fell into silence as they walked back to the Gryffindor common room together. Cora was not sure what to say to Remus, but she felt that she was not the one who wanted to talk for why else would Remus run up to her as she was leaving the library. Cora looked at him for a second, only to find him looking at her as well. Cora smiled at Remus to try to flag off the awkwardness, but still the silence spoke uncomfortable words into both of the party's ears.

Remus finally broke the silence about half way to the dormitory, "So what were you doing studying in the library all by yourself, where were Lily and Kyra?"

Cora looked at him strangely wondering whether he meant to ask her an odd question or if it was just a way to create conversation, "Well I was supposed to study with Lily, but I am not sure what happened with that, but then I saw James and he helped me with Transfiguration since I am horrible at the subject. And Kyra, well I am not sure where that girl is, she is always running around with some guy."

Cora was going to ask him why he was in the library, but she felt it would be inappropriate. Of course, after she had answered his question and did not ask another in return, the uncomfortable silence came back and she felt then that not saying anything was even more inappropriate.

"Why are you so worried about that class, you are better than most people?" Remus said, not sounding offended by Cora not asking him a question.

"Well I have to get high marks on the Transfiguration and Defense. I know the written part really well, but where I am applying to cares more about the practical part of the exam than the written."

"Where are you applying?"

Cora took in a breathe before she spoke again, half in shock that she was telling a marauder what she was doing after Hogwarts before Lily and Kyra knew. "Do you remember when we were learning about complex dueling?"

"You mean do I remember when you sent Median flying across the room?" Remus said with a little bit of humor in his voice, "Then yes I do remember."

"Well," Cora said, shaking off his first comment, "She said I had the talent to be a complex dueler, so I am going to school for two years, I think, to this school in France."

"You are a complex dueler? Congratulations, your parents must be so excited."

Cora looked at him with a heavy heart but quickly sent it away with a smile, "Well my parents died last year, but I'm pretty proud, no matter how shocked I was to hear it was me and not anyone else."

"I'm sorry about your parents," Remus said, as he stopped walking and Cora in response to his action stopped as well.

"Thanks, but we're getting into a war now. I may have been one of the first to lose their parents in the war, but now it is becoming more common." Cora said sadly.

"That is true, but that still doesn't mean you can't be upset about it. The war is destroying families everywhere. People are dying every day. That's why I want to be an auror, if I can get into the training program."

"I don't think that will be a problem for you," Cora said, leaning against the railing of the staircase, "You are one of the brightest people in this school. You could give a few of the professors a run for their money, I wouldn't worry about it."

"Well grades aren't the problem," Remus said, not wanting to go into detail about how being a werewolf may keep him from being accepted into the intense training program.

Cora looked at him strangely for a minute and then understood what he meant, "I doubt they will keep you out because of that."

"What?" Remus asked, a little shocked by her statement.

"Look Remus, don't think any less of me," like he probably could at his point Cora thought after she spoke, "I know about," she looked about to see if anyone was listening, "your monthly problem."

"What?," Remus said, stepping back from her and leaned against the railing across of Cora.

Thoughts raced through Remus's head. Did she know his secret? Did she tell people? Remus did not think Cora was one to go around spreading rumors about people, especially the way Lily talked about how trustworthy she was with everything she was told. Yet still Remus' heart started to beat at a faster rate until she spoke again.

"I know," Cora said, moving in close to his ear and whispering, "that you're a werewolf."

Remus went pale at her words, it seemed more people were learning his secret this year and every time they did it made him feel sick. If word got out that he was a werewolf, people would start to resent him for it. He was lucky enough to have found friends that cared about him even though he had this condition. The rest of the world would not be so accepting and Remus was trying to ready himself for the fight to live an honest life. He knew it would be a struggle to get a decent job and for people to trust him in general. He did not know if he was strong enough to face the fury of others, but he would have to face it whether he was ready for it or not. Yet Remus did not except to have people know his secret until he was out of Hogwarts, with the population of Hogwarts slowly getting to know his secret (even though it was only Lily and Cora) he felt more uncomfortable walking in the halls of the school.

Trying to get back to his senses, Remus spoke, "How did you find out?"

"Well a little while ago Lily was trying to figure out what was wrong with you. She kept noticing you disappearing and stuff. She kept records of when you got sick and I used to just listen to her trying to figure it all out. She only discussed it with me, so don't worry, no one else knows. Then one day she stopped talking about it, so I continued trying to figure it out and one day it just clicked. It was the only logical answer."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Why would I do that? This isn't something you want out in the open," Cora said with a slight smile.

Remus was going to say thanks when the staircase suddenly moved sending Cora crashing into Remus. She immediately got off on him once the stairs stopped moving, but she did feel her face get a little red from the contact.

"Sorry," Cora said, not looking at him.

"It's okay," Remus said, "Let's head back shall we?"

"Yeah," Cora said as the two walked back in silence.

Once the two arrived at the common room entrance Remus said the password and the two walked to the break in the room that separated the stairways from the girls and boys dorm.

"Well it was good talking to you," Remus said to her, "and thanks for not saying anything."

"Yeah, of course" Cora said, still thinking about the irony of her current situation, "It was nice to bump into you."

"Maybe we will bump into each other again," Remus said with a smile, "See you later," and then left her at the base of her stairs.

Cora watched as he climbed the stairs to his room and once he was out of sight, she ran upstairs to her room. She could not make sense of it, why had he started talking to her. But if there was one thing she learned about Remus, it was that he was the strongest person she knew. She was jealous that he was worse off then anyone else she knew and yet he was optimistic for the future. She was jealous of him, and this only made her feel worse about herself. She was not as strong as he was and she had not been through half the things he had been. With her weakness and jealously in mind, she went to her bed and dealt with the pain of hatred toward herself the only way she knew how.

A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait; I promise I have not given up on this story yet! I have just been really busy with school since it is coming close to the end of the semester and everything is due all at once. School is crazy as is life, so this story just never got around to be written. But things are beginning to cool down so I should have the next story up in about three weeks or so, but if not don't kill me please. College is not treating me nicely these days. Oh and sorry this chapter sucks…I don't think it is that good. Maybe next time it will be better…I think some Lily and Remus stuff is in order as well as some girl and guys times.

Oh and just to let you all know, this chapter was done a dew days ago but fanfiction would not let me upload the document. It was weird. But now it is working so it is okay:)

Thanks for all that reviewed, I got lots this time and that makes me smile and write more. I swear, without you guys I would have given up on this story a long time ago.

Quidditchstar2291: My parents used to go crazy for me being on the computer all the time. But I am glad you like my story and boy you read a lot in one sitting.

glowing-ice: Sirius and Lily eventually needed to get along, I mean since he was the Potters secret keeper (or at least supposed to be) Lily had to trust him too, because we all know if Lily didn't want something she did something about it J

Aria Sparks: Peter is often forgotten, sadly, and I am guilty of that rule as well. I will include him soon though, I have to in order to make the story fit. But I am bad writer for forgetting him…

fanficangel513: Sirius is an interesting character…he is complex and does things for some strange reason no one really gets…at least that is what I see with him.

Jackie: yes some parts are pretty cheesy, especially in the beginning when I was just starting out. I think me later chapters are much better though.

ThomCat: Thanks, it always makes me feel good about myself when someone tells me I am a good writer

Leah: a deviant art fan! I have not been on that site for a while, it seems I have been ignoring everything lately! I am bad with grammar, especially now since I focus on grammar so much with my college papers I don't pay attention here as much…I am horrible in that aspect. I'm glad you liked my little predictions…they were fun to write!

Quidditchstar2291: she will ask him about that eventually as will she find out more about all of the maunders past…but not just yet.

Thanks again you guys!