Halcyon

PART III

Chapter 13

The next week goes by quickly, Jasper takes me out hunting quite a lot to keep my thirst under control. The animal blood isn't that bad, it doesn't satisfy me completely, but it does nourish me and I do feel better after I've hunted.

I don't sleep every night because I don't really need to, I only sleep when I'm tired which isn't that often. I'm confused, because Lacrimosa said that "the storm hasn't passed" but all of my dreams have been about Jasper. Nothing bad seems to be in the future, the near future at least. I guess I should just enjoy it. In the past week, I've also started recognizing the different sounds of things. I have to ask Jasper, which does get a little embarrassing, but hey, at least I can hear.

It's incredibly hard being around Bella. I accidentally breathed in her scent. I didn't mean to, but she caught me off guard and I and inhaled by accident. I immediately ran out of the room and outside, trying to not get a big whiff of her scent. The little bit I got though, I liked. It smelled so delicious and caused my throat to burn for a while after, that Jasper had to take me hunting to calm my lust. It's hard to control yourself when you smell it. It's like something possesses you and you're not in control anymore. The only thing you want, the only thing you can think of, is blood. The sweet scent entices you and draws you in, just like a drug.

Carlisle has said that I should probably just act like I'm still deaf around Charlie. My appearance has changed enough, he might get suspicious if I can miraculously hear. Alice has gotten me many pairs of colored contacts that matched my eye color before, but gives a violet effect because of the crimson in it. They also irritate my eyes for a while till you get used to them. The human lessons continued, I have gotten my speed better, walking normally, I've also "mastered" not breathing, but looking like I am. I'm ready to go home. I think.

"If you feel uncomfortable, just call me or run back here. I'll be in your room, later." Jasper tells me and I nod, understanding. He dips his head down and places his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. I pull away, nuzzling my face into his chest for a couple of seconds before walking over to Edward's Volvo with Edward and Bella in it. I stop breathing as I slide in, hoping the trip goes by fast. Edward is driving us because he ,is going to tell Charlie that he and Bella are getting married. I wonder how that is going to go. Edward pulls away from the Cullen house while I hold my bag from the fight on my lap. Halfway through the ride, I bring it to my face, only smelling my clothes. It's okay, you're almost home. Yeah, and then I have to be careful around Charlie. I just hope that he doesn't question me that much on my clear appearance change.

Edward finally pulls up to the house and I smile at the sight of it, actually happy to see it. I immediately get out of the car, taking a deep breath while I can. I enjoy the scent of the forest and outside, before I see Charlie walk out of the house. Alright, act deaf.

"Hey, Lils." dad greets and I hold my breath as I walk up to the house, slinging my bag over my shoulder. My dad's voice. Not now, just act deaf. I smile at my dad and he frowns as he gets closer to me. "You look different." he says and I just smile shrugging.

"Alice." I tell him, trying to not breath and he nods, studying me. It's hard to not breathe while talking. You're doing good, Lils. I keep encouraging myself, trying to focus.

"Are you okay, Lils?" Don't breathe. I nod quickly.

"Tired." I tell him as I feel Bella and Edward approach behind me. Please, help me. I think, hoping Edward gets it.

"Hey, Bells...Edward." he greets and I take this as my cue to leave, walking upstairs and into my room. I turn on my light and close my eyes. You did good. You did good. Calm down, Lil." I take deep breaths, only smelling my room. The familiar scent of my room, only its stronger now. I smile and take off clothes that Alice bought me, putting on pair of grey sweatpants and a white tank top. I walk over to my mirror and look at myself, seeing my violet tinted eyes. I grimace and take out the contacts, sighing at the relief. I try to listen to the conversation downstairs between Charlie, Bella, and Edward, but I can't hear that much of it. Carlisle has noticed that my hearing is that of a normal human now, it's not as sharp as a pure vampire. That's fine, I'm just glad that I can hear. I place my ear to the door, curious to what they're saying.

"Dad, we have something to tell you." Bella starts.

"I knew it...you're pregnant." I can hear dad say and my eyes widen. Why does he jump to that?

"What? No! I'm not...Dad, no." Bella sputters, caught off guard. I can basically see dad now, shamelessly sighing in relief in front of Edward.

"Okay, you're not pregnant." Dad says and then I heard Edward's light voice.

"Chief Swan, I know that it is custom to ask for the father's permission, but I couldn't wait. I asked for Bella's hand in marriage and she agreed." Edward, always formal, tells my dad and I wait for his reaction. I don't hear anything for a couple of minutes, the thought of someone he doesn't like marrying his daughter is probably processing in his brain.

"I should have seen this coming." I hear Charlie says and I raise my eyebrows. Better reaction than what I was expecting. "You're telling your mother." he says and I actually chuckle a bit. He definitely reacted good, I can hear Bella and Edward's laughter downstairs. I sit up off the ground and walk over to my laptop, opening it up. I send a quick email to mom, telling her that I miss her, Jasper is great, and all about the trip Alice took us on. I close my laptop and grab a book off my desk. I open my window to let some fresh air in, I also notice that it calms the lust. Laying down on my bed, I open the book and relax.

I hear the front door close, signaling Edward leaving. I'm not tired, so I open my window and get out, sitting on the small roof outside my window. I never liked to come out here in fear of falling off, but not that I'm practically invincible, I don't care. I lay back and place my hands behind my head, looking up towards the stars, or lack of. The sky was utterly black and cold, just like my mood. I wish I could fast forward time. Get through all of this blood lust stuff. I wonder what it's like for Carlisle, he's around blood every single day as a doctor, but it doesn't bother him. How? Is there some secret that he's not sharing?

I suddenly feel something land on the small roof next to me. Opening my eyes, I'm met with a pair of golden orbs looking down at me.

"What are you doing out here?" he asks and I shrug.

"Taking precautions." I tell him as he visibly sighs, leaning down to help lift me up. We both slip inside my room and lay down on my bed. I bury my head in Jasper's neck as I lay with him, surrounding myself with the familiar musky scent of his. I greedily and shamelessly take big inhales of it, savoring it. It was good when I was a human, but it's like a thousand times more potent as a vampire.

"I don't know how you do it." I admit and I feel him incline his head to look at me.

"Do what, darlin?" he asks.

"Be around humans. I'm too scared to even breathe near them, scared I'm gonna lose control. I can't imagine how Carlisle does it every day at the hospital." I say and Jasper chuckles a bit.

"He'll tell you 'years of practice.'" he says and I gently laugh.

"I'm just scared because I don't want to lose control. I don't want to hurt Bella, or my dad, or anybody. I don't want I to be a monster." I say and realize that it was a mistake. "I don't mean that you-"

"Darlin, I know what you meant. That's why we all hunt animals. We don't want hurt anybody." Jasper says and I nod, burying my face into his neck more. "Are you happy?"

I smile at this question. "Extremely. I've never felt more alive." I tell honestly. "Are you happy?"

"Words cannot express how happy you make me, Lily." Jasper says and I lean forward, placing my lips to his neck.

Yeah, I'm extremely happy as part-vampire. The blood lust is just something that I'll have to work through. It may take years, but I'll get through it. No matter what, I'm too determined. I will get to the point like Carlisle where I am able to be around blood, but it won't bother me. I will.

Jasper and I stay in each other's arms all night and when the sun rises, I sit up and walk over to my closet. I'm going over the Cullens today to help Alice plan for the wedding. That little pixie is over the moon with planning and I figure that I'll help her for Bella's sake to tone down anything too "Alice." This maid of honor thing is going to be tough. August 13. That's the date for their wedding. It's June 25. Me and Alice have a lot of work to do.

I grab a long, quarter length sleeve, blue henley, jeans, and my brown ankle boots out of my closet. Jasper comes up behind me, hands on my waist. "I'll be back in a little bit." he says, moving my hair and placing a kiss on my neck. I shiver at the contact and close my eyes, enjoying the fluttering in my heart pick up speed. I turn around and see that he's already gone, compelling me to catch my breath. Damn you, Jasper. I say in my head and smile, taking off my pajamas and changing into my clothes. I grab my small, cosmetic mirror and bring it over to my desk, sitting down. I grab a new pack of contacts from Alice and pop both of them in my eyes, blinking a couple of times as a burning sensation appears. My vision finally clears up and I stand up from the table. I grab my phone off the table as I hear a knock at my front door. I walk downstairs and hold my breath, seeing that the cruiser is gone from the driveway. He probably went fishing because of the news he found out last night.

I open the front door and walk outside with Jasper, right over to his Jeep. I slide in the passenger side as he gets in the driver side, turning to me. "Alice bouncing off the wall. She's excited to start planning." Jasper tells me and I sigh.

"Oh, boy." I say and I see him chuckle, grabbing my hand and placing a kiss on it. Alice and I start planning the wedding. Alice is going a little overboard and I have to tame her for Bella's sake, but I know that it's going to absolutely beautiful. Alice already ordered the invitations already and I'll send them out when they get delivered. She has already ordered the flowers, hired a reverend, got a dress for herself, that pixie is a machine. Rosalie has been helping, too. I've found that Rosalie and I have formed an...interesting bond. I guess you could say that we're friends.

At home, I feel extremely guilty that I have to basically avoid my sister, talking to her only through Alice when we're putting everything together. I hope that she understands that I'm doing this for her safety, but I can see her hurt face every time she comes home and I leave the room. I suspect that Charlie thinks I'm mad at her, but that's definitely not the case. Dinners are the worst. Sitting there not breathing while trying to eat and keep up appearances, not fun. I've found that I can eat food, but it's like eating your least favorite vegetable. Except fruit, I've found that I still love fruit. I usually just make up some short excuse for not coming down (wedding, tired, sick, not hungry.) This is harder than I ever thought it would be and I'm getting sick of it. I want these newborn months gone.

I also feel lonely, I miss my sister and dad, but I have to stay away from them. It just sucks. Jasper drops me off at home after another day of planning with Alice. I have the box of invitations in my lap and I have to go to the post office tomorrow. Mom has been emailing me like crazy, wanting to know all the details, but I keep it as vague as possible. Charlie greets me as I enter but I just give him a nod, walking up the stairs and into my room. A little while later, I hear a car pull out of the driveway and I, tentatively, walk downstairs, seeing that he left. I inhale deeply, relishing the air filling my lungs.

Now, I'm sitting in the living room, enjoying the empty house. Bella is out on a "date" with Edward and I find some peace as I'm sitting by myself in the quiet house, reading. I feel that I need to hunt soon, probably tomorrow with Jasper. I want to hunt more so I can get used to it, and to help calm the lust. I'm being extremely careful of not breathing near Bella or Charlie, barely leaving my room if they are home or I'm out with Jasper. I fear for their safety if I was to ever lose control. I can't lose control. Edward is constantly around Bella when I'm home, making sure I won't suddenly attack her. I feel like he's cold towards me now, always on high alert, but I understand. He's just caring for Bella safety living in a house with a newborn vampire.

We have a little over a month left till the wedding and we still have to find Bella a dress and shoes, I have to find a dress, but I might just ask Rose for help with that. We also have to find a band. Hard - yes, impossible - I'm pretty sure Alice can make anything possible. I've noticed how close the short pixie and Riley have gotten. They seem to really care about each other and the other Cullens have forgiven him, but he's not completely out of the woods. It's pretty hard to switch him from human blood to animal blood, but he hasn't had a slip up yet.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump, being pulled from my thoughts. I feel myself inhale deeply through my nose, a sweet, mouth-watering scent entering my nose and I can't help but inhale as deep as I can. I turn around and see Bella standing there, looking confused. I feel the fear of dread as my throat burns painfully. I want to scream as the venom stings, practically commanding me to sink my teeth into my sister's neck and drink her blood, drain her dry, just taste that sweet, delicious blood...

No. I try to command my vampire side. I cannot do this. I know how I want to live and I never want to feed on a human. I will never taste human blood. I don't care what the lust tells me to do.

"Get away from me." I grit out, fighting the lust. I'm holding back as much as I can. I have to get out of here. I look to my sister, her eyes widening. Stop breathing, Lily! Calm down.

"Lily, what-" Bella starts but I immediately speed out of the house, running outside to the woods, needing to get away from her.

Her scent was so enticing. Her blood would probably be so delicious. Maybe the best thing I've ever-

No! Stop thinking about that! I keep running through the woods, no particular direction in mine, I just need to put as much distance as I can from Bella. I need to get away from her, I just hope that she makes up a good excuse for Charlie. I keep running and running, the wind carrying a scent to me. What is that foul smell?

A picture is trying to enter my brain and I close my eyes, seeing a wolf. It's one of the wolves from the reservation. The one with silver-colored fur. Paul. His wolf form walks out of the trees to my left, snarling at me.

I open my eyes and look to my left, and a couple of moments later, I hear a low growl. The wolf emerges and my heart drops. I'm on their land and I just broke the treaty. Oh my God. I hold my hands up as Paul is snarling at me, his dark eyes burning with anger.

"Paul, wait." I say but the he doesn't listen, he bears his teeth, showing how sharp they are. I can feel my agitation growing, but I try to push it down. No, don't get angry. "Paul, I'm sorry that I'm on your land. I didn't mean to." I tell him but the wolf gets into a crouch. I involuntarily growl, an automatic instinct that I can't control. No, diffuse the situation "Paul, please listen!" I yell out but suddenly, the giant wolf is leaping towards me. My instincts immediately take over and I bare my teeth, growling low in my throat as I'm jumping at him to defend myself.

Hey guys!

How did you like it? I only have one more chapter until we're done with Eclipse and then we start the beginning of the end. Breaking Dawn! Are you guys excited?

To everyone who reviewed, added Halcyon to your favorites, and added Halcyon to your story alerts, thank you so much. I really appreciate it and I'm happy that you are liking my story.

Pictures, playlist, and wiki link is on my profile.

Thank You!

-Jalen-