I hope this is up to my normal standards. This is Bella's point of view and I'm always scared I don't do her justice.
Don't kill me after reading this.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer; Story belongs to me!
I was barely awake for a few moments when Edward stood up from his chair and walked towards me and kissed me gingerly on the lips. Even his cold lips didn't soothe the bruises and forming scars on my face. He ran his hand very lightly across the bruise on my cheek and I winced. They were deep and I felt even the slightest touch by Edward. He pulled away from me and looked at me with a fallen smile.
"Bella, Sam and Carlisle are coming here." He informed me. I didn't know why he was being so cautious about it. I had nothing against Sam; against any of the pack besides him. I nodded to tell him to continue because I knew he wasn't done talking.
"Are you okay with them coming to talk to you about, well, everything?" he asked almost shyly and avoided my eyes as he took my hand in his and focused on the circles he rubbed into the back of it.
"I've talked about it before, Edward." I reminded him almost heatedly. He looked up to me with pleading eyes and I instantly felt guilty.
"I know, but this time it's different, Bella. It's not just you and me this time. You'll be talking to Sam and Sam is going to be the one to carry out his execution. It's different." Something reflected in his eyes and I knew he wasn't telling me something, but I decided not to push him. I wasn't in the mood for a debate; my body was still too weak. I nodded.
"I'll be okay as long as you don't leave." I said quickly trying to get him to relax. His stiff body was only making me anxious which amplified the pain.
"I'm not going anywhere, Bella." He said quietly and bent down again to kiss my forehead, but his body only became more rigid. I smiled and closed my eyes and the room grew silent as Edward stood beside the bed holding my warm hand in his cold one. I focused on my breathing, trying to convince myself to relax and that Edward was just being the over protective lover I married.
I was finally breathing deeply and focusing on keeping my heart at a nice pace until a loud crash caused my eyes to open quickly and for me to sit up much too rapidly. I screamed out as the pain caught up to me and Edward rushed to help me lie back down. My heart rate was too quick and my breathing was rushed. I was moaning in pain as I forced my eyes open to see what the noise was. Sam stood anxiously by the door to the hospital hallway along with Jared, Paul and Leah. Sam's eyes filled with apologies and I tried to quiet my moaning, but as I worked to control my breathing, the pain only increased.
"Carlisle," Edward said as he stared down at me uneasily. "She needs something to dull the pain!" Carlisle walked briskly to my bedside and placed a needle into the IV in my arm and the pain began to fade to a dull pain rather than a throb. My eyes fluttered open as I took a deep breath for the first time with out feeling the need to scream out. Edward's cold hand wrapped around mine and he looked me square in the eye and smiled weakly. I tried to smile at him, but it turned as somber as his. I couldn't look into his sad eyes any longer so I turned my attention to the scared looking Sam.
"Hi, Sam..." I said softly. His bowed head shot up and looked at me defensively. I smiled with every ounce of honesty in me and was surprised that it didn't turn up to be a grimace. He smiled sadly and walked closer to my bed.
"H-hello, Bella...How are you?" He asked almost noiselessly. I laughed lightly as he made his way to the foot of the bed.
"Just a little sore.." I said sarcastically. His face fell even more.
"I-I'm so sorry, Bella..." Sam whispered. I shook my head.
"Don't be sorry, this isn't your fault..." I tried to convince him.
"There's no one else to blame, is there?" He countered. I shook my head in disagreement.
"That's not true. We can blame him. He's the one that did this to me, not you.." I said genuinely. If anyone was to blame for this, besides Jacob, it was me. I wouldn't dare let Sam take the fall. Sam just shook his head, refusing to say more. He was too stubborn to agree with me, but he had no other explanations. The room grew quiet before Sam spoke up again.
"Bella, I-I need to talk to you..." He began before Edward cut him off. I glared at Edward. I wanted to hear what he had to say.
"She doesn't need to know about that yet! She has enough to deal with!" He hissed. Sam backed up and Carlisle stepped forward and stared directly at Edward who had let go of my hand and had flown across the room near Carlisle and Sam. I had no idea what anyone was talking about. My head spun with questions. I hated when anyone did this with Edward. I knew by Carlisle's face what was going on. Carlisle was having a silent conversation with Edward.
"No, Carlisle! She doesn't need to know about it!" Edward shouted causing me to wince after the silence was broken. What don't I need to know? I felt weak.
"She deserves to know!" Sam broke in. Edward snarled in his direction. I agreed in my head. I deserved to know.
"Stay out of this!" He hissed at the pack. Sam stood taller and Carlisle hissed at Edward to stay calm.
The yelling and hissing made me more dizzy and I felt even weaker. I groaned in a desperate attempt to get someone's attention and I managed to get everyone's. Carlisle must have understood the nausea in my eyes. In record time he flew from one end of the room to the other and pulled a trash bin up to me just as I emptied my stomach into the can. Edward rushed over to my bed side and Carlisle handed me a cold towel to wipe my face. I smiled thankfully at him as Edward put his cold hand on my face releasing the tension. I smiled genuinely at Edward. I felt much better after all. He noticed and smiled more honestly than he had since we had been at the hospital.
"C-Carlisle?" Sam called, "Should we, uh, leave?" He asked slightly nauseated himself. I felt the blush crawl into my face.
"No, Sam, I'm sure she will be fine. That's just the medication I gave her earlier for the pain; the nausea is the only side effect. Bella, are you feeling better?" He asked as he turned towards me after writing something down on my chart.
"Much..." I croaked. Carlisle laughed at the dry voice and handed me a cup of ice water from my bedside table. I smiled gratefully and took a sip of the water. "Thanks." I said with more voice and he smiled. "Bella, would you be okay to talk to Sam now, or would you rather wait a while?" He asked fatherly. Edward still looked tense.
"Now is fine..." I said honestly. I knew he would just be asking about Jacob and what he had done to me. Why would Edward be protecting me from something so blatant? I shook my head to relieve the questions. Questions are what make me dizzy. Carlisle nodded and turned his attention to Edward.
"Edward, Bella has to be told this and Sam should be the one to tell her." Carlisle said calmly, however it was much more stern than when he addressed me. "You and I need to go discuss some matters in my office anyway, and we can leave Sam and Bella to talk about these matters that needed to be taken care of." My head still ached with questions that wouldn't go away. I looked up to Edward hoping he would explain something. He broke his gaze away from mine and turned to Carlisle pleadingly.
"Carlisle, I will gladly leave Bella," My breathing hitched and my stomach dropped not knowing if he was finished with that sentence. He couldn't leave. He promised. It felt as if my heart had stopped beating, waiting to see what he would say next. He looked at me and his eyes widened when he realized what he had said, "I will gladly leave after I have discussed all of this with her. I need to be the one that tells her this, Carlisle..." He looked away from me reluctantly to look at him, "Please..." He begged. Carlisle looked to Sam, who nodded. Carlisle stepped back into the larger portion of the room as did Sam. The rest of the pack remained behind Sam and Carlisle.
As my gaze focused on Sam, Edward turned his body and leaned over me slightly to attract my eyes to him. I smiled weakly as his solid topaz eyes stared at me seriously, yet lovingly. As much as I hated how serious this was, I needed to know what was going on. What was Edward keeping from me that had everyone so tense that they were willing to fight so seriously about?
"Bella-" Edward began, pulling me out of my thoughts, "Something happened that you need to be aware of..." He stated. I felt that uneasy feeling in my stomach again. Was there something I didn't know in this? What hadn't he told me? My stomach did the same flip it had done earlier. I took a large gulp of water trying to calm it down. I wanted to find out what was going on. I stared at Edward waiting for him to continue. Edward placed his hand on the one free from the water and gripped it tightly.
"Bella, when Emmett left to pick the pack up from the airport, Jasper took over his position in watching the place that we were storing Jacob..." My stomach dropped again; were storing past tense. "Well, Jacob took advantage of the situation by playing with Jasper's abilities. And from what Carlisle has informed me, he used his situation to, well, to attack him..." My breathing stopped. Even though Edward's voice had dropped to a whisper at the last piece of information, he might as well have screamed it.
"Where is he?" I asked breathlessly.
"Where is who?" Edward asked cautiously.
"Jasper!" I screamed. Why did he need to ask? Tears slipped down my face. I knew he was lying somewhere in pain because of me.
"He's at home, Bella. Alice and Esme are with him. Emmett and Rose are at home, too. He's better now. He's healing..." He said too slowly. My stomach flipped again.
"Who's guarding him?!" I shouted for answers.
"Bella, you need to calm down..." Carlisle pushed as he stepped forward from the dark corner of the room.
"WHO IS GUARDING JACOB?" I screamed louder.
"H-He got away, Bella... He attacked Jasper until he was almost dead and he got away..." Edward's voice was no longer that smooth velvety voice. It was full of worry and concern, but for who?
"Bella, you need to calm down." Carlisle repeated again as he neared the side of my bed slowly.
"H-he's still out there?" I asked quietly as I looked around the room to each face. They all nodded. "H-he's out there and he's waiting for me..." I confirmed. I heard someone promising that I was safe. The dread and fear filled me. I couldn't stay here.
"Bella..." Edward said warningly as I struggled to sit up. I pushed myself up, trying to ignore the pain. I reached for the IV in my arm, refusing to wrestle with the blanket again. I found the needle and before anyone knew what I was doing I ripped it out of my arm. There was no pain. I struggled to kick my legs off the bed before Carlisle's hands grabbed my shoulders to constrain me. I screamed out for them to let me go.
"I have to go! I need to get out of here!" I was screaming and sobbing and my body was shaking out of fear.
"Bella, please, stop this! You are safe here!" Edward's voice was pleading, but he didn't understand. Carlisle made no effort to put me back into a lying position. If he thought I would just lay down, he was wrong.
"Edward, please!" My voice was full of panic and I still struggled hopelessly against Carlisle's hands.
"Bella, lie down!" Carlisle instructed over my sobs. I shook my head as he finally began to push me down into a laying position. I could feel the pain bubbling inside of me. My body convulsed with pain and fear. I heard voices around me screaming and growling and sobbing.
All I understood was that the reason I was in so much pain, the reason I hadn't been able to breathe without looking over my shoulder, was loose again. He was out there and he was waiting to kill me or do this to me again. I had lived through two sadistic vampires, a newborn army, but I could not relive what he had done to me...
All I could do was sob and scream as the pain shrank from my arms and legs and stomach and head to my chest. My lungs were seizing. I could feel them shrinking. My throat was dry and chest was tight. I stretched my arms out looking for Edward.
"Edward..." I gasped out. The pain was too much this time. It wasn't like before. Now it's different. I'm not wishing for the end. I'm waiting. I felt Edward's cold hand on my face as he leaned closer to me and his face was inches from mine.
"Bella, please breathe. Bella don't do this..." His voice was so broken. His body shook with sobs. I just wanted the pain to stop. The tears running down my face only slowed when Edward's hands intercepted them wiping them away, clearing the way for more.
"Edward...I-I'm sorry... It hurts...I'm so sorry..." I whispered as he pressed his forehead to mine trying to keep me coherent. His body shook with sobs as he climbed onto the bed as he shook my body. I could feel myself slipping away.
"Bella...Please..." He begged.
"Edward...I-I...I love...I love you..." I whispered as I opened my heavy eyes. I reached out and touched my hand to his face. I brushed my hand against his cheek as the beeping on my monitor changed patterns erratically; Too Fast, Too Slow.
"Bella..." He grabbed my hand and pulled it from his face. "Don't say it like that, alright? Don't say it like that. You're okay. You just need to calm down. Please, Bella, calm down. You have to calm down." His voice repeated through my head. He was gasping and I could hear the panic in his voice as Carlisle shouted instructions at him that I'm sure he was ignoring.
"Tell me you love me..."I pleaded with him. My voice was weak. He shook his head. "Please..."
"Isabella Marie Masen Cullen, I love you. I love you now and I will love you for the end of time." His voice broke into a sob as it cracked. "I love you so much..." He whispered with his face pressed against mine as he kissed me in a desperate attempt to persuade me to stay awake.
"Tell Jasper I'm sorry...Tell everyone I'm sor-" I gasped in a choked whisper.
I took the deepest breath I could manage as I closed my eyes. They were too heavy to open again. I heard Edward shouting in the distance; he sounded so far away. It all sounded so far away. I knew he wouldn't try and save me. He would be too afraid. I loved him and he loved me. That's all that mattered. Who cared if I didn't last forever? As long as I died loving him. I smiled again at the sight of his beautiful, angelic face in my mind as I drifted off to a place with less pain. The pain slipped away and the voices dulled. It was finally over...
Don't kill me!
Is she dead? Will Edward change her? Will Carlisle? Will Sam try to stop them from changing her?
Mwhahahaha. Just some questions to ask yourself. :P
I truly am EVIL.
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