Announcer: Last time on Total Pokemon: All-Stars, the contestants had to show their stuff in a staged talent show, where they were GIVEN talents via a hat pull. While some contestants shined brighter, others well between the cracks. Demenio decided that blackmailing Hex would be a great start to his plan, and despite doing so, he STILL read his private information aloud, making everyone upset except for Dew, who already knew. He really is bad at this, isn't he? In the challenge, everyone was given a minute to show off and while most failed, a few succeeded and Flynn ended up winning immunity. At the end of the day, it seemed like Hex was going home, but Hex used the invincibility statue to save himself. This meant, bye bye Jason Bourne.
What will happen this time? Find out right now on Total...Pokemon...All-Stars!
000
*Intro plays*
000
Mew was back in the Hall of Origins. Because of Xerneas and Virizion both wanting a day off to be with Cobalion, he needed another co-host.
"Ugh…" Arceus groaned with a blush and slight panting while in Giratina's coils. "Why do you guys always have to interrupt us?"
"Why don't you two ever screw in your bedroom instead of in the open?" Mew retorted.
"Because you guys always barge in with your fucking needs and wants!" Giratina exclaimed. "So, we're doing it here…
"Ever heard of locking?" Mew asked rhetorically. "But anyways, I need a new co-host."
"What happened with-"
"They requested a day off to bone Cobalion…" Mew said stoically.
"And you're telling us that you can't run a challenge by yourself for one day?" asked Giratina asked.
Mew didn't respond, causing the two to groan.
"Fine…" Arceus groaned. "SOLGALEO!"
Mew groaned. "Come on, the new guy?!"
Suddenly, a large white lion with a yellow crest around its face and mane, a galaxy like face, and shoe-like paws appeared.
"What?" he asked with a deep, yet calm tone.
"We want you to help Mew with his show today. It'll be the first experience that you get with the legendaries' series…"
"Are Lunaala and Magearna coming, too?" he asked.
"No, you're the only one who we know isn't doing anything…" said Arceus. "Lunaala is trying to get Yveltal in the sack already, and Magearna is with Genesect…"
"You haven't really made any friends as of yet, though Entei already has a major crush on you…" Giratina added.
"Don't remind me…"
"So, this could be your chance to make a friend and get experience…"
Solgaleo sighed in hesitance. "I don't know. Like...how does it work?"
"Can I just get Darkrai or something?"
"Give him a chance" said Arceus. "He could be good…"
Mew sighed. "Fine…"
"I'll try my best…" Solgaleo said.
"Sure…" Mew replied. "This is gonna be a long day…"
000
Dew, Hex, and Lila were back at the gym.
"Dude why'd you scare us like that?!" Dew asked.
"Because I needed it to work…" Hex chuckled. "I already knew that it'd be half and half, so I made sure that I'd POSSIBLY get eliminated, so that I could use the statue on whoever was at the bottom."
"I'm glad that it wasn't one of us…" Lila giggled.
"Definitely…" said Hex. "It would've been hard to take one of you guys out…"
"Glad it didn't come to that…" Dew said with a smile before focusing in a glare. "Now, I think that after all of that, Demenio undeniably needs to be flushed next."
"I still say we get rid of Aldon first…" Lila stated.
"Lila, come on", said Dew. "Aldon is a threat, sure, but Demenio intentionally blackmailed and told everyone about Hex's past to try and get him eliminated!"
"Yeah…"
"So. Are you with us or are you gonna keep going for Aldon?" asked Dew.
Lila knew that doing either would be beneficial, but it'd be better to help her friend out…
"I'll help you guys with Demenio", said Lila. "Then you help me with Aldon…"
Dew and Hex both nodded. Outside, in the bushes, red eyes glowed as a sharp growl was heard. The eyes disappeared quickly as rustling and running was heard.
000
Demenio ran back to the infirmary, which was now functioning again with Audino and Chansey everywhere. He attempted to go in the back, but was stopped, making him growl.
"Do you have an injury?" a Chansey asked.
"No, but I really need to get down to the surgery area", he stated. "It's my planning area…"
"I don't know if I can allow that…"
"Why not?"
"Because we use that area for our own personal priorities…" it explained.
Demenio growled. "Are any of you down there now?"
"No, not that I know of…"
"Good…" Demenio said as he passed by her, only for her to stop him. This made him groan. "I just need to get a few things I left in there!"
"How do I know that you're not lying?"
"What is so damn sacred about that place!?"
"Like I said, it's personal for us nurses…" she said vaguely.
Demenio sighed in annoyance. "FINE! You can come with me and I'll show you.."
"Hmm...okay", said the Chansey.
"Thank Arceus…" he mumbled as he started walking with the Chansey to the surgery area.
-000-
They made it to the location they wanted, and Demenio saw that all of the folders were gone. He twitched before growling and turning to the Chansey with a glare before she smack his snout hard, sending him to the ground with a whimper.
"That...was for lying…"
Demenio whimpered while rubbing his now aching snout. He didn't even lie! The folders were still there the last time he left.
"I didn't fucking lie!" he exclaimed.
"Then what did you need to get?" she asked. "I don't see anything here."
"There were folders down here that I wanted to get!"
"Oh, well we put those back…" she said. "They were just all on the floor…AND they were taken from the filing cabinets…" she said, glaring at him as he smiled sheepishly.
"So, you were the one who stole them…"
"Well, technically they didn't leave this place, so...I think 'misplace' is a-" Demenio was cut off by another smack, making him growl. "LOOK BITCH! I NEED THOSE FILES SO THAT I CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M GONNA DO!"
"No, bad boy", she said, smacking him once again, this time sending him into the wall. "You can't get any files without consent from the hosts…"
Demenio was in a crater before falling forward out of it. "Fuck my life…."
000
Volante was looking in the lounge's bathroom mirror at his still black eye. He growled angrily and headbutted the mirror, only for it fix itself. He sighed. Shade and Ricky walked to the door of the bathroom.
"Hey", Ricky greeted, getting his attention as he walked in, followed by Shade. "You doin' okay?"
Volante sighed. "Yeah, I'm okay", he said perturbedly.
"It doesn't sound like it…"
Volante sighed, as he knew it, too. He was actually completely pissed that he let Razor get away with giving him a black eye just so he could be the 'mature' one. Sure, he made up an insulting poem about him first and heckled him, but that didn't mean he had to throw a pogo stick at his eye! At this point, trying to be mature and fair was out of his brain.
He just wanted Razor gone at any and all costs, then he'd be perfectly fine.
"Volante?" he heard as he snapped out of his thoughts.
"Huh? What?" he asked looking around before looking back at Ricky and Shade.
"Yeah, he's not okay…" Shade stated.
"Yes I am", Volante lied.
"Oh, so you weren't just thinking about tearing Razor limb from limb or, in a more general sense, getting him out of this game?"
Volante groaned in his head.
"So what if I was?" he asked.
"Well, considering that we're in an alliance and he's pretty much still a 'villain', we can help you out…"
"Wait...really?"
"Yeah, I mean...sure you made fun of him, but that didn't mean he had to give you a black eye with a pogo stick", said Ricky.
Volante smiled a bit. "Thanks...but...what about Demenio?"
"Eh, he failed, so it doesn't really matter…" said Shade.
"What?!" Ricky exclaimed. "You don't think that he's gonna try even harder?"
"Oh, I know he will, but I'm not worried", said Shade. "If he wants to try and get rid of others, I say let him."
"What?! How could you-"
"He's trying to be a big bad villain, but he's just gonna fail because he really knows that it isn't who he is…" Shade stated. "So, he can try all he wants. Plus, he isn't that much of a threat without 'minions'."
"But, he obviously has dirt on all of us because of what he told us about Hex's past!"
"Well...you're right about that, but I doubt anyone has any more actual horrible dirt on them…" said Shade.
"You don't know…" said Volante.
"If it's any one of the villains, we don't care…" said Shade.
"And how do we know that he's not working with them and focusing on us?"
"He's not working with anyone, and if he is, it's a ruse…" Shade explained. "I know him all too well…"
"So, you're fine with helping me off Razor knowing Demenio's nature at the moment?"
"Yeah…"
"Well...okay, I guess…" said Volante before suddenly flinching from his eye aching.
"Have you been to the infirmary yet?" asked Ricky.
"No….it's just a black eye. Not that big of a deal…" Volante explained. "Plus, I'm not getting probed again!"
Upon hearing that, Ricky blushed and his eyes widened. "Um...w-what do you mean by that?"
"Don't you dare…" Shade said playfully. "I'm sure your boyfriend would be pretty upset…"
Ricky scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Please. I just wanted to know what you meant!"
"Well, if you must know, those damn nurses started probing me for no real reason!"
"Lucky…" Ricky muttered to himself.
"Well, come downstairs, you have to put a steak on it or just something cold…" Shade said as he started exiting the bathroom, with Volante and Ricky following.
000
"Arceus DAMN IT!" Razor exclaimed. "We lost another member…"
"How the hell did he even get the statue?!" Krack exclaimed.
"The bastard's magic, of course he'd get it to save himself…" Flynn stated.
"That's bullshit!" Zayn growled.
"And now we have find that thing again!" Aldon exclaimed. "We're completely screwed now if we don't!"
"Ugh…." Razor groaned, holding his head as he sat down. "What am I gonna do?" he muttered to himself.
Hearing this, the others exchanged pretty agitated looks. What am I gonna do?
"Um...what do you mean by what are YOU gonna do?" asked Krack. "Last time I check we were working together…"
Realizing his mistake, Razor cursed in his head.
"Are you with really with us or not?" asked Aldon. "And tell the fucking truth…"
"Of course I am…" Razor said.
The others gave him untrusting looks.
"Riiight…" said Zayn.
"Come on, don't act like you guys aren't working for yourselves, too", Razor said, knowing that they were gonna go against him. "This game is gonna have ONE winner, and this alliance is just temporary until we try and get the others eliminated. Don't you get it?!"
"We get it, but we aren't just thinking about ourselves at the moment, we're still trying to focus on get ALL of us further, but it seems that you only care about yourself…"
"I just told you why!"
"That doesn't mean shit!" Zayn exclaimed. "Either you're helping all of us, or you're just helping yourself, now which is it?"
Razor sighed. "I'm with you guys…"
"Good", said Flynn. "Now, we need to figure out what we're gonna do…"
"Well...we're down one member..and there's another player who was willing to help last time…" Krack started. "Maybe we can-"
"Get demon dog to join us? HA! I doubt it", Flynn laughed.
"He was willing to vote with us a couple challenges ago…" Krack said with a shrug.
"...in exchange for us never voting for him…" said Aldon. "Which is still a bunch of bullshit…"
"The guy has info on all of us apparently, so I don't think he has to worry…" Razor added.
"Yeah…" Zayn said before gaining a smile. "Why don't we get rid of him now?"
"Because of what his little brother will do to our limbs…" Krack answered.
"Who cares?!" Flynn exclaimed. "If we can get rid of ANYONE, it's a blessing. And right now, I think it'd be beneficial to get rid of him…."
"Yeah, and now that I think about it, if he attacks one of us, we all can team on him…" Aldon added.
"That didn't sound sexual at all…" Krack muttered.
"Shut up…" Aldon said immediately.
"CONTESTANTS! PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE PLAINS IMMEDIATELY!"
"Well, looks like we'll have to hope that he doesn't win or just make sure that he doesn't…" said Zayn.
"Yep…"
000
Everyone made their way to the plains, majority of them glaring daggers at Demenio, who was essentially leading the way. Demenio felt their glares and smiled to himself. "Proof of their weakness. Glaring instead of talking or acting. Pathetic…"
They all reached the area and immediately saw Mew and...an unknown legendary that made their eyes widen out of shock and slight fear.
"Hello campers! Ready for the next challenge?" Mew asked.
"Who the hell is this guy!?" Nate exclaimed.
"Oh, this is one of the new additions to our Hall of Legends, Solgaleo!" Mew said, introducing him. Solgaleo nodded with a small smile.
"Wait, she's make more of you fucks still?!" Aldon exclaimed. "Ugh…"
"So, when can we expect you to become a sicko and torture teens for your own amusement?"
Faced with this awkward question, Solgaleo just remained quiet, as he had no idea what to say.
"Um...he's starting today by acting as the co-host for the day!" Mew said, covering for him, allowing him to sigh in relief.
"What happened to Xerneas and Virizion? They could have still been here…" Dew stated.
"You're married...to two whores…" Zayn stated. "I doubt those legendaries would even want you…"
Dew immediately punched him, knocking him out.
Solgaleo was shocked, his eyes widened, while Mew sweatdropped. "The two of them requested a day off to fool around with Cobalion. They'll be back for the next challenge."
"So, for today, I'll be here…" said Solgaleo, his voice scaring a few of them a bit more.
"Alright, today's challenge is….board games!"
Everyone gained smiles and started conversing happily.
"Alright alright", Mew said as they calmed down. "It's not the way that you think it is…"
"It's not?" asked Aylesha.
"Nope", said Mew. "Sol? Explain…"
"Oh, right...uh…" Solgaleo started. "T-There will be seven board games in total, and you will be paired with someone you will have to compete against in whichever board game you are in. Which one of you wins the board game will get immunity in the elimination."
"Whoa...so today there's gonna be seven people with immunity?!" Razor exclaimed.
"Precisely", Mew stated. "So you'd better hope luck is on your side. Now, onto the pairings…"
Mew took out a clipboard and held it in front of Solgaleo, who sighed in exasperation.
"Nate and...Aylesha will be in 'Snakes and Ladders'", he said, making Nate groan.
"Lila and Aldon will play Chess", he continued.
Aldon rolled his eyes, while Lila sneered.
"Dew and Zayn will play 'Don't Wake Daddy'…"
The two growled and glared at each other.
"Razor and Volante will be in 'Jenga'."
The two exchanged unpleasant glares, which wasn't completely realized, as a steak was put like a patch around Volante 's eye.
"Krack and Ricky will be in 'Candy Land'…"
The two exchanged 'seriously' expressions.
"Flynn and Shade will be in 'Sorry'…"
Shade growled at Flynn, who groaned.
"And Demenio and Hex will play 'Buckaroo!'"
Hex gulped in fear as Demenio grinned maliciously at him.
"Alright, there will be rules in each game so that you know what to do…" said Mew. "Remember, the one who wins the game gets immunity."
"Yeah yeah...now where are the game boards?" asked Zayn. "I'm ready to kick this fucker's ass…"
"Oh you'll get there soon enough", said Mew with a smirk.
"What's with the sm-"
Immediately, they all disappeared.
"Where'd they go?" asked Solgaleo.
"Come over here", Mew said, gesturing him to a large shack with numerous screens inside.
"Whoa…"
"Yep…" Mew said as he sat down. "Just had this made yesterday. Now we just watch what happens and who wins…"
"Wait, so...is this all this job is?"
"Eh...you have to deal with a lot of paperwork, sometimes controversy, and some lawsuits depending on what you do, but yep…" said Mew. "You get some people to sign up, make some challenges and offer money as the grand prize, and that's pretty much it. Each day you want to do a challenge, you just call them down, make up the rules and have them do it. You just get to watch…"
Solgaleo didn't really like that idea, but he digressed and sat down in the seat next to him.
000
Zayn and Dew were now a Treecko and Oshawott again. They were both wearing pajamas as they stood on a section of the ground labeled 'Start'.
"What the hell is this?" Zayn asked.
"My guess is that we're actually in the game…" Dew stated.
"Great…" Zayn groaned. "...and we're in complete limbo here, so I'm stuck here with you…"
"Hey, I ain't enthused either you piece of shit…" Dew growled. "So shut your ass up so I can kick your ass at this game…."
"We need the rules first", said Zayn. "Don't talk shit when you don't even know what to do, clown face…"
"Go fuck yourself retarded Reptar…" Dew retorted as the two growled at each other.
Suddenly, a manual fell from the sky. Seeing this, Dew started walking over, only for Zayn to kick him, causing him to fall face first.
Twitching, Dew stood up and used Ice Beam on him, freezing his body in place.
"You mother fucker!" Zayn exclaimed as Dew picked up the manual.
"Naw, my mom is my dad's territory, so I wouldn't be able to even if I wanted…" Dew retorted as he opened up the manual. "I doubt you have any issues with that considering you don't even know your father…"
Zayn's eyes widened in anger as he broke out of the ice, sending a few shards towards Dew. He rushed towards Dew, who stepped back and stuck his foot out, making him trip.
"Okay, so we have to make sure not to wake up the 'daddy'..." Dew said before raising a brow. "The hell is the 'daddy'?"
"Probably that fatass…" Zayn said as he stood up and pointed to a bed sitting in the middle of the game. There was a Snorlax fast asleep in it.
"Okay...so according to this manual, the youngest player will have to go first…" Dew said.
"Well, that's good for me", Zayn said with a smug grin.
"Thanks for admitting that you're more of a little boy than I am…" Dew stated, causing Zayn to attempt to slash him. He ducked and used Fury Cutter, knocking Zayn on the ground. "Now, there has to be spinner with different colors and whatever we land on...that's where we have to go."
Zayn groaned as Dew chuckled.
"And...there are objects on the spaces…" Dew said as he looked at all of the spaces on the ground. "We're each supposed to have half of those objects, but if we land on a space with a certain object that we don't have, we have to throw a certain number of rocks at 'daddy' based on what we land on…"
"And if we do have the object?"
"You're safe and it's the next player's turn", Dew read. "The first player to the rainbow refrigerator on the other side of the board wins. First person to three wins will gain immunity…"
"Well, where are our objects and rocks?"
Four burlap sacks fell on the ground. Two landed on the ground, one in Zayn's arms, and the last on Dew's head, causing Zayn to burst into laughter.
Dew groaned as he sat up and upon seeing the gecko laughing, picked up a bag and swung it at his crotch, knocking the wind out of him.
"Let's get started, shall we?"
"Fuck...you…" Zayn squeaked as he dropped to his knees.
000
Shade and Flynn were each inside of a tower labeled 'Home' on opposite sides of a large game board. They each has four pieces that were on wheels sitting in a dome labeled 'Start'.
"What the hell?" Shade asked, confused. This DEFINITELY was not how the game was.
The game board overall had four towers, one for each color. Shade was Red and Flynn was Yellow.
Inside of each tower was a dashboard that held single joystick with four different buttons beside it, a monitor showing their locations on the board, spaces, and pieces, a microphone, a card section, a light, and the manual.
"So fucker…are you ready to lose?" he heard Flynn say over the speaker to the left of him.
"Go fuck yourself", said Shade over the microphone. "I've played this game numerous times and I have experience already…"
"Like it matters...it's all up to luck…"
"Whatever, let's just do this", Shade replied. "Fuck the manual, we know how this goes…"
They both pressed the start button and immediately both domes at their starts opened. Flynn got to go first and a set of cards appeared on each dashboard.
Flynn grabbed a card and groaned. He got a '10'. In a standard game, you needed either a '1' or a '2' to even start the game.
The light on the dashboard turned green, signifying that it was Shade's turn now. He pulled a card and got an '8'. He groaned. "One of the most annoying parts of this damn game…"
On Flynn's side, the light turned green and he pulled another card. This time it was a '3'. He groaned in annoyance and threw it down.
Shade went again and this time, he got a '4'. He punched the wall of the tower.
Flynn went once again and finally pulled a '2'. "Finally!"
Using his trunk, he pressed the first button on the dashboard and moved a piece to the first space. He felt very lucky and happy, as he made it out before Shade did, AND because it was a '2', he got to draw another card.
He did so happily, which immediately turned into a sneer as he moved his first piece forward TWELVE times. He ended up exactly one space away from the second green slide. "Luck is on my side. What do you have to say about that, 'killer'?"
"One, I'm not a killer, well...a serial one anyway, and two, I say…" Shade started as he pulled another card. It was a '5'. "FUCK!"
Flynn laughed. "Sucks for you…" he mocked as he pulled another card. This time it was a '7'. He drove his pawn to a square that was two away from Shade's second slide.
"Your move…"
"Come on Arceus, be on my side!" Shade growled as he pulled another card. It was an '8'. He growled and threw the manual at the wall out of anger.
Flynn was loving this. He was actually doing well in a challenge! He pulled another card and got a '1'.
"Whaddya know...another piece can move out now…" Flynn said as he pressed the second button on the dashboard and moved another piece forward.
"This shit is rigged!" Shade exclaimed angrily.
"Or maybe you just suck at this…" said Flynn. "So much for your experience…"
"YOU GOT LUCKY!"
"Yep, this is a game of chance, and it's in my favor now…" Flynn said.
"FYI, I haven't even pulled yet, so with all of that shit you're talking, you'll be eating your words when-FUCK! ARCEUS DAMMIT!" he exclaimed as he threw an '11' on the ground.
Laughter came from the speaker in a large quantity. "Looks like you've run out of saving graces!"
"I never had any…" Shade responded with a growl.
"Whatever…" Flynn said as he drew another card.
000
Lila and Aldon were on opposite sides of a chess board. They were each inside of different towers, with Aldon being white and Lila being black. In these towers, there was simply a touchscreen with images of the what the game board looked like.
However they swept, that piece would move on the actual game board. Along with that touchscreen, there was a microphone and speaker, similar to the ones being used by Flynn and Shade in the other game.
Lila cursed to herself, as she always chose to be white in order to go first. She had a little bit of chess experience, so she knew a few basic tricks. As for Aldon, he used to play chess a lot before being fossilized. He wasn't the best, but he was able to beat twenty others in a row. It may have just been because they didn't know what they were doing though…
The manuals were on their sides and they'd already read them. The basic thing was that the first player to get checkmate twice would win. Other than that, it was a normal chess game.
"You ready over there?" Aldon asked over the mic.
"I was born ready…" Lila said a bit darkly.
This caused Aldon to become a bit unsettled, but, he brushed it off and swiped his first piece. He moved the pawn in front of his king two times. Lila moved the same piece on her side. When in doubt, copy the player before you.
Not expecting that, Aldon moved a piece next to it once to back it up. Lila smirked at this and moved her queen to the far left, putting him in check immediately.
Seeing this, Aldon growled and moved his king forward once, saving him.
Lila decided to move her queen back once.
"Yeah, you'd better move back…"
"Shut up…" said Lila.
Aldon moved his king back to its original location. In response, Lila moved her bishop four blocks diagonally, putting it diagonal to the king. There was a pawn protecting him, however.
Aldon saw this and smiled. He moved the pawn in front of his left rook. Seeing his plan, He used this time to move his queen across and take Lila's, causing her to growl. She moved her bishop back in the same column, not taking the piece nor allowing him to take her bishop.
Aldon decided to move his right knight in front of his king. Lila moved her queen forward again with a smile. "Check…" she gloated over the mic.
Aldon growled in anger; he'd have to sacrifice his knight that he just moved! However, that feeling of anger turned into one of happiness as he saw where she'd be located if she took the knight.
Lila growled and upon seeing the trap, decided not to move her queen. She looked around the board and groaned.
She moved her queen back to its original position next to the king. Aldon chuckled. Aldon used his right bishop and moved it three spaces left diagonally.
Lila decided to move her right knight forward in front of her bishop and pawn. Aldon moved his right knight as well, moving it to the far right column.
Lila quickly moved the pawn he was preparing to take two spaces forward. Aldon smiled and moved that knight again, placing it in the space her just moved pawn was in.
"Check…" Aldon stated with a smile.
Lila growled and moved her king to the left next to her other knight.
Aldon then moved his knight in an L shell so that he could get her queen. However, upon releasing it, he realized his mistake.
"Wait, NO!" Aldon exclaimed.
"Bad move, asshole", Lila said with a smile as she took his knight, causing it to disappear.
Aldon groaned. This was gonna take a while.
000
Hex and Demenio were on opposite sides of a board in front of a claw machine-like set up. There were troughs with various objects inside and claws hovering overhead. Inside of each trough was a sleeping bag, a canteen, a crate, a frying pan, a cowboy hat, a guitar, a holster, a lantern, a rope, a saddle, a stick of dynamite, and a shovel.
Between them was a sleeping Tauros. They already knew the rules after reading over the manual. For this challenge, they had to take turns carefully placing objects on the Tauros' back without waking it up. If it woke up and bucked the objects off, whoever didn't cause it got a point. The first player to three points would win.
"So...um, you ready?!" Hex shouted over to him.
In response, Demenio used his claw and picked up the lantern from his trough. He carefully placed it on the Tauros' back.
Once it was placed, Demenio hit the Tauros' butt, causing it to shift and move a bit. Seeing this, Hex growled. It was now his turn and he used his claw to pick up the cowboy hat. He carefully attempted to place it on the Tauros' head. Demenio, however, wasn't having it and started using his claw to fight off Hex's.
Hex growled and used his magic to send a harsh slap over to him. Demenio flew out of his seat and growled in anger and pain.
Hex successfully put the hat on it and moved his claw back. Demenio rolled his eyes as he got back up and climbed into his seat.
"You're gonna pay for that!" Demenio snarled as he swung his claw hard towards Hex. It didn't go that far though, as it only allowed you to go as far as the Tauros' body width.
"Less meaningless threats and more picking up and dropping…" Hex stated with a glare.
Demenio glared back before moving his claw all the way back to his trough and picking up the shovel. He swung the claw towards Hex, releasing the shovel in an attempt for it to strike him.
It didn't work and the sound actually woke up the Tauros, who jumped and bucked the objects off of itself.
"DAMMIT!" Demenio exclaimed.
"That's what you get, fucker!" Hex said with a smile as a point appeared underneath his name.
Demenio glared and growled furiously.
000
Ricky and Krack were standing at the start of a colorful path with a pattern of red, purple, yellow, blue, orange, green. The land around them was completely made out of sweets Now, this would usually be a joyous and happy place to be, but for these two, they were more annoyed than amused.
"This shit really gets on my nerves…" Ricky muttered. "Just because we're gay doesn't mean that in every challenge we do we have to be paired and the challenge has to be soft, frilly, and girly…"
"I know right!" Krack growled. "This shit pisses me off. But...at least this place is edible", he said as he licked a huge candy cane jutting from the ground.
"You're not helping the cause…" Ricky said, sighing after seeing him do that.
"Hey, you're the one thinking that way…" Krack retorted. "So, what are the rules?"
A manual fell from the sky.
"Well, that's convenient", said Ricky as he walked over to it and picked it up. Opening it up, the smell of cake and candy hit him immediately.
He sighed.
"Alright, what does it say?" asked Krack.
"Apparently we have to pull a card or spin a wheel and move to whatever color we land on…" said Ricky. "The first player there will win…and each space will either be safe or have a challenge dealing with the sweets…"
"I both do and don't like the sound of that…" Krack stated, folding his arms.
"Well, where are the cards or the spinner?" asked Ricky. Two small bags appeared on the ground. Krack and Ricky opened the bags and saw nothing but cards.
"Alright, cool…" said Krack. "So, who goes first?"
"Um...it doesn't say, but it does say that we can't look at the cards before choosing them, it has to be completely random…"
"Simple enough…" Krack said. "But, how do we determine who goes first?"
"This is probably gonna just feed more into their bullshit, but...how often do you…'top'?"
Krack gave him a 'seriously' look. "What does that have to do with-"
"Just answer…" he said.
"Okay...I never do…" said Krack, folding his arms with a blush.
Ricky was surprised, even he was a top a few times. "Wait, so...you always-"
"Okay, how is questioning my sex life gonna help us start this damn challenge?" asked Krack, blushing with a glare.
"Well, I was gonna say whoever topped the least could go first", Ricky said. "And apparently Smash doesn't-"
"FYI, he offers and I refuse, I just like being a bottom", Krack stated. "So, now that we've given all of these fuckers watching a good laugh or making them puke, why don't we just start…"
He reached into his bag and pulled out a green card. He started walking towards the first green section. Upon stepping on it, it glowed and a sign appeared.
"Challenge: Eat an entire candy cane…" Krack read. He facepalmed himself.
He looked around and found a small candy cane on the ground. He tossed it into his mouth and chewed it up before swallowing it. The sign disappeared.
Ricky pulled out a pink card that had a gingerbread man on it. "Whoa, first try!"
Ricky started walking along the path, passing by Krack and sitting on a tile with a gingerbread cookie on it. It was two tiles away from Krack.
Krack pulled out a card and it was blue, allowing him to move in front of Ricky, a single tile between them now.
"Man, this is a game of luck", said Ricky as he reached into his bag. He pulled out a blue as well, putting him on the same tile as Krack.
Krack pulled out yet another blue, causing him to grin as he moved forward, going pretty far from Ricky. However, knowing this game, he'd be seen again soon. As he reached the blue space, another sign appeared.
"Lick the 'Peppermint Forest' sign next to you…" he read before groaning. "This shit is annoying…"
000
Nate and Aylesha were on separate 'floors', as their game board was set up as blocks that made stairs. There were Arbok, Seviper, and Serperior cuffed by their bodies going over the edges. They were all furious as well, making it more dangerous.
Nate was on the 12th and Aylesha was on the 43rd one.
"Nate come on!" Aylesha said. "Actually try!"
"I already told you that I want you to get the immunity between us!" Nate said as he rolled the die he had.'
For this game, they just had to roll the die and move horizontally up the staircase. If they landed on a block with a ladder, they got to climb up and if they got on a space with a snake head or tail, they had to go back down. If they rolled a six, they got to roll again. The first person to the 100th block would win.
"That doesn't mean anything to me and you know it…" Aylesha replied.
"Well it does to me…" Nate said as he threw his die down. It landed on a '6'. He started walking towards the 18th block, which had a ladder there. He sighed and started climbing it, all the while avoiding bite attempts from the snakes that were nearby.
He made it to the top and saw that he was on block 33 now. Now he had to roll again. He rolled the die and got a '5'.
He went ahead and dodged another possible snake bite, then dove to the 38th block. He sighed in relief as he wiped his head.
Aylesha rolled a '3' and went towards the 46th block. She saw that there was an Arbok's tail there and groaned. She went over and slid down it, narrowly avoiding a bite.
She ended up on block 23, where she growled in annoyance. Seeing this, Nate groaned. He rolled his die and got a '4'. He moved to the 37th block and there was nothing there, so he smiled in relief.
Aylesha rolled her die and got a '6'. She smiled and proceeded to the 29th block, which luckily had a ladder. She climbed up and found herself at block 36. She giggled. "Hey there…" she greeted playfully.
Nate grinned as she rolled her die and got a '1'.
She moved forward once and kissed him. Nate chuckled before he rolled his die. He got a '4' and moved to the 42nd block. Now he had to hope that he didn't get another '4' or he'd be sliding back down to block 23.
Aylesha rolled her die again, getting a '6'. She started moving to block 43, back to where she was before. She shook her rump in front of Nate, who grinned mischievously.
She immediately rolled again, getting a '2' this time. She moved forward twice, right before the snake block.
The Arbok on the next block used Poison Sting, but Aylesha ducked as Nate walked forward three blocks. He got hit, sending him to the ground.
"Nate!" she gasped as she turned around and tried sitting him up.
Nate groaned, rubbing his head.
"You okay sweetie?" asked Aylesha.
"Yeah, I'm not poisoned, so…"
Aylesha glared and used Seed Bomb on the Arbok, knocking it out. "There…"
"You know you'll still have to slide down if you get a '1', right?"
"Yeah…"
"Well, better roll and hope…" Nate said, smacking her butt.
Aylesha purred. "You really are-"
"Ah!" Nate said, hushing her. "Later…"
Aylesha smiled before rolling the die. She got a '5'. She quickly kissed his cheek before moving five blocks over.
"This is gonna be a long day…" Nate said.
000
Volante and Razor had to play Jenga. The game rules were simple: they moved blocks to the top of the tower without making it topple over. However, in this version, the blocks were all bombs and as soon as they removed them, they had ten seconds to put them on top.
The one who didn't make it fall got a point and the first one to two points won. At the moment, it was Razor's turn and he was quickly flying up to the top to place his block.
"Ha!" he gloated as he flew back down. Volante growled and pushed a middle block out of its socket. It immediately started flashing red. He quickly flew around the tower and picked up the block before flying up.
Razor grinned and followed him up before using Dual Chop, causing him to topple into the tower. "Looks like I win the first point…" Razor said with a smile.
"BU-"
BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!
"...SHIT!" Volante growled as he flipped over back on his legs. "YOU ATTACKED ME!"
"Oh, my apologies, I would think that your beef steak-ness would be able to handle a little HAKARL!"
"Go fuck yourself…" Volante growled.
"Why would I when I had Vina doing it for over a year?"
Volante immediately blasted a Hyper Beam, which Razor dodged with a smile. "Oh, so you can talk shit about me, but don't let me tell you what happened between us during your time apart…"
"You shut your fucking mouth…" Volante growled viciously.
"I swear, you'd think we were pornstars with how many times we've done it…" Razor goaded while the Jenga tower reassembled itself.
"I'm warning you…" Volante growled with a glare.
"She rode me like a bike four out of seven days of the week, man…" said Razor. "I'm surprised she hadn't ACTUALLY gotten pregnant…"
Volante used Dragon Rush, which hit Razor hard. Razor growled and used Dual Chop again, sending him to the ground.
Razor smiled as he flew down towards him. "Looks like it's my turn…" he said, pushing a block out of its place.
He picked it up and flew up to put it on the top. Volante was growing tired of this. He was already still haunted by the fact that Vina was fucking Razor for years after their break up.
Now they were together again, and this bastard was reminding him of the misery he faced in those years and having fun doing so. He was done.
He stood up slowly, seething with rage. He shook himself and a mega stone with tape around it fell from underneath his wing.
He grabbed it and started glowing purple. Razor started coming down, only to see him glowing.
He growled. "This fuck's gonna try to Mega evolve, huh?"
Volante sipped glowing and was now staring daggers at Razor. His wing was a large crescent one, his 'horns' grew longer, and his chest extended out, his paws now sitting firmly inside of it.
"How cute...your rage is showing…"
"Cute?" Volante asked. "You sure you're not gay? With those times Draco's tried, I would think you learned…"
"You shut that shit up…
"Not so fun when the shoe's on the other foot, huh?" Volante retorted. "I think now is a good time to tell you that Draco did lots of things to you and made you do things to him while you slept when he was still here…"
"WHAT?!"
"Yep, I'm sure you had fun, though…"
Razor attempted to use Dragon Claw, but Volante moved swiftly, causing him to hit the tower, causing it topple at the top. It still counted, giving Volante the point.
"I will destroy you!" Razor growled as he Mega evolved as well.
"Bring it on, fucker!"
000
Zayn had to throw five rocks at the sleeping Snorlax, as he didn't have a barking dog. Dew was ahead and nearing the end, but Zayn was close behind.
Dew spun the spinner and got on red.
Dew ended up on a red bullhorn. He looked inside of the bag and upon seeing that he had no red bullhorn, he groaned.
Zayn cleared his throat and shook the red bullhorn with a sneer.
"Of course…"
The number he got was 4, so he threw four stones at the Snorlax. He thought that it'd pop up by now, but he sighed in relief upon getting no reaction from it.
Zayn growled and used Seed Bomb on him, causing a small explosion once Dew dodged.
This caused the Snorlax to move a bit and sit up. Zayn suddenly felt something around him, but there was nothing there. He found himself being pulled away as Dew smiled.
"Instant karma...ya gotta love it" he said.
Zayn was now back at the beginning. He growled in anger. "DAMN IT! THAT SHIT ISN'T EVEN FAIR!"
Zayn spun his spinner and got a blue. He moved to a blue, and luckily nothing was there.
On the other side near the end, Dew was moving. After hearing a ding, Dew assumed that it was his turn. He spun his spinner and got a yellow. And luckily, he was only a tile away and it was yellow.
"Yes! First point!" he exclaimed.
000
Suddenly, both he and Zayn were teleported out of their limbo game world fully evolved.
"What the hell?" Dew asked. "I still had to kick his ass two more times!"
"Look at your manual again…" Mew said.
"Um...everything's still in that other place…"
"Oh, well, if you looked closely, you'd see that it said you do NOT have to go three times…"
"Granted, he put it extremely small, but...to each their own…"
"So...did I win?" asked Dew.
"Yep, you get immunity…" said Solgaleo.
"Ha!" Dew mocked.
Zayn uppercutted him with a Leaf Blade instantly, causing Dew to respond with a Megahorn.
"Well, that's one...six more to go, right?" asked Solgaleo.
"Yep…" said Mew. "Back to the monitors!"
000
Shade was clawing at his head in utter anger and annoyance. He had finally moved out of the start after over 20 cards, only to have Flynn send him back by landing on the same spot as him.
"Fuck this, I'm done…" Shade growled, punching the dashboard and creating a large dent.
"Aw...rage quitting?" Flynn goaded. "How predictable…"
"Go fuck yourself! This shit is rigged!"
"Whatever you say…"
"No, fuck this! I forfeit!"
Flynn started laughing once again as the two of them were teleported out of their game.
-000-
"Whoa, what happened Shade?" asked Mew.
"That shit was rigged!" Shade growled. "I couldn't move for over TWENTY...FUCKING..TURNS!"
"Maybe you just got bad cards…" Solgaleo said.
Shade glared at the lion, who immediately moved behind Mew out of fear. He didn't know why, but despite the size difference, he did NOT want anything to do with Shade.
"Well, Flynn...looks like you have immunity…" said Mew.
"Damn right…" Flynn said with a smile.
"At least one of us is safe…" Zayn said, patting Flynn on the back.
Shade grumbled to himself as he sat away from everyone else.
000
Aldon and Lila's chess game was drawing to a close, with Lila only having her rook, king, and queen, and Aldon still having a bishop, rook, his king, and three pawns.
"This is going be too easy…" Aldon said as he moved his rook across from Lila's king. "Check…"
Lila growled and moved her queen in front of her king to protect it. Luckily, they were next to each other.
"Check…" Lila said with a sneer.
Aldon's eyes widened as he looked and saw that his king was out in the open. His pawns were all on the left and his bishop was at the top right corner, where it couldn't take anything.
Aldon moved his king to the left quickly, allowing Lila to take his rook. He gasped before growling.
"You fucking bitch!"
"Aw...is someone mad?"
"Fuck you, slut!"
"Yep...definitely mad", Lila responded.
Aldon moved his bishop diagonally so that it put her king in check. "Check…"
"When you're panicked, you don't pay attention at all, do you?" asked Lila.
When she moved her queen, Aldon had a straight shot to take it, but he stopped at her king. Aldon noticed it after she said it and roared in annoyance.
"Welp, too bad", Lila said as she took the bishop. Aldon growled and just started moving his pawns.
Lila moved her queen across to a section before his king. It wasn't check, but Aldon wasn't taking any chances and moved his king down. Lila smiled to herself and moved her rook down so that it put him in check.
Aldon growled and moved his king again, putting him at that edge of the board.
"Oh Arceus damn it…" he muttered.
"Well...Lila said, moving her queen all the way down, but not too close, next to his king. "That's checkmate…"
"FUCK!" Aldon growled. "Alright, time for the rematch-"
-000-
The two of them were teleported out of the game.
"Whoa, what the hell?!" Aldon exclaimed. "She had to beat me again, which WASN'T gonna happen…"
"That's what you thought…" said Mew. "We gave false looks to see if some of you would forfeit or let someone else win in, fucking yourself over."
"You're an ass…"
"Nope", said Mew. "I'm not Victini. Lila, you've got immunity."
Lila giggled while Aldon growled in anger.
Dew and Lila high pawed, while Shade mumbled to himself.
000
Hex and Demenio were sitting at their respective places. The sleeping bag was being placed by Demenio while Hex yawned in boredom.
Seeing this, Demenio glared as he dropped it on the Tauros' back.
Hex went ahead and had his turn next, picking up the blender to put on the Tauros' back.
Once that was placed, Hex felt darkness around him, making him uncomfortable. He looked across at Demenio and saw that his piercing red eyes were staring right THROUGH him. He felt like he couldn't move; he was very frightened.
To make matters worse, it was his turn now and he gained a sickening grin. Demenio picked up the stick of dynamite with his claw and moved it over to the Tauros' butt.
Hex's eyes widened. "You wouldn't fucking dare…"
Demenio put the dynamite between the Tauros' thighs, which caused Hex to sigh in relief but also glare.
"You fucker…" he growled.
"Oh, did you think that sodomy was going to occur?" Demenio asked rhetorically. "I'm sure enough butt-related incidents have occurred already, so don't you worry, mutt…"
"Who're you calling a mutt, you demon dick?!"
"Great comback...did your whore of a fiancee tell you that?!"
Hex growled and lifted Demenio up before tossing him into the Tauros' area.
He snarled and charged towards him, with Hex smirking all the while.
"You have fun in there…"
Demenio felt breathing down his neck and growled. He turned around to see the Tauros glaring at him.
Demenio didn't show any fear and used Fire Blast, fainting it in an instant. Hex's eyes widened as Demenio punched the wall separating them, breaking it, and pulled Hex forward by half of his mustache. At this point, the Houndoom was Mega evolved and had a furious glare on his face.
"You...are...DONE", he snarled.
Hex wasn't fazed. This surprised him, but he wasn't afraid. MORGAN scared him more than Demenio was right now.
Hex pushed Demenio back before lifting him high and slamming him back down, causing him to groan as he changed back.
"Idiot…"
-000-
They found themselves being teleported out.
"Well, that was very...scary", Solgaleo said, eyeing Demenio, who was regaining his footing.
"Yeah yeah, can I get my immunity now?" asked Hex.
"What do you mean?" asked Mew.
"Um...he made the Tauros wake up the most, so...I win…"
"Actually, YOU put him in at one point, meaning that YOU woke it up...and you made it buck before too, almost immediately after he did…" Solgaleo explained.
"And, because he knocked it out, that means that technically YOU caused it to break, so…"
"Wait...are you tell me...that because Hex teleported this fucker into whatever area you're talking about and HE broke it. It's Hex's fault?"
"Yes…ever heard of indirect influence?"
"Oh that's bullshit!", Lila exclaimed.
"To each their own…" said Mew.
000
Ricky and Krack were still in their game, with Krack in the lead, and Ricky following close behind. Krack was standing on a blue tile and Ricky was on a yellow one. The game was close as there was only one more corner to turn around before one of them won.
Krack pulled a red and moved two tiles forward. Ricky was actually stuck on his tile, as it was a Licorice space, so he couldn't do anything.
Seeing this Krack giggled and pulled another card. He got an orange and moved forward. "Yes! I can see the castle!"
"Oh no!" Ricky said as the licorice disappeared and he pulled out a card. Unfortunately, it was a pink card with a peanut on it.
"NO!" he exclaimed. He felt himself getting dragged backwards.
Krack's eyes widened after seeing this and he gulped. He still had almost all of his pink cards! He sucked his teeth and pulled another card. It was another orange. He gasped in surprise and happiness before rushing to it.
Now further back, Ricky was pretty much giving up at this point. He pulled out a blue card and sighed before moving forward.
Krack wagged his tail in excitement, but also complete nervousness. He pulled out a card, partially expecting it to be a pink card, but surprisingly, it was a purple!
He ran up to the castle. "YES! I won something!"
-000-
Krack and Ricky were both teleported out of their game, Krack smiling like mad.
"Congrats Krack, you have immunity!"
Krack nodded and moved back to his alliance, while Ricky sulked towards Shade and laid next to him. Seeing this, Demenio sneered, but...he couldn't help but feel bad deep down.
"Two more games to go…" said Mew.
000
Nate was on block 76, while Aylesha was on block 62. She kept landing on snake blocks and had to slide down three other times before finally catching up a bit by landing on a ladder space that took her to her current space. Meanwhile, Nate had barely any trouble. He only got on a snake block one other time and was landing on ladder blocks.
Nate rolled his die, as it was his turn. He got a '5'. He moved forward four blocks before climbing up onto the next 'step'.
Aylesha rolled a '6' and squealed in happiness. She quickly moved to the 68th block, jumping over the Serperior on block 65. Looking down, she saw that if she'd landed there, she'd have to go all the way back to block 23. She smiled as she took out her die and started to roll. Luckily, this time, she got a '3', which was exactly what she needed. Block 71 had a ladder that led straight to block 96.
Nate saw this and nodded in support. Nevertheless, he rolled his die and got a '4'. As he moved, Aylesha was crossing her claws. After Nate stopped, she rolled her die and got a '5'.
"YES!" she cheered.
-000-
"And Aylesha gets the last immunity!" Mew exclaimed.
"Wait...where's Razor?" asked Flynn.
"And Volante?" Lila added.
"Oh, we teleported them out before…" said Mew. "Don't worry…they're both in the infirmary..."
-000-
Volante and Razor were lying in beds across the room from each other. Both were covered in scars and glaring daggers at one another.
"Alright boys…" a nurse said as she entered with a rolling cart with needles on them. "Time to clean those wounds…"
Volante twitched. "LET ME OUT OF HERE!"
Razor rolled his eyes. "Shut the hell up ya big baby…" Razor said as the Audino pulled the covers back.
"Alright, you'll gonna feel a sharp pinch around your groin…."
"Wait, what?"
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
-000-
"So who got the immunity between them?"
"Razor…"
"Of course…"
"Well, time for elimination…" Solgaleo said.
"Definitely…" said Mew. "I can't wait to see how this goes!"
Everyone exchanged glares
000
Everyone made it back to the elimination ceremony, including Volante and Razor, who were looking rather traumatized.
"Alright, before we begin, let's hand out immunity!" Mew said. "Aylesha, Razor, Krack, Demenio, Flynn, Lila, and Dew, you all are safe…"
They all caught their poffins.
"Ricky, Shade, Nate, and Zayn you guys are safe as well…"
Dew growled.
"Hex, Volante, and Aldon, you three are at the bottom…" said Mew.
"I wonder how…" Hex and Volante both stated sarcastically.
"Well, one of you three isn't gonna find out why...and that poor bastard is…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
...Aldon!"
"WHAT!?" he exclaimed.
"WHAT?!" his alliance members exclaimed.
"You have gotta be kidding me!"
"Well, we're not. You're out, dude…" said Solgaleo.
"THIS IS BULLSHIT!" he growled.
000
Aldon was inside of the Flush of Shame.
"What the hell!?" Solgaleo exclaimed.
"Yeah, this is our elimination method…" said Mew. "Amazing right?"
"By amazing, if you mean horrifically disgusting, then yes…"
"This is complete and total bullshit!" Aldon exclaimed.
"Yeah, whatever you say…" said Mew as he flushed it. "So...what do you think?"
"Um...I have no opinion…" said Solgaleo. "On one hand, this is morally wrong, and on the other hand, it's entertainment. So...yeah, I got nothing…"
"Well, don't worry. You and Lunaala and Magearna will have your own shows soon enough…"
"I doubt it…" Solgaleo said, rolling his eyes.
000
AND...done. Well...this was surely a fun a challenge...for the most part. Special guest Solgaleo, eh? Interesting. Aldon's gone, so Lila finally got her request. Maybe now she can actually be open (as if Jesse had done that enough already). Anyways, I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you all next time on Total...Pokemon...All-Stars! See ya guys, BYE!
#TeamPopplio