I know it's been a REALLY LONG TIME, but I wrote this chapter a long time ago and felt bad that it never got posted. So I polished it up a bit and here we are. I don't know if I can/will reboot the whole story, but I still wanted to add this - it explains the flashback in the previous chapter.
I've really missed this and you guys and the Perfect Illusions site, may it rest in peace (for those hard-core IS shippers).
~ Ms. Kitka
- Chapter 37 -
Jude slowly awoke, rubbing her sleep-filled eyes, trying to adjust to the bright light that was pouring in through the windows. Once she was finally able to see, she realized that the body that had previously warmed the bed bedside her was missing. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for any sight of the man she loved, but he was nowhere in sight.
"Tommy?" Jude called as she readjusted herself in the bed, raising to lean upon the headboard for support. She sat there for a moment as she relived the dream she'd had. It had been their wedding night and the events that led up to it. In all honestly, for the first week or so after they got married, she hadn't really been able to remember too much from that night. More of just flashes, really. But slowly, as time passed, more and more of it came back to her. She smiled as she remembered that night. They had started the night as just friends. Well, technically, they had never really been "just friends". Still, they had yet to truly admit their feelings for the other. So, they had begun the evening as friends (sort of), and finished it as man and wife. And, as they later found out, parents-to-be. It truly amazed her how much just one night could change the rest of your life. Still groggy from sleep, she rubbed her eyes again and stretched before slowing rising from the bed. As soon as she was fully upright, her eyes widened in surprise before rushing to the bathroom.
A few minutes later she padded into Tommy's living room, the soft sounds of his guitar calling her. She watched for a few moments as he played a few chords, tweaked them a little and tried again. He wrote a few notes in his journal and tried the chords again, this time softly humming and eventually signing along to the guitar. "...Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone. I played my part..." He stopped for a moment, readjusted his fingers on the guitar and tried a few more chord variations before he found one that he liked. "...I played my part. No. I played my part. Much better." He mused absentmindedly. He wrote a few more notes in his journal, then continued. "I played my part and kept you in the dark. Now let me show you the shape of my heart." He leaned down again to make a few notes and Jude figured it was time to make her presence known.
"Morning, handsome" she cooed as she wrapped her arms around his neck from behind. He smiled, pulling her arms further around him before leaning back to give her a sweet kiss. "Good morning yourself. Did you sleep okay?" He put down his guitar while she circled the couch to sit down beside him. "I was just about to ask you the same thing. But I slept fine... Until I woke up and found you gone, that is." She answered with a wink. "Well, you know how it is... Inspiration hit." He grinned as he pulled her against his side. "Why didn't you wake me? I would've been happy to help..." She added with a yawn. He couldn't help but chuckle before he answered her. "You just looked so adorable all snuggled up in the comforter... I didn't want to wake you. Besides, I had so many different ideas running through my head that I just wanted to get some of them out... Sort through them a little."
She nodded as she snuggled deeper into his side. "Yeah, I get it. It's just a little lonely in that big bed all alone." He smiled and patted her belly. "But you're not alone. At least not for the next few months." She looked down at her belly grinning before she answered. "I know... But you know what I mean. I missed you." He simply rubbed his nose against hers and pecked her lips in reply.
"Speaking of... I think it's official. We have a new pregnancy symptom" She stated matter of factly, causing him to wince. "Not nausea, I hope." "Nope... But, I've had to pee like crazy." He chuckled as he sighed in relief. "Remember how bad it was yesterday?" He just nodded as she went on. "Well, I made sure not to have anything to drink for a couple hours before we went to bed. Still, I woke up having to go REALLY bad... I almost didn't make it." He tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help it. She soon joined in, but tried to continue. "It's not my fault! I didn't think it would start so soon... How can something so small make me have to go sooo much? I figured that wouldn't happen until I was much further along and she... OR he..." She added when she saw his look. "...was much bigger. You know, heavier and putting more weight on my innards." She finished with a slight pout.
He pulled her closer as he tried to reassure her. "That just goes to show how much we still need to learn. We can't wait until the baby gets here, we need to get started now." She nodded in acceptance. "I knooow... Sadie's already done a little research on her own and recommended a few books and websites for us to check out. I was going to look into them after we got settled in the house this week. For now, I'm more focused on getting us moved. I don't think there should be any more surprises for a while... At least not for the next week or so."
He pecked her lips and pulled her close to him again. "That should be fine... We just don't want to wait too long. We're already at a big disadvantage being first time parents. I don't want to be TOO unprepared for all of the surprises to come. We're gonna do the very best that we can for this baby. You and he or she deserve nothing but the very best!" Tommy finished with a grin. "We already have the very best. You." Jude stated simply, not moving from her spot snuggled against Tommy's side.
They both smiled as they sat in silence, cuddled on the couch. Tommy listened to Jude's soft breaths, while she was nearly lulled back to sleep by his steady heartbeat against her ear. They sat like that for a few more moments, both completely content and comfortable. Determined not to fall back asleep and to enjoy their last full day in the apartment, Jude forced herself to sit up.
"So... Want to work on your song some more? It sounded pretty good." She questioned hopefully. "Yeah I guess... It's still pretty rough. I just woke up this morning and got to thinking about the past few months, then the past few years before that and it just sort of hit me. Ever since we told Darius that I was actually considering some solo stuff, it's just been a flood of ideas. Some better than others, of course... But I really like this one. It's got some real potential." He answered thoughtfully. "So does this signal the start of your solo album?" He shrugged before continuing. "I... It still terrifies me. I've been away from the stage for so long. And since 'BoyzAttack', a lot of the industry sees me as a big joke musically. They know I'm a good producer, but that's it. I don't think I'm ready for a full solo attempt. Not yet. What if it flopped right off the bat? I don't think I could take that..."
Jude knew Tommy was nervous about really trying to go solo, but the depth of it truly surprised her. He had started to ramble, so Jude quickly reassured him. "Relax, Quincy. You're a wonderful performer. There's no way that could happen... But even if it did, it wouldn't be the end of the world. My first album flopped, remember? But the second skyrocketed to the top." He watched her as she spoke, his even expression giving nothing away. "But you're amazing girl... This might be my one and only chance. If I blow it, I might not get another shot." She took in his words, considering them before speaking. "Okay. What do you propose to do then? I know you... You're not the kind to give up." She finished with a knowing look.
"You're right. I'm not giving up. I've wanted to try it on my own since long before the 'Boyz' broke up. But... I'm just not ready. Not yet. I thought I was years ago and we both know how that ended up. I was thinking about maybe releasing a single or two. Maybe under the radar online... See what the fans think. Or maybe even add a song or two as bonus material on your next album if you'd let me. And then... MAYBE I'd consider a full blown solo attempt. But for now? Baby steps." He suggested. "Alright. If that's what you want, then that's what we'll do. Whatever makes you happy. That's all that I'm interested in." She agreed with a peck on his lips. She pulled him into her embrace, needing to feel his strength, but knowing deep down that he needed to feel hers more. They sat like that until the moment was interrupted by the sound of Jude's stomach grumbling. "And on that note... Let's get you fed." Tommy chuckled as he rose, pulling her from her spot on the sofa. She couldn't help but giggle. "It's not my fault... The baby's hungry!" As he reached the kitchen he softly mumbled under his breath, still laughing "Yeah, only the baby... Right!"
Once they were finished with their late breakfast/early lunch they both helped clean up- Jude rinsing the dishes, with Tommy loading the dishwasher. He leaned against the counter once he was done and had started the cycle. "So, my love, what do you have planned for the rest of the day? Want to go for a ride? You know, clear our heads a bit..." He proposed while tossing her a dish towel to dry her hands. "That sounds great, but maybe just a short one. I've got to check on the house and make sure all of the furniture got delivered yesterday like it was supposed to. While I appreciate Jamie meeting the delivery guys and telling them where to put everything, I can't help but worry. I want everything perfect for when we FINALLY move in tomorrow." She was so excited she could barely keep from bouncing.
"Relax, I'm sure it's fine. Besides, it can't be too perfect yet, we didn't order that much. Just enough to get us through while we get the rest." Yet again, Tommy was the voice of reason. "Yeah, yeah... I know, I know. But still... I want it to be as perfect as it can be. Which reminds me, when are the guys supposed to start on the remodel of the downstairs bedroom? I want to make sure I steer clear, at least through the demolition phase." She asked as she turned back towards their bedroom with Tommy not far behind. "They start sound-proofing the beginning of next week. D said these guys are good and, more importantly, they're fast. So hopefully they'll be done with the studio by the end of the week." "Good. I can't wait to be completely moved into OUR new home. Can you believe it? It's all ours! I've never had anything of my own before... First living in Dad's house and then here. I'm so excited!" She exclaimed before digging through one of the boxes for something to wear.
"Come on... I already told you. This place is yours too. What's mine is yours, remember?" Tommy momentarily distracted her from her search as he pulled her to him, brushing her hair from her face as he did so. "Yeah, but it's not the same. Know what I mean?" She leaned into his hand on her cheek. "Yeah, I know." He held onto her as he sighed. "It's gonna be weird to leave this place. She's the first place I ever really called home... Hell, it's the first place that ever really felt like home. You made it home." Jude wrapped herself in Tommy's arms, her back to his front, as he turned nostalgic. "Yeah... We've had a lot of good times here over the years, haven't we?" She asked, looking up at him over her shoulder. He simply looked around his apartment, lost in memories. "We sure have. I remember when I first moved in... I was subletting on a month-to-month just before I started helping Georgia with the Instant Star contest. She'd only asked me to produce the first single for the winner. Naturally, I didn't think I'd be here too long, so I didn't bother looking for anything more permanent." He reminisced with a soft smile.
"Really?" She was genuinely surprised. He'd never told her how he'd come to work for Georgia besides the fact that he was just doing her a favor. She'd always assumed it had been for the whole album, not just the first single. "Yeup. But after a few weeks of working with you, I figured I might stay a while. You know, take a chance and see where life would take me if I actually stayed still long enough. And here we are." Tommy turned her towards him as he finished. "Yeah, here we are." She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
He pecked her on the lips before continuing. "Honestly, before you, Jude, I was living out of hotel rooms. At least that's what it felt like. I had that loft in New York, but I was always traveling so much that I was never there long enough to enjoy it." She kept her hold on him as she looked him in the eyes. "Well now we have a place that's all ours and you are most definitely going to be around for a LONG time and will thoroughly enjoy it. It's so big that I doubt we'll ever outgrow it. We could live there for the rest of our lives... Just a few more improvements to be made and it'll be perfect." He hugged her to him and truly relished the moment. "Yeah, OUR house. No one bothering us or telling us what to do. No pesky neighbors or crazy fans to worry about. It'll be perfect!" Tommy finished as he picked her up and spun her around the room.