Hey guys! So this is a quick little thing for you all. Two things I wanna tell you all about today. First off, my older brother wrote a story and made me promice to post it so: read away, it will hopefully make you laugh. I laughed when I read it (don't take offence to it it's supposed to be funny)
The story of Crystal and what like she thought of like Edward Cullen yeah.
Once I read twilight yeah and I was like,
"Oh my god Edward Cullen is such a poof yeah," and my mate Champagne was all like,
"Na blood Edward Cullen is bare hot you get me?", but I thought that was totally dumb because what kind of bloke has sparkly skin and doesn't even want to give Bella some, when she's like... 'I love you Eddie boy', yeah because that's just so dumb yeah?
So anyway I was in the park with Champagne the next day like but she had to bring her daughter Ellapesha yeah because her dad was selling some coke in the house and like this one time he fed Ellapesha some and the weird kid didn't like even say thanks or nothing it was just crying and being like sick everywhere. Anyway I was saying like Tyrone was on the swings yeah with his well buff mate called Disney yeah but they was like proper pissed because they properly smacked that old guy at the off license again yeah and like took some Bacardi Breazers like. I thought that was well hard because Breazers are like not even beer it's like so strong I heard this one time Champagne drank like half a bottle and she took her kit off for Ricky but everyone knows Ricky likes it up the arse.
What were I saying? Oh yeah so like I was like,
"Tyrone blood are you like drinking Breazers?", but like he wouldn't answer me yeah. So Champagne was like,
"You bell end are you drunk?", then Tyrone said,
"Yeah but like I read this book that my sister had called Twilight yeah and I have to drink now," but that was like so confusing yeah because Tyrone can't even read or nothing like that but why was he reading Twilight yeah? So I sat on Disney's lap and he was like proper groping me it was well bad but he's so buff he like shaved all his hair off so I was like well glad. Then Tyrone started going on and was saying,
"I believe Stephanie Mayer has found a uniquely profound and powerful link with the youth of today. The impacts of a society where people are encouraged to relentlessly destroy themselves with drink and drugs, coupled with the overpowering subliminal imagery influencing young people to express themselves not as an individual people but as a host to the symbiotic nature of corporate branding is terrible. People are becoming walking, breathing advertisements of the conglomerates that seek to propel their business at the expense of their customers. Twilight succeeds in taking young people, particularly teenage girls away from a mindless homogeneity and expresses to them the idea of a pure love and the image of a good man in Edward Cullen that is absent in today's world. It does this somewhat hypocritically by incorporating the idea that Bella could very well be many girls (and is surrounded by the shallow, self centred society in which we are dragged down in) and her character is drawn out by Mayer in a way that many girls could empathise with her."
After all that total shit that Tyrone was like going on about yeah I said,
"Tyrone you're a batty boy," and he was like,
"Edward is my love now," so yeah I was like laughing at Tyrone for being in love with a boy yeah. I was like thinking Edward is so dumb yeah but after he tried to like kill himself when he thought Bella was like a right slut and was going to jump off that well big cliff and die I fell in love with Edward Cullen too.
So like I got my dad to write this letter (because I can't write yet but I'm like trying) to Stephanie Mayer saying I would shank that bitch if she didn't like tell me where Edward Cullen really lives because I reckon Edward has like a massive cock. She sent me a letter and something yeah and she said,
"Do you really think Edward Cullen, being straight but so perfect for women is real? He's the ideal, before he was a vampire he could almost have been a real man. Becoming a vampire enhanced him and made him such a being that he was beyond what any man could give to a woman so there was no way Edward could really exist."
That was like dumb yeah. So I killed myself.
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I know, this is the insanity I have to live with, feel for me.
xD
Okay, so the second thing is about my upcomming stroy. I wanted to tell you guys a little more about it because I am hoping to start posting it in about a week (i'm going away so i'll start posting next week when I get back)
Anywho, the story is Edward/Bella. It starts out AH, but will turn more AU. This next stroy will be more fantasy and it will be a lot darker and grusome than GUINAO. It will be drama/angst, it won't be happy it won't be plesant. I wanted to try something new. However I am trying to keep parts of it lighter with bits of humor and whatnot.
Anywho, as i said, I will start posting next week and I hope you all go and read it when it does come out
Loves
Happy
xxx