Tuesday came quickly and I was rushing at the house to get everything ready after having to do things outside of the house after guard. Even at the vampire speed, it still seemed like I was running out of time. I had to load and unload the dishwasher, switch laundry over and fold the clean stuff that would also need to get put away. The floors needed vaccumed, toys had to be put away.; I could see a layer of dust starting to form on the TV screen. The kids weren't even ready yet. They needed to get baths and eat before the Cullens got here. Thankfully, Alec came home and started helping, seeing that I was really rushing. He got the kids ready and also got the toys picked up and floors vaccumed while I did the other stuff. I heard a car pull into the driveway as I was putting the last pile of clean clothes in the closet and Alec was putting a bottle in Emma's mouth.
The door bell rang and I picked Jordan to answer the door. Alec sat in the living room with Emma eating.
"Hey!" I greeted all of the Cullens cheerfully when I answered the door. "Come on in."
"Hi, Bella." Alice was the first one in the door. "Oh. This must be Jordan. He is so adorable! Where is Emma?"
"She's in the living room with Alec. He just gave her her bottle."
I led them into the living room and they all were passing the twins around to hold them and get a good look at them. They were all happy for us and they thought the kids were absolutely adorable. I noticed that Rosalie stayed a little distant and I looked to Emmett, getting his attention. He gave me a questioning look and I looked to Rosalie quickly. He understood what I meant.
Don't worry about her. he told me through his thoughts. It's just a little difficult for her because you have the babies. A little jelousy is all. She'll come around soon. He gave a reassuring smile.
"Can we see their rooms, Bella?" Alice asked.
"Yeah. Of course." I led them up to Emma's room first.
"Oh, this is adorable." Esme said. The rest of the girls seemed to agree. The guys, while thinking it was cute for a girl with it being pink and girly, wanted to see Jordan's room. We went there next. All of the guys liked it.
We went downstairs for a while just chatting and catching up with each other. There was a football game on a little later in the day. The guys wanted to watch it so the girls and I went upstairs into the family room. Jordan stayed with the guys and Emma came with us.
"How old are they now?" Tanya asked.
"They just turned three months on Saturday." I answered. "Their birthday is June 17."
"We're sorry we couldn't visit sooner. Carlisle's work schedule has been kind of crazy lately." Esme apoligized.
"Don't be sorry. I understand. We've been kind of busy here too. Jordan and Emma don't let us slow down." I laughed.
I noticed that Rosalie hadn't said a word since they got here. She hadn't held the kids, either. Everyone else was so eager to see and hold them. When Emmett was holding the kids, all she did was give him a sad smile and he seemed to understand what it was about.
"Do you want to hold her, Rosalie?"
"No. That's ok." she said quietly, looking down.
I wondered if I could talk to her privately later and decided that I would try later. Alice must have seen a vision because she nodded to me.
A few hours passed. The kids went to bed and the rest of us sat around talking and watching TV. The guys were playing cards in the dining room while the rest of us were in the living room watching a movie. The movie ended and I asked Rosalie if she would come outside with me to talk.
"Sure," she said in a confused tone.
She followed me outside. We walked to the end of the long driveway at a human pace in silence.I wanted some privacy and being here was better than just being right outside a house full of vampires.
"What did you want to talk to me about, Bella?" she asked.
"Rose, you're so quiet today. And... distant. You've barely said a word tonight, let alone a full sentance hardly. You won't hold the kids. What's up?"
She looked sad for a moment. She loooked up at me with apologetic eyes. "Bella, I'm sorry. I know I haven't been acting myself tonight and that I have been really distant. It's just...it's hard, I guess. Do you know any of my story?"
"No. Not any specifics. Edward only said that Carlisle found you in New York."
"Yes. That's true. My best friend's name was Vera. She married a carpenter, someone no one would have expected anyone of our class to marry. My family was high middle class, along with hers. For us, it was as if the Depression were only a trouble to the outside world. Anyway, Vera had a son. Henry was his name. Before Henry, I could see how Vera's husband looked at her with such love and adoration. I wanted a husband to come home from work and give a kiss to me. A husband that loved me. I held no envy for her then. I was only happy for her.
"Then Henry came. She had a baby and then I realized that I wanted a baby, too. I was then a bit envious of her. Envy was a new emotion for me. It was always clear that I was the favorite child between me and my two younger brothers. I was the prettiest gril in town and the men would always turn their heads towards me when I walked by. I would hear women talk about how much they wished to be me. I had everything I wanted handed right to me on a silver platter. But there was something that I wanted and that was a baby.
"I was engaged to a man named Royce King. Everything I had wanted was almost in my grasp. Royce had promised that we would have lots of babies as soon as we were married. I quickly learned that was wrong just days before the wedding. I was walking home from Vera's one night. It was so close to home and the sun had only fallen so I didn't bother to ask for an escort home.
"I was just blocks away from home when I heard them. I saw Royce and a few of his friends across the street, calling my name. They were drunk. Without going into the gory details, they raped me and left me in the street to die. Carlisle found me. When I knew what I had become, I was furious with him for taking away my humanity.
"After finding Emmett, things got better in some ways. Someone who truly loves me, wouldn't let anything happen to me.
"In other ways, it got worse. I could no longer bear children. Couldn't even dream about it at night. Emmett and I would never grow old together and watch our grandchildren in the backyeard playing. Never hear their laughter. That's why I've been like this. I have gotten over the fact that you are a vampire now and you gave up your human life. But now you have children and while they aren't your biological children," she emphasized the word. "they are children that belong to you."
"So, you've been distant because I now have children? Do you hate me because of it?"
"No. I don't hate you. I never could. At your ball, I saw Afton and Chelsea with Arianna and thought that that could be Emmett and I if we weren't the monsters we are. And earlier, when Emmett was holding the kids, I couldn't help but imagine him with our kids. It saddened me that it would never happen."
"Have you thought about adopting?" I asked.
"It wouldn't be the same, I think. I don't think adoption would ever completely fill the longing for a child."
"I'm sorry you feel that way, but you don't need to feel that way here. I'm sure it's not the same, but Jordan and Emma have the best aunts in the world with you, Alice and Tanya. I don't want you to feel envious of us. I want you to know that they are so lucky to have such a large family and that you get to be a part of it."
Rosalie turned to look at me with a smile on her face. "You really think that?"
"Yes. I really do. And I know that Emmett will be the uncle that teaches them bad things like how to stick their tounge out at Alec and I or how to get things out of the fridge when they aren't supposed to." I laughed. "You and Alice and Tanya will teach Emma how to be such the fashionista, Emmett will teach Jordan how to throw a football and Jasper will tell them how all of their history books are wrong when it comes to the Civil War. Edward will teach them how to play the piano and Carlisle will be there when they get the cold and Esme will have a plate of chocolate chip cookies waiting for them when we visit. They couldn't have any better family than this one."
Rosalie wrapped me in a tight hug. "I never meant to be this way. I was ok on the way, but after I saw Emmett with them, all of the emotions came back that I had been trying to bury on the way here. I'm so sorry."
"Don't be sorry. Let's go back to the house."