I must really love this story, don't I? ;)

36 – Lay In Ruins

Matt's been out for a jog and has been out at six and he's been back at five, he goes for a walk around the block, went to eat and had been staring at the people around him, how lovesick they are, how happy they are and he wants to shatter their happiness because he's just so broken on the inside and it's hurting him to see that people are happy but he can't be happy.

And when he goes back home and smells the scent of his house, with the hint of Jeff's yummy vanilla scent and a hint of…an unusual scent and when he walks upstairs, he hears the sound of Jeff moaning and panic arises as he opens up the door and finds Jeff and John Morrison naked on Jeff's bed, kissing and screwing around and Matt's heart might've stopped. "JEFFERY NERO HARDY! WHAT IN HELL'S NAME?!"

John hears the scream and snaps his head upwards, his long brown hair cascading past his shoulders as Matt continues to scream at him. "You don't even know him! I don't even know him! What the hell are you thinking?!"

They both pull themselves up, both of them start wearing their clothing even if Jeff doesn't need it and both of them giggle once as John Morrison walks past Matt and when John's gone, Matt stares at Jeff, glaring with horror and shock still in his eyes, "why in hell's name were you fucking him?"

"Because you don't need me around anymore! I don't have any limits, do I? You're not going to be my brother this past week and I'm going to do what I want." Jeff crosses his arms and stares at him, "why do you care? Since I'm such a druggie. I must've been screwing him around for drugs."

"Jeff, don't do this. Don't think that just because I'm leaving, you can go around and sleep with men. That'll just make you feel like a slut," Matt says with a stern voice as he walks towards Jeff, seeing that Jeff won't move and-and they're both too hurt to say a word and Jeff remembers that he just wants to feel a connection with someone, anyone, even if it's just sex and even if it's just for a little while, Jeff wants to feel like he can relate to someone and now that Matt's gone, he feels too empty and broken and he doesn't want to tell him. He just can't bare to see that smirk on Matt's face. He can't.

"Jeff?"

"…get away from me, Matt. You love making me feel worthless, don't you?" And before Matt can hug him and tell him that it's all going to be alright while Jeff takes his guitar and walks outside into the blazing, hot world around him and when he's walking by the block, he stop when he's passing Mike's house.

He's just screwed John Hennigan. One of Mike's crushes for a long, long time and now, the guilt's even worse as he knocks on the house and he waits for the woman to open the door and he's trying to forget about Matt but he can't and as Jeff walks inside of the house, searching for his faux-hawked boy sitting on the couch of the house, coloring in something and Jeff walks over to him and stares at the picture. They used to color when they were sad when they were young and seeing Mike like this, so much in pain, Jeff realizes how much they really do have in common as he sits down onto the floor and brushes his hand against Mike's cheek, "Mike?"

"Jeff," Mike manages to say his name without the anger that can't even boil in his body anymore, "look, I'm not angry that you left me for them. I'd leave me for them, too."

"Ooh, Mike, it's not like that. Listen, there's been weird stuff going around school when I joined the band, I didn't think I'd leave you. I didn't think I'd hurt you. Hell, right now, I did the last thing I think I could've—I went over to John Morrison's house and I knocked on his door until he'd open it up and I told him to come to my house and screw me if he wants to. I seduced him. That's not something I would've done before all of this and when I was done…I realized how empty I felt. How much of a slut I've truly become and when I passed by your house…God, Mike, talk to me."

"John Morrison?" Mike repeats, "As in the John Morrison that I've been trying to make a move on for the past two years of my life!"

Jeff's stomach sloshes with acid as he reluctantly nods his head, "y-y-yeah but I'm sorry, Mike. I really am. I came here just so I can hang out with you."

Mike doesn't say another word as he sulks deeply into his couch and goes back to coloring his picture, and from what Jeff could see, it's a picture of him and John Morrison and that makes Jeff want to pinch Mike's cheeks and in a while, he can't help himself but do so, Mike giggles and pushes Jeff off. "Stop that."

"No." Jeff goes back to pinching Mike's cheek and they're both laughing when Mike jumps onto Jeff's body, tackling him to the floor and both of them are laughing too hard when Jeff smiles and stands up, "I missed you, Mike."

"I missed you, Jeffy."

Both of them share a hug as Jeff's cell phone go off, playing a rap song and Jeff reaches out and realizes that he has to practice with his band right now and as Mike reads from his shoulder, Mike sighs. "Go ahead."

"You're coming with."

"Oh no," Mike says, laughing. "And tell me the details. How was he in bed? Was he any good? Were you on top? Was he on bottom?"

"…Oh boy…"

At the practice session in Cena's house, Jeff and Mike walk in only to notice that Adam's on the couch and is asleep and Chris quickly says "He's a heavy sleeper", causing both Mike and Jeff to giggle before Mike sits down on the floor, incapable of helping them since he can't play an instrument and John Cena shakes his head as he brings in a bright red tray and places it on the table and it's soon followed by him covering his face as he sneezes. Randy laughs as John sits down on a chair, and the laugh causes Randy to sneeze himself. "Oh damn," Chris responds, "At this point, we're all going to get sick. I told you two that you shouldn't be making out when one of you is sick."

"I don't listen to anyone," Randy reminds him and shakes his head, taking his microphone and placing it on the table. "So what brings Mike Mizanin here today?"

Mike stares at him, and shakes his head, "I'm just here because I want to spend time with Jeff too."

"Get out of here!"

"You're still angry about that—"

"Yes, yes, I am!"

Mike screams and stomps his foot, "I don't believe you!"

Chris takes Mike's wrist and Randy's and he pulls them both into the kitchen, and two minutes later, he slams the door shut, "Don't come out of there until you work your differences out!"

Chris walks over to Adam while Jeff looks at John Cena, "we've never talked you know?" Jeff asks, walking over to him.

"Yeah," John responds. "I know that. I know more about you than most people yet I never really talked to you."

"John, can we talk?"

"Sure."

John walks away from the living room, leaving Chris, Adam and Mike to talk as Jeff and John walk upstairs and Jeff's stomach knots acids as he thinks of Matt, over and over. "How are you and Randy?"

"Fine, I guess. I mean he's ticked off because I gave him a bug now too but he should be fine." John sneezes and he covers his face again, sniffing so that the mucus can go back into his face. "Oh, you mean you want to talk about him having HIV or something?"

"Yeah," Jeff responds, feeling as if he's gone too personal but when he sees that John's facial expression hasn't changed, he knows that John's fine with the question. "I just want to know…what did you do when you found out that Randy had HIV?"

"I didn't do anything. I just stood there and he explained everything. Truthfully, I thought it wouldn't work out—"

"Since you're normal and he isn't and you're afraid of taking this any further because you're scared of being like him…"

"You have an HIV-infected boyfriend, too that I don't know about?"

Jeff laughs and shakes his head, "no, but I used to have a relationship with a guy who was mentally handicapped. A schizophrenic."

"But I'm fine with him right now. I don't care about those things anymore, you know that feeling when—"

"You suddenly melt in his arms and the whole world doesn't matter anymore?"

"Damn, kid. Yet again you beat me." John laughs and Jeff sees that twinkle in his eyes but Jeff's still unsure if he should talk to Matt about coming back together. John and Randy are not related like they are; they're two different people that come from two different families, that haven't had the same relationship that Matt and Jeff had harbored for years and years on end before he'd fallen in love with Matt.

He's just confused.

What should he do?

He really can't do anything.

But lay in his own ruins.

...review?

X Sam.