AN: So, the next chapter is finally online. Took me long enough. We are still inside the mirror following Methys' path of events. After witnessing several past interactions between her and Ami, the Senshi get to know more about what went on behind the scenes including Ami's secrets and Methys' role in them. We continue at Ami's bedside when Methys apologizes for planning to take over Ami's body and admits towards her unconscious form that she cannot simply sacrifice her but will try to save her instead.
"To make a long story short, I am neither here to fuse with you right now, nor to bore you with my sentimental laments longer than necessary. I am here to tell you that I have not given up on you. I will try to save you, Ami and you need to be ready when the time comes. I am counting on you. Well,… that's all for now. We will see each other then. Now, you need to excuse me, there is something else I am here to do this night. Until later… little one."
When she straightened up from her crouching posture her gaze seemed to part from Ami's form only reluctantly. However, she turned away from her and concentrated her attention on the rest of the room.
In the meantime, Michiru could barely rein in her overwhelming excitement. Her heart danced in her chest and her eyes were glued to Mercury's now moving form. She could barely believe what she just heard.
Methys couldn't do it. She had a plan to save her. Ami might be still alive somehow.
There was still a chance to get her back.
She exchanged eager glances with the others and could see the same sparkle of hope ignited in their eyes that was probably glowing in her own. Usagi radiated a wave of teary relief and Makoto looked as if somebody smacked her on the head, entirely gob smacked. Minako fidgeted with bubbly unctuousness and it showed how much it cost her to keep her mouth shut.
For a moment Michiru had to restrain herself from not getting too excited. Those were great news, yes, and she couldn't be gladder that Methys' fondness for Ami hindered her to actually carry out her initial plan. However, she had also said her new plan was risky, that there was no guarantee for success. In fact, they did not even know what said plan entailed. Could they really risk getting their hopes up? What if her plan had failed the same way as beating Kato did? What if she couldn't carry it out to completion before she was almost killed by him? What if the chance of saving Ami already passed without them knowing?
After all, when Kato was unconscious during their fight, they asked her about Ami's fate. Back then she literally said she was gone.
Was that the truth or did she just not know any better at that time? Was it just another lie, another one of her statements with hidden meaning? Did she refrain from telling them about the possibility of her being still alive for some dubious reasons? Or were they back to the initial outcome against all odds?
On second thought…
What did she mean with the word 'gone'?
Gone as in dead? Gone as in 'not here anymore'?
Back then, those words had only meant one thing. Now, she wasn't so sure anymore.
Even those simple words were ambiguous, just like almost everything else she has ever said.
She did not really know what to believe anymore.
Maybe they just grasped at straws. Maybe nothing changed after all.
They would be even more devastated to fathom that terrible fact for a second time. And still… the possibility was there. This part of her plan might have succeeded, when everything else failed. They could only hope. What was the alternative? Returning to that dark abyss of guilt, blame, grief and anger, they already drowned in before?
Not with the knowledge they had now.
Not when it could be the lifeline, they so desperately had been looking for.
Michiru forced herself out of her musings. It cost her a great deal of willpower to focus on something else. However, she had no choice. She needed to see what else Methys was doing. It must be important. They were seeing these memories for a reason and right now it dawned on her what this reason might be. She needed to pay attention. After all, Methys had announced towards Ami she had something else to do, didn't she? What was that supposed to be?
Right now, the Ice Senshi was slowly walking through the silent room, around the sleeping forms of their past selves. She gauged each of them carefully. However, her footsteps carried her to the far end of the room and Michiru realized with a pang of surprise that her former self and Haruka seemed to be her targets.
She held her breath when the Ice Senshi kneeled in front of their sleeping forms. She reached out her hand and Michiru gasped, when she realized that her interest was concentrated on Michiru's Henshin Stick that was lying between her neatly stacked clothes, right next to her.
When she touched it, the Neptunian Henshin Stick glowed in a turquoise hue, emitted some light pulses and the next second it vanished completely. All of this was accompanied by a small smile on the Ice Senshi's lips.
Michiru's jaw dropped. What the hell was she doing? And where did her Henshin Stick vanish to? She had it when she awakened the next morning and she still had it now. Otherwise they wouldn't be here in the depth of her mirror. However, it clearly reacted upon the Ice Senshi's presence. Was that some kind of activation? It had never done something like that with Michiru herself before. So, what was the meaning behind all of this?
She suddenly remembered when Mercury extracted the memory from Ami's fight with those thugs in the warehouse. She had known how to handle the Neptunian talisman and now upon close contact with her, her Henshin Stick did… that…?!
She was my cousin. Michiko's cousin. The cousin of the former Sailor Neptune.
Maybe the Stick knows that.
Maybe…
Michiru had no time to ponder further about these vague theories. Methys had just left the room and with her departure their surroundings dissolved again into swirling blurs.
She did not have to wait long before their living room took on form around them. Michiru looked around and spotted the Mercurian Senshi sitting on a chair. Right next to her on the table surface, something glowed in turquoise, while the rest of the room was still drenched in darkness. It made an eerie picture.
Curiously, Michiru stepped forward and recognized the glowing item immediately.
It wasn't her Henshin Stick.
It was her talisman.
The turquoise light was emitted by the mirror; in fact, it came right out of the surface, where for a normal mirror the reflecting glass would be.
"Welcome." Methys spoke, jolting Michiru abruptly out of her thoughts.
Everyone turned around trying to find out, whom she was talking to this time. However, no matter how hard they looked, they were alone with her.
She simply continued, intertwining her fingers on the table. "This must be confusing to you, but yes, I am indeed talking to the current Senshi of this time. Well, to be honest I am more talking to myself right now, because I am pretty much alone in this room, but you are the ones supposed to listen to these memories and from your perspective we will be all together in this room. It sounds more complicated than it actually is. Basically, you are watching a record of things that happened in the past. All you have seen so far, are records of my own memories. Memories of certain events I particularly chose for you to witness. And this…" She made a weak encompassing gesture. "This is a bit different. What you see right now is not only a replay of something that happened to me in the past, no I specifically made it happen just for you to see… to pass on a message to you. You cannot ask me any questions in here, because I am not truly present. I am just a shadow of the past, although technically I have been that right from the beginning, haven't I?" She paused briefly with a bittersweet smile on her face.
"Well, I should stick to the essential points instead of turning this into a philosophical paradox… As you might have concluded from your previous experience of diving into Ami's failed crimefighting attempt, the Neptunian talisman is responsible for our little gathering here. What you are seeing right now is just another memory I intentionally recorded with the help of the Mirror of Lagesh for you to see. Remember, I told you about the power of the mirror. I told you that Neptune's talisman can extract memories and reveal the truth to whatever question the user asks as long as the answers are within reach. However, I left one ability out of the list of what it can do or rather I did not specify in detail... In addition, the mirror can also record memories of the user for later replay. The difference and great advantage to what you already experienced is, that the donor of these memories does not need to be there, when you view them. So, whatever circumstances turn to reality at the end, I can still use the mirror to leave you this message, you are hearing right now. Even in case I am dead, especially in case I am dead, you can still hear this."
She smiled weakly. "Back when I introduced the mirror's working to you, you already insinuated my ulterior motives. And indeed, you were correct, I showed you on purpose, how to use it, so that you would rely on its powers, when the need arose. I anticipated that if things went wrong in any way, I would probably leave you behind with loads of questions and an enemy you know next to nothing about with no way to defeat. The very fact that you are listening to this record, proves that things went indeed wrong. In fact, it can only mean one thing. I am in some way unable to provide any knowledge you seek, so you were forced to seek out the mirror's abilities instead of asking me directly. This leaves two scenarios: I died while fighting Laertes or I am at least injured enough to not be able to provide any answers to your questions. Ideally, I managed to take him out anyway, however in the worst-case scenario he is still on the loose, I am gone and I … failed utterly." She made a depressing pause.
"Well I won't lament about my own demise, I knew the risks and whatever of the above-mentioned scenarios came true, there is only one thing that matters. Laertes must be stopped. For that very purpose I prepared this recording as a backup plan. That's why I kinda borrowed your Neptune's Henshin Stick to summon her talisman. That's the reason why I am now sitting here and that's why all of you ended up in the depth of the mirror. Your Neptune did not notice any of that until now, because I plan to give the talisman and Henshin Stick back to her as soon as I finished with this … endeavor. So, she will not even have noticed that it vanished temporarily, when she wakes up tomorrow.
When your Neptune activated the mirror prior to you ending up here, she probably asked a question, which I am pretty sure, you still have no appropriate answer for. Well to put it bluntly, you won't get one, for now. I have tasked the mirror with showing you my memories first. No matter what your initial question was, upon your very first request, my records are replayed. You already asked me, why I am able to do that, why I can use the Neptunian talisman, although I am not the Neptunian Senshi. Well, if Laertes did not already brag about it, I have a special connection to the late Neptunian Senshi, one that allows the mirror to listen to my commands second to hers. It will be explained later on, when we come to that point, if you do not already know. For now, you have already seen snippets out of my own and Ami's shared past. Although most of these insights are not really required for defeating Laertes, I felt obliged to let you know those things. She ... wanted you to know. And if she can't tell you personally anymore, well, I felt at least obliged to let you know this way." She made a pause.
"Additionally,… there were just too many questions, accusations and unsolved matters between us, that if ignored, would only fuel your distrust towards me. I know you probably consider me a lying bitch. It's not that I don't deserve it, in fact keeping you in the dark was not the nicest thing to do, but well… I think you do know by now, why I had to do it. You would have done everything in your power to stop me, you would have never been willing to go along with the required sacrifices, which is by the way something I am grateful for, although it complicated matters on my end tremendously. Even If I failed to beat Laertes, I hope every one of you is well and I could at least keep up that part of my promise to Ami. I also ask you to understand that whatever happened … I am not your enemy. I have never been, although our interactions have become quite frosty at the end. All I did was to ensure your safety, what I deemed necessary to keep you away from him."
She hesitated. "I might have gotten a bit carried away in the end, I admit that. And… before I go into detail with everything else, I want to use this opportunity to apologize for every kind of trouble I caused and for whatever will still come to pass. I for sure am not always such an ass… at least for most of the time. To be fair, we did not exactly meet under the best circumstances, far from it to be honest… and maybe after you have seen what I want to show you, you will see that this whole... situation was even more difficult for me than you can imagine." The following break insinuated reluctance and somewhat insecurity, as if she wasn't sure whether she should explain more. At the end she decided against it.
"So, now that this is hopefully no longer an issue between us, you might be more prone to listen to what else I have to say. I want to explain further what I intend to show you. In fact, I can only imagine how many and which questions you have, but I am pretty sure they primarily focus on two topics: the Silver Millennium and Ami.
I will start with the first. I am pretty sure Laertes boasted of lots of taunts, provocations and jibes. Although I will try my best to keep every single one of you away from the final fight, some of you might have heard certain things. Together with what you already suspected about me, the picture you get, is probably not very consistent with what you have been told about the Silver Millennium. I wish I could tell you he is lying, but that would be pretty presumptuous of me, when I don't even know yet what he is claiming. However, I have a pretty good idea. And… I am afraid at the same time I know, that the way you picture the Silver Millennium is indeed not accurate. I know what you have been told… I know what Queen Serenity said... I have been there with Ami on the Moon as well, after all. To say first things first, the Queen did not lie to you. She just left out some fundamental parts, whitewashed others and stayed vague on purpose. Back then, her reservation was not motivated by ill will or to deceive you. It was solely done to protect you from knowledge that might have been disastrous at that time point with you being still that young and already facing the Negaverse. To be honest I am still not eager to share these things about the past with you now, you should have gotten as much from my conversations with Ami… However, this is no longer a matter of choice. It has become a necessity for you to know more about the Silver Millennium. You need to know about Laertes and you need to know about your predecessors. I might have done my very best to shield you from the truth, but from now on this tactic will be more detrimental to you than helping. With Laertes in the picture too much has already been revealed and if I am not able to stop him on my own, if you need to face him, then you need to be prepared. At least, that is my opinion and the only conclusion; I can draw at this time point. It's the only way you might manage to beat him, especially if I am gone. If I am gone then this is the only thing, I can do to further help you. That's why I have more memories in store for you, especially about the beginnings of the Silver Millennium. You can watch them after I am finished with this long-assed monologue. Your Sailor Neptune just has to voice the words 'How it all begun' to the mirror and it will transport you right into the very first memory.
I have to point out, it is your decision whether you want to watch them or not and all of you have to touch the mirror if the answer is 'yes'. I also want to remind you that these are my personal memories, they are subjective, biased and authentic and I did change neither details nor larger parts. I always behaved appropriate to the situation back at that time, even if later on or nowadays I might see things completely different or regret certain actions. And…" She exhaled a weary sigh making a face. "I was young. So, cut me some slack, if some things are not to your liking. Having you in my head for sure wasn't my first choice either and some of those experiences I would have rather preferred keeping to myself due to its personal nature." She scowled shortly clearly unhappy with the situation. "Well, I can't afford that luxury any longer. For years I tried to play the cards close to my chest. I guess it's time now, to lay them into the open no matter how little I like the idea.
Anyway, back to the point… you can of course also refuse to watch these memories, which I would strongly recommend, in case Laertes poses no problem any longer. Believe me your life is fine right now, you don't need to bother with the past, if it's not strictly necessary. I told that Ami a thousand times already, and unfortunately, I can only assume you lot share her relentless stubbornness on the matter. So, the offer still stands, although your natural curiosity will most likely rule out that option pretty quickly. Not to mention I am afraid the initial fairytale fed to you has lost its appeal, when it already sports cracks beyond repair, has it not? Anyway, remember, it's your choice. Think carefully, whether you truly want to know.
If you need time to decide, if you want breaks in between to discuss the memories that is all up to you. The mirror is like a huge archive. If you know what you are looking for and it's stored in here you just need the correct key word under which the memory was filed to find it. Time will pass slower here and you will lose almost none in the real world, while you are here. Additionally, you can stay here in a place I call "The void" to deliberate on everything or return to the real world. That is up to you. For the first, use "void" for the latter "exit" as command. However, if you chose to go back to real life, I have to insist on one fundamental point: do not engage him under any circumstances!" The request was sharp, almost desperate.
"Laertes is dangerous. If you have come in contact with him, you should have realized that by now. If you are not prepared sufficiently, he will reduce you to minced meat. That much I can assure you. You are not strong enough to best him. Not, yet. So evade him, hide, stay out of his way, do whatever you need to do to avoid a direct confrontation, when you are not ready for it. Even if the world needs you, do not act rashly. If you are dead, you can help no one. So, be patient. Finish looking at the memories first and then I ask you to go to the moon. Talk to Queen Serenity. You can find her spirit where you already found her the last time, when she told you first about the Silver Millennium. As the last well … for lack of a better term let's call it 'survivor' of the Silver Millennium, she will hopefully be able to help you in my absence or at least she can devise a plan against him together with you. There is something else I need to mention about Laertes. I do not know all there is to know about him. Even when I died back then, there remained a lot of blank spots concerning his… motivation. I… I cannot tell you, what… made him… what he is. I can only tell you… so much. Again maybe Queen Serenity will be of help, although I cannot promise you that. However, consult her. Whatever weakness you may find about him, use it against him. And… " She hesitated before her tone got dead serious.
"… with use it against him… I mean kill him! I know it goes against your morals. I know you typically try to find the light in your adversaries, your Serenity in particular. That won't work with him. Believe me I have tried, there is no good left in him. If there was, he would have listened to me. Instead he killed me. So please, do not show mercy to him. It will be your death, … the same as it was mine. I wanted to avoid passing that burden on to you, but apparently this ship has set sails. If I failed, you are Earth's last defense."
"For that purpose, I will give you back, what I have likely taken from you: Your Henshin Sticks and the Silver Crystal. If everything went according to plan, your Neptune should be the only one I let keep hers in order to enable her to activate this message. The others I have secured so that they do not fall into his hands and to prevent you from interfering in a fight, you are not equipped for. I hid them in a space pocket and you triggering this conversation will set them free. You will have them back as soon as you leave the sphere of the mirror. You need them to beat Laertes, but be cautious with them. Laertes will try to get them to take revenge on your predecessors and to destroy the legacy of the Senshi that still lives on in you once and for all. So, protect them well."
"Well, now there is this second topic I know you are probably more than eager to discuss: It's Ami. From the last memory you know at the end I decided against … sacrificing her. So, I can already anticipate the question you want to have answered most. Is she dead? I am afraid I do not know. As you have heard, I devised a plan to save her, but I do not know, whether it succeeded. If I managed to reach the state when I have taken over her body, the rest was totally up to her. However, there is one thing I know for sure. In order to find out whether Ami is still alive, you need to retrieve the Mercurian Henshin Stick. Currently, Laertes has it. You have chased it all this time and for some time I still harbored the hope that he did not keep it and that it ended up somewhere else, but to be honest this hope was foolish. Now, I am almost 100% sure he has it. He must have picked it up at the crime scene, since his host is one of the police officers investigating this robbery case, Ami stumbled into. From the beginning my plan included switching places for me and Ami. The same way my soul was previously anchored to the Mercurian Henshin Stick, hers could be as well for the time being, when I am occupying her body. That way there is no need for me to overpower her soul to get control over her body. The only problem I ever had with that plan was that I did not have the Stick. So, when I asked you to retrieve it, it wasn't supposed to be a senseless goose chase to keep you occupied. Not entirely. I truly needed it back to reestablish the status quo between Ami and I. Doing that would have renewed my strength. I could have switched with her, healed her body and she would have been safe within the Henshin Stick until the fight between Laertes and I ended. Had we found it, it would have been for Ami's benefit, so what I told you was no lie. However, all this time the Stick stayed out of my reach and my soul got weaker and weaker. Time was running out. The longer I waited the more my chances dwindled to make the takeover of her body successful.
I told you before I could not return to my Henshin Stick as long as it wasn't in close proximity and the same was true for the switch-of-places-plan. So, the only option was waiting for Laertes to show up with it. It needed all three of us roughly in one place for this plan to work. I anyway knew he would find me at some point, so it was only a question of waiting. And I just hoped the wait would not be too long. However, waiting was not all I did. It was me who suggested sending the Martian to the police interrogation as Ami's replacement. It pains me to admit it, but you were bait. I knew he wanted me and to lure him on my trail, I presented him the connection, he was looking for. He knew the Martian wasn't me, but at the same time he knew, I was somewhere in reach. I knew his desire to catch me first would be greater than his ambitions to destroy the world. He is the type who wants his enemy witnessing his triumph. He basks in his little games and having me in front row seats, when he destroys the world would have been the ice on his cake. Baiting him like this led him right to you and as a consequence to me. Unfortunately, I had to expect you to be caught in the crossfire as well, hence I chose to take your Henshin Sticks and chose to detain you on the other side of the space portal, your Pluto created on my account. Pluto's gates are always primed to work only for the people of her choice. So, I knew a person she would consider a stranger at that time, would not be able to follow you. So, you would be safe there.
I hope at least that part went according to plan and he did show up with the Henshin Stick. I am afraid there is the miniscule probability that he destroyed it, although if I assessed him correctly, he won't do that, but rather keep it as some kind of trophy. Especially since he does not know that it is more than the previous vessel for my soul. So, the idea behind all of this was to wait with taking over Ami's body until it was in close proximity, so that her soul can take residue in the Henshin Stick, when I needed to throw her out of her own body. I can only hope it happened that way. However, even if it did, the plan has also some severe disadvantages. Number one, taking over costs me a great deal of magical power. Power, I won't have at my disposal, when I need to fight Laertes. Second, her body needs to be healed. I can manage that but again at the cost of power. Number three, even if you leave out the loss of magical power, I don't think I will be at full fighting capability. The reason for that is, that my soul needs time to adept to this new body. Time I won't have with the current plan, but time he had abundantly with his host. Then, there is still the risk that he destroys the Henshin Stick in our struggle to come. I will do my best to get it back, but more important than that is not to draw attention to it. He can't know what he is holding there in his hands, that there might be still a soul residing in it. If he does, he will destroy it out of sheer spite or use it as leverage against us. So, when you try to retrieve it, be careful about it.
There is one more thing you need to know. In case I am dead but won the fight and Ami managed to complete the transfer to the stick, you still have a separate pretty much dead body and a soul anchored to a magical item, but not the unit they have been before. Well, there is a way to solve this problem. Your Serenity's Silver Crystal also has the ability to conserve Ami's dead body, in a similar way you have seen during your trip to the future with the future Inner Senshi of that time. In crystal. Do that for the time being and as soon as you have the Mercurian Henshin Stick back consult Queen Serenity again. She should be able to help you to put everything back together the way it belonged. Also… in case that works and I am still dead, I also have a private message for Ami stored in here. It's for her ears only and she can activate it with the very first words she ever said to me.
Well, I guess that's it for now. I will leave you to yourselves now, and you can discuss how to proceed in the void or you can leave the sphere of the mirror altogether. I am pretty sure some of you are more than eager to run their mouths again. In case you don't return here to watch the memories or I forget to mention later on, it… it was a pleasure meeting you, despite our differences and the quite tedious time we spent together. I know I am not entirely blameless in this matter… well actually it is my fault that things got out of hand that much. I might have promised Ami to behave the first time we meet, but I guess that kinda backfired completely without her acting as a buffer between us. I could blame the circumstances… my admittedly eccentric and difficult character or our failure to build up the required trust between us. There is plenty that went wrong, but does it really matter anymore? It's too late to change what has transpired. That ship has sailed. We have to live with the outcome. I just want you to know that you are doing fine, as Senshi and as people. I might have been a bit overbearing and critical in my behavior, but that does not mean that I disapprove of what you have accomplished as Senshi. On the contrary, your somewhat naïve optimism and steadfast belief to change the world with dreams, ideals and sheer willpower alone, reminded me of myself, when I was younger. Admittably, a reminder that was most unwelcome at that time. It also didn't help that every time I looked into one of your faces, I expected to see someone else. All of you look so much like them and still you aren't." The underlying sadness in those words was apparent as well as her effort to get those feelings under control. She somewhat managed, although there were still traces, she simply could not suppress.
Well, what I want to say is…" She suddenly smiled sheepishly. "I… wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors. Do trust in yourselves and follow your own paths, but never forget, you are a team. Appreciate those who walk at your side. Together you are strong and those precious bonds between you will get you wherever you want to go. You can be better Senshi than we ever were… just believe in each other…and… I cannot believe I am actually quoting your Serenity, but hell she was right with one thing: you truly need courage to dream, just like she said. I know you have that, so, make yours a reality… well…" Her pause appeared almost embarrassed "That's it for now."
Her head was lowered when the light Neptune's mirror emitted slowly dimmed.
The already familiar sensation of her surroundings dissolving into blurs, engulfed Michiru, but this time she hardly noticed. Her mind was still reeling with everything Methys said. So many details. So many instructions. And a sappy ending she had not expected. It all formed a knot in her head and she was overstrained with untangling the whole bundle bit by bit. It was laborious and tiring and she didn't have enough time or energy to sort the mess.
The location had already changed again.
And this time only one pristine color surrounded her.
White.
Michiru could not stand it. The vast emptiness surrounding her. It was cold. It was dead. It was everywhere. It frightened her. It implied that she was only one grain of sand in the desert, one water droplet in the ocean, one single star in the endless universe.
An insignificant being in a world far too big for her.
A random particle that is thrown around by the whim of fate.
And then it had to be white. That wasn't even a color. It was a state. It was a lie. It was ambiguity.
The epitome of purity and innocence. Too clean. Too simple.
It was unfitting.
Nothing could be further away from the situation they were in. Everything was a mess: their past, the former Senshi, their friendship with Ami…
Michiru hated it and before she even thought about consulting the others, she uttered one single word, astonished how raw her own voice rasped in her throat, when she could not truly hear the sound of it: "Exit."
It worked instantly, just as Methys promised.
That terrifying white was gone and Michiru let go a relieved sigh.
When she was finally back next to the hospital bed that hoisted Ami's prone form, she barely reacted. A glance sideways revealed three Henshin Sticks and the Silver Crystal lying on her bedside. Those items would be never again what they have been before. Michiru was glad it wasn't hers. She honestly didn't know, whether she would have taken it back. Even Hotaru, Setsuna and Makoto appeared reluctant to touch them. And Usagi studied the brooch in her hand with a forlorn look before she stashed it away unceremoniously, not the least bit delighted to hold it in her hands. Makoto shortly looked at her Henshin Stick as if it offended her, Hotaru turned it curiously as if she saw it for the first time and Setsuna just stashed it away, the quickness of the motion betraying her conflicted feelings as well.
While doing so none of them uttered a word.
It was eerily silent.
The desperate need to talk to the others was surprisingly absent now. All Michiru wanted right now was to be engulfed by Haruka's strong arms buried under some blankets with nothing but comforting silence between them and the prospect of languid sweet idleness.
I so long for this to be finally over.
Instead it only begun.
This is another crisis of monumental enormity and like always we are right in the middle of it.
Their little cocoon of peace was gone now and it wouldn't simply return on its own. Not before they clawed through a mountain of hardships to make it return.
I am so tired of shouldering the fate of the world. I just want to have a boring normal life.
You can't. This is not the time to hole up in some artificial comfort. Your time to rest is not yet here. You have to earn it.
Michiru just stood, where she stood. That was all energy she could muster. All will she could focus. And it was not enough for words. She just stood there right next to everyone else and no one knew what to say, where to begin, how to proceed. It was as if everyone waited for someone else to finally initiate… something.
The result was silence... and stares.
Makoto and Usagi stared at their injured friend with unreadable expressions.
Rei, Makoto and Haruka stared only to the floor.
Setsuna, Minako and Hotaru only stared ahead, but their eyes were far away.
And Michiru did all three of these things. Her mind was blank, overloaded with information, with problems to solve, with feelings that contradicted each other and her brain apparently chose to shut down completely, to allow herself the semblance of a timeout.
It was Rei who spoke out first in rather calm way that betrayed the content of her words. "I really would like to smash something. Does anybody else feel the same adamant urge?"
Minako's eyes still stared ahead, when she commented airily. "Something big and fragile that ends up in many … many… tiny … splinters…"
"I want to hear it shatter…" Michiru added automatically, before even thinking it through. Her mind was so tired of thinking, so she just uttered nonsense. She didn't care one bit.
Out of her own accord Setsuna handed Michiru a bedpan, which lay around nearby.
Michiru looked at her, completely at a loss what she was supposed to do with it, her confusion clearly mirrored on her face.
"It makes the appropriate noise." Setsuna explained, shrugging once. "And we can reuse it for the others, since we don't have that many items that break satisfactorily."
Trust Setsuna to approach everything with her practical way of thinking…
Michiru looked at her as if she lost her mind. Then her eyes wandered to the offered bedpan.
On second thought… what harm would be a bit more craziness? It won't hurt to give it a try…
She accepted the fortunately clean device, gained momentum and smashed it with all her might at the wall that already sported a huge hole where Usagi and the others freed themselves out of the frozen anteroom.
It bounced off and clanged loudly, so much that her ears ringed in liberating protest. There was a decent dent in the drywall as well.
Above the expectation…
"I am next." Rei voiced immediately.
"I probably tear up a new hole, but who cares." Makoto looked at the wall as if it personally offended her.
"Then let's make it a Swiss cheese. I am definitely ready to cause some lasting damage." Minako cracked her joints in preparation.
"I also want to throw it!" Hotaru chipped in enthusiastically.
And thus they took turns.
Haruka was suspiciously quiet, but upon her throw she left the biggest dent so far, which caused Makoto to frown. The two hardest to convince to give it a try were Usagi and Setsuna. Their princess was first slightly put off by what there were doing, sunken in her own depression and for once not up to any dillydallying. With a considerable amount of pestering she finally gave in and after the first time she was entirely in for the contest of who made the biggest hole with the loudest clang.
Setsuna was also forced to participate, since the whole thing was virtually her idea. Apparently, the concept of participating hadn't crossed her mind when she first offered the bedpan. With a suffering look she managed a half-heartened throw that wasn't even halfway up of their self-invented scale, while trying to keep up as much of dignity you could keep, when you were throwing around a bedpan and made a competition out of it.
At the end Rei won for the loudest clang and Haruka for the most brutal dent. The racer seemed to be not really satisfied by it and did not even comment her win. It seemed the only reason she took part was to vent off her frustration, but she was not interested in any banter that arose. In fact she did not talk much at all, and especially Makoto still made a wide birth around her.
None of them had forgotten their rather violent argument.
When the commotion died down a bit, the atmosphere appeared somewhat lighter.
This silly game solved nothing, but at the end all of them had needed to let lose somehow.
And if it was childish antics they needed then so be it. It has always been this way after all. Sometimes to keep sane you had to do what other people might consider insane. Sometimes it was the only way to lift burdens and somehow find the strength and spirit to deal with the rocky path ahead of you. The Inners were all too familiar with this concept. The Outers learned more and more of the benefits to take things from time to time not as serious as you should.
That was the reason all of them participated.
None of them realized that they had a silent spectator.
In fact, they had completely forgotten her.
And while all of them used the reprieve to blank out the pressure, stress, and emotional turmoil, Kaya Mizuno looked on with utter lack of understanding. During the contest she had kept quiet. Only her frown had deepened with every single throw.
"I should have never considered you as anything else than children." The single lowly voiced comment made everyone startle to attention and brutally ripped them out of their world of banter.
"Dr. Mizuno?" It was Usagi who squeaked her name in utter surprise. "You are awake?"
AN: Well, that's another chapter done. Lately, I am a bit behind in my schedule, so again my apologies for the long wait. This chapter will be the last mirror experience chapter for now. And well, they were really difficult to write, since I had to connect them to what happened previously (in this case Chapter 18) without making you as the readers see it coming back then. To me Methys' backup plan kinda makes sense. I thought that someone as organized as her would plan in advance in case of a possible defeat (which wasn't too unlikely at that point) and the mirror was the perfect way to get certain information across. The Senshi have to face some decisions and discussions now, which will be part of the main focus of the next chapter. Until then I can only thank you for your continued support and your patience.