A/N...Well I almost ended the story with this chapter or rather a chapter I had written to be this chapter and my friend Anne talked me out of it. I'm going to keep going for a little bit..but sorry guys it does have to come to an end at some point :(

Thanks Anne!

No copyright intended..I just LOVE me some SOA! I own nothing!

It takes me all of about an hour and 10 shots of tequila to get the stone cold look I saw on Tara's face out of my head. What am I going to do? Standing up from my spot at the bar, I have to brace myself or fall over. I stumble over to where a few of the guys are playing pool. Bobby starts laughing at me.

¡°Rough day, aye?"

I don't trust my mouth to speak so I nod. Thank God for the pool table holding me up or I'd be on the floor. I stumble over to the couch and fall back onto it, watching the guys continue to play their game. Leaning back, I prop my feet up on the arm. Pulling my knife out from its holster, I run my fingers along its dull top side edge looking at my wavy self in the reflection. I look fucked up, kind of like my life is right now. A few crow eaters walk in and make their way over to the pool table. That's it for that game. Looking around, I see a dark haired crow eater. Hmm, I guess it's time to move on. Sitting up slowly as to keep the spinning in my head to a minimum I push myself up off the couch and stumble over to Suzy.

¡°Hey Darlin, you looking for someone?"

She looks at me with a smile, it's not Tara's smile but what do I care?

¡°Just you Jax, just you."

I grab her hand and pull her back to my room, closing the door and locking it. I move to take off my cut but she asks me to keep it on.

¡°Something about a man in SAMCRO leather that makes him even hotter.."

She unzips my pants, palming my dick. Next thing I know she's on her knees with her mouth around my cock. Licking and sucking, rolling her tongue on its tip. I yank her head away by her hair. This isn't what I want. Pushing her back, she falls onto the bed. I don't even bother taking my pants down. I rip her pants off and shove her underwear down. I ram myself into her over and over. I don't know if her screams are pleasure or pain and I don't much care. When I'm finished, I tell her to get her nasty crow eating ass up out of my bed. She gets dressed, turning as if to ask me a question. I glare at her and she thinks better of it. Wrapping her arms around herself she leaves, closing the door behind her.

If I didn't feel like shit before, I sure do now. Getting up quickly I run to the bathroom, throwing up all the tequila and wishing I could throw up all the guilt I feel. What the hell am I doing? Not even 48 hours ago, I made Tara my damned old lady now I'm fucking some crow eater. How did it all go south? I rinse my mouth out and stumble back to the bed. My last thought before passing out is about how I'm going to get Tara to stay.

¡ ...

Groaning, I wake up and roll over. What the fuck happened last night? Thinking back, I remember laying on the couch watching the boys play pool and after that it's one hell of a blank slate. Sitting up, my head pounds. Great, a fucking hang over. Takes me a minute to realize why I have this hang over. Tara's dad, jail, ex ol' lady. Slowly I make my way over to the bathroom. While I'm taking a piss, I look into the trash. A condom sits there. Oh no. I didn't. Oh shit I must have! Groaning again, I flush the toilet and walk over to the sink. I look in the mirror and barely recognize the person I see. I brush my teeth. At least that takes the horrible taste out of my mouth. Thank God I have a shower in my

bathroom. Stripping down, I step into the hot spray, scrubbing and trying to wash away all the bad from yesterday. I stand there until the water turns cold. Wrapping the towel around my waist, I walk over to grab new clothes for the day out of my dresser. Opening the drawer, the first thing I see is one of Tara's shirts. I ball it up and throw it across the room. God damn it! Seeing that shirt just makes me realize even more how much I fucked up! Getting dressed, I strap on my gun and my knife and put on my cut. I feel like shit. I know I need to go see Tara but it's probably best if I don't. I don't really know what to say to her right now. I'm angry and me angry isn't a good thing. I'm really hoping all the guys are still passed out from the night before. I don't want to hear anything about me and that stupid fucking crow eater. Agh I grab my cologne bottle and throw it across the room. It bursts into about a thousand fucking pieces. Jesus Christ, I'm losing it here! Someone knocks on the door.

¡°Jax baby, you ok in there?"

I walk over clicking the lock off.

¡°Ya Ma, I'm just pissed is all. I fucked up things with Tara and now Opie says he overheard Tara telling Donna she's leaving to go to college."

I see Gemma smirk.

¡°Didn't think that little bitch would stick."

Gemma looks around sniffing the air.

¡°Huh, you should throw cologne more often. Smells better than the pussy and dirty socks that's the norm for around here."

I laugh.

¡°Thanks Ma. Hey you wanna go grab some breakfast?"

She shakes her head.

¡°Nah I should cook something up for the guys. Just stick around here I'll make ya something baby."

I lean in and kiss her on the cheek.

¡°Thanks Ma. You're the best."

She smiles.

¡°Don't you ever forget that shit either!"

Leave it to Ma to always be able to cheer me up. I'm not feeling as murderous as I was a few minutes ago. I figure that maybe I'll catch some breakfast and work for a little while. Maybe lunch time, I'll head out and see if Tara will talk to me. I walk out my door closing it and locking it behind me. Don't want those fuckers messing with my shit. When I get out to the main room it's still pretty quiet, no one's around except Opie.

¡°I figured you'd be up any time now. I see you've got Mom cooking breakfast. Better than the shit I was going to get down at the gas station."

I nod. I don't know what to say to Op really. I know Tara probably stayed the night at his place but I don't want to ask. Almost as if reading my mind Opie starts to talk again.

¡°So...Tara slept on my couch last night. I think she thought everyone went to bed but I hadn't fallen asleep yet. I heard her crying. She might be mad at you and all but I'm pretty sure she still loves you."

Fuck! That piece of news doesn't make me feel any better. Here my girl was crying on my best friend's couch while I'm at the clubhouse fucking a crow eater.

¡°Man Op, I fucked up last night."

Opie looks at me shaking his head.

¡°Don't tell me you did a crow eater. Brother, you really are sabotoging your life, aren't you?"

I put my hands in my pockets and let my head hang.

¡°Ya I really stepped in the shit this time. Don't tell Donna please! Tara can't know. Shit Op I was so drunk I didn't even know until I spotted the rubber in the damn garbage this morning. I was puking my fucking guts up man, that's how wasted I was!"

Opie laughs.

¡°You, puking? Just how much did you drink?"

I chuckle and tell him I drank about a half bottle of tequila.

¡°Oh shit, not my old man's tequila!"

I nod.

¡°Pop's gonna fucking skin you alive for that, Brother. You know how he is about his tequila. No one and I mean no one touches it!"

As if on cue, Piney walks in taking note of the empty tequila bottle on the bar. He walks over and holds it out in front of him almost as if he's not believing what he sees.

¡°Who the fuck is brave enough to drink all my tequila?"

Op and I look at him and shrug our shoulders.

¡°I think Juice drank it. Ya, it was Juice. I saw him with the bottle last night."

Piney growls and stalks off, probably to look for Juice. Op and I bust out laughing. Juice isn't going to know what's hit him! Feeling better about the day, I hear Gemma bring out breakfast. She's got eggs and bacon and toast already on a plate for me. Ther's nothing like being mamma's boy.

I give her a huge grin and dig in. Opie throws his hands up..

¡°Hey Mom, where's mine?"

Gemma smiles.

¡°Get your own Op, last I checked my crow eating days were over!"

Op stutters and stammers but is laughing the whole time.

¡°Thanks for cooking, Gem. I really do appreciate it."

She nods and heads out the door, I'm guessing to the TM office. Today's looking up, now if I can just figure out how to keep my girl everything would be back to normal.