Hi everyone! Thanks for all your reviews on the last chapter! It is tough to write these chapters where Finchel (in canon) weren't really talking, but next chapter begins when the show allowed Finchel to start going back to each other, so I'm really excited for that! This episode didn't have much of either Rachel or Finn, but I did add on some scenes I think would have made sense for them as individuals. Enjoy and review if you want me to continue.

Chapter 38: Sexy

"Why were you spending so much time with Rachel at that party?" Quinn asked. "I thought you and I were together! You shouldn't have tried to get with me if you just want to get back with her."

"Look, I'm sorry," Finn said. "Besides, aren't we kind of keeping this private?" Finn knew why he'd started dating Quinn again. He thought it would help him get over Rachel. The truth was, every time he made out with Quinn, he pictured Rachel in her place.

"Why do we have to keep this private?" Quinn asked. "We're going to be prom king and queen. You're the quarterback, I'm the prettiest girl at school. It shouldn't be difficult."

Finn knew why he wanted to keep this quiet. He knew it was going to break Rachel's heart. "Why not keep it quiet?"

"Do you want to be with me or not?" Quinn asked. "Now, tell me why you don't want to tell people."

Finn had to think fast. "Won't it upset Sam? You were just with him."

"No," Quinn said. "Haven't you noticed that Sam's with Santana now?"

"Are you sure that isn't a rebound?" Finn asked.

"Finn, stop it!" Quinn said. "When can we tell people we're together? I want to campaign for prom king and queen."

Finn sighed. "Let's at least wait until after Regionals." He immediately felt an ache growing for Rachel. Rachel would never be obsessing over something this stupid.

"My mom was prom queen too and so was Frannie," Quinn said.

"I know," Finn said. She'd told him that before, hadn't she?

x

Rachel sat in the choir room, trying out some new songs. Finn had told her that My Headband was no good, and she herself admitted that it wasn't very good either. She needed to write about something with more substance.

No. She wasn't going to write a song about her feelings for Finn. This was supposed to be about distracting herself, right? She'd told Kurt that Blaine's rejection was songwriting inspiration, but that would be too similar to a song about Finn. Maybe it was for the better that Blaine was gay rather than bisexual. That would allow Kurt to be with him, and Rachel knew how much Kurt liked Blaine.

Maybe she could write a song about her love for the stage and for musicals? That could work. That definitely had more substance than her headband.

I remember that day
When my dads first took me to Broadway
And I looked from my seat
Knowing this was for me

Funny Girl, Evita, Oklahoma
Wicked, West Side Story,
Chicago, Les Miserables
Fiddler On The Roof, Annie

One day I'll be there
Standing on that stage
Looking into your face
Taking in the applause
One day I'll be there

I'll push past the critics

And those who say I can't

Because I know

That I can

No. That wasn't any good either. Maybe she wasn't good enough to be a songwriter. Maybe the rest of the glee club was right.

Finn came into the choir room. "Hey, Rachel."

"Hey Finn," Rachel said.

"I'm sorry about you and Blaine," Finn said. "For what it's worth, I think you two sounded great together and he would have been good for you. He's a great guy."

"Thanks, Finn," Rachel said. "I think it's for the better though. Kurt really likes him, and like he told me, he's gay."

Finn sat down. "So, what are you up to?"

Rachel sighed. "I still want to write a song for Regionals, but I keep messing up. I tried writing a song about Broadway, but it's just - crap."

"I doubt that," Finn said, giving Rachel a half smile.

Rachel giggled and handed Finn the notebook. Finn took a look at it. "Well, this is better than My Headband, but you're not quite there yet."

"I just wish that someone else in the glee club could help me out," Rachel sighed, wishing that Finn would help her. "I can't do this alone."

"Hey, you'll come up with a great song," Finn said, patting Rachel on the shoulder. "I believe in you."

Rachel looked at the clock. She had a celibacy club meeting anyway. Well, the celibacy club wasn't much of a club because the only other member was Quinn, but Rachel was still a part of it. She went to the classroom and took a seat, where Miss Pillsbury and Quinn were waiting.

"The Celibacy Club will now come to order," Miss Pillsbury said. "Let's start the meeting by reading the minutes from last week's meeting where we read the minutes from the previous meeting, and Rachel spent the hour quizzing Quinn about the nature of her relationship with Finn."

Rachel remembered that. She'd been asking Quinn those questions but hadn't had any luck. "Questions somebody still refuses to answer."

"And I will continue to refuse to answer them because they are none of your business," Quinn snapped. "All I will reveal is that I rejoined the Celibacy Club to focus on me."

Rachel was now even more worried that Quinn was with Finn. "Me, too. Finn is kryptonite, which is why I am focusing all my energies now on my songwriting." She tried to put on a convincing face.

Miss Pillsbury nodded. "Yes, and I have to say I am very inspired that both of you are showing how celibacy is a viable option for teens who simply aren't ready for intimacy, and for those who are older and are terrified of the hose monster." She showed the girls charms with hearts and keys. "I have a little bit of club swag here that I think's really gonna catch on. Ready? Chastity charms. We hand out the little hearts, but not the key. That way, nobody can open the lock forever. And ladies, that's what keeps us safe."

That was a little weird. "I have some questions. Some things that I... I'm curious about."

"No, no, no, why be curious?" Miss Pillsbury asked. "No, wait to have relations until you're comfortable, right? Maybe till your honeymoon, I don't know. Maybe even later! Celibacy, ladies! Dig it!"

This was odd. Why was Miss Pillsbury so anti-sex?

x

Finn wanted to help Rachel with songs for Regionals. The truth was, he didn't know if they had a chance with Kurt and Blaine on the Warblers and since Aural Intensity had beaten them last year. Regionals had been when everything became okay again last year. Maybe it would be where everything become okay again this year, too. He sat in the choir room as Mr. Schue came in. "All right, folks. Regionals is in a week. It's time to get deep into our set list. Artie? You okay?"

"My life is over. How am I supposed to support a baby? How could you not tell me about this?" Artie groaned.

Mr. Schue looked at Brittany. "Wait, Brittany, are you pregnant?"

Brittany pregnant? This couldn't be good...

Brittany didn't sound as upset as Finn would have expected her to sound. "Definitely. I'm so sorry, Artie. I didn't want to upset you. I thought I could surprise you when I dropped him off. I'm pretty sure it's a boy."

"Um... Babies don't get dropped off," Puck said.

"Wait, Brittany. Have you been to a doctor yet? That's the only way to be sure," Mr. Schue said.

"I don't need to go to a doctor," Brittany said. "I just need to look outside my window. Three days ago, a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I'm not stupid. It's obviously getting ready to bring me my baby. I know where babies come from."

"There's only one way to get pregnant," Finn said. He'd learned that last year. "You have to have sex."

"But I always use protection," Brittany said.

"Then I'm sure she's fine," Finn said.

"Finn, aren't you being a little inappropriate?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Sorry," Finn mumbled.

x

The next day, Mr. Schue had another word to write on the white board: Sexy.

"I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regionals, because with Berry in those tights, we don't stand a chance," Santana said when Mr. Schue read the word.

Before Finn had a chance to tell Santana to stop insulting Rachel, Mr. Schue kept talking. "No, this isn't about Regionals. I'm less worried about that right now and more worried about the fact that it's become clear to me that some of you have been lacking when it comes to understanding the... the, uh... the intricacies of adult relationships. Yeah, anyways... Along with preparing for our Regional next week, I want to spend the week educating ourselves about some of these... intricacies."

"Is this the appropriate forum for that?" Rachel asked.

Mr. Schue looked confused. "Look, whenever we had, uh, issues in the past that are on our minds or giving us problems, it's always helped us to sing about it. So this week I have invited a special guest. Miss Holliday."

Miss Holliday came in. "Hola, clase."

"Oh, no. It's the salad lady," Mercedes groaned.

"Okay. So sex... It's just like hugging, only wetter," Miss Holliday said.

"Yeah, it is," Artie said.

"Okay, so let's start with the basics. Finn, is it true that you thought you got your girlfriend pregnant via hot tub?" Miss Holliday asked.

Finn wished people wouldn't keep talking about that. To be honest, he wasn't sure if he believed that story. He jud didn't think Quinn would cheat on him. "I have always been dubious."

"And Brittany, you think that storks bring babies?" Miss Holliday asked.

"I get my information from Woody Woodpecker cartoons," Brittany said.

"Well, that's all gonna end right here, right now," Miss Holliday declared. "Because today, we are gonna get under the covers all together - and get the ditty on the dirty."

"I'm so turned-on right now," Puck mumbled.

"Uh, what about those of us who choose to remain celibate?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, well, I admire you," Miss Holliday said. "Although I think you're naive and possibly frigid, I do admire your choice."

Did Rachel really want to stay celibate? Miss Holliday turned on the music and led the group in a song that didn't even seem to be about being celibate.

"So just remember whenever you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with," Miss Holliday said. "And everybody's got a random."

Every time you've had sex with someone, you'd had sex with everyone they'd had sex with? Santana had slept with so many people, Finn wasn't sure if he knew how many there were. This wasn't good. What if he'd gotten something?

x

"I'm glad you're taking action about this, Finn, but I must say, I'm really disappointed in you," Carole said as they sat in the waiting room at the hospital.

"Mom, don't you think I feel bad enough about this already?" Finn asked Carole.

"Finn, why didn't you tell me right after you had sex with that girl - a girl who you didn't have intimate feelings for - that she'd had sex with so many boys?" Carole asked. "If something is wrong with you, we could have gotten this taken care of right afterwards rather than waiting months."

"Mom, please don't," Finn said. When Finn had come home a few days ago and asked Carole to make an appointment, she hadn't stopped lecturing him about the dangers of STDs.

The doctor came into the waiting room. "Finn, can I see you and your mom in my office?"

"Yeah," Finn said. He followed the doctor back to his office with his mom behind him. Once they were in the office, Finn looked at the doctor. "Am I okay?"

"You're okay, but I hope you take this as a wake-up call," the doctor said to him. "If that girl who you mentioned has had sex with so many other people, you should really consider talking with girls you have sex with in the future about their history."

"I will," Finn groaned.

"Thank you for your time," Carole said to the doctor. As they began leaving, Carole turned to Finn. "Do you still want to go to Quinn's?"

"Yes," Finn said.

"If you guys do anything, I want you to ask her..." Carole began.

"Mom, don't," Finn said. He didn't even have any intention of having sex with Quinn.

"Okay," Carole said. They drove to Quinn's house in almost complete silence, and as soon as Finn arrived, Quinn was waiting for him.

"Good thing you're here," Quinn said. "I need you to look at prom king and queen campaign posters with me."

Finn didn't have any interest in campaigning for prom king and queen. They spent about an hour looking through posters Quinn had designed while Finn pretended to be interested.

"So, which one's your favorite?" Quinn asked.

"Any of them are fine," Finn said. "We can use whichever one you want."

"Thank you for being so flexible," Quinn said. "Let's lie down."

Finn lay down on Quinn's bed as she leaned over and began making out with him. This didn't feel as his makeouts with Rachel. Finn heard a car pass the house, hoping that was Quinn's mom so they could take a break from this. "What was that? Is that your mom?" Finn asked.

"She's at work. She won't be home for hours. Divorce rules," Quinn said, giving Finn a seductive look. "Come here." She pulled him over as they continued making out.

Finn noticed a hickey on Quinn's neck. "Ooh! I'll be more careful with the hickey placement next time."

"This is so awesome," Quinn said. "We have two months until Prom, so we have plenty of time to campaign for Prom King and Queen."

"But that's not all this is about, though, right?" Finn asked. All Quinn had been talking about lately was prom.

"Look, I made a mistake with Puck," Quinn said. "You should have been my first. This is where I belong. With you. Okay?"

Finn decided not to point out that she hadn't said that wasn't all this was about. "Okay."

x

The next day, there was a celibacy club meeting, and Miss Pillsbury wasn't there. Rachel decided to run the meeting, especially since now Puck, Lauren, Sam, Santana, Artie and Brittany were members, too. "I hereby call the Celibacy Club to order."

"Where's Ms. Pillsbury?" Puck asked.

"She decided to take the hour she was spending here to use it to fix her sham of a marriage," Rachel said. "In the interim, I'll be taking over."

"Because you annoyingly take over everything?" Santana asked.

"Because I realized that while all of us making our celibacy pledge is wonderful, one day we're going to fall in love with someone, and we're going to choose to be intimate with them," Rachel said. She really hoped one day she could be intimate with Finn.

"Speaking of being intimate... What's with the hickey, Quinn?" Puck asked.

Rachel's heart skipped a beat. She noticed Puck was right. Quinn did have a hickey. She couldn't have gotten it from Finn, right?

"It's not a hickey," Quinn said.

"Oh, I know hickeys," Puck said. "I'm a freakin' connoisseur. I can make them into shapes, like balloon animals."

"I burnt myself this morning with a curling iron," Quinn said.

Quinn sounded like she was trying to cover something up. And Rachel had a feeling she knew what it was. She just couldn't help but wonder - why? Why would Finn go back to Quinn after what she did to him? It just didn't make sense.

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