Chapter 38

September flew by and now we were into October, the end of to be specific. Why is it that the older one gets, the faster the year goes? It felt like just yesterday we were celebrating Christmas, or even last October when we first started dating. Where does the time go?

It's October 28th. I woke up that morning wondering if he remembered why today was so special. I assumed no, mostly because he was a man. Men never remember important days like birthdays or anniversaries. But Sirius was not like most other men I knew.

Later that afternoon, I stood at the sink, my hands in the hot, soapy water and stared out the window. Sirius went to a meeting for his 'group', leaving me home. Strangely, I enjoyed the alone time. Sirius had been spending so much time at home that I wasn't able to be alone much. Even though I didn't always enjoy being alone, it did have its perks every once in a while.

As I let the water run down the drain, I heard the front door open, then shut and lock. Sirius' heavy footsteps sounded in the hall and within seconds, he had stepped into the kitchen.

'Hey, love. I didn't know what you wanted for dinner, so I didn't pick anything up at the store,' I said without turning around. I waited for the feel of his hands on my waist, but they never came.

"Krista, we need to talk." Sirius said sombrely. Startled, I turned quickly and grabbed a dishtowel from the counter.

His tone scared me as did his eyes. Normally, they sparkled with some unsaid joke, but now they were dark, terrifying. 'What about?' I asked cautiously, tossing the dishtowel onto the counter. I leaned against it, my arms crossed over my chest. The hard wood of the counter was digging into my back, but at the moment I didn't care.

Everything from someone's death to a break-up flew through my mind. I hated moments of surprise, moments when I didn't know what was going to happen.

Sirius took my hands in his andled me into the living room, sitting me on the couch. The last time he did this, he disappeared for close to a month on a mission. Was he leaving again? Please don't let him leave, I thought as I chewed my lip. Not today. Not today of all days.

He took a deep breath and met my eyes with a sad smile. 'I shouldn't be telling you this; I definitely shouldn't be telling you this.' He sighed and shook his head. 'The "bad guys,"' he put those words in air-quotes, 'that James, Peter, Remus and I have been fighting…' he trailed off, nervously looking down at his hands. I wanted to shake him for pausing.

'What? What about them?' I was nervous, understandably. I twisted my hands together and stared at him, my eyes wide. The bad guys were the ones who kidnapped me, killed several of his friends (and mine), and were the reason everyone in the wizarding world was terrified. 'Sirius, you have to tell me.'

'They're after us; well, James and Lily specifically. So they're going into hiding.'

'What do you mean, "they're after you?" What does that mean?' I shivered despite the warm room and wrapped my arms tightly around me. I understood that they were fighting this bad guy. But why were they so important that they were top on his list? What could they have possibly done to be on the top of that list?

He squeezed my hand tightly and stared into my eyes. 'Look, everything's going to be fine. Voldemort won't get them, I promise. He won't get me either.'

For a moment, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that everyone I loved would be safe. But with our recent track record regarding friends, my hope fell quickly. 'Voldemort?' I asked, suddenly hearing that name for the first time. Who was that?

Sirius sighed and looked away, and I assumed he realised he had said too much. He had never mentioned that name before, "Voldemort is in charge of the Death Eaters, the bad guys. He's the one causing this whole mess.' He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders.

'Why James and Lily? What's going on?'

'I shouldn't be telling you this…'

'Yes, well, you are, so start talking. You can't just tell me something like that and then drop it. What's in my imagination is probably worse that what's actually happening.' I was worried. What was going to happen to them? To us?

He sighed again and shook his head, looking down at his hands clasped in his lap. 'I… okay. Voldemort is a man who… he's decided he wants to be in charge. He's the person my parents would love to have in power. He doesn't like muggles and has the belief that having magic means we should be in control over everyone.

'We've been trying to stop him, it's just… it's not working the way we planned. There was this… he thinks that we're going to kill him. But don't worry,' he reached out and squeezed my hands tightly. 'I will not let anything happen to you.'

When before I was worried, I was now terrified. For the first time in quite a while, I wasn't worried about myself. 'For once, I'm not worried about me. I'm worried about you, and Lily and James and Harry. What's going to happen, Sirius?'

'I don't know, Kris, I just don't know.' He paused, and suddenly looked so much older than his twenty-two years. 'We're hiding. I don't want you leaving the house unless I'm with you. We're going to wait this out here. I won't be going to work, as a matter of fact, I won't be here much either. I need to hide too. I'm…I'm sort of "in charge" of James and Lily.'

'What does that mean, "in charge"? You have to hide too? You won't be here, with me?' My heart pounded in my chest and I was certain he could hear it. He ran a hand through his hair, longer than when I met him. I liked it shorter. 'Sirius, you're not doing anything dangerous, are you?'

'Love, everything I do is dangerous,' he said with his trademark grin.

'Can't you be serious?'

I didn't think it was possible, but his grin grew large. 'I am always Sirius.'

Sighing loudly, I rolled my eyes, unable to hide the smile on my lips. 'That joke is old, Sirius. I think you used it on the cavemen.'

'It made you smile.' He brought my hand to his lips and lightly kissed the back. 'Don't worry about me,' he said softly, bringing us back to the conversation at hand.

'I always worry about you. You…,' I broke off, unable to finish where I wanted the sentence to go.

He scooted back on the couch and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me in close. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes. His heart pounded in his chest and I smiled at the sound. 'What's going to happen?'

When Sirius didn't answer, I pulled back and turned, looking up at his face. 'You don't know what's going to happen, do you?'

'Not a clue, love.'

I bit my lip and leaned back into him, silent. What a way to celebrate our anniversary. My friends might not be killed at any moment. I had feared for my life more than enough times in the past year, now I was afraid for my friends. Could this Voldemort actually hurt them? Could he kill them?

'Hey,' he said softly as his lips brushed the top of my head. 'Don't worry.'

'Easy for you to say. You never worry. You're always cool and calm.'

A bark-like laugh came from his throat and I looked up in alarm. 'Kris, I'm never cool and calm. I worry every day whether or not we'll make it out of this alive.' His hand came up and he brushed my cheek, sliding back a lock of hair. 'I'm always worried; I'm always scared. I worry all the time that when I leave the house, I might not come back. The idea of leaving you terrifies me.'

Tears filled my eyes and I forced myself to look away. 'Don't cry,' he said softly. 'I promise, Krista, I promise that I won't leave you if I can help it.'

'Don't promise that,' I whispered, hot tears sliding down my cheeks. 'You can't promise that.'

He leaned in, his lips brushing mine. I closed my eyes and let myself get lost in the kiss. It had been too long since we kissed like this. 'This is a bad way to spend an anniversary.'

'You remembered.' Opening my eyes, I grin up at him despite my tears.

'Of course I did. Come on.' He wiped away the tears on my cheeks with his thumbs before taking my hands and leading me the stairs.

When we reached our room, he sat me on the bed and disappeared into the closet. 'Close your eyes,' he said with his back to me.

'What? Seriously?'

'Yes. Close. Your. Eyes.'

Rolling my eyes, I sighed, but promptly closed my eyes, even taking a moment to cover them with my hands. 'Okay,' he said a minute later. 'Open them.'

I took my hands away from my eyes and opened them. His hands were held in front of me with a small box. 'Don't get any ideas,' he said before I could form a coherent thought. 'It's not what you think it is.' Of course the only thing I thought it could be was a ring. Surely that wasn't how he was going to propose?

Sirius sat down next to me on the bed and handed me the box. 'Then what is it?' I asked, my voice shaking as bad as my hands.

'Open it and find out.'

Raising an eyebrow, I took the box and opened it. My heart pounded as I looked down at the small silver ring. 'Sirius…'

'No, I told you it's not what you think. I wouldn't propose like that.' He took the ring between his fingers and held it out. 'It's a promise ring. I'm promising that one day, hopefully real soon, we'll get married and life happily ever after. I'm promising that I will make you happy and keep you safe.'

'Sirius,' I said again, my voice trailing off as my eyes filled with tears once again.

He slid the ring onto my finger and brought my hand to his lips. 'I love you.'

'I love you, too.'

He kissed my hand again before squeezing it. 'No matter what I have to do, I will keep you safe. I promise, Kris.'

'I know,' I said softly. 'But please do me one thing.' I wrapped my hands around his and squeezed lightly. When he nodded, I took a deep breath. 'Please keep yourself safe. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you.'

'I'll do my best.'

'Thank you. For that and for the ring. It's beautiful.'

Without saying a word, he slid up the bed and pulled me with him. I cuddled into his side, rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes. I could feel his heart beat through his shirt and for that moment, everything was okay.

AN: Thank you to ., the_werewolf_gal, HouseElfDictator, ktmt1120, and LadyStrider17 for reviewing the previous chapter and for everyone who added this to an alert/favorite list. Only 1 more chapter and an epilogue left! After that... I do have a sequel planned that is already way more detailed and much longer than I anticipated.

Thank you again for reading! I really appreciate it!