POST NO # 38
Ex-senator Padmé Nabberie Skywalker dumped her hooded cloak unceremoniously on the floor and slumped down heavily on the bed. She let out a frustrated sigh. She was glad to be back in her familiar room but apprehensive at the same time at the permeating loneliness in the room that threatened to engulf and suffocate her all over again. She had gone all the way to Coruscant without achieving her goal. Three long months since Anakin had stormed out of their quarters. She missed him sourly, she even missed his bad moods, anything was better than being isolated like this.
The trip to Coruscant was meant to, distract her from her boredom. She'd recovered from the miscarriage and was absolutely fed up with any more bed rest. She needed to be away. She thought of visiting her parents back on Naboo but then while discussing her plans for a visit off ship with the Captain, she caught a remark from him hinting that Lord Vader would be visiting the capital soon. Accordingly she changed her plan and asked him to permit her to spend a few days on Coruscant citing medical reasons. Dr Walfala, the medic responsible for her was kind enough to conspire with her and recommended a routine test or the other, which could not be availed on the ship. The kind doctor too knew that what his forlorn patient needed was a change of air. The Captain had no choice but to give her his consent. A ship was assigned her along with a three-man escort.
Her mind spun back to that unfruitful trip. The last time she'd visited the Capital Anakin had been with her, they had attended dinners and parties and official ceremonies. Most of which she had not enjoyed but Anakin's comforting presence was there. Now, though, she had been allowed her wishes and she and Meleen had indulged themselves and gone mostly shopping and sight seeing to museums and theaters, accompanied by their complement of guards of course, but it hadn't done much in the way of distraction. She had gone there in the hope of meeting her husband and snagging a chance to make up with him. She was sure an apology and some female charm would win him over in an instant. A three months separation, she decided, was more than enough to soften him up to her charms, though she hadn't found a chance to actually prove her theory as she had failed to meet him even once.
Padmé had even endured the attention of a dozen old Generals and Admirals at the 'Vuaghnall Victory ball' just for a chance to meet him only to discover that he'd already left Coruscant. She sighed heavily, it was more than obvious that her hardheaded husband was still miffed at her and had avoided her purposely.
Truth was she hadn't believed Anakin would carry out his threat of not seeing her again in the first place. They'd had their rough patches before-many, many rough patches to be truthful; the main bone of contention between the two of them being their extremely opposing political views. Anakin would announce that democracy had failed, betrayed by corrupt politicians who had hijacked it and then he would try to make her see the positive side of the empire and she would emphatically disagree with him and criticize the emperor which would send him into a rage. Violence was his usual answer when he could not win the argument but sometimes he would simply pack up and leave in a huff only to return weeks or sometimes months later pretending that nothing had happened.
Having no other choice, she too would play along, though inwardly she'd be still simmering at him. Things were different though depending on the duration of his trip. If he stayed away too long and since he was her only really interesting companion as far as the arguments and the love making were concerned she'd begin to miss him. Sometimes it would be almost difficult for her to hide her excitement; like the time after his return from Belkadaan after an absence of almost a month. Before this he'd never stayed away more than a couple of weeks. The two had parted on a sour not as usual.
The Sith had been surprised out of his skin when a shrieking Padmé had jumped into his arms as soon as he'd crossed the threshold to their room and had knocked him flat to the floor. Vader hadn't questioned her motives nor had she dwelled on their parting words, which hadn't been too subtle either. The way the two lay tangled on the floor, locked in an endless kiss, it seemed the two had never a reason to disagree; a full-scale confrontation seemed unthinkable.
But he hadn't nursed a grudge this long before; not with her. This was the first time he'd stayed away a whole three months. She knew he needed her as much as she needed him. She remembered the abject horror in his eyes as she'd moved the saber towards her heart. But he could be stubborn. Stubborn as only a Sith could be.
She stiffened when she heard the door hiss open-expecting to see Anakin dash inside with his usual flourish, his face stolid trying to be casual but quite unable to keep the twinkle out of those blue eyes that betrayed his eagerness to be with her-Her body slackened again when she saw it was only Maleen bringing in her luggage.
She picked up her thoughts from where she'd left off. She thought of the good times she had had with her husband. Though she had her fair share of teeth gnashing moments with him-he was definitely a difficult man to please-but things were so much rosier when she dwelt on the happier memories of him, it made life almost bearable. Not surprisingly the good times coincided with his good moods, which came few and far between, but like rare jewels she treasured these moments close to her heart. These memories of Anakin were her lifeline to sanity; if she focused too much on what he really was she was afraid she'd go mad. It was so much easier to humanize him after all she was the one forced to live with him. Lately though, she tended more often to forget about the unpleasant times, dwelling on what could have been and where she went wrong only helped her to sink further into self pity and depression. The fact that he had gone to the trouble to buy her gifts had at last shown that he cared about her and their unborn child. It was like she needed an excuse to love him, even a tiny one.
She lay back on the bed, seemingly staring at the ceiling but she was thinking of those first nights after a long separation. Those nights were especially sweet and mushy. Candle light dinners, late night romps in the hydrophonic garden under a full moon of one planet or another with just the megcon field separating them from the open starry sky. If that were not possible, as when they were in deep space or lightspeed then the simulator in the garden roof was activated to simulate a Nubian autumn night with its twin moons or sometimes-when he was in an especially romantic mood-the three fascinating moons of Tatooine.
Once he'd taken her in his shuttle for an external tour of his beloved command ship that was also their home. They flew past the bridge and the shield generator domes, past the many defense armaments and the huge exhaust ports protruding from the stern of the ship. She'd nodded and squealed, as the moment required showing her awe at his incredible knowledge. Boosting his male ego and helping to keep the mood as light as possible for a fickle soul such as he. Then she'd spotted the planet that hung below the orbital dockyard and had warily asked him to take her to it. She had braced herself for a firm and solid "No!" Anakin didn't fancy taking his wife along to back water provinces to be ogled at by the natives. To her surprise he promptly turned the craft around and announced to the planetary traffic controllers that he was coming in. The trip down Hararoud was among one of her most cherished memories.
Rugged jagged black mountains with thousands of white graceful waterfalls spilling down their sheer sides stood in the midst of thick green and purple foliage. Padmé gasped at the breath-taking vista of the endless jungle dotted by hundreds of shimmering, sparkling lakes rushing below them.
After the aerial tour of the jungle she'd expected them to return back to the ship but he'd turned the shuttle around and surprised her again by setting it down right in the middle of a little town. Hand in hand they'd browsed the ancient markets that nestled in a maze of narrow lanes and alleys ways. He'd even bought her a hand carved little pendant made of Cori wood that was exceptionally delicate. The wood had a soft scented fragrance unlike any other.
Anakin's good mood had lasted through the night. It was on nights like these that he was especially ardent-and brutal-in his lovemaking; like a stranded desert hunter who had just been offered his first cup of water. Later as the night would wear on he'd mellow down, his touch becoming gentler and around dawn he'd look at her surprised while examining the bruises and swellings and ask, with affected innocence, whether he was the one that had caused them. He'd begin kissing or caressing the bruises, his touch incredibly gentle and light. Like the touch of delicate spring blossoms, floating on a gentle spring breeze and barely brushing her skin. Soon there would be no sign left of the ravages of his unbridled passion. Padmé made the most of it when Vader was in moods like these because it usually didn't last long.
And never did the truce, in spite of the unspoken pact, unknowingly they'd wander into dangerous territory-usually politics and very soon they'd be explosives exploding on all sides. End result would be that the both of them would end up lying with their backs to each other, or worse, if it was a really scalding argument-in which case Anakin would jump out of bed and stretch out on the sofa in the living room which meant he'd probably be leaving on a another long trip come morning. If it wasn't a disagreement then it was the comm or rather the emperor who usually if not always made it a point to call for his apprentice at the most unsuitable times.
The emperor not withstanding she had managed to lengthen this uneasy truce, sacrificing her pride and more importantly her ideals to keep the peace. At the same time she made no effort to bow to the emperor and accept him as her master as Anakin would have liked her. That was when she would call it quits and they'd be back to where they started. She suspected that Anakin knew that and she had noticed that lately he'd avoided pushing her that far, except in the case that the emperor was close by, then this Sith would be nothing but a pure, spiteful, scathing Sith. He'd squash all those beautiful moments of the night before like some ugly bugs.
Padmé sighed again. This time though she was solely to blame. She had lost control and had lashed out ruthlessly at him. The worst part of that best forgotten incident was that it had not even been a political quarrel like most other times. This time she had attacked him, not the emperor nor the empire but him. He'd come back with reconciliation on his mind, bearing gifts for her and their baby to please her and she had thrown it all in his face by calling him a monster and a murderer. She should be dead, he should have just reached and strangled her, after all, did he not claim that his actions were ruled by anger? And yet he had just walked away. Why? She asked herself. It could not be just lust, for that he could replace her with a thousand other women. Had his love for her won over that formidable anger?
'He is human.' a voice answered in her head. 'He is vulnerable and you struck him in that small part of his heart that is still flesh and blood, a part that has not yet turned to stone.'
Ex-senator Padmé Nabberie Skywalker dumped her hooded cloak unceremoniously on the floor and slumped down heavily on the bed. She let out a frustrated sigh. She was glad to be back in her familiar room but apprehensive at the same time at the permeating loneliness in the room that threatened to engulf and suffocate her all over again. She had gone all the way to Coruscant without achieving her goal. Three long months since Anakin had stormed out of their quarters. She missed him sourly, she even missed his bad moods, anything was better than being isolated like this.
The trip to Coruscant was meant to, distract her from her boredom. She'd recovered from the miscarriage and was absolutely fed up with any more bed rest. She needed to be away. She thought of visiting her parents back on Naboo but then while discussing her plans for a visit off ship with the Captain, she caught a remark from him hinting that Lord Vader would be visiting the capital soon. Accordingly she changed her plan and asked him to permit her to spend a few days on Coruscant citing medical reasons. Dr Walfala, the medic responsible for her was kind enough to conspire with her and recommended a routine test or the other, which could not be availed on the ship. The kind doctor too knew that what his forlorn patient needed was a change of air. The Captain had no choice but to give her his consent. A ship was assigned her along with a three-man escort.
Her mind spun back to that unfruitful trip. The last time she'd visited the Capital Anakin had been with her, they had attended dinners and parties and official ceremonies. Most of which she had not enjoyed but Anakin's comforting presence was there. Now, though, she had been allowed her wishes and she and Meleen had indulged themselves and gone mostly shopping and sight seeing to museums and theaters, accompanied by their complement of guards of course, but it hadn't done much in the way of distraction. She had gone there in the hope of meeting her husband and snagging a chance to make up with him. She was sure an apology and some female charm would win him over in an instant. A three months separation, she decided, was more than enough to soften him up to her charms, though she hadn't found a chance to actually prove her theory as she had failed to meet him even once.
Padmé had even endured the attention of a dozen old Generals and Admirals at the 'Vuaghnall Victory ball' just for a chance to meet him only to discover that he'd already left Coruscant. She sighed heavily, it was more than obvious that her hardheaded husband was still miffed at her and had avoided her purposely.
Truth was she hadn't believed Anakin would carry out his threat of not seeing her again in the first place. They'd had their rough patches before-many, many rough patches to be truthful; the main bone of contention between the two of them being their extremely opposing political views. Anakin would announce that democracy had failed, betrayed by corrupt politicians who had hijacked it and then he would try to make her see the positive side of the empire and she would emphatically disagree with him and criticize the emperor which would send him into a rage. Violence was his usual answer when he could not win the argument but sometimes he would simply pack up and leave in a huff only to return weeks or sometimes months later pretending that nothing had happened.
Having no other choice, she too would play along, though inwardly she'd be still simmering at him. Things were different though depending on the duration of his trip. If he stayed away too long and since he was her only really interesting companion as far as the arguments and the love making were concerned she'd begin to miss him. Sometimes it would be almost difficult for her to hide her excitement; like the time after his return from Belkadaan after an absence of almost a month. Before this he'd never stayed away more than a couple of weeks. The two had parted on a sour not as usual.
The Sith had been surprised out of his skin when a shrieking Padmé had jumped into his arms as soon as he'd crossed the threshold to their room and had knocked him flat to the floor. Vader hadn't questioned her motives nor had she dwelled on their parting words, which hadn't been too subtle either. The way the two lay tangled on the floor, locked in an endless kiss, it seemed the two had never a reason to disagree; a full-scale confrontation seemed unthinkable.
But he hadn't nursed a grudge this long before; not with her. This was the first time he'd stayed away a whole three months. She knew he needed her as much as she needed him. She remembered the abject horror in his eyes as she'd moved the saber towards her heart. But he could be stubborn. Stubborn as only a Sith could be.
She stiffened when she heard the door hiss open-expecting to see Anakin dash inside with his usual flourish, his face stolid trying to be casual but quite unable to keep the twinkle out of those blue eyes that betrayed his eagerness to be with her-Her body slackened again when she saw it was only Maleen bringing in her luggage.
She picked up her thoughts from where she'd left off. She thought of the good times she had had with her husband. Though she had her fair share of teeth gnashing moments with him-he was definitely a difficult man to please-but things were so much rosier when she dwelt on the happier memories of him, it made life almost bearable. Not surprisingly the good times coincided with his good moods, which came few and far between, but like rare jewels she treasured these moments close to her heart. These memories of Anakin were her lifeline to sanity; if she focused too much on what he really was she was afraid she'd go mad. It was so much easier to humanize him after all she was the one forced to live with him. Lately though, she tended more often to forget about the unpleasant times, dwelling on what could have been and where she went wrong only helped her to sink further into self pity and depression. The fact that he had gone to the trouble to buy her gifts had at last shown that he cared about her and their unborn child. It was like she needed an excuse to love him, even a tiny one.
She lay back on the bed, seemingly staring at the ceiling but she was thinking of those first nights after a long separation. Those nights were especially sweet and mushy. Candle light dinners, late night romps in the hydrophonic garden under a full moon of one planet or another with just the megcon field separating them from the open starry sky. If that were not possible, as when they were in deep space or lightspeed then the simulator in the garden roof was activated to simulate a Nubian autumn night with its twin moons or sometimes-when he was in an especially romantic mood-the three fascinating moons of Tatooine.
Once he'd taken her in his shuttle for an external tour of his beloved command ship that was also their home. They flew past the bridge and the shield generator domes, past the many defense armaments and the huge exhaust ports protruding from the stern of the ship. She'd nodded and squealed, as the moment required showing her awe at his incredible knowledge. Boosting his male ego and helping to keep the mood as light as possible for a fickle soul such as he. Then she'd spotted the planet that hung below the orbital dockyard and had warily asked him to take her to it. She had braced herself for a firm and solid "No!" Anakin didn't fancy taking his wife along to back water provinces to be ogled at by the natives. To her surprise he promptly turned the craft around and announced to the planetary traffic controllers that he was coming in. The trip down Hararoud was among one of her most cherished memories.
Rugged jagged black mountains with thousands of white graceful waterfalls spilling down their sheer sides stood in the midst of thick green and purple foliage. Padmé gasped at the breath-taking vista of the endless jungle dotted by hundreds of shimmering, sparkling lakes rushing below them.
After the aerial tour of the jungle she'd expected them to return back to the ship but he'd turned the shuttle around and surprised her again by setting it down right in the middle of a little town. Hand in hand they'd browsed the ancient markets that nestled in a maze of narrow lanes and alleys ways. He'd even bought her a hand carved little pendant made of Cori wood that was exceptionally delicate. The wood had a soft scented fragrance unlike any other.
Anakin's good mood had lasted through the night. It was on nights like these that he was especially ardent-and brutal-in his lovemaking; like a stranded desert hunter who had just been offered his first cup of water. Later as the night would wear on he'd mellow down, his touch becoming gentler and around dawn he'd look at her surprised while examining the bruises and swellings and ask, with affected innocence, whether he was the one that had caused them. He'd begin kissing or caressing the bruises, his touch incredibly gentle and light. Like the touch of delicate spring blossoms, floating on a gentle spring breeze and barely brushing her skin. Soon there would be no sign left of the ravages of his unbridled passion. Padmé made the most of it when Vader was in moods like these because it usually didn't last long.
And never did the truce, in spite of the unspoken pact, unknowingly they'd wander into dangerous territory-usually politics and very soon they'd be explosives exploding on all sides. End result would be that the both of them would end up lying with their backs to each other, or worse, if it was a really scalding argument-in which case Anakin would jump out of bed and stretch out on the sofa in the living room which meant he'd probably be leaving on a another long trip come morning. If it wasn't a disagreement then it was the comm or rather the emperor who usually if not always made it a point to call for his apprentice at the most unsuitable times.
The emperor not withstanding she had managed to lengthen this uneasy truce, sacrificing her pride and more importantly her ideals to keep the peace. At the same time she made no effort to bow to the emperor and accept him as her master as Anakin would have liked her. That was when she would call it quits and they'd be back to where they started. She suspected that Anakin knew that and she had noticed that lately he'd avoided pushing her that far, except in the case that the emperor was close by, then this Sith would be nothing but a pure, spiteful, scathing Sith. He'd squash all those beautiful moments of the night before like some ugly bugs.
Padmé sighed again. This time though she was solely to blame. She had lost control and had lashed out ruthlessly at him. The worst part of that best forgotten incident was that it had not even been a political quarrel like most other times. This time she had attacked him, not the emperor nor the empire but him. He'd come back with reconciliation on his mind, bearing gifts for her and their baby to please her and she had thrown it all in his face by calling him a monster and a murderer. She should be dead, he should have just reached and strangled her, after all, did he not claim that his actions were ruled by anger? And yet he had just walked away. Why? She asked herself. It could not be just lust, for that he could replace her with a thousand other women. Had his love for her won over that formidable anger?
'He is human.' a voice answered in her head. 'He is vulnerable and you struck him in that small part of his heart that is still flesh and blood, a part that has not yet turned to stone.'