This is my cheap and crappy attempt at some jovial (and crude?) potty humor. Or something lighthearted and airy really. (Still trying to remove Forever from my system after writing it lol...)

Guys, I'm off my vibe... I've been super fatigued recently and sleeping has been a bit rough because I've caught some sort of crappy summer cold (FROM YOU ALLIE! :P) So sorry if updates for any story I promised have been slow or haven't come out at all yet. Every time I sit down to write, I get fatigued and lose momentum. Hopefully I can get it together by the end of the week.

On queue: jennnnnnnyyyyy's request for Badass/Jealous (JealASS)!Lucas lololol (I'm doing your non smut request that you asked for instead) :3

Enjoy! I really appreciate the reviews! Thank you for reading these wacka doodle one shots hahahah! You all are so sweet! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own GMW.

Title: FML
Pairings&Characters: Maya, Lucas
Genre: Humor (potty), Friendship, Angst (?), AU
Rating: T for Toilet Paper! Pronto!
Summary: Shit.

Kind of based on a true, unfortunate story -_-;

Request by miaadventure for Maya needing toilet paper. Thank you for the request! X3

Maya was sitting nonchalantly at the kitchen table, twirling her pencil in between her fingers when she felt it again:

The really strong urge to pee.

She'd been ignoring it for the past thirty minutes or so, having finally found her rhythm studying for the finals, and the last thing she had wanted to do was break her concentration just to go take a piss.

But now she couldn't ignore it. It was pressing rather insistently, and she knew if she didn't get on that toilet right then, she was going to spill her pants. Hell, she could already feel the liquid slowly trickling out.

Maya held it as hard as she could and hopped off of her kitchen stool, holding her crotch and rushing over to her bathroom. She opened up the door and then paused when she remembered that she didn't have soap and toilet paper. It had been on her to do list for things to buy after finals and something she deemed wasn't necessarily important since she spent most of her time out of her apartment, but now that she was in a pinch, she realized the error in her ways.

"Shit."

The urge to pee suddenly intensified, and Maya rushed back to her kitchen, hopping onto her stool and squirming around with a grimace, fighting the incessant pressure for her to just release it and end her misery. She clenched her teeth tightly, frantically jiggling her leg up and down and moving around in her seat for it to finally stop.

The minute the pressure momentarily lost intensity, she wasted no time, shooting off of the stool and racing out of her apartment to the one next door. She knew Lucas had toilet paper that he kept stocked up.

His door was locked when she tried it, but she had crashed at his place for food enough times now that he'd taken to leaving her a key under his welcome mat. She stooped and swiped it up immediately, unlocking the door and racing inside.

Normally, she would use the bathroom attached to his bedroom (it smelled like vanilla and it had the fluffiest hand towels she'd ever used in her entire life!), but by that point, she could feel the tension building once again with a vengeance, and she knew if she didn't sit her ass down on the loo, she was going to have an accident. And from the way the urge grew so strong she had to bend over and take slow, slow steps she knew time was up.

There would be no way to hold it back after this.

This flow was raging. And it definitely was not giving up without a fight.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…"

She straightened up rapidly and flung herself into the bathroom near the kitchen, yanking up the seat and sitting down after nearly tearing her leggings off. With a satisfied sigh, she closed her eyes, the relief so all-encompassing that she slouched in her seat. She didn't understand why she kept doing that 'full bladder about to leak all over' crap to herself if she suffered so much trying to get to the bathroom afterward.

And then she turned to her right to grab some toilet paper only to realize, in slight horror, that there was none. There was just the little plastic bar that held the rolls.

But no toilet paper.

Maya blinked at it for a second, a little confused that Lucas had forgotten to restock. He was usually good about these things.

She opened up the sink cabinets, wondering if there would be an extra roll. But it was empty, save for some cleaning supplies. Groaning under her breath, she leaned forward as far as she could without coming off the seat and opened the bathroom door a crack.

"Hey Huckleberry!" she shouted, "Mind bringing me some toilet paper?"

There was no response.

Was he even at home?

Maya shut the door and groaned, running her hand through her hair. He could very well have been out to dinner or studying at the campus library.

"Great…"

She was trapped in Lucas' guest bathroom with no toilet paper, and he wasn't even home. She eyed the Clorox disinfectant wipes in the cupboard and vaguely wondered if she should use those. But she winced, knowing the chemicals in the cleaning solution would probably burn the shit out of her bum.

She could use her underwear, but this was her last clean pair, and she sure as hell didn't want to soil it when she didn't have any clean laundry at the moment (she usually waited until Lucas went to the laundromat every two Sundays and then would slip her stuff in inconspicuously).

There wasn't even the leftover brown cardboard roll for her to use! And she refused to use her hand. Maya didn't consider herself a particularly clean person necessarily, but she wasn't disgusting. And touching her own pee was on her list of absolutely disgusting things.

Maya didn't know where Lucas kept his extra toilet paper, but she figured if anything, he would probably have a roll in his personal one. She'd just head there and finish up and leave. She wiggled a bit in her seat to clear as much as she could before standing up. She left the bathroom, walking as briskly as she could, with her leggings and panties around her knees, towards his bedroom in the back.

And as she walked by the living room—the very open living room that was impossible to avoid—she froze.

Because sitting on the couches, headphones over their ears as they played some video game, were Lucas and three of his friends.

Their eyes all turned to her, wide and jaws a little slack. The game was long forgotten, controllers falling out of hands in shock. She wondered what was going through their minds right now, seeing some strange blonde girl sneaking around Lucas' apartment, pants around her knees.

"M-Maya?" Lucas looked absolutely floored.

Well.

This was fucking awkward.

Maya had been in her fair share of awkward situations before, but damn… this took the cake.

She sighed, fighting her blush.

When in doubt, act indifferent.

By that point, they'd all already seen her bum anyway. There was nothing she could do. So she ignored the flabbergasted looks on their faces, continuing her stiff walk to Lucas' bathroom. She finished up in there, wiping, flushing, pulling up her pants and washing her hands.

She took the roll with her, walking out of his room and back through the living room, keeping her eyes straight forward and not on the guys watching her in stupefied bewilderment. She flushed what she'd left in the his other bathroom, walked out of his apartment, and went back to her own.

Needless to say, that was the last time Maya went to Lucas' apartment for the rest of the semester.