The Wrong Team

His mind wandered as he tuned out the light babble of his fellow customers and the sharp hisses of the shiny chrome machines behind the counter. He stood alone, his foot tapping to the beat of the Pink song stuck in his head. The cool air of the coffee shop made him shiver slightly as the air conditioning unit worked overtime to keep the heat of the midsummer day outside, a difficult feat considering the number of times the front door swung open and shut, the tiny bell attached to the frame chiming each time.

When he moved up to third in line, a teenage girl approached him. Brilliant blonde locks fell in ringlets to the small of her back, framing a heart-shaped, tanned face. Blue eyes danced in the sunlight reflected off of the windows, and full lips pouted slightly. An impressive chest, contrasting sharply with a tiny waist and toned legs, was barely concealed in a plain white halter-top. By all accounts, the girl was drop-dead gorgeous.

"Hey there," she purred, leaning sultrily toward him. "What's your name?"

His triangular eyebrows furrowed in uncomfortable confusion. "I'm Blaine." Unsure of what to do, he nervously stretched out his hand.

The girl was momentarily surprised by the gesture, but she quickly recovered her confident smirk and shook his hand. "I'm Cassidy. So what's a guy like you doing in a place like this all by yourself?"

"Actually—" Blaine began, but Cassidy cut him off.

"Listen. You're hot. I'm hot." She followed him as he stumbled to the counter to place his order. "We should do something about that." She winked at him suggestively.

"I—no—we—you—there's—see—" Blaine was thoroughly flustered. He'd been hit on by girls before, but never by ones so forceful or overt. He wanted to remain proper and dapper while letting her down gently, but Cassidy didn't seem like the kind of girl to take no for an answer. Blaine caught the eye of Alison, the fiery ginger barista he'd befriended during his many trips to the Lima Bean. She was stifling crippling giggles as she watched the awkward scene play out before her.

Cassidy did not notice this as her piercing blue eyes were trained Blaine's red face. "Aw, that's cute. You're nervous. I was kind of hoping for a player, but I can work with this."

"No—I—he—" As Blaine continued to flounder, another person walked up to the group—the exact person he needed at the moment.

"Who's this?" Cassidy affixed her gaze upon Kurt, who automatically wound his fingers through Blaine's when he arrived.

The newcomer looked both startled and miffed. "I could ask you the same question."

Cassidy took note of Kurt's voice and the way that the two boys instinctively gravitated toward each other. Her eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute..."

"Gah!" Alison groaned in exasperation. "Yes, blondie, they're gay! You just came on to a gay guy—a taken one at that. Now can you let me take their order or would you like to continue to make fool of yourself?"

The three in front of the counter stared. Glaring at Cassidy, who returned the look fiercely, Alison flashed the boys a quick smile.

After a long, tense moment, Cassidy dismissed Alison and rolled her eyes onto Blaine. "If you ever want to give the X-chromosome another try..."

"Been there," Kurt muttered.

"Done that," Blaine breathed.

Cassidy stalked off with a huff. The boyfriends turned to Alison. With only a second's hesitation, the three burst out in laughter.

"I go to the bathroom for a minute and you get attacked by the she-wolf," Kurt choked.

Alison had to lean on the counter for support, drying her green eyes on her Lima Bean apron. "Honestly, I don't know who I was more embarrassed for, you or her."

Still scarlet, Blaine tried to fight his giggles. "Seriously, you two, it's not that funny." He flushed darker when their laughter intensified. "I didn't know what to do!"

"Well, you didn't make out with her—I call that progress."

Blaine shoved his sassy boyfriend in the shoulder.

Still chuckling, Alison pushed a medium drip and a nonfat mocha toward the boys. "Honestly, you two are my favorite couple ever. I don't know how I'll survive without your adorableness when you go to New York." She waved Blaine off as he tried to pay. "For your suffering, on the house."

After sticking his tongue out at her momentarily, Blaine thanked the barista and lifted the coffees from the counter. The boys sat at their usual table, Kurt still wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. Blaine nudged his boyfriend's knee with his own. "You don't know how lucky you are. You're so forwardly gay, girls don't hound you all the time. I always have to feel like such a bad guy when I tell them they're asking a guy from the wrong team."

Kurt's chuckles silenced. "At least you can hide it from homophobes. I make it so obvious for them."

Blaine immediately placed his hand over Kurt's on the tabletop. "Hey, that just makes you stronger. You never have to hide who you are—because you are beautiful. They don't matter, Kurt. You're too amazing for them to handle."

Kurt rolled his eyes, but smiled all the same. "You are so corny, Blaine Anderson."

The other boy shrugged. "I try."

The two sipped their coffee, gazing into each other's eyes and tracing patterns on each other's palms with their fingertips. They were speaking silently with their glances, but neither said anything of consequence—merely sweet nothings. Confused girls like Cassidy and ignorant bullies like Azimio faded from their thoughts; there was little room for that in their minds when phrases like too adorable for words and I seriously love him kept drifting across them.

During a particularly intense moment, Kurt made the mistake of trying to take a swallow of his coffee. In his lack of concentration, the boy choked on his drink, causing him to cough and sputter. Blaine reactively crossed over to him, patting his back in concern—but he had to fight the flood of snickers that threatened to break free.

Kurt, however, felt his boyfriend shaking, and turned to glare up at him. "I'm glad you found my near-death experience so hilarious, Blaine."

Blaine took his seat again once Kurt was no longer in semi-mortal peril. "Please, that was nowhere near death. But if you're going to keep choking on things I might be more wary as to what liquids I give you to swallow." The awkward silence was deafening. It took Blaine a fraction of a moment to realize what he just said. "Oh God, that did not come out the way I intended at all."

It was Kurt's turn to giggle at his boyfriend's silliness again. "Relax, Blaine. I understood what you meant, after deciphering your inadvertent 'that's what she said' language choice."

Blaine considered that for a moment. "No, 'that's what she said' doesn't work. It's most definitely 'that's what he said.'"

Kurt rolled his eyes again. "Okay, if our juvenile conversation is over, let's head out. There's a sale at a few stores in the strip mall downtown, and I don't want all the good stuff to go to the soccer moms on budgets."

"Sure thing." Blaine stood up and linked arms with Kurt. The boys left the Lima Bean, waving goodbye to Alison behind the counter and reveling in the joy of being together.

AWKWARDNESS ALL AROUND! I hoped you guys liked this-I mean, I updated this DURING THE WEEK, so you had BETTER like it! *glare*

Just kidding. You are totally free to hate it.

But seriously, I hope you don't.

I don't have much to prattle on about tonight. Everything's pretty mellow right now. Actually, like, fifty people I know are in the throes of medical crises, but I'm pretty much just chillin'. Like a villain. Did you know that for a long time I thought 'villain' was spelled 'villian?'" Vill-ee-an. That's how you'd say that one.

I had Tostitos today.