A/N:
Why am I late with this chapter? Well to start it off, I went to Coachella (HELL YES BEST WEEKEND EVER), took me a whole week of sleeping in bed to nurse the insane crash/hangover/withdrawal, am swamped with school, is dealing being newly single, and in trouble with my parents, yup all that good stuff. It's been a rollercoaster but hey, I pushed through! Even when I should really be studying! Hahaha! Anyway, here it is!

+ nikkasa on tumblr

+ lostconcoctions on My Candy Love

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- Nikki

ALSO! I HIGHLY recommend listening to Femme Fatale by The Velvet Underground before or while reading this chapter to get the full experience. It's a beautiful song and wow, I just love the soundtrack that is happening in Tongue Tied, I want to make a playlist-or is that weird. Anyway, go on and read!

Thirty Seven: Femme Fatale

It was Alzheimer's.

That's what Leigh had told me.

Lysander refused to talk about it anymore, and his brother reassured me that Lys was "just like that" when things got bad.

Just like what?, I asked.

Distant, reserved and stuck in his own mind, Leigh replied.

I couldn't ask any more questions. Knowing that would have to be enough for me.

On the other hand, Leigh couldn't have been any more of the opposite of his little brother. One look at him and I knew something was wrong. He looked disheveled from every angle, like someone always on the verge of tears. I couldn't blame him. I had to even applaud him for not breaking into tears whenever it came up. It was only through Rosalya that I knew he was a mess when he was alone.

Lysander was a different case. He walked like he always had, talked like he did. The most troubled expression he would have—that I'd have to catch on rare moments—only would last a couple of seconds before he was able to shake it off.

But I tried as much as I could. And I knew that I couldn't make him change either, so I did what I could to coax him out of himself. The only hint that he felt something—that there really was a storm in himself—was at night.

In the dark of his room, I felt around for the desk to steady myself. He was already in bed, a bulky wrap under heaps of bedsheets and pillows. As my eyes adjusted to the lack of light, I saw the rise and fall of his breathing on the mattress.

"Lys?" I asked.

There was a shift in the sheets. He was up.

"Lys," I said again.

"You're still here." He said, peering over at me from under the blanket. "I'd say you're a sight for sore eyes if only I could clearly see you."

"I don't think we should be turning the lights on." I chuckled. "Do you mind if I crawl in?"

"Not at all."

Lysander moved to make space for me in the dark. Tucking myself next to him, I almost didn't need the blanket for myself. He was warm enough for the both of us.

"It's Valentines Day." I said, breaking the silence of just his steady breathing.

"Already?" He asked.

I nodded, though he couldn't see with his back facing me. "It's past midnight."

He didn't say anything to it for a while.

I counted.

One…Two…

"Happy Valentines Day, Skylar."

"Happy Valentines, Lys." I replied.

Blinking up at the ceiling, I waited for my eyes to adjust to the dim room. The only source of light was the sliver of pale moonlight peeking through the blinds, but even that barely felt like enough. The silence, Lys' rise and fall of his breaths, the dark, the scent and familiarity of the room; all of it was enough to lull me to sleep.

It was only as my eyes had already shut, as I was on the brink of falling into it, did I feel a shift in the sheets. Warm fingertips seemed cautious at first, coming to touch my torso then retracting, only to come back again and pull away at the last second. I turned my head towards Lys, who was facing me now but had his eyes closed and his features relaxed, and if it weren't for the movement of his hands, I would've thought he was already fast asleep.

I swallowed. Was the boy that still wanted me in there? Because please, god, I hoped he was.

Taking his hand firmly, I pressed it against my skin and brushed my thumb over the curve of his knuckles. He sighed. Gradually, he began to reach for me again and I followed suit, curling into him as he held my body next to his. I couldn't recall anymore when was the last time I had felt his bare skin on my hands and that just reminded me of how long it had been. Too long, obviously.

"Thank you, Skylar" was the last thing Lysander whispered to me before his fingers clasped onto me closer and his face buried into the crook of my neck. Before long, he had finally fallen asleep. I didn't know at all what he was thanking me for. But if I had gotten thanks for just crawling into bed and holding him, I was happy to oblige any day.

—-

When the sun had decided to break through the blinds and wake me up, Lys was still fast asleep. The clock read 10:34 AM and I felt more well-rested than ever. His hands were no longer wrapped around me, and instead he had one arm thrown across his forehead lazily and another across his stomach. I smiled to myself, feeling somewhat stupid for staring at him and his calm face, the white hair and the slightly open lips. I would've kissed him awake if he wasn't the type to protest due to morning breath. Oh and, well, there was that thing about not being my boyfriend too…

Stripping off what I had been wearing the night before, all black from my cotton tank top to the leggings, I fished out a button down dress shirt of Lys and folded the cuffs until I looked more like I was in a makeshift dress instead of playing dress-up with men's clothing. The hallway was quiet and filled with no smells or sounds of any hints that cooking was going on, which was not the best thing to wake up to. But instead, what I did wake up to was much more surprising.

I had found Castiel.

"Oh, you're awake." He said, looking up at me as I stopped by the landing of the stairs to focus my eyes on his read hair.

"I guess so." I replied, tilting my head to the side. Trying to look completely relaxed. Trying to look like I hadn't even thought of my appearance. Trying not to seem like I wanted to run back upstairs, rummage through Leigh's prototype designs of his new women's collection and brush my hair and teeth, spray some perfume and fill out my eyebrows. Totally like I don't care.

"I was just dropping off some sheet music for Lys." Castiel motioned towards the coffee table where, true enough, some stacks of paper were neatly placed.

"Oh." I didn't know what else to reply.

"Sleep well?" He asked.

"Well enough."

Castiel just nodded. The silence between us was heavy, and while I wanted it to end, I didn't want to walk away. And neither did I want him to leave.

"Anyway, I should head out." Castiel seemed to have read my mind and said the exact opposite of what I had hoped for. Great. "Demon's probably wondering why his breakfast isn't out yet."

I nodded.

Castiel rocked back and forth on his heels, but didn't say a word. He just turned around and grabbed his keys from the counter and opened the door before shutting it behind him.

I blinked at the empty foyer.

Had I really just let him get away like that?

It was soon after, too soon when the sound of the lock clicked and his red hair poked through the door again. The silver irises didn't meet mine and instead flickered around the room as if he were looking for something else.

"Do you—uh—want to come?"

My heart jumped.

"To…feed your dog?" I asked.

Just like that, it was silent again. I regretted asking and Castiel just frowned.

"Never mind, that was stupid of me to—"

"No!" I abruptly took a step down, shaking my hand to cut him off. "No, it's not stupid…"

Castiel just looked at me for a second before chortling to himself. "Well alright then, Whitman. Hurry up and put some pants on."

—

Castiel's car did not smell like Castiel's car.

Because I knew Castiel's car always smelled like him. And he smelled like cigarettes and spearmint, like someone who had gotten lost in the forest and came out still fresh as hell with a joint hanging by his lips. But this scent nearly choked me to death and I knew for a fact that she probably infected the nice leather seats of the Corvette.

"It smells like a perfume department in here." I said, trying not to sound as piqued as I actually was.

"Did you want me to roll down the windows." Castiel said. He wasn't asking.

Still, my nose became quickly accustomed to it and after we had pulled onto the main road, I had already forgotten about the scent. Castiel drove in silence and in a straight line. When I noticed he didn't take the shortcut that he normally did, I looked over at him. What was up with that?

"If you're wondering why, it's just that I like this song and I don't want to cut it off short." He was practically reading my mind. Without asking, I reached for the knob and turned the volume up slightly.

It was Femme Fatale by The Velvet Underground.

My stomach began to sink as the lyrics filled my ears, and so did Castiel's soft humming.

Here she comes, you better watch your step

She's going to break your heart in two, it's true

It's not hard to realize

Just look into her false colored eyes

She builds you up to just put you down, what a clown

"You're judging me for listening to this." He said, a lopsided smirk on his lips. My eyebrows rose.

"Am not." I said. "I love this song."

"Okay, then you're judging me for who I'm thinking about when this song plays." He said.

I couldn't hold back the look on my face so instead, I turned to face the window as trees, houses, lamp posts blurred together. Just not to face Castiel.

Cause everybody knows

She's a femme fatale

The things she does to please

She's a femme fatale

She's just a little tease

She's a femme fatale

See the way she walks

Hear the way she talks

I didn't know whether I was lucky or not to know that this song was not for me, at least not to him. I didn't want to be his Femme Fatale, the one that stepped on his heart. But something else pinched at my chest and made it hurt. Maybe it was just that I was becoming slowly irrelevant to him, that I would've been okay even for just a song to make him think about me. Maybe.

Or not.

Who was I kidding?

Castiel didn't get his wish. The song wasn't nearly over and we had reached his place. Instead of getting out the car though, he let it play out. And when I tried to meet his eyes, they looked to be far off. Did he know what he was singing to? The lyrics were too clean cut and he must know that he was walking into something that could never be good for him.

You're put down in her book

You're number thirty seven, have a look

She's going to smile to make you frown, what a clown

Little boy, she's from the street

Before you start, you're already beat

She's going to play you for a fool, yes it's true

But he didn't seem to care.

The small smile on his lips, the one that read that ignorance really was bliss, said it all.

Inside his place, I followed Castiel inside. I made my way to the couch and peered over at him as he filled up the huge silver bowl for Demon, who acted more like a baby than a scary guard dog. He panted jumped Castiel to lick his face.

"Down!" Cas was laughing, pushing off Demon and his tongue. "Or I'm not taking your for a walk today."

As if Demon understood exactly what he said, the dog got off and sat obediently as Cas turned up the faucet and set down his water.

"I didn't realize how boring it would be that I invited you over."

I blinked.

Castiel was talking to me.

"O-Oh!" I cleared my throat. "No I'm not bored."

"Where'd your sense of humour go, Whitman?" Castiel chuckled. I got a glimpse again of the boy I knew just then and it made my heart jump. "Obviously my company is entertainment enough."

"It's alright." I shrugged, smiling.

"Alright, huh?" Castiel slumped down on the couch next to me. Now that it was just him, I recognized the scent: the spearmint and the nicotine in a nice mix. He had two cookies in hand.

"Agh!" I nearly launched for one, but not before Castiel veered them away from me and took bites from both.

"Whoa, slow down, you thought these were for you?" He said, snickering with crumbs at his lips. "Get your own, Whitman."

"I'm a guest at your house!" I demanded mostly out of despair. My tummy was empty and a cookie would've made a great breakfast.

"Fine." Castiel stuffed one first into his mouth then chucked the other into mine. "Enjoy."

I nodded and laughed as I tried chew on the pastry. God, I loved cookies.

Afterwards, the same silence fell on us again. I loathed it.

"I haven't seen you in a while." I said, breaking it up.

He looked at me. "Hmm?"

"You know it's true." I said, swallowing. "I mean I see you around but I don't actually see you anymore."

"You've been busy." Castiel shrugged his shoulders.

"I've been busy?" I repeated stupidly. Now that's a stupid excuse.

"Alright, fine. We both have things going on now." Castiel said. "It's not that hard to believe."

"It was never like this before when—" I looked down at my hands.

"Yes, Whitman, it was." He cut in. He wasn't looking at me either. "You just didn't notice."

"I didn't…notice?"

"This is just how it was when you and Lys got together. Both of you would get lost in your world world. It's the same thing all over again except this time, neither of us has much down time." He said it so plainly, like he was explaining a lesson to a student and not just talking to me.

I bit at my lip. There wasn't much for me to say.

"Lys is going through something." I said, trying to match his tone of voice.

"Is that why you two broke up?" He asked. That's right. I never explained that to him. But was I about to?

"No."

"Then why?"

The contractions in my chest were far from regular. My palms were sweaty now and I felt my toes curl.

What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say?

Lysander and I rushed too fast—we weren't working out like we had planned—we wanted to start over—we—…I…

It's you, Cas.

It's you and you don't even know it.

"I don't know where to start." I said first. "There are…just too many reasons why."

Castiel didn't seem to ask anymore about the reasons for why we broke up. I didn't know whether I was thankful for it or not.

"But you're fixing it, right?" He said. "Because you're going to keep that promise you made me."

That promise. The one I made to him when it was just us two, out, where were we again? At a diner? Maybe? My memory didn't serve me too well anymore.

'I looked down at the table.

"Back to you and Lys now." Castiel said. "If you really mean what you say, then promise me this: Don't break his heart."

My heart suddenly jumped right to my throat. Did he think I was out to break Lysander's heart? A memory suddenly popped in my head from a long time ago, when Lysander told me Castiel fell for this girl who, in the end, used him and broke him and changed him. And that I reminded him of that girl, that's why Castiel's been trying to distance himself and Lysander from me as much as he could. He didn't want his best friend hurt like how he was.

Now, I realized that I was right where Castiel was afraid I'd be; in Lysander's own heart.

"I promise." I said. And it was a promise I was going to keep, no matter what. If that's what Castiel really thought of me, someone who would just break you and use you, I was going to try and change that, whatever it took.

That promise?

I was not to break Lysander's heart, that much I remember. I looked away from Castiel. And I didn't know why. Had I already broken my promise? Had I already messed up more than I thought?

"Yes." I nearly choked on my words. "I'm going to keep it."

Castiel seemed appalled at my answer himself. He nodded.

"Thanks, Whitman."

Now it was my turn to ask questions.

"What's going on with her, Cas?" I asked him. His silver eyes flickered with a glint that I used to see when someone mentioned my name, or when we'd lock gazes. Now it was for someone else.

"I don't know." Castiel sighed, running fingers through the fringe that hooded his forehead. "I really don't."

"How can you not know?" I asked.

"It's something…again." Castiel said. "I don't know what—but it's not nothing."

"She mentioned a promise too." I couldn't look at him when I chose my words this way. "And you did."

"You're prying."

"So what?" I smirked defeatedly. What did I have to lose now anyway?

"Always paying attention to detail, I see." Castiel seemed to be commending me. "Alright, since you want to know so bad. Before she moved away, she promised she'd come back. She didn't say when or for how long she'd be gone, but she promised she'd be mine again if when that time comes, I wasn't someone else's. And it just so happens that I wasn't."

Things began to fall into place in my head, like a tightly cut puzzle that needed just a couple more hints to put together.

"But…the thing with Nath…" My words sounded like soft mews, almost like I was murmuring just to myself.

"We talked about that." He replied. "It's just what I thought. Bristol came onto her—I mean, who wouldn't? And tried to blame it on her—typically."

My hands tightened into fists. Nathaniel was not the type to do that. But—But what did I know before I arrived?

That's right. Nothing.

What did I really know about Nate? About Deborah? About anyone?

"But it's good now, isn't it Whitman?" Castiel finally met my eyes and this time, his expression was one that was much lighter. He looked…content. And I couldn't help but feel somewhat better that he was like this. He wasn't stone cold, he wasn't guarded, he was just satisfied and.

And I could never be the person to take it away from him.

'Cause everybody knows

She's a femme fatale

The things she does to please

She's a femme fatale

She's just a little tease

She's a femme fatale

See the way she walks

Hear the way she talks

And though the song was over long ago, I couldn't help but hear it in my own head.

Castiel knew exactly what he was walking into. Exactly what he was doing. And still, he had that look on his face like he was determined to see it through. My throat felt tight.

'Cause everybody knows

She's a femme fatale

The things she does to please

She's a femme fatale

She's just a little tease

She's a femme fatale

Ooh ooh oh

She's a femme fatale

Ooh ooh oh

—

The moon was looming right above us and the air was chilly—in a good way. Borrowing Castiel's coat had to be the smartest thing I had done today, and while we had spent the day hopping around to eat, I was still up for more.

My belly was filled with the hotdog from earlier, a s'mores cupcake, Chinese dumplings, cookies, pretzel bites—you name it. But I was content knowing that Castiel was willing to spend hours on end just eating with me, telling jokes, talking, God, just talking—and singing. He did a lot of singing when I asked. And while I wouldn't have gone so far as to call him god-like as I did with Lysander's voice, there was something completely and utterly compelling about Castiel's. It sounded raw and smooth, but rough when he wanted it to be. Low when he didn't try—but actually he had an impressive range when he did. His humming was one that could lull anyone into a trance, and when he smiled as he sang—there was no mistaking the change it made.

"It's Valentine's Day." I said to Castiel this time. We sat at a nearby bench, both of us licking our individual ice creams from the cones.

"It'll be over soon." He said, checking his watch. Midnight would come in around half an hour, I guessed.

"Why'd you spend it with me?" I asked him.

"Why'd you spend it with me?" He asked right back.

We both turned to each other, cream on our upper lips—-brown on mine and pink on his—-then broke into a smile.

"To answer your question, I think I spent it with you because…" Castiel began. "Well, because I knew you'd pay for this ice cream—"

"Oh wow—"

"And second, I guess it was just something I've wanted to do for a while."

My breathing hitched.

"You've wanted to spend Valentine's Day with me?" I asked him.

"I've wanted to spend a lot of days with you, Whitman." He said. "Well, I did."

"Oh."

"We can't really do that much now, can we?"

"No." I shook my head. "No, I guess we can't."

"Then let me enjoy this." Castiel bit into the cone and licked up any melting ice cream that began to ooze over his fingers. He inched ever so slightly closer to me, and on the bench I felt his right hand graze over mine. I swallowed.

He didn't hold it. He just kept our pinkies fumbling until they were hooked.

We both made promises. Too many, I think. I promised I wouldn't break Lys' heart. He promised Deborah he would be hers. We promised each other to let the other in—no matter how raw and dirty we were inside. We promised this, and that, here and there.

And when I felt his finger looped around mine it just reminded me.

All the promises pooled into a sign, practically yelling at us and putting it in plain sight, as if the gods just wanted to to say one thing:

Castiel Lennox Statham and I would never be together.

Reply time:

1. ANinjasGirl- oooh I love seeing you all feisty and angry about this! But yes, I agree with you and also at the same time, I feel for Lys. I've been through that whole thing with my (now) ex and I hated it. Though also I am guilty. Thank you for the review by the way! Mwah I love it. And ugh it makes me so angry at the same time at what is going on, and I'm hoping the duality of this story comes out while this is happening!

2. Spark Firebug - CASTIEL HAS ARRIVED

3. Madellane - Oh god and here I am SUPER late. I am so sorry. And while I'm not out to predict Lys' arc...that would be SO cool. Tbh I'm very behind on the episodes...I just haven't had much time for MCL and it's killing me! What kind of a Candy am I! And yes, I'm so glad you have that opinion about Skye being wrong. I think it just gives this story more dimension! Like Skye isn't always going to be right, neither are the boys, sometimes actually I HATE Skye and sometimes I just love her. But that's the whole fun in this! She's human and she just feels what she feels, sometimes wrongly. Hopefully Lys and her figure this all out though.

4. Blueberrytears - It's okay! And here I am...SO late on updating, should be doing homework but instead...writing Tongue Tied! Ohohoho. Just read my comment up because I explain how much I kind of like that people think Skye might be wrong (the one to Madellane) and I think that makes this story so much fun for me to write! Heehee. Anyway, thank you for your reviews and I hope to see you again for this chapter! Mwah

- Nikkasa