(A/N) Apologies for missing two upload days last week; I flew to Las Vegas but forgot to bring my computer. That gave me some time to think things over and I'll likely be doing some work in the near future to improve the earlier story, specifically Deihaka (who's a weak character and a Kakashi copypasta) and some of the fights. I've also gotten conflicting messages on what exactly makes a missing-ninja S-Rank, so I'm scaling off of the akatsuki for that. Sorry once again for missing two days!
Ninja Profile: The Takikage
Ninjutsu: ?
Genjutsu: S
Taijutsu: ?
Specialties: Jashinism, Immortality, Blessed Water
Description: The Takikage is a man who might have once been of average height but is now stooped with age, long hair and beard gone white and eyes murky from the (if reports are to be believed) over a full century of life he's had. He is perpetually clad in a long black cloak with a red Jashinist symbol that has since become the typical garb for a Hidden Waterfall shinobi. His expression and voice are almost always strained with zeal and glee at whatever religious mandate he's about to utter, while his movements are quick and energetic beyond his supposed age.
Origin: The Takikage has, apparently, been active in several lands for generations, but it was only recently in the Hidden Waterfall village that he began to gain serious traction. Strained economically by the lack of good ninja work and already weakened by several earlier events, the Village Hidden in the Waterfalls was quickly converted to his religion of Jashinism and in a rarely-found peaceful transition of power, the village's previous leader stepped aside to allow him to become the Takikage. After he assumed the role, the village underwent serious changes- a state-mandated religion, massively stricter policies on crime and heresy, and a stronger, if not larger, military force. Since then, any spies of other villages have either been rooted out and executed or converted to his faith, so much of the ninja world keeps a careful eye on the Hidden Waterfall, just in case.
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The ninja cities were typically named as Hidden Villages because in the past, they had been just that- hidden from the public eye. However, with the passage of time, the locations of most of them had become common knowledge, although they did keep the 'hidden' moniker. But as Kame looked up at the monstrously huge tree shooting multiple kilometers into the sky, he refused to believe that anything about the Village Hidden in the Waterfalls had ever been hidden. Outlined by the setting sun that gave it a bright corona, he'd been able to see it from kilometers away and had been moving steadily towards it for the last hour.
As if to add insult to injury, the wooden goliath was a complete eyesore. Despite the descriptions of vibrant and living beauty that Kame had read, the Hidden Waterfall's tree was actually a sickly grey skeleton devoid of leaves. The city built around and even up onto the tree wasn't much better, occasional lights proving the exception to a mostly dark cluster of buildings. The village was about a normal size overall, stretching in a wide circle around the tree's base, but it was nowhere even close to the Rain or Whirlpool in terms of development; few of the buildings were more than two stories high.
As Kame and Haku started down the long slope towards the village's border, even the thick forest that filled every inch of the country started to change. Like the larger tree, the woods looked either dead or dying, leaves dropping to the ground and creating a layer of decay. This effect grew more and more pronounced as they neared their destination, and by the time that the village gates came into view every tree was a husk.
Whatever conversation they'd been making became as dead as the landscape when they crossed a small bridge over a river. The water that a few miles back had been sparkling and clear was now moving slowly and silently, turned reddish by the sunset. Haku hurried a bit more and Kame did the same, disturbed by the thought of taking too long and having to walk back through the eerie patch of woods in the dark.
The increased speed meant that there was still light by the time that they reached the Hidden Waterfall's main gate. Orochimaru had told them that transformations weren't necessary for the Waterfall visit, but Kame was still a bit antsy when two robed forms dashed down into the road and spoke: "You've been sent by Orochimaru?"
Before responding, Kame briefly looked over the Waterfall shinobi. They were both in flowing robes reminiscent of the pictures of the Akatsuki that he'd seen, except theirs were pure black with no red clouds. They each wore red headbands with the Hidden Waterfall's symbol on them, but besides that the only real markings on them were the red circle and triangle marks emblazoned on the chests of their robes. That's a Jashinist symbol, Kame remembered as he cleared his throat before responding in what he hoped to be a confident voice: "Yes we have. Please take us to-"
"You're to follow us." Evidently he wasn't confident-sounding enough, because the Waterfall ninja simply talked right over him and turned to lead them through the now-opening gates. Kame swallowed his annoyance at being dismissed so casually and strode past the huge wooden doors into the Hidden Waterfall itself.
While the Hidden Rain had filled him with unease with its unnatural inhabitants and dark atmosphere, for reasons that Kame couldn't put his finger on the Hidden Waterfall filled him with real terror. Stepping over the threshold and into the Jashinists' territory gave him an immediate and palpable sense of horror that only intensified further as he moved deeper. This is almost as bad as when Orochimaru's upset with me, he thought. It's almost like the entire city has strong killing intent.
Even more frustrating was the fact that he had no clue where this feeling was coming from. The wooden buildings were completely normal-looking and, despite the odd uniform, most of the Waterfall shinobi were as well. The civilians were a mixed lot- the majority of them were behaving normally, but a few acted oddly skittish, while another minority of them seemed to be happily staring at Kame with glassy eyes. This last group grew in number as they neared the center of the village until most of the civilians were smiling blankly towards them, with a couple of them even trailing a good distance behind the Sound ninja.
Kame froze up a little bit as he realized that they weren't heading towards the Takikage's tower- in fact, he couldn't see a Takikage tower anywhere. The Waterfall shinobi ahead of them was making straight for what appeared to be some sort of gathering place, surrounded by a thick crowd of civilians and shinobi alike all murmuring and shifting around. Once they grew close enough for the crowd to begin parting around them, he heard a zealous voice that he'd only heard once before: "Those who deny the one true God will not be tolerated!"
A roar of approval came from the crowd, although Kame noticed a few restrained faces among the sea of bloodthirsty ones. The Takikage's voice kept coming, sounding more and more intense: "We see the light of salvation and our vigilance will save us from being dragged into the darkness!" Another roar, even more vicious, shook Kame a little more than he thought it would. "When heretics snap at our heels, distracting us from the true path, will we fall victim?"
As the gathered masses shouted "No!' in unison, Kame finally breached through to the front and nearly ran into the railing that held the crowd back. Off the edge of the railing, the stone ground of the village abruptly dropped off into a wide, clear pool of water that disappeared off underneath the roots. The pool was hemmed in on three sides by the tree's wooden roots and seemed to be fed by a waterfall that poured down through a hole in the tree itself.
Kame gasped and unconsciously leaned forward a bit over the railing as he saw the ten-meter-by-ten-meter metal platform that was suspended over the water, attached by chains on the four corners to roots. On the platform itself stood the black-robed old man Kame recognized as the Takikage, as well as another desperate-looking woman in civilian clothing but also wearing a Hidden Stone headband. The Takikage had the crowd whipped up into a fever pitch with his proclamations, but had slowed down and spoke now in a gentler tone. "However, when I look upon this nonbeliever who has rejected the will of Jashin," That confirms it, Kame thought. "-All I can feel is pity."
The crowd went back to murmuring, apparently split between the fervor his earlier words had inspired and the new message he gave them now. The woman staggered a bit, clearly sobbing and exhausted, but the pity vanished from the Takikage's voice and was replaced once again with zealous anger: "The heretic's crimes are clear, as is her punishment- those who cannot unite with Jashin in this life, must be forced to join him in the next!" Kame felt the crowd surge and realized just how skilled of an orator the man was; he somehow sounded reasonable and gentle while talking about killing someone and the crowd ate it up.
"But while Jashin is not a merciful god; I am a kind man. This pitiful creature's life may have been wasted in Jashin's eyes, but let her death not also be so!" The crowded people all cheered their assent while the woman paled in horror. The Takikage turned to face her and continued in an even more fervent voice: "Oh Jashin, purveyor of our realm and ruler of the next, grant me your blessing. Lend your power to my hand so I may create true art from the dirt and filth of our world!" He thrust an open palm with fingers curled forward towards the now-standing woman and in the air before it, a dark red symbol of a circle with three triangles within flashed briefly.
Immediately after the flicker of Jashin's symbol, another human figure appeared in a similar flare of the dark red light. This one was revealed to be a tall man wearing the same Hidden Stone headband as the woman, but clad in shinobi clothing and a Stone chunin's vest. His face swiftly moved from impassiveness to confusion and then to happiness as he looked at the woman: "Mori! It's you, but how am I…"
"No…" the woman, Mori, breathed. "No. Haru… you died." She trembled slightly and moved forward a few steps, moving from the far left of the platform more towards the center. "We married for a week, and then… this isn't possible. I watched you die!"
"I remember being-" The man's voice choked off.
"Servant of Jashin, your path is clear." The Takikage's eyes glinted with mad glee and a tendril of darkness ran through the air into the back of the new man, who flinched and collapsed before rising to his feet once more. His eyes now had symbols of Jashin in black over red irises and rather than continue talking, he drew a kunai.
"Mori, you… I can't stop myself! Mori, run, now!" The woman stumbled backwards from Haru's charge, evading a few swings of his kunai. "Go! Get out of here!" She turned to look towards the root as if judging the jump distance, which proved to be a terrible mistake as Haru made several handsigns and then spoke through gritted teeth: "Lightning Style: Shock Prison- No!"
Despite his protest, it was too late and a ball of Stone rushed forward, homing in on Mori. She tried to dodge but it altered course and hit her dead-on before expanding across her body and apparently paralyzing her. After dropping to her knees, she sagged forward slightly and begged: "Haru, why…"
"I can't…" He stepped forward and put one hand behind her head, holding the kunai in the other. "No… please, whatever's going on, stop it now…" but the despair in his voice didn't change anything. The kunai was pulled back slowly and then shoved directly into Mori's chest, causing her to cough up a splatter of blood. Despite the dark symbols, Haru's eyes held absolute horror at his actions, while Mori's own face was locked in an expression of fear and sorrow.
For an incredibly long moment, they remained like that, and then finally Haru disappeared in another flash and Mori flopped onto the ground. Her blood ran off the sides of the platform and stained the water far more than it should have, little explosions of red spreading with every drop. Another robed figure dropped down beside her, picked her up, and dropped her whole body over the edge, but rather than simply sinking into the water, when she met the clear fluid her entire corpse dissolved into red that spread and stained the water into a color that Kame knew all too well.
That's… that's the same color as the river that we walked by on the way here, he thought incredulously. Even more unnatural, the red color somehow ran up the waterfall and into the tree, which the Takikage looked at and then smiled with glee. "The sacrifice pleases our lord Jashin!"
This round of roaring from the crowd was much more zealous than angry this time, while the Takikage smiled wider than ever while leaning back and raising his arms: "Praise Jashin!"
"Praise Jashin!" the crowd howled right back.
Kame looked towards Haku, who seemed just as horrified as he was by the events. She met his eyes and then mouthed, 'We should leave'. Before he could nod his agreement to that assertion, a cold hand seized the back of his neck and he flinched at the equally cold voice coming from right beside his ear: "Praise Jashin."
Swallowing, he turned slowly to see a robed Waterfall ninja with their hood up and shadowing their face. Unfortunately, the man decided to pull said hood down, which immediately led to Kame wishing the he hadn't as the disgusting mess that was his face was revealed. Long stitches ran from the corners of his mouth to his ears in a grotesque mockery of a smile, while another long stitch trailed up from his chin to his forehead, splitting his face in half, and ended in another symbol of Jashin etched onto his forehead in thread.
"P- Praise Jashin," Kame stammered, hoping that that was what the man wanted to hear. Rather than sticking around and showing his reaction, the hideous Waterfall ninja simply threw a long blade towards the tree with apparent ease. The projectile flew forward faster than Kame's eyes could track and impaled itself nearly a foot deep in the tree's bark, leaving behind a long thread that trailed back into his sleeve. With another powerful yank, the man launched himself along after his weapon and ended up standing atop it with crossed arms.
Kame recovered enough to start thinking more analytically, and two major details suddenly registered in his mind: Firstly, that stitching was exactly like the descriptions of Kakuzu, a Waterfall missing-ninja and prominent member of the akatsuki, and secondly, that weapon was the Stitching Blade, one of the seven swords of the Hidden Mist. When we attacked, Orochimaru said that all seven belonged to the Mist, Kame thought, so… does that mean the Waterfall recently captured one?
"Master," the man said to the Takikage, "Orochimaru's sheep have come."
The Takikage turned back towards the crowd, eyes finally settling on Kame, then smiled and continued in the same announcer's voice. "Jashin's will has been carried out and you may all return to your homes happy in the knowledge that you witnessed such glory." The crowd rapidly dispersed but Kame and Haku remained motionless, at least until the guards ushered them towards the side.
A short walk later, Kame found himself standing before a cavern carved into the tree itself, dimly lit and shrouded almost completely in darkness. He hesitated before entering through the hole, but the guard grunted in annoyance and shoved him forward regardless. Once inside the cavern, he actually found himself appreciating it- the huge and intricate carvings lining the walls were impressive to say the least, depicting people with weapons buried inside of them or missing their body parts streaming along a path towards something at the very end of the chamber.
Once they got closer, Kame saw what it was- a huge statue carved from dead wood of a humanoid yet demonic creature in a sitting position. One massive eye with Jashin's symbol as its pupil gazed forward and its legs kneeled, a throne placed between them. Each arm reached forward with a flat and open palm, and on the palms stood two figures while a third figure sat in the throne itself. A pool of the bloodstained water formed a moat of sorts, over which there was a long bridge that Kame and Haku marched across until that stood on a round platform with the three figures to the front and either side of them.
The guard backed off into the shadows, but Kame noticed with a slight chill that they weren't alone- tens of the guards lined the walls, dark robes blending in but not completely hiding them. His focus was redirected when the form on the throne spoke in the aged-yet-vigorous voice of the Takikage: "So Orochimaru has come calling for his favor. Tell me, misguided young ones, what has your apostate master sent you to request?"
"Uh…" Kame tried to think quickly. Orochimaru had said that he'd done the Waterfall some service, so they'd likely help in order to repay their debt. "I want- er, Orochimaru wants you to aid us in our assault on the Village Hidden in the Valley. He said that you should honor the debt that-"
The Takikage waved a hand and Kame immediately quieted. "Orochimaru is a heretic, and any agreement he believes he made is of little consequence. Those who spit on Jashin are not worthy of any honor."
Kame swallowed, formulating possible arguing points in his mind- however, at Haku's next words, any planning he was doing instantly fell apart. "Like that woman? Was she unworthy of your honor?" Her tone was clearly accusatory. "Is that why you killed-"
"Silence." The form on the right spoke in the cold tone Kame remembered as the Stitching Blade user's from earlier. "If any more heresy passes through your lips, I'll sew them shut."
"Calm yourself, Sutetchi," the Takikage said in a placating voice. "They may be nonbelievers, but their youth is apparent- they haven't rejected Jashin, merely never known his embrace."
The person to their left, someone Kame didn't recognize by voice or silhouette, chipped in their own opinion in a soft and flowery tone: "Maybe you two'll feel a little better if you know that Mori was a spy for the Stone?"
Strangely enough, that did ease Kame's heart a bit, but the Takikage once again overruled his subordinate. "That has no bearing on her passing." Turning back to Kame and Haku, he continued in a teacher's explanatory and patient voice: "Mori was someone who'd seen and rejected the Will of Jashin, damning her to an eternity of suffering for her neglect. I gave her a death that pleased Jashin, ensuring that she would be judged favorably and granting her entrance to the perfection available only to the Blessed of Jashin."
"But you brought back someone she loved- you made them both suffer. Why does Jashin want you to hurt people?" Haku wasn't relenting, even though Kame was yanking slightly on her arm, terrified of the consequences that the crazed religious lunatics might inflict upon them.
The Takikage's mouth curved into a smile and he leaned back in his chair. "You presume much to ask for the secrets of the Will of Jashin, but I find no greater pleasure than in spreading the words of ultimate truth. Jashin is God, the one true God, and He rules the next world while watching over this filthy and transient waste that we occupy now. In His true domain, achievable only through death, people may find true salvation and happiness or everlasting torment. Jashin is not merciful, and those who walked lives ignorant or even insolent towards Him are punished severely, while those who place their faith in Him are rewarded more richly than any mind could comprehend.
"Above all else, Jashin is all-knowing, and He sees everything that happens in our material world. Death can be terrible or beautiful, and the difference is everything, because while an ignorant heretic's death displeases Jashin, the deaths that embody artful perfection can redeem even a lost soul." That's what he was doing to that woman, Kame thought with a chill. "Mori was doomed, but by giving her a poetic death, I rescued her in the eyes of Jashin. Because of my faith, I have been given the power to make his will a reality, and I do so with the strongest convictions, as do the honored First and Second Acolytes," the Takikage's long speech finally winded down.
"But how-" Kame got sucked into Haku's reckless questioning as he considered all the information laid before him. "How do you know all this to be true?" That's always been my problem with religion, he thought, the whole idea of putting my faith in something that can't be proved wasn't ever appealing to me.
"You dare to question-" Sutetchi growled.
"Sutetchi, enough," the Takikage said. "I know this to be true because I have stood before Jashin himself, and He has given me powers beyond what humanity could accomplish, as He has done with First Acolyte Sutetchi and Second Acolyte Yudoku. Our spreading of salvation would not be possible without His blessing." So does that mean that… is Jashin the real God? But…
Kame shook himself back into the task at hand. "Orochimaru is intent on killing the Tanikage, and we could seriously use your help in doing that."
"He's attacking the Hidden Valley? That's a lot of souls that might get wasted, Master," Yudoku warned.
"Ugh, they're undeserving of Jashin's blessing," Sutetchi complained.
The Takikage seemed to absorb the two differing opinions, consider for a while, and then finally delivered his answer first to Sutetchi: "Forget not that the brush with which you paint the blessed deaths is in your possession thanks only to Orochimaru's aid." Then turning to Yudoku, he spoke more agreeably: "You're correct, but remember that we cannot hope to save every soul." Kame shuddered as he realized just how secure in his motivations the Takikage really was; he truly believed that he was a champion saving the eternal souls of everyone he killed. Finally turning towards the two Sound ninja, he tilted his head slightly. "The Tanikage is the greatest evil of our world; someone who has inartfully slaughtered more lives than any other mortal. To see the world rid of him is indeed something that Jashin would be glad of…
"The Waterfall will aid you in your assault," the Takikage decided. "Sutetchi, lead the third platoon in support of Orochimaru's forces when they attack…"
"At sunset in three days," Kame supplied helpfully.
"You may rely on the Waterfall to lend their assistance in the endeavor," the Takikage smiled. He might have gone on for another monologue about the many benefits of Jashinism, but at that moment a dark-robed figure dashed into the room and spoke in Sutetchi's ear hurriedly.
Sutetchi nodded and then turned to the Takikage: "Master, several Stone ninja have arrived in an ill-fated rescue mission."
"Give them the same honours as their comrade," the Takikage said, the gleeful zeal back in his voice. He rose and disappeared behind the statue, so Kame darted off after Sutetchi with a morbid curiosity and noted Haku doing the same.
As they leaped across the rooftops towards a minor scuffle at the border, Sutetchi spoke in the same cold voice back towards them: "Do not interfere. I'll give them a death that will make Jashin proud, but if you interfere you might hurt them forever."
Kame nodded even though the man couldn't see him, still unsure about Jashin but more than willing to obey the orders of his host. When they arrived at the battle, Kame saw a group of three Stone ANBU launching several elemental jutsu towards cloaked Waterfall shinobi and maintaining a sort of standoff for the moment. That all changed as Sutetchi jumped straight into the battle and onto a piece of clay on the ground, drawing out a gleeful shout from one of the Stone ninja: "Ha! Wrong move, idiot, now explode!"
The clay detonated, enveloping Sutetchi in a fireball of power, but when it cleared he was left standing there and completely unharmed, although his cloak had been reduced to shreds. Now the imposing man- no, child was left fully revealed, and his hands and feet weren't actually his hands and feet. The small form of a nine-or-ten-year-old boy had long threads extending from his arms and legs to make him seem larger than he actually was, but in truth Sutetchi was only maybe 4'3". Even his voice, which before had intimidated Kame, was now significantly less imposing when coming from such a small body: "Today, you will meet Jashin."
The threads retracted into the stitched lining Sutetchi's body, leaving him a shirtless and scrawny-looking child wearing a shin-length black cloth around his waist. As he lowered himself into a combat stance and drew the Stitching Blade, Kame noticed that he had stitched lines in tally marks all over his back; thirty-seven in total. The ANBU seemed taken aback for the moment, which cost the detonater dearly when the needle-like Stitching Blade was flung right under his guard, through his thigh and into the ground on the other side, leaving a trailing thread that led back to Sutechi.
Sutetchi charged around the man, who was uselessly hacking away at the thread stuck in his leg, then retrieved the sword and threw it once more. In the process, one of the other ANBU sent a stone spear flying towards him and landed a direct hit through his chest- but it was ineffective. He yanked the spear out and kept moving around the now doubly injured ANBU, entangling him with two non-lethal puncture wounds and wrapping his arms but avoiding any lethal damage.
As the Waterfall's First Acolyte picked up the Stitching Blade, Kame noticed that the other Waterfall ninja were hanging back and seemingly enjoying the show. Sutetchi turned back to the two still-alive Hidden Stone ANBU, who were each readying their own jutsu, and Kame noted that the stitched tally marks on his back had been reduced to thirty-six in number. For some reason, he then launched the Stitching Blade skyward and stood still with arms crossed. The two ANBU finished up almost simultaneously, shouting in tandem: "Lightning Style-" and "Fire Style-"
They were cut off, though, when the Stitching Blade fell down on the opposite side of them and Sutetchi somehow disappeared and reappeared at its location. The thread attached to his arm seemed to follow the course of his teleportation, also appearing in a straight line that took it right through the stomachs of both Stone ANBU and stopping their jutsu. Now the thread was incapacitating one and punched through two more, and although all three of them were struggling against it, Sutetchi raised the needlelike weapon with a euphoric look. "Oh almighty Jashin, please accept this meager sacrifice in your name!"
Then he plunged it straight through his own chest and heart, and all three ANBU made choking noises before stopping their struggles and collapsing. He let go of the sword and it whipped back along its path, punching back through the corpses as its attached thread was sucked back into his hand and eventually returning to his grip. Kame noticed three more small lines appearing in the childlike First Acolyte's back, bringing the total up to thirty-nine, as he sheathed the Stitching Blade once more and walked off towards the town. "Jashin is pleased!"
A cheer went up from the nearby Waterfall ninja, and Kame could see why- while macabre and definitely unnecessarily complicated, the way he'd woven together the battlefield and finished all three enemies in a single stroke had been beautiful. An artful death would be pleasing to-
"Ugh!" He shook his head in a vain attempt to clear it of the dangerous thoughts, which seemed to draw the attention of Sutetchi.
"Was something about that displeasing to you?" Despite his childlike appearance, Sutetchi's voice did an excellent job of promising terrible things to come if Kame confirmed that he'd shaken away thoughts of Jashin.
What's a good excuse, here? Kame thought about the situation, and he realized that something actually was off about the whole fight. Nothing about any ANBU that he'd ever read or experienced had involved poorly-thought-out frontal assaults, except for when there was an ulterior motive… "I think this was a distraction."
"You thought right." The soft and kind voice of Yudoku, the Second Acolyte, trailed in from behind them. Kame turned to see the person he'd previously known as only a silhouette, now revealed in the fading sunset light as a little girl. Despite being paler than normal and speaking with wisdom beyond her years, she (unlike Sutetchi) was otherwise apparently a normal-looking little girl. However, behind her walked a ten-foot-long salamander with another Stone ANBU on its back, this one literally frothing at the mouth and moaning in pain. "But I made sure that our friend is gonna make it to heaven."
Once more, Kame shuddered at the thought- an entire village of shinobi confident that every enemy they killed would end up with eternal happiness. For some reason, the thought unnerved him to his very core. Sutetchi was unimpressed, and for the first time he seemed to act a little bit more like the age he looked: "I got three of them in the time it took you to get one, Yudoku."
In comparison, Yudoku just seemed to speak with even more adult words and mannerisms: "Yours just died in a fleeting instant, but mine is going to live for three whole weeks on the edge of death. Jashin's grace will go to me!"
"Nuh-uh." Sutetchi crossed his arms. "You drag this stuff out way too long."
"And you get it over with way too fast." Yudoku turned and began to walk away, followed by Sutetchi and all of the Waterfall ninja. Kame and Haku seemed to be gone from their minds already, so with a quick shared glance and a shrug they walked to the main road and then off towards Orochimaru's base.
Along the way, Kame felt the urge to finally get a weight off of his chest and tell Haku something. "Haku, I need to tell you… when I first started to help you, it was because-" but before he could mention the genjutsu, his throat closed up. Come on, he thought, grow a pair. Just tell her, now! It's not fair to let her think that-
But it's not fair to take away her trust in her only friend. Kame bit his lip, unable to make himself admit to his lack of virtue. I can pretend it's selfless, but… I'm hiding the truth from her, and that's not an honorable thing. If I can't even he a good person to her, then- he realized with a lot of mixed emotions that Haku was his moral last stand. Every time he'd felt himself start to get swamped with doubts and every time he'd wondered if he was a good person, Haku had been the solid ground that he'd rested his peace of mind on. "I was a bully before and I'm a criminal now. I've never been a good person," he finished lamely.
"Actually, Kame…" Haku's expression, scarily enough, mirrored his own mental state. With worry, bitterness, and indecision mixing together on her face, she finally seemed to gather herself and continued speaking. "The… the night before you and me went to meet Shira, I…" she trailed off, and Kame knew why. That's when she…
He suddenly felt like his throat was dry and wanted to say something, anything, but was terrified of saying something wrong. He didn't dare risk telling her what he knew, or risk scaring her into not mentioning it at all, so he held his tongue and hoped. Seconds stretched on until eventually, she cleared her throat and set her gaze straight ahead away from his eyes before speaking in a slightly hoarse voice. "That night when Tetsute kicked me out of the restaurant," and I watched it happen, Kame added, "When I went home, I… I wasn't thinking, and I… just gave up and thought that, if my whole life was gonna be the same crappy loneliness, then maybe…"
Her voice had gone from ragged but firm to an ashamed whisper as she finally put the dreaded memory into words: "I tried to kill myself, Kame. I was lucky that Gaara came and saved me, because if he hadn't…" Then what? Kame thought somewhat harshly. Maybe you wouldn't be running around the nations as a-
He silenced those thoughts immediately, because as bad as this situation was, it was far better than living on with Haku dead because of his own negligence. Haku had stopped talking, and when he glanced over to her, her face was flushed red and she had her lips pressed together in shame. Finally, she spoke once more, still avoiding his eyes and using a weak voice, "Kame, since you helped me find Shira, I've been happier than I can remember being. I was so sure that I didn't want to go on with my life, but it's because of all the ways you helped me that I'm standing here alive. We might be in a shitty place right now, but you helped show me that being in a crappy situation in the present is no reason to throw away your future. As far as I'm concerned, you're the best person I've ever met, and no matter what happens that's not going to change"
"No, just because I didn't leave you alone doesn't make me-" Kame froze as, for the third time since they'd left the Hidden Leaf, Haku moved in front of him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. His voice fell away and he at first hesitantly and then forcefully returned the hug, laying his head beside hers and letting out a deep breath that he hadn't known he'd been holding.
"Stop blaming yourself and just accept it, okay?" Haku's voice was no longer fragile, but it remained gentle and amazingly personal as it came from just beside his ear. "You're nice, and funny, and you helped me when others wouldn't, and Orochimaru can't take that away from you."