Since, I've last updated:
#1: I saved a baby bunny from being eaten by a cat last night with my roommates - the poor thing was stuck in the chain-link fence behind our apartment. I kid you not, the bunny sounded like a screaming baby whenever this cat came around but not to worry, baby bunny is alive and well!
#2: I babysat 10 kids under the age of 9 - yes, you read that correctly and yes, by some miracle, I survived.
#3: Yes, I KNOW the flashback didn't happen in the episode - I kind of made it up on the spot but I thought it would create a better story line.
#4: I'm trying this new thing where I'm trying to get to know the rest of the fandom so come find me on Twitter and introduce yourself! fearLIZness17
#5: I'd love it if you left a review, please! :)
It had taken everything inside of her to even make it out of the door and into the car. She had begged Kat not to take her to her doctor's appointment but the teenager wouldn't give in. She had been in even more pain than she had been when she was in the hospital and Kat finally caved and called the doctor to fix it. Truth be told, Olivia should have seen a doctor a few days ago but she somehow got out of that appointment. It wasn't like she was avoiding going, she just didn't have the energy or strength to make it more than a few short steps.
The car ride was difficult and Olivia was angry, she felt like the entire city of New York was staring at her through the passenger side window. She knew her face had been plastered all over every newspaper and news broadcast in the days she was missing, she knew that she was a target for every journalist and quite honestly, she just couldn't handle it. Before Lewis, she was very much a people person. She instantly made connections with everyone she came into contact with, whether it was working SVU or even at any of Kat's school functions. Now, that switch had been shut off completely. Olivia barely talked, she didn't want anyone coming to visit her and the light in her eyes had seemingly faded to nothing. She was barely a shadow of her former self and it didn't take a rocket scientist to see that she was depressed.
Walking into the waiting room was mortifying for Olivia, every patient immediately looked up from their magazines and their gaze locked in on every bruise, every cut and every scar on her body. She could have sworn she heard someone gasp but she didn't quite catch it. Kat had sat her mother down in a chair away from the rest of the waiting room, and although it wasn't secluded enough, it still gave Olivia some privacy from prying eyes. The teenager had come back seconds later with a handful of paperwork that needed to be filled out before Olivia could go anywhere. Paperwork was all too familiar for Olivia, she had spent countless nights filling out last minute things on cases before she had to turn them in to Cragen. Her right hand was in a cast which meant Kat was left to fill out all of the information, something she wasn't too happy to be doing but she didn't make it known – she didn't want to add to her mother's stress.
She had been trying to keep her cool but she couldn't help but feel like the entire waiting room was staring at her every few seconds. She felt like she was being picked apart by judgmental eyes who knew nothing about the intense struggle she had endured in order to stay alive. Her mind was racing, she felt like the walls were closing in on her and she couldn't quite catch her breath. Her anxiety was taking over, she just couldn't quite bear the thought of putting herself on show the way she currently was and all she wanted to do was be in the safety of her house.
Kat had noticed her mother shaking and she gently enveloped Olivia's hands in her own. "Hey, it's okay. I know how hard this is for you," the teenager gently spoke, "I'm so proud of you."
She shook her head, doing her very best to keep her tears at bay. Pursing her lips together to avoid a full blown sob, she pleaded, "P-please, Ka-Kat."
Although it was only two words, Kat knew exactly what her mother was asking. Even though she would do absolutely anything to protect her mother, she couldn't bring herself to take Olivia home. "I can't," she paused as she gently wiped away one of her mother's tears, "I know everyone is staring at us right now and I know you'd give anything to be at home."
"Pl-pl-please." Her voice was quiet, yet full of emotion. If she had any strength at all, she would have been out those doors in seconds and here she was, pleading with her teenager daughter to do the unthinkable.
"Your health comes first." Kat gently put her foot down in the matter, she knew if her mother was willing and able, she would agree. The teenager hoped her mother would understand but in her current state, she made sure that everything was done with the utmost level of care. Kat knew she couldn't risk a breech of trust or even a complete breakdown when it came to Olivia or else all future tactics were out the window in a matter of seconds.
The doctor had called Olivia's name and she had relied heavily on Kat to walk back to the exam room. Dr. Wilson had been her primary care physician throughout her hospital stay, she hadn't seen him much but then again, she was so doped up on medication that she barely knew her own name. He was very welcoming and had asked all the basic questions before he got down to the nitty-gritty. "I've heard that you've been struggling recently, how so?"
She shrugged her shoulders, "I'm fine."
"Mom," Kat cut in, she couldn't bear to see her mother blatantly like to her doctor's face.
Olivia pressed again, "I'm fine."
Dr. Wilson looked at Olivia whose mind was trying so hard to get as far away as possible and to Kat who was clearly frustrated with her mother. "We're here to help you, Olivia." He paused before asking the teenager, "How has she been coping?"
"Not that well." Kat explained, "She's in an incredible amount of pain, all the time. Her lacerations only seem to be getting worse, the bruises only getting darker in color and her burns looking angrier by the day. It's a struggle for her to let me change her bandages, and I get that, it's painful for her to endure. Some days she barely eats, probably because she's terrified to throw up again. I know her ribs have been bothering her lately, she constantly has her arm protectively hovering over her side. Her eyes, have no life in them anymore and truthfully," She paused, gathering her thoughts, "I'm afraid she's letting herself go."
"Olivia," Dr. Wilson gently questioned, "Did Kat hit the nail on the head?"
When he saw the older woman nodding, he continued, "It's important to keep your strength up and eating is definitely something you don't want to skip. We want to keep you as healthy as we can and it sounds like Kat is doing an excellent job advocating for your well-being."
Throughout the entire exam, Dr. Wilson had cleaned up her injuries and made sure that she was on the road to recovery once again. Kat had explained her observations, how Olivia primarily stayed in bed sleeping the majority of the day and how she had more bad days than good ones. Dr. Wilson had concluded that her pain medication just wasn't strong enough, he regretted not checking up earlier. However, Kat was incredibly satisfied that her mother would soon be more like herself, something she truly missed.
Almost immediately after Kat had walked out of the master bedroom, Olivia had fallen asleep. The teenager had expected it because after all, being up and about took a huge toll on someone who was so beaten down by life. Kat had caught Olivia in near tears during the conversation at the doctor's office about her well-being. She knew she must have sounded incredibly patronizing and Kat regretted it immensely. She didn't do it to hurt her mother, it was out of pure love for the woman she so desperately wanted back. Olivia wasn't the strong, fearless woman that Kat had known for the entirety of her life. Now, she was a terrified, sad and timid person who was losing their ability to fight back. The old Olivia would have bounced back from any situation and after Lewis, she was truly broken into more pieces than anyone could ever count. The teenager had made it up in her mind that if her mother wasn't going to advocate for herself, someone had to step up and do it.
She had just blown in the door after one of the hardest days at SVU she had ever endured. The prime suspect in their rape case had taken hostages in the local elementary school after a dispute with his ex-wife. She had been the first one on scene, and the last person to talk to Matthew who had been sitting in a Kindergarten class with fifteen petrified four and five year olds. Olivia had tried absolutely everything in the book to get him to release the children but each and every time, he was one step ahead of her.
She remembered walking through the halls of the school with SWAT team members following close behind. She remembered walking past the library when she heard 15 gunshots ring out, echoing through the empty hallways. She'll never forget the screams, and the deafening silence that followed soon after.
She remembered running to the classroom, opening the door and seeing the sheer devastation that had gone on seconds earlier. That image would be ingrained in her mind for the rest of her life. She remembered thinking that if she could have gotten there just a few seconds earlier, this might have been prevented and that 15 innocent lives wouldn't have been taken so abruptly. She was horrified and in all her years at SVU, she had seen nothing as horrific as this. Fin and Elliot had made their way into the room, quickly leading a shell-shocked Olivia away from the crime scene. They both knew that she would take this the hardest out of everyone in the squad, her emotions always stood at the forefront of who she was, but then again, that's what made her one of New York's finest.
She wasn't even close to being okay to drive home, she hadn't spoken a word since she heard the gunshots. Elliot was the one to escort her through the doors of her apartment to a waiting 14 year old Kat. He had quickly led her into her bedroom, shutting the door before slowly sitting her down on the bed. He knew the absolute last thing she wanted was to talk about the atrocities she had witnessed at the elementary school. He had opened her closet door, breaking out a bottle of whiskey she had kept hidden behind her rack of dresses. As soon as he had opened the bottle, she reached out her hand to take a sip right from the bottle itself. "Liv," he protested. "Let me get you a glass."
Her voice was empty, she didn't want him babying her nor did she want him hovering the entire was the way that Elliot worked, even with the best of intentions, he still would manage a way to piss her off. "Go."
"Come on, Liv." He sighed, knowing that this was the end of the line. "Don't be like this."
She took another large swig of whiskey before repeating herself, "Go."
He had ran into Kat in the kitchen, giving the bare minimum explanation because he knew disclosing every detail would cause WWIII and he was avoiding that at all costs. From what Kat understood, it was a bad day and her mother just needed to numb her pain in whatever way she could find. After retreating to her room for an hour, Kat decided to check on her mother. When she opened the master bedroom door, she found Liv sitting on the floor with a half empty bottle of Jack Daniel's.
"Mom?" Kat questioned as she surveyed the scene.
She lifted the bottle to her lips, swallowing the amber liquid as she turned to her daughter. "Get out."
"I said, get out." Olivia repeated herself again, with more emphasis to get her daughter to leave her alone.
The teenager pointed to the bottle of whiskey that was currently sitting in her mother's lap, "You're drunk, I could smell it the second I walked into your room."
Olivia bitterly questioned, "So what if I am? It's not like you're going to do anything about it."
"Please don't do this," Kat pleaded, "I don't want to fight with you."
Despite her daughter's plea, Olivia took two swigs out of pure spite. "This is my life, and I can do what I want."
Kat began to kneel with her arm outstretched, "Give me the bottle of whiskey, you're done."
"What are you, the alcohol police?" Olivia sarcastically slurred, "Last time I checked, you were 14."
"You're right, I'm 14 and I have a hell of a lot more common sense than you do right now."
"I thought I told you to get out," Olivia leaned her head back laughing, "Yet, here you still are."
"I don't want to have to ask you again," Kat pleaded.
Olivia took another shot and gave her daughter a don't mess with me glare, "Well too bad, because you're not getting it."
Kat tried to reach out for the bottle before Olivia quickly pushed her hand out of the way. "You messed with the wrong person tonight."
It was an empty threat, Kat knew that Olivia didn't have the guts to do anything about the situation at hand. "You think you can talk the talk, but can you really walk the walk?"
The eldest Benson took a few seconds before she could stand up to which Kat quickly followed, provoking her mother a little more. "You don't have what it takes."
She blindly took a swing at the teenager, just barely missing her shoulder. She began mocking her daughter, "Don't have what it takes?"
"Do you have any idea what you're doing right now?" Kat yelled. "Do you have any idea what you look like? Or what about the fact that you just tried to punch me, huh?" She was furious, "You think you can come home and just drink yourself silly because you had a bad day? Everyone has bad days, Mom and whether you like it or not, you're going to have a few more in your lifetime so get used to it."
"I'm your mother," Liv yelled, "and whether you like or not, you listen to me."
"I thought you were different, I really did." Kat pushed, genuinely at her wit's end. "But actually, you're just like her. You're a drunk, a no good drunk!"
Olivia stopped in her tracks, dropping the whiskey bottle on the floor where it seemingly shattered. A small amber puddle pooling at her bare-feet as she continued listening to her daughter, "You spent your entire life running away from your past, well guess what? Looks like it finally caught up with you! I guess I should start calling you Serena now, right?"
She was frozen in place as she listened to her daughter yell, the tears began welling up in her eyes to the point where the dam was going to break at any second. Slowly and quietly, her voice began to shake, "Y-you don't m-m-mean th-that, do y-you?"
Kat, to this day, still regretted the words that flew out of her mouth the way they did. The look on her mother's face was one that she won't ever forget as long as she lived. She remembered holding her mother tight in her arms as she tried to take back the words that cut so deep. She remembered holding her mother's hair back as she threw up for hours afterward and even the next morning when she couldn't seem to apologize enough. Olivia didn't speak much that night after the fight and Kat didn't blame her. She used a low blow and brought up things that she probably shouldn't have even known about to begin with. It was the one and only time she had ever seen Olivia drunk, she figured that her mother didn't ever want to be associated with the memory of her own drunken mother ever again.
She had heard a light tapping sound going on thirty seconds and she couldn't for the life of her figure out where it was coming from. She slowly got up from her mother's bed and quietly shut the door in order to ensure that Olivia wouldn't be woken up. After the last few days she had, Kat knew that Olivia needed to rest and not have to worry about the events of the world.
Kat walked out to the kitchen, where she again heard the light tapping. At first, she thought she was going crazy until she realized that someone was at the door. She couldn't remember if Nick, Fin, Amanda or Cragen told her they were coming over which was weird because they usually always let her know beforehand. Kat had so much on her plate recently with her mother and keeping track of her own affairs that she on some days, she felt like her world was perpetually flipped upside-down. Nothing about her mother's situation was okay with Kat, she had gone from a carefree teenager to a self-appointed nurse in a matter of hours. She used to be squeamish with blood and after changing so many bandages, the sight of blood didn't phase Kat at all. It was stressful for a teenager to take on that much responsibility, but even if Kat knew she couldn't handle it on her own, she would do the very best she could until she got to that point.
Walking over to the door, she quietly opened it and had to suppress a gasp at who she saw standing in the doorway. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Reviews make me smile, please don't hesitate to leave one! :)