See end of chapter for notes.
I clenched my fists tightly and started to pace in the hall outside of the cell, not caring that I had an audience. Seven knew better than to say anything further to me, it seemed. I appreciated that he gave me space, for if I could sense Kylo Ren's anger from here, I knew it was strong. But then I didn't actually know where he was. Immediately I concocted every scenario that might inspire such an emotion, the first and most frightening being that he somehow had become aware of what I'd taken from him.
Why had I been so foolish as to think I could get away with it? As my mind worked, however, something told me that this was not what angered him so. After such a transgression, I would have been apprehended by security immediately and thrown into a cell. Could it be my little jaunt to the detention block? Surely not, this was a minor offense at worst… but then I remembered how I'd lied to the officer at the check-in. And then how I'd sent away Hux's interrogators. And then how I'd lost my nerve to do any damage to the prisoner in order to extract the information, effectively interrupting the interrogation process with no real justifiable results.
If this is what angered Kylo Ren, I would have to face him. It wasn't as though I could hide from him on this ship. I couldn't seem to focus, my mind too muddled by thoughts of Yavin 4 and the possibility that the prisoner had come into contact with my family at some point.
I saw movement at the far end of the corridor. The door which partitioned the sections of hallway was opening. To my surprise, the man I saw emerging through it was not the one I'd expected.
General Hux and I made eye contact across the distance and I immediately felt his anger rise at the sight of me. He'd dressed himself again, of course, though he seemed to be lacking his uniform cap. Draped over his shoulders was his broad-shouldered greatcoat and it swept behind him like a cape as he moved. The cold, subdued lighting of the corridor cut his face into hard, sharp planes that from this distance made him appear fairly sinister, so like the first time I'd seen him in his quarters. He was approaching me with swift, measured strides and I felt the irrational urge to run. I could understand now why Dameron had wanted his jacket; suddenly everything felt very cold.
"Resume your post elsewhere," he ordered, addressing the guards. The two men snapped their heels together and left us uncomfortably alone in this section of the corridor. For a moment I was torn between meeting his eyes with confidence and casting mine down in deference. I settled on addressing his terse mouth until I knew what had him so incensed.
"General-"
"If you have any respect for that rank, you won't speak again without my permission. Do you understand me?" His words were sharp and held about as much warmth as his eyes. It had been a while since I'd last seen his anger and I had a mental image of him kicking the sand bag in the officer's rec facility, bursting it in a show of inebriated, yet controlled, rage.
"Yes." For some reason, the words 'bone drill' echoed in my mind.
"I thought that I'd made it clear that the prisoner was of no concern to you. Perhaps, then, you can imagine my shock when I was informed that you'd begun interrogation. It seems that one of my inquisitors was surprised when you came to take over, and wisely thought to confer with me." His aristocratic face was hard and extraordinarily pale in this lighting, though I didn't miss that his blue eyes seemed a little puffy, perhaps even subtly red-rimmed. "I thought he'd ordered you, behind my back. I didn't want to believe that you could commit such treachery. What were you thinking?!"
"How am I supposed to answer that?"
"You may want to restrain your propensity for impertinence at this time," he snapped. "It ceased to be amusing the moment you chose to commit treason."
"Treason?!" I uttered, outraged. Hux bared his teeth slightly before closing them behind tight lips, and it was then that I realized that he was having uncharacteristic difficulty restraining his temper.
"You're surprised? So you mean to say that wasn't your goal?"
"Of course not," I replied quickly, indignant and angry.
"Then perhaps it was egotism. Perhaps you thought you could do better than my elite inquisitors."
I fell into a sullen silence, dropping my eyes and noting the faint wrinkles I could see in his uniform jacket. I knew they were from being left haphazardly on the floor and suspected that that was the reason he'd chosen to retrieve his greatcoat, in an attempt to cover them up.
I heard the creak of leather as he clenched his fist.
"It seems that your teacher's overinflated sense of self-importance has rubbed off on you. This is the second time you have undermined my professional authority, Riala. I can't afford to overlook your noncompliance any longer. Not only might you have jeopardized the entire interrogation, but-" suddenly, he stopped himself and glanced behind him before leaning in and saying in a lower voice, "you have seriously wounded me in the process."
This elicited an unwanted stab of guilt in me which I immediately overlaid with scorn. He was taking this personally, something I hadn't expected. In truth, I hadn't considered Hux at all when I had decided to act, so consumed had I been by the desire to save my own skin.
"I didn't mean to," I said uselessly, unsure of how else to respond to such a candid confession and considering an expression of disdain to be unwise.
"Regardless, the fact that I haven't heard from you tells me that you were unsuccessful."
I studied his boots, which hugged his slim calves as if they'd been molded to them. In response to my silence, he made a small derisive noise.
"I thought as much. The damage you've caused will have to be assessed. At best, you've set the process back many hours. At worst, the subject could prove unresponsive to further interrogation, which will place you under suspicion of deliberate sabotage."
"Your interrogators weren't even close," I blurted finally, irritated with him and my irrational guilt. "He was nowhere near being broken when I went in there. If anything, he may now prove to be more susceptible to your efforts." I fervently hoped that this was true, that my pleas had made some impact upon him and that he would stop resisting for his own sake.
"Is that a fact? Thank you for your uneducated assessment of the situation. Forgive me if I don't give your opinion much weight." This last part was said with an ugly sneer, and I felt my own lip twitch in response. My palms itched and I blinked away a burning in my eyes.
"If I'd succeeded, I would have been doing you a favor."
"If you'd succeeded, I'd be the first to sing your praises," he said lightly, sarcastically. "But you didn't, did you? If you were one of my officers, I would have you discharged without court-martial and punished in a manner befitting a traitor."
I was stunned and for a moment, I felt panic that this might actually end up being my fate. Had I truly made such a great misstep? He studied my eyes for a moment, and then his eyes dropped to my mouth and his face softened slightly.
"Fortunately for both of us, you're not subject to the same regulations as a ranking officer. Still, your actions may have far-reaching effects that could hinder the success of Leader Snoke's goals. I assure you that there will be consequences."
I found myself somewhat distracted from his words when a tugging on my chest and a faint prickling on my skin told me that I might have to face those consequences sooner rather than later.
Both Hux and myself turned simultaneously to see the approaching figure of none other but Kylo Ren. As soon as Hux saw him, he cursed under his breath. Quickly, he turned away as if to hide his face. I saw the dread and irritation flash across his features before he could stop them. Apparently he wasn't looking forward to seeing him either.
Either they had deliberately left the commander's quarters at different times to avoid suspicion, or Kylo Ren had needed more time to get ready. Either way, I was now to face both of them at once. My stomach sank and I wanted to follow it until I disappeared into the floor.
As he drew near, his ebon mask zeroed in on me with unwavering, unsettling focus and then I felt his questioning presence surround me. I scrambled to raise my own barriers. My heart pounded and fear flourished in my chest for what I might have accidentally given away.
"I see you have found my wayward student, General," that thick, modulated voice spoke. How unreadable he must be to those without empathic abilities, I thought. His words and bearing illustrated utter disdain while his emotional feedback indicated otherwise. As I'd sensed before, he was angry.
"She has gone too far this time, Ren. Even you can't deny that she may have put everything at risk," Hux said, his voice clipped.
"Perhaps she felt, as I did, that the process was moving too slowly." Concealed by my veil, I gaped at him, astonished. Was he defending me?
"Are you saying that you condone her actions? Would you be willing to say as much to Supreme Leader Snoke?" Some color seemed to be returning to Hux's face as he had increasing difficulty keeping a professional façade of disinterest.
"Of course not. I am simply saying that your interrogators should have made some progress by now."
"My inquisitors are unmatched in their skill. Snoke himself approves of my methods," Hux said defensively.
"Then how do you explain their failure?"
"Failure?!" Hux spluttered for a moment before he saw the deliberate provocation for what it was. "The process was incomplete when it was interrupted. Information extraction is a delicate process, Ren. It requires finesse, not brute force. A concept you are likely unfamiliar with."
"You're sure? Maybe a demonstration is in order," Kylo Ren said in a mocking tone, an unspoken threat hanging in the air.
"We don't have time for this," Hux snapped, trying to conceal his nervousness behind condescension.
"Don't worry. This won't take long." Before Hux could respond, the knight waved his hand over the panel and the door opened. He strode in. In the brief window before the door sealed shut again, I could see the sleeping form of the Resistance pilot in the harness. The door closed.
"Fuck. This is just what I needed," Hux muttered, glancing toward an approaching patrol. The stormtroopers saluted before passing us and continuing on their way. And then it was just myself and Hux in the hallway. I could tell by Hux's expression that he was in no mood to talk to me. Clearly he had other things on his mind.
I didn't want to speak to him either, and so I was left to trying not to think about what was happening in the holding cell. I leaned against the wall opposite the cell door, entertaining ridiculous fantasies of fleeing the Order somehow, stealing a spaceship and perhaps a pilot, and escaping through hyperspace. And then I completed the scenario, where I pictured myself living out the rest of my life in fear, seeing in every shadow the lanky, black-cloaked form and dark mask. There was no escaping this. There was no escaping him.
Just then, there was an anguished, muffled scream on the other side of the door and it was as though ice had been injected into my veins. I tensed up, fatigued muscles flexing as if to run. I had a unique insight into what was happening in that room. I knew well the way it felt to have my thoughts and memories forcibly extracted. How, with but a gesture, Kylo Ren had seemed to tear my mind from the confines of my skull, my memories and long faded emotions coming back with unwelcome and sickening clarity. A cold sweat stood out on my brow and I felt that I couldn't breathe. Please, I thought with feverish longing, please don't kill him. I stared at the cell door, only slowly becoming aware of the fact that General Hux was watching me with a curious scrutiny. The screaming trailed off and then fell silent.
The door opened and Kylo Ren strode out with assured confidence. The pilot was limp in the harness, and I sensed that he was now truly unconscious. At least he was alive, I thought. Kylo Ren spared me no more than a brief glance as he exited. His casual disregard carried with it an unmistakable message. Then he spoke, answering the unasked question.
"It's in a droid," he said calmly, turning to face a perfectly composed Hux. "A BB unit."
"Well then," Hux responded without missing a beat. "If it's on Jakku, we'll soon have it." Somehow he managed not to falter or even blink under the weight of that smug satisfaction. His act was convincing, but I could feel the way he despised the other man for this victory.
"I leave that to you." Kylo Ren didn't wait for a response before turning and walking away. I saw Hux's façade of arrogance slip just a fraction once the other man was no longer looking, as the set of his mouth sank into a subtle frown. With a sour glance to me, he turned to leave, already delivering orders through his comms.
"Riala," the gritty liquid-tar voice spoke then, grabbing my attention from where he stood in the corridor waiting. I scurried to follow. Seven and the other guard resumed their posts outside the cell door as we passed them, but I knew I would find no help from them. I decided to try and appeal to my Master's dislike for Hux in the hope that it might alleviate his current dissatisfaction with me.
"The General was a fool to question your skill," I commented, glancing uncomfortably toward the tall figure walking beside me.
Without warning, he rounded on me and I backed involuntarily into the wall before cursing my automatic response. An approaching patrol of three stormtroopers faltered and then diverted their course down a separate hallway when they saw the budding altercation.
"Do you care so little for your own life that you would interfere with official matters?" He asked, his voice rising. I stared into the black abyss if his visor, hoping that my bravery would make up for my initial show of weakness.
"Of course I care. I did what I thought I had to do to save myself!"
"You may have ensured your doom. Not even I am above the laws of the Supreme Leader," he snarled. I moved toward him, standing at my full height, channeling the Force into a barrier against his power, which had begun to bear down upon me. He continued. "Make no mistake, Riala. Our off-duty interactions don't elevate you above the chain of command."
"Apparently they don't do much for your capacity to reason either," I retorted forgetting myself in my anger. "You're more of a fool than I thought if you believe that Snoke intends to actually train me."
Suddenly, his aura swelled and hit me and the impact forcefully displaced me backwards a few feet. He had trained me well, it seemed, for I hadn't lost my footing. My balanced stance and my barriers were all that had kept me upright. I steeled myself against further attacks.
"You dare to speak of him with such familiarity," he growled dangerously, moving to occupy the space that had grown between us after his push. This time I didn't back away.
"It's because you are so close to him that you can't see it," I accused, my voice rising. I thought I might hit him if he came any nearer to me. My hand twitched as wrath poured into it. "Your affections for me blind you, Kylo. He is likely to kill me, or have you kill me before he'll ever make me an apprentice."
He moved forward and three things happened in quick succession at that moment: he grasped my arm in a painful grip, gestured with his other arm, and then, with his full strength, hurled me backwards. Expecting to hit a wall, I lost all sense of equilibrium when instead I was thrown through an open door. I crashed against the back wall of the small holding cell before crumpling onto a built-in bench. He moved in, blocking the open doorway with his body. I had the sickening realization that my palm was on the handle of my vibroblade as if prepared to draw it. Shakily I moved it away, my eyes on the hilt of his lightsaber. I couldn't ignore how his hand hovered near it.
"My affection? I feel nothing for you beyond your capacity to serve the Supreme Leader." The spike of anxiety I felt amidst the tempest of his anger gave me bitter satisfaction even through my shock and belied the falsity of his claim.
I caught my breath and then sat forward, noting that he hadn't thrown me hard enough to cause injury. Even now he was restraining himself, further proof that what I'd said was true.
"You lie to yourself, then, but Snoke is not so easily fooled. I was doomed before I even decided to interrogate that pilot. He humors you like a child, allowing you to keep me like a pet until I no longer prove useful."
"If freedom sits so uncomfortably with you, perhaps you would prefer a cage. At least here you can cause no further harm."
It took me a moment to realize what he was saying. I leapt up and moved toward him, but he was faster. He stepped back and gestured. The cell door closed between us just as I rushed up to it, slamming it with my fist.
I could feel him standing motionless just on the other side of the door. And then he turned to leave, withdrawing his presence until I could no longer sense him, and he was gone.
Furious and desperate, I screamed savagely, beating the door even though I knew he wouldn't hear me and wouldn't care. I pounded my fists against the metal until the bones of my hand were sore, and then until my hands went numb. Then I paced to the bench and back, ripping off my veil and helmet, throwing them against the wall with a growl. I cursed my stupidity, pressing my knuckles into my temples.
With as much will as I could muster, I tried to channel the Force through my hands to move the cell door, but as with my attempts to move the plant, my power had no effect on it.
I gave up after about a dozen attempts, and resumed pacing the perimeter of the cell. Poe Dameron was a pilot, I thought. If I managed to get out of this cell, and if he were physically able, perhaps I could use my powers of persuasion to convince him to hijack a ship with me and flee far away from the Finalizer. It was a stupid thought. I had no doubt that we would be destroyed long before we managed to escape the hangar. Not only that, but I really didn't think I could fool the detention level liaison officer a second time. Still, it was a pleasant fantasy. I allowed myself to imagine escaping the range of the Star Destroyer's weapons, jumping to lightspeed, escaping this system with Dameron. And then what? We retire to Yavin 4 together for a little vacation? Kylo Ren knew that was my home world, and that I'd shown interest in my past. It was likely be one of the first places he'd look.
Frustrated, I slumped onto the bench, my forehead in my hands, staring blankly at the floor between my feet. As soon as they found the droid, the Finalizer would head back to Starkiller Base. I was pretty sure that there would be no escape for me after that. Trapped in this cell, I was at his mercy.
As soon as I thought that, I couldn't help but utter a bitter laugh. At the mercy of a man like him? And General Hux? They were fond of me, of that there was no doubt, but despite Hux calling me his Master after I'd spanked his ass to bruising, I doubted it would save me in this situation. His first loyalty was to the Order, and Kylo Ren's first loyalty was to Snoke. Mercy was not in their vocabulary.
After sitting for an indeterminate amount of time in the tiny room and allowing myself too much time to wallow in my self-pity, I let my eyes close, hating that I could not leave the cell. Immediately, the room filled in around me and my perception spread outward. In the cell next to me, a tightly bundled blob of energy paced restlessly. The other side was empty. A pair of guards passed in front of me heading to the right, away from the check-in. I could still sense Seven standing guard outside of Dameron's cell, a few doors down the hall. Inside, the ball of life that lay inert was beginning to stir. He's going to have one hell of a headache, I thought.
Whatever mess I'd gotten myself into, I didn't regret what I'd done. I just wished that I could have done more to help the man. Of course, I couldn't even help myself. The energy I'd stolen from Kylo Ren and General Hux had long since faded, leaving a bone-deep weariness in behind it. Without the courage the energy theft had seemed to grant me, I couldn't help but be baffled by my choices. All of them.
A nagging sense of shame crept in from the outside, perhaps spurred by my fatigue. Irritated, I tried to brush it away again as I had earlier. What was the problem? There was nothing to be ashamed of. Sex was sex. Except when you're fucking monsters, an unwelcome voice teased, one that I couldn't seem to quiet. I remembered the smell of blood on Kylo Ren, and smoke, and the way it had simultaneously disgusted and aroused me. How many of the burning bodies on that pile had been his direct contribution? Indirectly, Hux himself was responsible for all of them. You debased yourself with cold-blooded fiends and you enjoyed it. I couldn't argue with that voice, even as it made my insides clench with the weight of my regret.
Of everyone I'd met, the commanders were both the most shameless and the most despicable. They had excelled in an unforgiving world. They were also the ones I'd enjoyed fucking the most, possibly because I fundamentally felt no accountability for their well-being. That was not the case for everyone. I had, and then immediately dismissed the notion to contact Phasma. I knew she was on the ship, but I also knew that she would not betray her duty, even for me.
Despite everything, I still felt for her. She was living proof of someone that could exist in a state of harmonious contradiction. She thrived in the structured rigidity of the militaristic regime, had taken part in and directed the execution of wartime atrocities; yet she'd shown me and other slaves extraordinary kindness and compassion. She'd willingly ordered the execution of unarmed sentients; yet still she was not unnecessarily cruel. And she had such pride for her soldiers who, in her mind, fulfilled a necessary role in keeping order in the galaxy. And her shining star, FN-2187, whose heart was not in his duty despite his conditioning… she had no idea.
When I'd spoken with him, he'd seemed too good, too pure for this life. He'd avoided participating in the slaughter of unarmed miners, but I doubted he would be able to maintain such disobedience. I thought I remembered him saying something that implied he would be part of the deployment to the surface of Jakku. I didn't want to think about him killing those villagers. Actually, I didn't know why I was suddenly thinking of him at all. He'd just popped into my head, seemingly out of nowhere.
A guard was coming down the hall, the same as any other that had passed me by over the last thirty minutes or so. Except this one radiated ripples of paranoia and anxiety. I stood up and moved toward my door, observing with my Force perception as they passed by my cell. I knew then why I'd been thinking of FN-2187; it was him that approached now, not a regular guard. What was he doing here, and why did his emotions read so turbulent? As I observed, he paused in front of Seven, and Poe Dameron's cell. And then he entered the cell.
My heart started pounding. Was he going to execute the pilot? Apparently not, for, to my bewilderment, the ball of light that was FN-2187 and the ball of light that was Poe Dameron both left together. Seven, upon finding himself in front of an empty cell, began to walk off in the opposite direction. Something told me that FN-2187 wasn't there to escort Dameron to his death. His emotional read was too… scared. As if he were doing something he was definitely not supposed to.
I sensed them move down the hall before my cell and then turn down a side corridor together. And then they passed beyond my ability to feel them. I tried to extend my Darksight, but they were gone.
My eyes were wide as I paced from the door to the bench and back again, trying to piece it together. It was possible that FN-2187 was taking Poe somewhere else, perhaps to a more secure cell, but I doubted it. Maybe, I thought, daring to dream, just maybe FN-2187 was taking Poe away. Maybe he was doing what I had only dreamt of doing: escaping.
It can't be… I couldn't believe it; it was too good to be true.
Nothing happened for a long while, however, and my hopes began to fade. Of course, it was ridiculous. They wouldn't have gotten far anyway. My own hopes and desires were clouding my judgement. FN-2187 was likely far more aware than I of the consequences, and he probably valued his life too much to think of defecting. I sighed and moved toward the bench to sit down again.
Just then, I heard a static crackle coming from my comms, which were laying on the floor by the bench still attached to the helmet.
"-vailable fire teams to hangar bay 2 immediately—ccrkk"
I scrambled over on my hands and knees, grabbed the helmet and held it to my ear, too impatient to detach the visor.
"Code red, all available fire teams immediately report to hangar bay 2. Unsanctioned departure."
I still had access to the basic troop channels. Kylo Ren hadn't thought enough about my confinement to lock me out. My fantasy didn't seem so foolish anymore, for something told me that the strange thing is witnessed and this happening in such quick succession was no coincidence.
I couldn't breathe for a moment. I pulled the helmet on fully and messed around with the controls for my HUD to see if I could hear anything more on another channel, perhaps a frequency used by techs or a control room.
"-is going on?!" A male voice, sharp and accented, told me this was likely an officer.
"Sir, someone's commandeered a TIE and is attempting to depart with the fuel line still attached-"
"What?!" I winced at the sudden increase in volume and adjusted it accordingly, my heart pounding. "Divert the power, we might be able to overload-"
"They're firing!"
Just then, there was a horrified scream and the sound of an explosion, which cut to static.
"I didn't get that, Flight Control." Silence, but for the crackle of dead air. "Forward Flight Control, do you copy?"
More static. Then the channel went silent as, I assumed, the officer had switched to another frequency outside of my range of access. Anxiously, I scanned the channels available to me. It was as though every person on the ship were speaking at once.
"-out two other TIEs-"
"-stuck on the damn cables-"
"-end reinforcements! Heavy troopers!"
"They're loose! I repeat, they have left the hangar!"
I let out a quiet cheer, punching the air before resuming my feverish search. All of the lower channels were full of chatter about damage assessment or casualties or more confusion and chaos.
"-disabled the mid-canons. Charging ventral canons."
"C'mon," I said aloud through clenched teeth. "Come on, guys…"
"They're hit! They're going down!"
Desperately, I went through the entirety of the accessible channels a fourth and fifth time, but all I overheard were communications between techs and hangar personnel chattering about damage control. There was no confirmation that they'd been destroyed. If they were falling toward the planet, there was still a chance that they could survive if they ejected before it crashed.
And then, "-deploy dropship to the crash site. Coordinates 23.5- 34.7-17.3."
And nothing else.
I imagined it was possible if improbable that they could survive, and I almost gave in to the urge to communicate with someone through the comms and find out what was happening, but ultimately I decided not to. I didn't want to somehow give myself away and risk losing this one link to everything on the other side of my cell door.
I resumed pacing, my mind working to fill in the gaps of what I knew. They'd gotten so far, much further than I thought possible. I couldn't help but feel a small pang of jealousy. I wished I'd acted on my conscience. I'd had every opportunity to get Dameron out of his cell before I'd been caught. Of course, it was possible that FN-2187's military training had aided in their escape, and in his place, I might have been shot first. And then an uncomfortable realization slammed me.
I'd had direct contact with both of the men involved prior to this incident, most notably with the escaped prisoner. If this thought had occurred to me, there was no doubt that it would occur to others. I had to consider that Hux and Kylo Ren might think I'd had some part in this somehow. If it came to that, I would have to try to reason with them. I hadn't deliberately done anything, but I couldn't deny that I hadn't acted according to the way a loyal, unquestioning member of the Order would have. The General had spoken with unblinking severity of treason and deliberate obstruction and the other man was the reason I found myself trapped in this cell. Trapped.
Panic began to rise, tightening the muscles in my throat, making it difficult to breathe. There was no escape, and there would be no liberation for me. Maybe I could do what they did, take advantage of the chaos they'd left in their wake, I thought desperately. I tried again to use my Force power to physically affect the door, but all I managed was to give myself the beginnings of a headache with my efforts. Surely I could convince them that I meant no harm, that nothing I'd done had caused any of this to happen. Something told me, however, that they would be less willing to listen to me now. Whether or not I'd intended for this to happen, my actions cast me in a guilty light.
I became aware of a slowly increasing sound and feeling in the back of my head. An angry buzzing and a tightness in my chest that I now knew was the Force sensory feedback through my fundamental connection with my Master.
I shrank back against the wall farthest from the door, crouching atop the bench as though I could reduce my tall form to something less conspicuous, but there was no chance of concealment in that cell. He was going to kill me. Uncertainly, my hand rested atop my vibro stiletto. The smaller one was still concealed under my sleeve. Both were fully charged, though they would be no match against a lightsaber. An alarming thought occurred to me, that perhaps it would be better for me to end my own life rather than face whatever was coming for me now.
There was no time. I heard the security panel on the other side buzz. The door slid open.
The very specter of death stood there now. Kylo Ren's hood was up, casting his black and chrome mask into further darkness. There was no sign of the man with whom I'd become so familiar, only the faceless monster possessing of unfathomable power. So close, the feedback was deafening, though I could not sense his emotional state with any clarity.
"Sir, please let me explain," I started, desperately trying to come up with something to say, anything that might stall him or give him pause, but I couldn't find the words.
He moved into the cell and gripped my arm in one hand, pulling me roughly to my feet. Without thinking, I jerked back against him, an instinctual need to flee overriding my common sense. He yanked my arm then with his full strength, and I stumbled toward him, too frightened to fight him any further. He was too strong, and his reach was too long. I knew, too, that his physical strength was only a small fraction of what made him so dangerous.
He half dragged me out into the corridor. In the hallway, he wasted no time before ripping away the vibrostiletto strapped to my belt. Without missing a beat, he gripped my forearm the arm which wore the shiv, and removed the tiny weapon. He handed these effects to the mute and unfamiliar stormtrooper standing beside him, and without further delay, pulled me through the door into the interrogation room.
"Don't, please," I begging, thinking of the agony I'd relived listening to his inquisition on the pilot's mind. My pleas fell on deaf ears. "You don't have to do this. I will tell you anything."
"The time for that has passed. I can no longer trust you." He'd spoken, finally. He pushed me toward the harness and I stumbled backwards, unwilling to turn my back to him, weakly trying to twist my arm out of his grip and I looked pleadingly into his impassive face.
"I haven't done anything, I swear to you."
"Enough."
I fell silent. Without a further word, he released my arm, conjuring a brief flare of hope that he might listen and stop what he was doing. Instead, he rested his hand lightly on my neck, wrapping his thumb and long fingers around it. I froze but for my involuntary trembling. I could feel how tense his hand was through the glove, but he didn't squeeze. He was not in the throes of rage nor was he impassioned with anger. This was far more deliberate, and far, far more dangerous.
"Get in the harness."
Shaking, I somehow managed to make myself move backwards until I felt the hard surface of the interrogation harness against my back. My teeth chattered as he gestured, and the wrist and ankle restraints closed at his bidding. My fingertips felt cold.
"Tell me about the pilot." He moved slowly forward.
"Yes, okay, the pilot," I answered quickly, trying to concentrate with his looming form so near to me. It wasn't easy. "His name is Poe Dameron. His mother was a pilot and his father was-"
"This is unimportant," he interrupted impatiently. "Tell me about the map. Did he say anything to you?"
"No."
"You're lying." These words were spoken with unquestionable surety and I desperately shook my head, panicking anew.
"No! I'm not! He wouldn't speak of it. Please believe me."
And then, with a claw-like gesture, his aura grew like a massive storm swell and converged upon me in waves. Without entirely meaning to, my own defenses went up to fend off the Force needles which now searched for some weakness, some point of entry. All the while, my upper body felt as though it were being pulled forward with such strength that the restraints bit into my arms despite my armor.
"Did you know that he would escape?" Through my blinding agony, I could hear his voice, soothing and calm. Utterly unphased by what he was doing to me now.
"No!" I shouted, but it turned into a choked cry when the sensations intensified. It felt as though an electric current coursed through me, flexing every muscle in my body from my shoulders to my scalp, even ones I had no voluntary control over. They remained suspended in that state without relief until I thought they would tear me apart. My neck shook with the effort to fight him, and my teeth clenched so hard that I thought they might shatter. My barriers held, but something told me he was yet holding back.
It was our first meeting all over again, but now it was so much worse, so much more intense. I struggled for breath as the great pressure at once compressed me and seemed to be attempting to suck my brain matter through the pores in my face. I was aware that a strained noise was coming from me, not that I had any ability to stop it. The pressure built until my eyes rolled back in my head. Sharp fingers of energy pressed against my scalp and face, meeting resistance as my own Force barriers struggled to hold strong, and then with a sensation that felt like it should be accompanied by a muted 'pop,' it was breached. Cold pins and needles sank deep into my brain, and my immediate surroundings faded mercifully along with the pain.
'Show me the pilot,' he spoke, almost kindly, as though I were a frightened animal. His voice echoed inside of my head but there was no way to tell whether he'd spoken the words aloud or directly to my thoughts, for he was so intimately entangled with my mind at this point it was as though we both occupied one skull.
I was opening the cuffs on the harness, close enough to smell the man's sweat and hear the rattle of his breath. I watched him warily, ready to fight him off if necessary, but I didn't think it would be. Like a dream, I helped him into his jacket, and as he'd said, he didn't try anything. He didn't resist as I closed the cuffs again.
"That was unwise," the man in black said to me in the present. "Unjustifiable, no matter the outcome."
I had a moment to breathe.
"I was armed. The guards were-"
"And if he'd attempted to escape, you would have, what, killed him? And in doing so, destroy all knowledge he contained regarding the map fragment?"
"He was in no state to fight!"
"Clearly he was well enough to escape."
Ultimately, I knew this to be true, and I had neither the will nor the energy to argue with this. He didn't give me an opportunity, because the next moment, I felt him drawing me forward again. I grunted as I tried to resist, and then he plunged into my mind once more without warning, blowing my barriers aside like cobweb.
'Show me the rest of the interrogation.'
I resisted him this time, though it was more of an automatic impulse than anything else. I didn't want him to see that I'd given Dameron water. I didn't want him to see anything else that had transpired, so afraid was I of his retribution. I tried to derail him, to compel my thoughts to remain focused only on what I could let him see, something which would divert his objective.
I was in the shower, out of my mind with the overwhelming pleasure I felt at that moment. The two men to my front and back pushed their bodies against and into me. We'd become something greater than our individual selves as our sensory ecstasy was multiplied threefold.
'This will not work, Riala,' he warned. 'I will take what I need from you whether or not you cooperate. Just know that any additional resistance only serves to damn you further.'
But it was too late, too delicious, and I found myself drawn further down until the steam filled my nostrils, the slick skin sliding around me, hot and wet, pressing in on me from all sides. A finger was between my legs, massaging my clitoris, and the pressure was building. I had to taste them more deeply than I could with my tongue. They were so full of vigor, and it flowed between us easily. Our bodies and our every sensory experience was intertwined, moving along the paths of our very life essence as it swirled and mingled between us as though physical barriers did not exist. It was almost too easy to keep some of it for myself. They wouldn't know…
I panicked, remembering my invader, and then I slipped and lost control entirely.
I was in the holding cell again. But I was looking at the man in the harness with the smoldering eyes.
"This buddy-buddy thing you're doing? It won't work." Of course it wouldn't, and I was an idiot for thinking that I was so clever. Of course he would see right through my attempts. I didn't want to hurt him, not yet … the pain would have to come later, but I couldn't think about that now. He didn't trust me, but neither did he want me to leave him.
But the more I discovered about him, and the more he revealed about himself, his tongue loosened by the serum, the harder it became to think of actually initiating the next step in the process. And then, my thoughts skipped forward to the earth-shattering revelation.
"Yavin. Yavin 4."
My home world. My mother and my father… at least Dameron had known his. I couldn't ruin that for him. I felt a sob rise in my throat, and I couldn't stop it. This wasn't part of my memory, this was happening in the present. A wave of needling pain washed across me and receded and for a moment I could feel the cuffs around my wrists again, as though they were a thing I could have forgotten.
"You share a home world. Perhaps that was motivation enough to aid an escape."
"I didn't help them," I moaned. "I wanted him to stop fighting you. I just wanted him to stay uncorrupted…"
"Who? The pilot?"
Without meaning to, I pictured FN-2187 in my mind, as he had appeared to me in the warm, dim room with the plants.
"What about 2187?"
I panicked, feeling my mind go, of its own accord further into that memory in the warm belly of the ship. Kylo Ren's firm guidance eased the recollection.
"Can I kiss you?" The handsome young man asked, watching me for my response as hyperspace streaked by through the low windows. Our small fingers still touched slightly. He was so hopeful, and so troubled by what he'd seen, and I wanted to do what I could to comfort him. And maybe, in the process, I could have a glimpse of what it meant to be innocent.
No, I thought, pleading. This is not your concern; this has nothing to do with you.
"In fact this has everything to do with me. What did you say to him?"
I pushed and I resisted, struggling against the grip on my memories, but every attempt I made to raise my barriers was met with further tightening until I felt that I could hardly think at all. I thought my skull would shatter. In the harness of the interrogation room, Kylo Ren stood so close that I could smell the old smoke on his robes, the dried sweat, the subtle hint of old blood. If it weren't for the brutal power he exerted over me now, the agony of a thousand needles stabbing the soft tissue under my skull, his bearing might almost seem gentle as he violated me mentally. His aura battered against the shredded remnants of mine and the pressure grew.
"Show me."
The gentle lips were on mine, and for a moment, I forgot everything except for that memory, and I willingly took refuge in it. FN-2187 had disarmed me, made me forget my scrabbling ambitions and my malice. For a shining moment, I thought I might be someone worthy of such attentions, but it was short-lived. I couldn't quiet the disturbing thoughts of that goodness becoming twisted, corrupted.
"You're a good man… don't let them take that from you," I said. And then I left him.
Slowly, the memories faded as Kylo Ren pulled himself out of my mind, leaving an empty ache where before he'd made me feel overfull. I became aware of my own ragged breathing and remnants of my choked sobs. I hadn't even been aware that I was crying. There was a rawness in my throat that gave sign to my involuntary vocalizations, and numbly I wondered if I'd sounded like Dameron in the midst of his torture, if the stormtrooper guard outside the door was at all moved. My face was wet as tears seeped from my eyes, though I couldn't move my hands to wipe away the moisture. Everything hurt, and a pounding headache throbbed between my temples.
He had taken everything. He'd taken from me the one possession I had sought to protect. Now nothing felt safe, not even my own thoughts. I sagged against the harness, shudderingly weakly with aftershocks of the strain. I felt hollow, as though my insides had been turned inside out, and were now vulnerable and exposed to the cruel air. There had been no chance to redirect his invasion, and my first attempt to do so had been disastrous, as I'd inadvertently shown him the one thing I'd wanted to hide. Had he comprehended what he had witnessed? I couldn't be sure, everything had happened so fast.
All of my ambitions, all of my pride in my abilities now stood to mock me as monuments to my failure.
I provided no resistance now, not even a cursory struggle, as he opened the cuffs. Without the support of the harness, I almost collapsed, but two strong arms caught me and held me stable. After what he'd done to me, this show of kindness was unbearable. I hated him for it, for making me feel so powerless, so weak. As soon as I stood upon my own two feet, I shrugged him off of me, more to break contact with him than to get away.
Without a further word, he placed a hand on my shoulder and guided me toward the door. Whatever he was feeling, he kept withheld from me. We passed the same guard who held my weapons as he brought me to the same cell as before. The door opened and I entered. I sat upon the bench with my knees to my chest and held them close, as though they could protect me. Kylo Ren stood silently in the open doorway.
"I can see that you had no deliberate part in the escape," he said quietly. "Yet you are not innocent of wrongdoing."
I merely looked at him. Nothing he said mattered to me right now, not his judgment nor the sense of betrayal I detected in his words. I hated him with every fiber of my being, and I hated myself for letting him take what he wanted, for not doing more to fight him. He stepped further into the small room, taking up far too much space.
"Your thoughts… your feelings… I had suspected, but I couldn't be sure…"
"Now you know," I croaked, my eyes tightening into a weary glare, "how much I despise you. Every time you touch me, I hate myself."
I felt the briefest hint of anger, and offense, but it was gone, hidden away again. "I thought you might be something to me. That we could be something together. Instead, you have disappointed me."
"Fuck you and your disappointment," I growled.
I was almost not surprised when he took his lightsaber hilt in hand and activated it with a searing thrum, calling to mind the way his proximity sounded in my head. He held the crackling flame-like length of it down at an angle and I knew that he was not doing this as a show of temper or in an attempt to intimidate. Arcs of unstable energy flared and red light was thrown from the saber's blade, casting unsteady reflections in the dull metal of the cell's walls and floor and in the shining silver ridges around the eyes of his helmet. It drenched the black fabric of his clothing like blood.
For a long moment, the only sound was the static sound of the blade's erratic power flow. I didn't move, nor did I cower further. I merely looked into the glowing column of red, almost mesmerized by the sight of it, wondering how it would feel to have my flesh simultaneously pierced and cauterized by it.
I would have rathered die than answer to him any further, and I didn't bother concealing these thoughts from him. There was no point in concealing anything ever again. Still he didn't move.
"Do it," I heard myself say, my voice hoarse. He didn't respond. Shaking, I didn't break from his gaze and I felt his eyes on me.
Suddenly, the blade retracted, swallowed back into the hilt. His hands gripped the handle still, so tightly that I could imagine his knuckles were white.
"Supreme leader Snoke will decide your fate," he said finally, his voice strangely quiet. I could almost hear his real voice beneath the monstrous distortion, could almost picture his real face beneath the skull mask. I wondered if his plain features showed his pain where none could see it. A furious ball of heat expanded inside of me.
"Coward!" I screamed at him, my voice breaking as the rage burst like an explosion. I lashed out with my wrath and struck him, trying to goad him into attacking, but apart from a slight flinch, he was unaffected. "At least give me my weapons back so I can do it myself!"
Anger and sadness consumed me, and I couldn't tell whether it originated with me or with him. And then he turned and stepped out. I didn't jump up to stop him from closing the door this time. Instead, I tucked my head behind my arms, folded on top of my knees until I was locked in. I was alone once more.
Without someone to maintain the veneer of bravado for, I fell apart. I cried until my tears ran dry, and then I continued, my chest heaving with dry sobs. There was nothing else I could do. Kylo Ren had made sure of that.
It was perhaps an hour before I felt the ship shudder as it entered hyperspace. In a few short hours, we would return to Starkiller Base where death and judgement awaited me.
Author's Note: Just so you know, I really struggled with timing. The movie itself is never very specific about how much time has passed, but I assure you, I watched this part frame by frame so many times, studied the leaked script, even used the novelization to give me an idea of the sequence of events. If anything, I didn't allow enough time to pass. But if you're confused, Kylo Ren approached her and Force probed her before Finn escaped jakku with Rey. Riala has no idea at this point that Finn survived. The ship jumps to hyperspace to return to base after the Millenium Falcon leaves the surface of Jakku.
This chapter was pretty dark, I know. I wrote it many times, trying to find the right way for things to play out, but this was the only thing that felt believable, considering just how far she pushed things this time. If you notice any blaring inconsistencies, or continuity errors, do let me know. I'm not above fixing stuff after posting ;)
As always, thank you so much for reading.