Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!
Ed: …That gets really old.
Lexxa: EL PANTELONES DE FUEGO!
Ed: WHAT THE HELL?
Lexxa: That loosely translates to the pants are on fire.
Ed: …Did you really just try to make my pants catch on fire?
Lexxa: Yeah… It didn't work… ROY! CATCH HIS PANTS ON FIRE!
Roy: OKAY! –snaps fingers-
Ed: AHHHH! –runs around like an idiot-
Lexxa: I win. Anyway, welcome back, Sushi Hawkeye!
Riza: …Hate…sushi…
Lexxa: Get over it.
Riza: -aims guns at her-
Lexxa: Good luck with that. I'm invincible to your bullets!
Riza: …Wha?
Lexxa: I took a little each day and now I'm immune!
Ed: …I don't think it works that way…
Lexxa: Then try shooting me.
Riza: -shoots Lexxa-
Lexxa: -is fine- See? Told you!
Al: …How?
Lexxa: First up!
Really, Riza? You hate sushi? Okay…and you hate Roy, too? Why do you hate the two mentioned?
Riza: Sushi is for demons!
Lexxa: Hey, I like sushi!
Riza: My point exactly.
Lexxa: -slaps Riza's wrist- Bad girl! No!
Riza: -pulls away- As for why I hate Roy, one day he got drunk and almost raped me.
Roy: …Wha?
Lexxa: …And you're still his Lieutenant?
Riza: What can I say?
Lexxa: ...The dreams of Royai fans are crushed…
Btw, how was your date?
Riza: Well, he didn't try to rape me again, so fairly well, I suppose.
Lexxa: Seriously, how can you work for him?
Roy: I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO TRY TO RAPE YOU!
Al: …My view on you just drastically changed.
Ed: I knew it.
Lexxa: …I think I need to take you down a notch.
Ed: What do you mean?
Lexxa: You're too cocky. Maybe you should read Elricest after this…
Al: …What's that?
Lexxa: Ask Edward later. And, Edward, you're going to read some after the show.
Ed: I'm ready for everything!
Lexxa: More for Riza!
And now that you know how to dance ballet, I dare you to perform the Nutcracker. Surrender your guns to Ed, I don't trust an angry trigger happy lieutenant with not shooting. For the show, you can drag a few extra people in. Except Ed and Al.
Ed: Safe!
Riza: LEXXA, I CHOOSE YOU!
Lexxa: …Shit…
Riza: And Ling.
Ling: FUCK YEAH!
Lexxa: …Really, dude?
Ling: I love a chance to perform!
Lexxa: Of course you do…
Ling, Lexxa, and Riza: -go into a room to rehearse-
Nikolas: Etiam cum id, lets moventur erimus?
Subtitles: Well, while they do that, let's move on, shall we?
Hey, Ed! *high fives Ed*
Ed: Yeah!
I see you have survived the miniskirt and the milk. What was the color of the skirt Roy gave you?
Ed: …Pink…
And, congratulations, for not reacting to me, calling you shortstuff, Shortsuff. ^^ here's the largest block of my favorite dark chocolate that I could find! Enjoy!~~
Ed: FUCK YEAH!
Nikolas: Tam sordida verba in hoc ostende ...
Subtitles: Such dirty words on this show…
Ed: FUCK YEAH!
Al: You already said that!
Ed: So? –noms on chocolate-
Nikolas: ... Prosequens ...
Subtitles: …Continuing…
Al: want me to get him to drink milk again?
Al: FUCK YEAH!
Ed: COPY CAT!
Roy: Does it really matter who said fuck yeah first?
Ed: GET AWAY FROM ME, RAPIST!
Roy: SHHH! Don't let Camilla hear you!
Al: …Isn't it illegal to date a chicken?
Roy: …Five bucks says that you won't tell the Feds.
Al: …But aren't you the Feds?
Roy: Five bucks.
Al: …I'll take it. –takes five bucks-
Nikolas: Lac tempore, Edwardi.
Subtitles: Milk time, Edward.
Ed: …Shit. –drinks milk-
Al: He did it!
Nikolas: Deinde.
Subtitles: Next.
Lust: I always wondered how it would turn out if you were more childish than not. I dare you to be childish, for the next week!
Lust: …Crap…
Ed: KIDS DON'T SAY CRAP!
Lust: YOU DO!
Al: Lighten up. Kids don't yell like that.
Lust: …BUBBLEGUM!
Ed: …Bubblegum?
Lust: Bubblegum.
Al: …Okay then…
Lexxa: -comes out of room- HEAR ME, HEAR ME! THE MARCH OF THE NUTCRACKER IS ABOUT TO BEGIN! –goes back into room-
Ed: …Was Lexxa wearing a tutu?
Al: I think so…
Roy: We'd better get in there…
Ed and Al: SHUT UP, RAPIST!
Roy: I was drunk! I wasn't responsible for my actions!
Lust: DANCE DANCE TIME! –runs into room-
Everyone else: -goes into room-
Riza: -in ballerina outfit- -dances-
Ling: -comes out in costume- -dances-
Lexxa: -comes out in costume- -kicks Ling in the nuts-
Ling: -doubles over in pain-
Lexxa: I HOPE THAT YOU ENJOYED OUR PRESENTATION OF THE NUTCRACKER!
Ling: I DON'T THINK THAT THE NAME LITERALLY MEANS TO CRACK SOMEONE'S NUTS!
Riza: -laughing-
Everyone: -goes out of room-
Lexxa: Here's an ice pack, Ling. –hands Ling ice pack-
Ling: Fuck…you…
Lexxa: Well, Ling, you have a present from Sushi Hawkeye.
Ling: Present?
Ling: lol, defective palm tree. You get a 24hour all you can eat buffet for that, wherever you want.I'm paying. Take the Elric brothers with you. ^^
Ling: FOOD! –runs out of the room-
Lexxa: That cleared his mind of all the pain I caused him!
Ed and Al: -follow Ling-
Lexxa: I have a comment!
Lexxa: thanks! It seems my revenge on the defective palm tree is enough, for now. *snickers*
Lexxa: Ohh… Now I want a Snickers…
Lust: Candy!
Winry: Here. –hands over a lot of candy-
Lexxa: Next!
Olivier and the Pirate King: swordfight! The winner can order the loser around for the next 5days.
Lexxa: Olivier! Come hither!
Olivier: What? –comes hither-
Lexxa: You have a secret message!
Psst Liv! Here, use my sword with yours. Mine is strong enough to double as a shield, even against Bradley. I temporarily tweaked yours so it stays sharp, so sharp that even a glance at it might cut you. But it won't cut you, because you own it.
Olivier: Sweet. –takes sword- PIRATE KING, YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!
Pirate King: I don't even know who I am!
Lexxa: I'm serious! Who is this dude?
Olivier: -chases Pirate King with swords- COME HERE, YOU FUCKING COWARD!
Lexxa: Someone's gonna get it! But, while they duke it out, last thing!
smores! Here. Ingredients enough for all of you, including Gluttony and Ling, even after the buffet. Roy provides the flame for your smores creations. Eat up! The one who eats the most cleans up the mess! ^^
Lexxa: Isn't it supposed to be the one who eats the least?
Gluttony: I like that one better…
Lexxa: GLUTTONY! SINCE WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU'RE GOING TO EAT THE MOST, YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE ONE TO CLEAN UP! There, now we can all eat with ease.
Lust: I FREAKING LOVE SMORES!
Lexxa: Yes you do.
Everyone: -SMORE PARTY!-
Lexxa: Remember to review!
Roy: I think I overdid it with the smores…
Ed: Quit your whining.
Roy: Where did you go for the buffet?
Ed: …Al and I couldn't find Ling…
Ling: I GOT LOST!
Al: …
Roy: How did you get lost?
Ling: DON'T TALK TO ME, RAPIST! STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!
Roy: Ling…
Ling: I NEED AN ADULT!
Ed: …Roy is an adult…
Ling: THEN I NEED A DIFFERENT ONE!
Winry: I'LL BE YOUR ADULT!
Al: …Crazies…