Disclaimer: I don't own it. My apologies.

A/N: The fact behind the matter is that I love each and every one of my readers and reviewers. Mwah. You all rock. Seriously.

This chapter is a little slow but I promise that it will be the last like that! Bella and Edward have to jump one more hurtle before they can progress in their relationship like we all want them to! Next chapter… things heat up again!

Bella's POV was a little bitch to write—I almost did the whole thing EPOV but we would have missed a lot—so don't be pissed about Bella's part if it is sub-par!

Indulge your curiosity, Loves, with CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE!!

"I'm into you.
And girl, no one else would do.
Cause with every kiss and every hug,
You make me fall in love.
And now I know I can't be the only one.
I bet there heart's all over the world tonight,
With the love of their life who feels,
What I feel when I'm with you."

--"With You" by Chris Brown

Chapter Thirty-Five

EPOV

Time of Year? End of January—Two Months Later:

It had been about two months since the impromptu visit from Bella's Romanian friends. The pair of them was absolutely insane when they were together. I guess centuries upon centuries of being with each other constantly caused them to either not care about what other people were doing or they were just reckless.

They hadn't stayed too long after showing up, claiming that they never really enjoyed staying in one place for too terribly long. Not to mention Carlisle trying to persuade them to try our diet.

The Romanians blatantly refused.

They told Carlisle that while they commended him for his choices and ambition in his existence, they would appreciate if he didn't force his beliefs upon them. I believed they compared him to those door to door Mormons who tried to convert everyone to their beliefs and sell their books.

When they had said that, Carlisle banned them from hunting humans in the town of Adare using his typical "we don't want to risk exposure" excuse. But we all knew he was just worked up about their lack of morals and care for a human life.

Two days later they walked up to Bella, kissed her on the cheek, thanked Esme for her hospitality and left with empty promises of coming back for a visit again.

They fully intended on calling Bella though.

And that one name—the thing that was the driving force behind everything I did—brought my mind away from the rambunctious Romanians and back to a place where I needed to concentrate on.

Bella may not have realized it before but she was slipping. There were so many things being thrust onto her plate at once that she couldn't comprehend what needed to be done and how to handle it. If she had carried on for much longer she would have collapsed under the weight of the problems she hadn't even realized were plaguing her.

Something needed to be done before she crumbled.

That meant that she was going to have to put the brakes on her activities and excitement for a short span of time. She was always on the move, doing something productive. Whether it was reading a book or outside wrestling with Emmett and Jasper, she didn't stop. There was no red light on her life.

She had been avoiding, for the past two months since our conversation, sitting down for a few hours and thinking over what could be troubling her. I wasn't sure why she skirted around the topic—she had seemed genuinely surprised when I had broached the topic at first—but who was I, the guy who couldn't, for the life of me, read her mind, to try to figure out the enigma that was Bella Swan?

It was damn near impossible, really.

I had even went to Jasper a few weeks ago, asking him if he could tell me what was wrong with her since she obviously wasn't going to stop and contemplate it anytime soon.

Jasper was unhelpful to say the least.

He had asked me to give me a few days so that he could see if he felt any strange emotions from her. I easily agreed, hoping fruitlessly that he would turn over something of interest in his emotional diggings, but, in the end, he came back empty handed.

"Listen," He had sat me down and suggested right after he broke the bad news that he hadn't been able to tell that Bella was feeling anything out of the ordinary. "I think you really need to just talk to her. The excitement of the Romanians arriving and then with Esme's big Christmas plans onto of that, everything has consumed her thoughts for the past few weeks. But now that Christmas and New Year's are over, you really should sit down with her and remind Bella of your conversation."

His words had made perfect sense.

I smiled to myself as I remembered the cause for the distractions. It seemed as though Esme had wanted our family to have a big Christmas celebration because it was Bella and Marcus' first Holiday with us. It had been an enjoyable experience to say the least. However, Bella hadn't been able to spend much time with me as a result. She had been swamped almost every minute. Of course we would still manage to steal a few kisses and exchange a few words here and there, but it was mostly done in passing.

"One more thing," Jasper had stopped me before I could leave. "I am feeling that you are worried for some reason. Is it simply that you are worried about Bella or is it more?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "I am worried that she is ignoring what I had told her. Purposely forgetting about it so that she doesn't have to think about what could be troubling her." I confessed, wondering if that was absurd as it sounded to me.

"No, I think she really did just forget." Jasper had smiled at me, dousing the flame of my fears easily with his cool demeanor, patting my back once before exiting the room and leaving me to think of the best way possible to broach the topic with Bella again.

It took me a few weeks to decide, but in the end, I decided that being blunt was the way to go.

One of the main things Bella had called me out on from the get-go was my tendency to candy-coat issues to make them seem less severe. She hadn't liked it then and I doubt that she would like it now.

Therefore, candy-coating was out.

That really only left me with bluntness. It, admittedly, wasn't a bad idea, really. It saved me the trouble of having to creatively craft my words to pad the harsh news. Plus Bella would be happy to just have me tell it to her straight. Perhaps that would warm her up for what I would say.

With my decision fresh in mind, I made my way downstairs and outside into the brisk January night, knowing exactly where I would be able to find Bella at this time. She had developed somewhat of a ritual.

At night she would spend an hour sitting on one of the benches in the garden looking at the flowers that were still alive in the frigid Irish winter. She claimed that the moon light made everything more beautiful

"You were right." I stated as I strolled up to the stone bench that Bella was perched on, her long, dainty fingers stroking the petals of some unidentifiable type of buttercup yellow perennials.

Her head shot up, smiling brightly upon seeing me. She patted the spot next to her on the bench. I smiled back at her as I sat down, her hand and mine automatically finding each other and intertwining.

"What was I right about? I thought you were usually right." She teased me, her beautiful voice coming out quietly, a musical quality looping and twining with her speech.

"Not about this." I leaned in and brushed a soft kiss on her cheek. "You were right about the garden being more beautiful at night. The moonlight really changes what one sees." I looked around, paying close attention to how the shadows glanced off of the velvet soft petals and the moonlight illuminated the tips of the leaves and petals in an almost picturesque quality. With the manor in the background it was an ideal Thomas Kinkade painting.

"The way the moon interacts with the flowers is eerie. It gives the garden a secretive, mystic quality, I guess. It makes it more intriguing." Bella confided in me, a soft smile gracing her full lips. "It is such a contrast from the daylight. The sun shows everything—exposes their carefully hidden secrets to everyone while the moon conceals them from the prying eyes."

I couldn't help but notice the parallels that Bella was drawing here. We had left flowers far behind and now we had veiled metaphors for ourselves, as vampires, floating around.

"We are creatures of the night for a reason." I squeezed Bella's hand lightly. "The moon is our safe-haven from those who would persecute us for what we are. It allows us to tread without fear of exposure. The sun, as you said, reveals it all. It strips us down to the very essence of our beings."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, each of us lost in our own thoughts as I looked around the garden. Most of the plants were dormant for the winter but there were a few that were still thriving despite the cool climate.

"Bella," I began, breaking the silence that had settled around us. I stood up and crouched in front of Bella, trying to stay at eye-level with her. "I need to ask you something."

Something flashed across Bella's eyes before she quickly looked around in panic. I had no idea what she was doing until I realized that she had misinterpreted my words and actions.

"No, no! I am not proposing, love." I chuckled as her posture relaxed inestimably. I was a little hurt by her reaction to the idea of marriage, but I couldn't think of that right now. I was on a mission.

Bella nodded, relieved, with a smile on her face.

"Anyways, do you remember that conversation we had right before the Romanians arrived a few months ago?" I asked, hoping that she did remember. That would save me time.

Bella sat there, lost in thought for a few moments as she played absentmindedly with the silver bracelet I had given her for Christmas. It was a bauble of my mom's from my human life. It had a large diamond heart hanging off of the thick chain. I had, however, added a small silver bat charm as a joke. It had her name on one wing and mine on the other. I internally laughed at the memory of her face when I had given it to her before I looked up, dragging myself back to the present. Her expression had lost its confusion and instantly brightened as she recalled the conversation to which I was referring to.

"I remember it." Bella leaned forwards, towards where I was still kneeling at in front of her. Her hands reached out towards my face, one cupping my chin while the other ran through my hair. "I am sorry that I haven't thought about what could be bothering me. I guess it slipped my mind."

"That is perfectly fine, love. We have the week ahead of us completely free. Esme is just going to be touching up the paint while Emmett, Rose and Alice help out Marcus with a few things he wanted to do." I smiled up at her, her ruby eyes retaining a ring of light gold around the edges.

The moon was high in the sky, the world around us bathed in its soft glow. The silence of the night echoed off of the trees, calming the night with its presence. An owl hooted off in the distance, calling out for an answer it wouldn't receive, breaking the calm that had settled.

It remained perfect.

I stood up slowly, lightly grabbing Bella's hand and pulling her up with me. She shot me a look of confusion as I pulled her away from the bench and toward the middle of the garden.

"Dance with me, Isabella." I whispered, not wanting to ruin what we had going here. The moment was too perfect to resist. And so was she.

The grey-blue light illuminated the soft plains of her face, her eyes glittering with excitement as she nodded her head once, allowing me to pull her to me, lifting up her body so that her tiny feet rested onto of mine just like they had years ago in the stuffy Forks High Gymnasium.

With only the music of the night to guide us, we swayed gracefully to the silence, reveling in the peace of it all. It was splendid and extraordinary. It was everything I had dreamed of for years and more. The completion I felt filled me to the brim, overflowing around the edges as I hugged my Reason to me, letting the scent that was uniquely her wash over me.

"I love you." I whispered, pulling back slightly so that I could pick up her wrist, kissing the diamond heart that weighed down on the chain.

"And I love you, too. Forever." She said simply as if that was the only thing she knew to be truth.

"Forever," I agreed, knowing that I was never going to take a minute—a second—of that forever for granted.

BPOV

When Edward left me that night, going to visit with Esme for a little while since he hadn't really talked to her in a few days, I took the opportunity that the solidity presented me with to go and think things over like Edward had suggested.

I ran out towards the edges of the property where I knew that there weren't as many trees, densely packed into the forest. When the trees started thinning I veered north, away from any villages or towns that might happen upon me.

In front of me, the hills rose up out of the land. They were the bright colors of green that I had become shockingly used to; the tips of the grass' blades were heavily bent toward the hard earth, weighed down by the morning dew turned ice.

I slowed down as I reached the base of the biggest hill, my heavy hiking boots crunching against the crisp ice as I walked at a normal pace up the steep hill. I managed to make it to the top after slipping once, landing on my ass and sliding down a few feet before I got my wits about me and stood back up. The butt of my jeans was sufficiently soaked.

I stood on top of the hill, taking a deep breath, inhaling the cool scent of the night air letting it clear my head and focus my sense on the task at hand.

I slowly sat down, not caring that the seat of my pants looked like I had peed myself from the wetness of the ground below me. The temperature of the weather around me had no effect on my granite skin. The weather and I simply were there—coexisting in a commutative relationship in which neither of were harmed nor did we benefit. We were simply tolerated by the other.

I sat there for what must have been six or seven hours, stoic and unmoving as my mind processed anything and everything I could possibly be plagued by. My searched resulted in nothing.

I promised myself, however, that I would not give up on this that easily. Edward obviously was worried about my well-being and it would be rude to completely brush him off when I had already promised give the matter some thought.

With that in mind, I returned to the little hill every day for three days as I pondered the plausible causes of depression or anything that may just bother me in the slightest.

On the fourth day when I arrived at the hill, I had a good feeling. Today was going to be a good day I hoped, praying that my thoughts were not in vain.

Right then the wind swirled around me, picking up a fallen leaf in its streamlined current. I watched as the little leaf, crumpled and brown, wafted through the thick air of the pre-dawn night.

I envied that leaf in that moment.

It floated through the air carelessly. It was free to explore the world as it wished as long as the wind would support it. The leaf knew no boundaries. There was no reason why it couldn't wander off, past the edge of the Cullen's property. It didn't have worry about possibly killing any innocent passerby. It was a leaf. Its only enemy was time and wears and tears that eventually come with the decay of time—things that I didn't have to worry about.

The leaf continued its frail journey, riding the consistent wind down the hill before it snagged on a low branch of a pine tree on the edge of the wooded area.

And just like that, it was over.

I sighed softly as I leaned back on my elbows, my legs spread out in front of me. Maybe I was more like the leaf than I thought. Even though I wasn't frail in the physical sense, like the leaf, I was in the emotional sense.

I was a confused bundle of nerves and excitement. I wanted to explore but I was always hesitant about going too far in fear that I would stumble across things that would provoke my instinct and cause me to lose control; resulting in circumstances I shuddered to think of, let alone consider.

I was similar to the leaf in more ways than that though. There was, above all, the reliance I had on the Cullens. I leaned on them for support, expecting them to have all of the answers to get me through the first year or so of my change. I relied on them to guide me and take me to where I should be at just like the leaf relied on the wind to take it places. It was not under its own jurisdiction.

Maybe I didn't envy the leaf as much as I originally thought.

I pitied it.

While it relied on the wind to take it places, the wind wasn't always gusting though the country side. And when it was elsewhere, the leaf was left to its own lowly devices. I, however, had constants in my life. The Cullens would always be there, encouraging me to lean on them. They wouldn't disappear on me, leaving me caught in the brambles, only to return days later and forcefully rip me out of the thickets that surrounded the leaf. No, the Cullens wouldn't do that to me.

The early rays of the morning sun rose up over the horizon of the distant hills, falling on the earth around me. When the rays fell on my body, illuminating my diamond hard skin, casting small rainbows across the slopes of the surrounding hills and wooded areas, understanding dawned upon me, clear as the light of day I was seeing now.

I rolled up my pants, cuffing them around my knees as I stared at my legs in wonder, doing the same with the sleeves of my shirt, too.

I was different in every way.

And therein laid the source of my problems; the little things Edward had been picking up on from me for the past few months.

My insecurities had been a part of me for so long that they had carried over from my human life into my vampire one. I knew that they were unfounded, these feelings of worry, but even if I had no basis for them, my fear always ran rampant.

I was afraid that Edward would not want me anymore simply because I was no longer me in the technical sense of things. I didn't have any of the human qualities which he enjoyed so much anymore. I was as hard and cold as he.

It was stupid, I knew that, but it was still very much a part of my reality.

With a deep sigh I admitted the tough truth to myself out loud, knowing that I needed to confront it head on. Like they say to do with bulls.

"Insecure," I breathed dubiously. "I am insecure."

"Insecure about what?" Emmett asked, appearing behind me. Startled, I let out a little squeak as I whipped my head around to look at him, my eyes zoning in on a small spot of blood dotting the collar of his shirt.

"You get a little messy with dinner, Em?" I asked, avoiding the question. I had promised Edward that he would be the one I would go to if I figured out what was bothering me. I planned on keeping that promise… well, maybe not…

"Yeah, it happens when the stupid thing won't stop thrashing around even after it is obvious I won." Emmett shrugged casually as he sat down beside me, sparkling in the sun right along side of me.

I nodded my head in understanding, still watching my legs glitter in the sun.

"What was that insecure pep talk about earlier?" Emmett asked again as he shrugged off his jacket, laying it out behind himself so that he could lie back without getting soaked by the soppy ground.

"Any chance you will drop it?" I grimaced down at his concerned face. He was such a sweet boy. I was touched by his concern. It was misplaced, but the sentiment was still there.

"Nope. I want to know what is bothering you and I won't stop until I find out." Emmett grinned mischievously at me.

"Ugh, fine!" I groaned out, dropping down onto my back beside him. "It is sort of between Edward and I so don't let him know that I told you before I told him. All right, Emmett?"

He nodded his head in understanding; making a motion to show that his lips were locked. "I am all ears, Bella."

I sighed before I rolled up on my side, propping myself up on my elbow so that I could look down at him. "I know my fears are irrational but I can't help but feel that there is some truth to them. Edward always used to say how he loved my blush, the way I ate, watching me sleep, the scent of my shampoo… the human things I did! And now I am not so human anymore, am I?"

"No, you aren't human, but those are the stupidest reasons for being insecure I have ever heard. And I have heard a lot, Bella." Emmett sat up quickly, facing me fully.

"I know, I just can't shake it." I confessed, shaking my head in disdain for myself.

"We can let go of those feelings easily." Emmett said confidently. "Don't hold on to all of life's hardest parts. You need to just talk this out with Edward, I am sure he will understand and help you get over this. I think it is something that you two can easily overcome with a little help from each other."

"I feel stupid for even feeling like this in the first place." I scrubbed a hand over my face in frustration at myself.

"Go, talk to him." Emmett stood up, folding his jacket over his arm before he started walking down the hill at human speed.

"All right, I will do that now." I sighed as I followed him, both of us walking casually back to the house talking about everything we had been up to for the past few days. Emmett commented on our need to have another fighting lesson. I laughed and agreed with him as we came into sight of the Manor.

"Talk to him." Emmett repeated his words from earlier as he pulled me into a hug, giving me a big, wet kiss on the cheek, noisily smacking his lips against my skin before he turned and disappeared into the garage.

"Edward," I called when I walked into the front door. I hoped he had heard me. I didn't feel much like searching for him right now.

"Yes, love." Edward answered as he came down the stairs gracefully, his long, lean legs covering the distance between us easily.

"I was thinking, like you asked me to…" I trailed off, taking a greedy, unneeded gulp of air before continuing. "I figured it out, I guess. It is really stupid and you will probably laugh at me for even remotely feeling this, but I need to tell you anyways."

Edward's lips twitched up into a smile but he instantly tried to hide it.

"I saw that, Cullen! This isn't a laughing matter." I huffed annoyed that he was going to laugh at me when this was his idea all along.

"I am sorry; it is just that you spewed those words out so fast that I had to listen to catch every word." He laughed openly now at my rushed sentences. "That is saying something since I am practiced in the art of understanding loony talk. You have to be fluent to know Alice."

"For that I am not telling you." I frowned at him as I tried to resist the urge to stick my tongue out at him in a purely immature moment. That would probably cause him to laugh harder so I didn't even bother.

"I apologize, Bella." Edward said seriously after he had contained the last of his little chuckles. "It was just too cute to see you talk like that. The last time you did that you were-"

I cut him off quickly, seeing my opening into the topic I needed to broach. "I was what? A human?" I shrugged. "That is the problem…" I trailed off as I waited for Edward to realize what I was saying. However, understanding never dawned on his features.

"I am lost." Edward confessed after a moment of consideration on his part as he processed my words.

I scrunched my face up in concentration before I answered him, a little hesitant as to how he would take the whole thing. "I can't help but think that maybe you only really liked me for the human things I did. And now that I am no longer human, will you still have the same draw to me? The same attraction that you felt before?" I ran a hand roughly through my hair, sighing loudly. "I know it is stupid, but you asked me to figure out what was bothering me. Well, there you go."

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Edward whispered as he reached out, pulling me into a hug. "If anything, my love for you has only grown since you were changed."

"You mean it?" I squeaked out.

"Yes I do." Edward smiled, placing a chaste kiss on my lips. "I no longer have to control my strength or thirst around you. I am free to just be… well, me."

I smiled hugely up at Edward. "I told you it was a stupid fear."

"And you were right." Edward chuckled down at me before kissing any and all of my fears away, easily. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I smiled into his shoulder as I hugged him back, hard. I was extremely glad to have had Edward with me. Any other guy probably would have laughed in my face and told me I was an insecure, clingy little girl. But he would never do that.

We were still standing in the foyer when Esme walked in with Marcus in tow, a resigned expression on her face, an even more solemn one on Marcus' as he stared at the floor, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"What happened?" I asked as I quickly released Edward, walking quickly over to meet the two. Their expression had me fretting that someone was seriously injured.

"Marcus is leaving us." Esme admitted solemnly, Carlisle appeared behind her, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Marcus," I looked to him questioningly. "Why? Why so soon? I figured you would at least hang around for a year or two."

"I was planning on it Bella," Marcus replied, his eyes still fixed on the marble of the flooring. It was pissing me off that he wasn't looking up and it scared me too. What was he hiding from me? "I really was. But, fate had other plans for me."

Marcus looked up right then, his ruby eyes meeting mine, pleading with me to understand.

Ruby.

I had become accustomed to Marcus' golden honey eyes that he had acquired since he had started dieting the way the Cullens did. But ruby—ruby meant he had slipped.

"Marcus," I groaned walking quickly over to him. "Just because you slipped up doesn't mean you have to leave. Everyone makes mistakes. It is perfectly normal!"

"No, Bella. I have to leave. As much as I love spending time with you and your new family, I don't belong here. This," he motioned towards his eyes, "just reinforces that truth. So, yes, I need to go. I want to explore the places that I haven't been in years. I want to visit my home town… I just need to get out."

"All of this because you accidentally slipped?" I asked accusingly, not believing that his mistake was the sole factor behind his leaving us.

"It has been coming, I have known since I agreed to tag along with you guys to the Manor, here. The fact that I killed a person again was just the catalyst." Marcus pulled me into a hug. "I have been cooped up in Volterra for too long. Now that I have my freedom, I need to explore."

I hugged him back as nodded into his chest. "Have fun." I told him, knowing that I couldn't do anything to stop him from leaving if he wanted to.

"I promise to come back and visit. And I will always keep in touch." Marcus pulled away, pulling a new cell phone out of his pocket. It was an exact replica of the one I had with the Volturi, just less scratched up.

"I have programmed my cell number in here so that you can always call me to check in and let me know where you are or where I am." He smiled as he placed the phone in my hand, curling my fingers around it.

"Thank you." I smiled, glad that he was at least planning on staying in touch with us. I would have felt terrible if he had left and not looked back.

"No problem, kid. Just remember to call. I don't want you to forget me." Marcus instructed me jokingly.

We all stood around, discussing what Marcus was planning on doing when he left here, but we couldn't seem to create any definite plans. Marcus finally just said that he was taking a small suitcase with the necessities, the Blastolene, and he was just going to drive until he felt like stopping.

A day later, Marcus was bidding us good-bye with the promise of visiting at least every five years. If not, I had permission to hunt him down and demand a visit. I liked that agreement very much.

Edward and I stood, hand in hand, and watched as the dust kicked up behind the tires of Marcus' car as it sped down the drive and out of sight.

"Now what?" I asked, turning towards Edward.

"We will figure out something to do, I am sure." Edward assured me as we returned into the house, settling in for another night of reading and enjoying each other's company.

A/N: Quote Hunt! Hannah Montana. Shut up. Haha.

We will probably see Marcus again. Soon. So all you Marcus lovers (like me) don't fret, I hope to work him into a future chapter!

Annndddddd…. How did you like the chapter? I was a little iffy so let me know I did good!