Lisa sat on the sofa, the television was on but had no idea what the programme was. Belle was asleep with her head on her lap and she was gently running her fingers over and over through the little girl's hair. Tears were steadily running down her face and occasionally she would wipe at them with a tissue, it didn't seem like they would be stopping anytime soon. The door behind her opened with a clatter and she turned quickly with her finger to her lip to let whoever was coming in know that they should keep quiet.
"Sorry" Eli half whispered as him and Sam came in and shut the door behind them carefully.
"It's all right, I just didn't want to wake her up" Lisa said sniffing and wiping at her eyes again.
"Do you want me to take her up to bed?" Sam asked nodding at the sleeping girl.
"I guess" she said reluctantly. Part of her didn't want to let her go, wanted to hold on to her forever.
Sam walked around the sofa and carefully picked Belle up, being especially mindful of her still casted arm.
"Thanks Sammy" Lisa smiled up at him and patted his cheek fondly.
As Sammy walked off upstairs Eli took the seat next to her and without asking put his arm around her and pulled her to him.
Lisa allowed herself to really cry the, Eli didn't say a word just sat there in silence and let her.
"So today was bad then?" he said eventually when she'd calmed down.
"Yeah, you could say that" Lisa sniffed and grabbed another tissue to blow her nose. "I though I knew, I thought I had some idea, but watching that video, hearing him say what that vile man did to him, it was so much worse than I thought, and he was just so upset. I've never seen someone hurting that much".
"Zak's still at pub, he wouldn't say anything about it, but I wouldn't expect him to come home in any fit state" Eli told her.
"I guess everyone has there own way of dealing with it" Lisa said sadly.
"What do you think Aaron's is?" Eli asked looking a little bit worried.
"I have no idea" Lisa sighed."I don't know how he's lived with it for so long. That poor lad. You know when he first came here I didn't like him, I thought he was nothing but trouble, I just wish I'd taken the time to talk to him, to find out what was going on".
"Well like they say if wishes were horses" Eli shrugged.
"What on earth are you on about?" Lisa frowned at him.
"You know, that saying, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride" Eli tried to explain.
"What have beggars got to do with anything?"
"Well just that you know, you can't wish for...never mind. Do you want a cuppa?" he asked getting up.
"Go on then" she said sinking back into the sofa.
"So Zak said Moira was the only other person they got round to today" Eli said from the kitchen as he put the kettle on.
"Yeah, the barrister said Chas will be first tomorrow".
"Bet she's bricking it".
"She's strong our Chas, she'll do good" Lisa told him. She just hoped Chas believed that.
Zak sat at the bar, well more like he was leaning on it. Diane watched with sad eyes as he tried to drink himself into oblivion. Cain had been called and was on his way to get him apparently, but in the mean time she was keeping a close eye on him.
"Is he okay?" Ryan asked from where he sat at the end of the bar with Andy.
"I'd say he's a far way from okay pet" Diane said in response.
"It was the first day of the trial today wasn't it?" Andy asked.
"Yes" Diane said quietly, not wanting Zak to overhear them and think they were gossiping.
"Debbie nipped in the garage earlier, she said Aaron did amazing but that it was all really hard to hear" Ryan told them both.
"I still can't believe no-one knew" Andy said a little too loudly as he took a drink of his pint before putting it back down.
"What was that?" Zak slurred from the other end of the bar.
"Oh, er nothing Zak. Don't worry about it" Andy tried to brush it away.
"No...no it's not nothing is it. You're right we should...we should have known" Zak wiped a weary hand over his face, before picking his own pint up again. He drained it and then gestured for Diane to get him another one.
"I think you might have had enough" Diane said.
"I'll be judge of that" he glared at her.
"Cain will be here in a minute, go home to Lisa, sleep it off Zak" Diane patted his hand.
"I can't do that" Zak said his head hanging down. "I'm sp'osed to be head of this family, but all I do is let 'em down".
"Oh come on Zak that's not true" Ashley said from where he was sitting with Laurel.
"You don't know, ya didn't have to listen to what I did today" Zak pointed his finger at him accusingly. "What 'appened to that lad, what he went through, and we did nothing, nothing I tell you" he got up from his stool and started to sway.
Luckily Cain walked in just at that minute. He took one look at the situation and was at the older man's side in an instant. He grabbed him round the waist. Zak looked like he might swing for him for a minute and then he saw who it was.
"You, you were there. Tell 'em, tell 'em how horrible it was" he said. "Tell 'em what that sick bastard did to our Aaron".
"They don't need to hear that Dad" Cain was surprisingly calm. "Come on, let's get you home".
Diane thought he might resist but then it was like all the fight had gone out of him and he slumped against his son and let him guide him out of the pub.
"That poor family" Laurel said staring after them sadly.
"Yes indeed" Ashley agreed. They all went back to their drinks but no one spoke for a while.
Chas felt like she might be sick at any minute. She had spent a restless night tossing and turning next to Paddy. In the end she had got up and come downstairs to make herself a drink. The sun was just coming up but it was still hours until they would need to leave for court. It wasn't much later that she heard footsteps on the stairs. Aaron walked into the kitchen and joined her at the table. She didn't say anything to him but she got up and made him a coffee before sitting back down next to him.
He looked worse than she felt. He somehow managed to look like he'd aged 10 years in a day and like a lost little boy all at the same time.
"How you doing?" she asked giving him a small smile of encouragement. He just shrugged and bit his lip. She knew how much this was taking out of him, she just had to hope he could get through these next few days and then no matter what, it would be over. At least after today she would be able to sit by his side for the rest of it. The thought of taking the stand today filled her with dread, what if she messed it up? What if everything he'd been through turned out to be for nothing because of something she said? Today felt like the most important of her life and she wasn't sure she was up to the task.
"Ready for today?" she asked him.
"Yeah" he said picking at his fingernails again. "You?"
"Absolutely" she said it with such conviction that she almost believed it herself.
"It won't be easy" he told her, as if he was the parent giving her guidance. "Especially with him sitting there, watching you". She was trying not to think about that part. The thought of seeing Gordon scared her, not because she was scared of him but because she was scared of what she might do. What if she lost it and tried to attack him? That was going to be the hardest part of today, keeping calm.
"Nothing will stop me from speaking up for you today" she told him, taking her hand in his and stopping him from once again worrying at his fingernails, they already looked so sore, it was painful to see.
He looked back at her with tears in his eyes and in a choked voice said "thanks for sticking by me".
"Oh sweetheart, how could I do anything else"? her own eyes filled with tears. He looked down at the table and wiped a tear away with his clenched fist.
"Sometimes you just break my heart" Chas said leaning forward and pulling him in for a hug. She hated that he still felt so unsure of himself. Like he thought she would abandon him in the middle of all this, it really did break her heart.
All in all it didn't go as badly as she'd feared. The defense had obviously tried to paint her as a terrible mother and hearing all her failures laid out like that was horrible, she felt like everyone was judging her. But even though she couldn't really deny that pretty much everything he said was true she managed to keep her self together. At one point he'd even tried to suggest that Aaron was just doing this all for attention, because he was jealous of her relationship with Paddy but it had sounded like a weak argument and even he hadn't really followed it up. The only truly awful part had been when he'd implied that Aaron accusing Gordon had made her feel better about herself because then she could blame his problems on that rather than her abandoning him. She saw the way Aaron winced when she'd described how the guilt of leaving him made her feel sick and she knew it was yet another thing he was feeling guilty for.
But finally it was over and after a short break she was able to join Aaron in the gallery. She sat by his side where she belonged.
She felt her son tense up beside him as his stepmother was called to the stand.
Sandra shot nervous looks at everyone, her eyes lingering on Aaron for a moment before looking away guiltily.
Chas found herself glaring at the woman, hearing her describe her relationship with both Aaron and Gordon. For years she had been jealous of the closeness that she thought the woman had shared with her son, but sat hear listening to her she realised that it had mostly been a lie. Chas had let him down by not being there physically but Sandra had been there and she had let him down in every other way. She played the victim but iN some ways she was as much to blame as Gordon himself for Aaron's suffering. Chas knew she should be grateful that she had decided to speak up at all but all she felt listening to her was anger.
"So moving on from the suspisions you had about your husband's actions towards his son, was Gordon Livesy ever violent with you?" the prosecution's barrister asked.
"Yes" Sandra hung her head.
"Would you tell us about that?"
"It was not long after Aaron left...we were just having a stupid argument. I can't even remember what it was about, but he shoved me, I fell over" Sandra spoke quietly.
"Was that the only time he was violent with you?"
"Pretty much, but he was always very controlling. Gordon likes things his way. He get's really angry if he doesn't get his way".
"So he was only violent with you once Aaron left? Why do you think that is?"
"Because...because when Aaron was with us it was always him that wound Gordon up. He was the one Gordon got most angry with" Sandra glanced up at Aaron before fixing her gaze back on the barrister. Chas felt Aaron tense up beside her, she put her hand on his leg and squeezed.
"Could you give us an example of a time that Aaron wound his father up?"
Sandra looked like she wanted to run away. She reached out and took a drink of water before she spoke again.
"I remember there was one time, a couple of years ago, Aaron must have been about fourteen. He'd been out with his friends and when he came home he stank of cigarette smoke. When Gordon asked him about it he got really cheeky, he just always seemed to know how to wind him up, there was this face he would pull that...Well Gordon just snapped, he hit him round the face, he split his lip he hit him that hard" Chas felt Aaron flinch next to her, as though he was feeling that hit all over again. She took his hand in her hers and squeezed.
"Was that a one off, or was Gordon violent on more than one occasion?" the barrister asked.
"I mean...I don't...It didn't happen every day but it happened more than it should I guess".
"You guess?" the barrister asked, she sounded slightly less than professional in her tone. "I would say hitting a child hard enough to split their lip shouldn't ever happen. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Yes" Sandra mumbled.
"So you personally witnessed Gordon Livesy be physically violent with Aaron LIvesy on more than one occasion?"
"Yes".
"And he was violent and controlling with you?"
"Yes".
"Do you believe that he is capable of the crimes he is accused of today?"
Sandra wiped a hand across her cheek and took a deep breath before she answered.
"Yes".
"Thank you, no further questions".
The barrister for the defense stood up then. He looked at some of the notes in front of him before speaking.
"It's no secret that you and Mr Livesy have had a less then ideal relationship, you have just recently filed for divorce have you not?"
"Yes" Sandra glanced at Gordon and then away again.
"So this court case plays into your hands really doesn't it? It couldn't have come at a better time".
"If you mean did it give me reason to finally do it then yes, you could say that" Sandra started back at him.
"Why now though, what difference does it make now?"
"Because now I know what he did to Aaron, how could I stay with him?"
"So you're saying you didn't know before, even though you've just testified that you did" the man narrowed his eyes at her.
"No...I...always suspected".
"Oh yes, some wet pajamas you found" he sounded patronising, Chas knew he was only doing his job but she'd still like to wipe that smug smirk of his face.
"No it was more than that" Sandra pleaded.
"Um" he sounded like he didn't believe a word she was saying. "Would you say that Aaron Livesy was the cause of a lot of your problems?"
"No, not really" Sandra answered, her voice shaking.
"So you didn't argue about his behaviour?"
"Well yes, sometimes".
"Did you get along with your step son?"
"Um...yes...most of the time".
"Was there anything you didn't like about him?"
"Well no not really, he's a teenage boy he can be a handful sometimes, but that doesn't mean I didn't...don't love him".
Chas heard Aaron take a shuddering breath and she looked over to see him once again with tears in his eyes.
"What would you say you argued with him about the most?"
"He would go out when he wasn't supposed to, and sometimes he would steal things from us, like alcohol. He would always lie about it when we caught him out as well"
"So Aaron Livesy is a habitual liar?" the man seemed to latch onto her comment with glee.
"No" Sandra looked stricken that her words were being used like that. "Just like most teenagers, he would lie to get out of trouble" she tried to explain.
"Exactly" he looked smug at her choice of words. Chas had a feeling Sandra had just played exactly into his hands.
"So you've stated that Gordon Livesy pushed you once. But isn't it true that Aaron was actually more violent with you than that? Didn't he hit you hard enough to give you a black eye?"
"Yes, but that was because he was scared that his dad was going to hurt him" Sandra was crying now, Chas almost felt sorry for her.
"So he lashed out at you?"
"Yes".
"Well that hardly seems fair does it. Why did he hit you and not his father?"
"Because I was in his way".
"And Aaron doesn't like it when things get in his way does he? He lashes out. Isn't it true that what actually happened that night was that you caught him stealing alcohol yet again and when you threatened to tell his father about it he lashed out at you and hit you?"
"What...no...that's not how it happened" Sandra tried to argue with him.
"Really?"
"Yes it's like I said. I heard them in the bathroom. Aaron said...you can't so that to me anymore" she gave a small sob. "Then he came out of the bathroom and I was in his way and that's when it happened".
"So if you were so sure what his words meant, if it confirmed doubts you'd already had, why didn't you say anything, why didn't you leave that night too?"
"Because I didn't want to believe it and because I was ashamed" Sandra cried out.
"Or isn't it the case that you still aren't sure who to believe? Because either your husband or your step son is lying and either way that makes you look like a terrible person for either not protecting a vulnerable child or for not standing by your husband and abandoning him when he needs you most".
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry" Sandra sobbed but Chas couldn't decide who she was saying it too. Not until she looked up at where Aaron was sitting. "Please forgive me?" she asked him. Aaron didn't say anything, he didn't move, but she felt him trembling next to her.
"No further questions" the barrister said, the disdain in his voice palpable.
"We'll adjourn for the day" the Judge said and Chas breathed a sigh of relief, she wasn't sure how much more she could hear today. She couldn't help feeling that Sandra had just done more harm than good, only time would tell.