Naruto; What If
Fifth Arc; Golden Age
My standard form of writing applies.
" " - Spoken
' ' - Thought
"Jutsus" - Jutsu. Some are kinda bastardized, so don't expect much.
( ) - Commentary. You should know how this goes by now. We see things. I have snarky smartass comments. You want laughs. I see a mutually beneficial deal here.
~~Badadumdunbum~~
Chapter 38 - Big Mistake...
~~Badadumdunbum~~
One week later
Today's been a pain in the ass ever since I woke up.
Anko had to run out the door early, said she had a mission of some sorts, so my balls were feeling blue as shinobi sandals. Moving on. Zabuza and Haku got through the Anbu examination, so they were good to go as ninjas.
However.
They were restricted to lower-level missions until their probationary period expired, so I had to hear them complain a bit. Not much, but enough to leave me feeling annoyed over it. Not to menton Haku got real pissed off after he got called Shota and Okama by nearly half the village.
Heh, I thought it was pretty funny. Really brightened my day.
Which, I tried to spend training, but I was ALWAYS getting called off by something or another. Couldn't even get a chance to take a piss without everyone and his mother coming to bug the piss outta me.
Had to hear Tenten bitch me out about something. Not sure what, since I was kinda tuning her out, but something.
After that, it was my day off, and I STILL had to go and run an errand for Tsunade. Apparently, she'd gotten a bit drunk and needed someone who could perfectly copy several documents, down to the smallest detail.
Since I happen to have a sharingan, guess who got voluntold to get crackin'? Ugh, my wrists were killing me. That stack of papers was at least two feet high!
And it seemed to GROW whenever I looked away!
Anywho.
By the time I got all that done, wound up fetching her coffee and booze,(More booze, I should say) it was dark out. So I was on my way to the training field to finally work on my lightning-nature chakra some more, however.
Above all that, there was somehting that was pissing me off even more. All day, it felt like someone was watching me. I could feel their eyes following me, hidden in the shadows.
Really unnerving.
As I marched down to the training field, I figured I would yell at whoever it was to come out and fight me, othewise I was going hunting.
Wait-
"OH SHIT!"
Kin is fixing dinner tonight! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
I turned, hauling ass down the road. Ack, if I was late, she was going to beat me to a pulp with a bloody ladle, and those things really hurt!
~~Badadumdunbum~~
I was running down the main route, the one leading directly to the main gate but happened to also run right by the Uchiha compound. I got halfway when the hair on the back of my neck stood on-end.
Coming to a dead stop, I activated my sharingan, turning around to glare at whoever had just-
Snuck up and surrounded me. Jashin damnit.
Four individuals, wearing similar outfits; greyish-white tunics and purple rope-belts.
...?
Orochimaru's goons? Huh, I thought he gave up on me.
Right-o, the Sound Four. "So, you're the punks who've been following me all day. Finally grew some balls when I was all alone, ya?"
The first to speak was the effeminate one with white-ish hair, however the redheaded girl started snickering. "Shut up, Tayuya. We are the Sound Four; and you are coming with us."
I quirked an eyebrow. "Oh? Or what, mister fairy? You gonna sic your siamese twin on me? Or is spidey here gonna spit cobwebs at me? Ooh, ooh, maybe the big guy'll do something unpredictable! Like trying to sit on me. Hell, maybe ginger on the other end'll play me a lullaby."
Oooh, I think I pissed a few of them off, 'cept the redhead. She was chuckling, shaking her head. "Heheh, I like him, he's funny. Heheheheheh, maybe that's why Orochimaru wants his sorry ass."
Two of the other three turned and glared at her. "He's only funny 'cuz you've both got the same fucked-up sense of humor. Now can we please get on with this?"
"Whaaat, you missing your late-night pedicure?" I looked at my wrist. Wasn't wearing a watch, but I wanted to be a dick. "Oh, wouldja look at the time? Yeah, please do get on with it, I'm getting old over here."
I shifted into my stance, hand on my sword when I felt the slightest twinge in my neck-
Followed by a sting.
"Gah! What the f-" I grabbed my neck, slapping whatever'd stung me. Agh, bloody perfect time for a mos-
It, it was a dart. My eyes snapped right over to the spot where it must've come from.
Sitting there holding a blowgun, was Kabuto. "Well, my work's done." And the clone vanished. A shadow clone? Bloody fuck.
I could already feel my body slowing down.
Jashin damnit!
Turning my murderous glare back on the four stooges, I surged my chakra, forcing my eyes to stay open. "Well... Not my lucky day. C'mon, assholes. I'll show you why they call me the Red Death." And I shunshiend, already swinging my blade, a dozen shadow clones appearing around my enemy, moving in for the kill.
~~Badadumdunbum~~
Kin was hidden amongst the nearby trees, having been searching for Sasuke. Instead, she found him engaged in combat with the Sound Four, and what's worse-
He was losing.
'But how? I've seen him fight before; his level of strength is well above theirs, even together. He's moving so slowly, looking exhausted. But why?'
Kin knew she couldn't move at this point, otherwise she'd be found. For some reason... She didn't want to go back. In the time she had spent here in the Leaf, she was happy. Sasuke was kind, if a bit snarky. Whenever she needed to talk to someone, he would sit there and listen, throwing out his unfiltered opinions and giving advice.
If she had to guess, he didn't enjoy admitting that he was nice, and had the self-image of someone cold and callous. He would play off anything nice he did, saying he just felt like it. Such a strange person, for a ninja.
But she didn't have time to think on such things. All Kin could do, was plan what she would do once the fight was over, and those four were gone. They weren't trying to kill him, just incapacitate.
But why?
It took another thirty minutes before he finally slipped up again, getting caught in Kidomaru's web. An instant later, Jirobo had whallopped him over the head, and Kidomaru wrapped him up the rest of the way. Then they all took off, running out of the village as fast as possible.
Kin let out a breath she hadn't noticed she was holding and took off, running faster than she'd ever run before.
She got to the Hokage Tower quick as a blink, bursting into the Hokage's office.
"Hokage-sama!" Tsunade looked up, giving a start. Kin rushed over, panting, trying to explain. "S-sasuke's been abducted!"
"WHAT?!" Tsunade shouted, standing up, complete shock in her expression.
"The Sound Four found him. I don't know who they were able to beat him but they did! They just ran out of the village with him tied up!"
Tsunade floped down in her chair, glowering, trying to come up with a plan.
Most all of the Jounin and competant Chuunin were out of the village; she'd even just sent out those two new shinobi from Kiri on a few C-ranks, and they wouldn't be back for days.
"Damn!" She had only one Anbu remaining at the moment, and he was required to remain in the village at all times. "Anbu!" In an instant, her personal guard and Anbu commander appeared by her side.
"Yes, Hokage-sama?"
"Go and fetch Shikamaru Nara, tell him to get his lazy ass here IMMEDIATELY."
He nodded, and vanished.
Tsunade only hoped she had enough forces remaining to send out a rescue party strong enough to deal with an enemy capable of taking out Sasuke. She was well aware of the boy's strength, and a squad of four that could take him down alive had to be at minimum high-Chuunin, but more than likely Jounin.
Even low-ranking Jounin were a serious threat if one wasn't prepared.
Shikamaru walked in some ten minutes later, dressed in full combat gear, looking haggard. "You called for me, Hokage-sama?"
"Yes. It seems Sasuke has been kidnapped by a group of four of Orochimaru's henchmen. They are all at least high-Chuunin in terms of ability. I simply don't have the resources to send out a proper rescue party of Jounin at the moment; therefore, your mission is to lead one. I want you to round up a competant team of whichever Genin you see fit, and go get back our Uchiha."
Shikamaru was floored. He was woken up by an Anbu banging on his window, telling him to get to the Hokage's office immediately. Now he's being told that a squad of high ranking ninjas that were able to take down Sasuke had run off with him, and HE was supposed to go get him back with a handfull of Genin?!
"...Hokage-sama, while I can't refuse an order, I would just like to point out that-"
"Save it. Scold me about how this is a suicide mission after you get back. Now go. OH, and before you leave, there's someone I want you to take with you."
~~Badadumdunbum~~
I woke up to the sound of someone banging on my door, and I blinked away the sleep in my eyes.
"Ugh... Better not be Kakashi-sensei." I carefully maneuvered out of bed, leaving Hina-chan to sleep in while I pulled on my boxers and welt to grumble at whoever woke me up.
Pulling the door open, Shikamaru and Choji were standing on my doorstep, looking solemn. "Shikamaru? Choji? Uh, what's going on?"
"No time to explain. Get dressed and ready for an A-rank mission, Sasuke's been kidnapped."
"WHAT?!"
"Shut up! Just go and get ready, meet us at the gate!" And they both turned and ran off, to Kami-knows-where.
WHILE SASUKE HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!
I ran through my apartment like a tornado, grabbing this and that, my sword and bag, gear and clothes, everything I needed.
Hinata-chan woke up at some point, drowsily walking into the living room, rubbing her eyes. "Naruto-kun...? What's wrong?" She was a heavy sleeper, but I guess my shout got even her up.
"Sasuke's been kidnapped! Shika is leading a mission to get him back. I'm sorry Hina-chan, but I'll be back as soon as I can." I was already at the door, just when her arms wrapped around me with surprising strength.
"Naruto-kun!"
"Y-yes?" Her breasts were- Th-they were, ah...
"Come back to me. And bring Sasuke with you... Just don't you dare get yourself hurt."
I couldn't help smiling as I turned and kissed my lovely Hina-chan, saying, "I'll be back, no matter what, dattebayo."
She smiled that sad smile of hers as I ran out the door, intent on bringing my friend home.
At the gate, I found Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba, Neji and Rock Lee all waiting.
"Huh? You guys are coming, too?"
Nods all around, as both Neji and Lee shared a look.
"Sasuke, made me see myself for who I was, and has since helped me in a way that I hadn't even noticed until recently." Neji sounded, different, somehow. Slightly reverant, even. Huh. I remember Sasuke chewed him out big time, and made the stuck-up guy question his own beliefs. I guess after our match, he- Figured out what Sasuke was trying to show him. But I dunno what he means by that last statement.
Rock Lee smiled, saying, "I spoke with Guy-sensei and heard what really happened during the preliminaries. I cannot stand by and allow Sasuke to be hurt when he risked himself to do the same for me." Huh? I thought everyone who was there knew what happened. Heh, guess Sasuke was being modest again.
I grinned, seeing all these random people gathered up to help a friend. "Right! let's go bring back Sasuke!" They stared at me. "What?"
"Yeah... Let's make a plan before we all go running off into the dragon's mouth, Naruto."
Pfffft, as if a PLAN ever helped ninjas before they even knew what they were fighting.
Shikamaru announced his basic strategy, and we were off in a single-file line, leaping through the trees. This forest is massive! How the hell do people get around in this country, anyway?!
~~Badadumdunbum~~
I! AM! BACK! BITCHES!
Yes, I am planning to move further into Shippunden. I'll not say anything more on the subject.
Yes, this is the Sasuke Retrieval arc. Obligatory, really.
What happens during the time-skip is a secret, for me to know and you to lose sleep over. Heheheh.