This chapter is a little quiet but I guess after the last one some downtime is good.

Thanks for all your awesome comments on the last chapter. They were really encouraging

Chapter 38: Normalcy

Jude shivered in the cool afternoon air as light sheets of drizzle made their way through the lives of the tree she was sheltering under and dampened her clothes. She figured she must look quite the freak, casually standing under a tree ten or so feet from Justin's graveside funeral service in her long black trench coat, dark glasses and big floppy hat. She just hoped no one recognized her as explaining away her 'just so happened to be here' presence could be complicated.

She pushed her hands deeper into her pockets and leaned back against the tree trunk. The funeral party was pitifully small and it made her feel all the guiltier. There was a middle aged couple she felt certain were Justin's foster parents. Their expressions of guilt and forced but detached emotional pain made that pretty clear. There were also a few young children looking bored as they fidgeted and tried to subtly inch closer to the pile of dirt by the grave. The handful of truly sad mourners were a few teens Jude's own age; a couple of girls who dabbed at their eyes and hugged each other regularly and some jocks who were struggling against showing any sign of emotion.

The priest raised his hand over the partially lowered coffin and sprinkled some dirt on top and one by one the party followed suit, each pausing by the grave, occasionally murmuring a few words inaudible to anyone but themselves and perhaps their intended recipient in the coffin. Over the next ten minutes they departed in their various groups. Not one glanced in Jude's direction.

She was kicking at a weed beneath her feet when the groundskeepers turned up with their shovels to complete the burial. One glanced up at Jude and for the first time since she'd stepped under the tree she wasn't invisible.

"You here for him?" the elder asked in a gruff voice.

She glanced about her uncomfortably, "Um, well…"

He was obviously used to the anonymous presence at a funeral and nodded understandingly. He dug his shovel into the ground by the grave and left it standing there as motioned to his co-worker. "We'll give you a few minutes," he said before walking away.

She stared at the grave for a few long seconds before stepping out from the shelter of the tree and walking over. She shuddered as she gazed down at the coffin six feet beneath the earth's surface and slowly sunk down until she was crouching by the hole.

She wasn't one for speaking to a body when the Spirit that had made it a person was gone but still the words tumbled out, more for her own benefit then his.

"I'm sorry… for my mistakes and bitterness," she whispered, "I'm sorry I put all the blame on you and didn't take responsibility for my own drunken consent. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance," she paused, feeling warmth washing over her as the sun slowly crept out from behind a cloud. "I'll look after her, I'll love her and maybe someday I'll tell her about you."

She stood up, grateful for the feeling of closure she'd finally achieved. She shaded her eyes with her hands and gazed across the water soaked graveyard to the idling viper some distance away, waving her hand slightly as she began to walk to it.

---

Jude ran a hand through her hair as she gazed through the glass wall of the recording booth and out into the lobby. It was a week or so since Justin's funeral and behind her Tommy was changing the microphone, muttering to him self as the cords got tangled and nearly tripped him.

"You winning the battle there?" she asked with a wry smile as she glanced back at him.

"One way or another," he flashed a smile as he finished untangling the wires and adjusted the microphones height. "What are you staring at?" he asked as he watched her staring out the window.

"I'm watching myself being watched," she replied as she subtly pointed to a distant desk where one of Tommy's many wish-to-be groupie interns was watching them like a hawk as she pretended to type up a document. Since that kiss she and Tommy had shared in the lobby, the one that was supposed to convince their co-workers that they were a happy couple, she'd been getting a lot of negative vibes and curiosity from her female co-workers. "If she wants another show that's just too bad," she remarked dismissively.

"What kind of show?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She blushed as she met his eyes and noticed the suggestive twinkle there. She shrugged, "I dunno," she mumbled as she looked away.

"I like shows," he remarked.

She rolled her eyes at him, "Most everyone on the planet knows that you like shows."

He closed the distance between them so that he was partially standing between her and the window but still allowing her enough room to see the intern's eyes on them. She glanced up at him briefly and he noticed her eyes drop to his lips as she unconsciously licked her own. He smiled confidently, "Go ahead. Do it," He said softly, "You know you want to and it will only help our reputation."

Her eyes shot up to his, "Huh?"

He shook his head slightly, "You know what I'm talking about."

She shook her head, blushing slightly, "I have no idea what you're babbling about."

She turned to leave but he quickly reached for her, his arms encircling her waist as he spun her around to face him and pulled her closer. He crashed his lips into hers, a hand sliding up to cup the back of her head. She didn't push him away and instead melted into the kiss, an arm wrapping around his neck as she pulled his head toward hers.

He detached his lips from hers momentarily to quickly inhale some precious air before tilting his head and kissing her again.

He wondered, as he had many times before, if it really was all for show. She was enjoying the kiss and her actions prior had shown she wanted it; that wasn't an act. But she wouldn't be kissing him if they weren't still trying to convince their prying and doubtful coworkers and the very world that they were in love. She wouldn't be kissing him if they were alone in a locked room where people couldn't see.

Their kiss was a physical act that took place for a reason; for an audience. Just because they both enjoyed it didn't mean it belied any hidden emotion or affection.

A kiss is a kiss. Isn't it?

---

Jude brushed a coating of popcorn off a bench and gingerly sat down as she waited for Sadie to return. The two had decided to have a girl's night out when Kwest and Tommy had disappeared from G-Major together earlier that afternoon. She ignored the curious and judgmental glances she was getting from passerby's but unconsciously placed a hand on her stomach protectively. Sadie was making her way through the crowd and she smiled as she help up the jumbo sized tub of popcorn.

"I think we're set," she remarked happily as she sat down next to Jude, "Cheesy romantic comedy, ridiculous amounts of popcorn and just the two of us."

"No icky boys huh?" Jude remarked, crinkling her nose playfully.

"Ooh, remember Johnny Patterson?" Sadie asked, her eyes lighting up, "he had that frizzy red hair and those glasses that were always so grubby you could barely see his eyes and he always had something in his teeth. When did you know him? Wasn't it like the third grade or something?"

"Second," Jude remarked, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"I remember you had such a crush on him," Sadie remarked in a teasing voice. She nudged Jude playfully.

"I did not," she could feel herself blushing and hated it, "I just thought he was really nice..."

"Right, nice," Sadie smirked, "But your taste in guys – at least in the shallow department like looks and charm – has definitely improved in recent years."

Jude could feel her blush deepening and she inhaled deeply in an attempt to return her blood pressure to normal. "What taste, what guy?" she demanded, "I'm not in elementary school anymore. I don't have any crushes."

"Yeah, right," Sadie laughed, throwing her head back, her blond hair flowing around her head in a blinding sea of gold. Jude noted with her normal twinge of envy as every male head in the vicinity turned and gazed her way admiringly.

"I don't," Jude mumbled as she took the tub of popcorn from Sadie and stood to her feet. She swung her purse over her shoulder and started making her way through the crowd toward their theatre as her sister followed.

"Right, cause a girl can just live with a guy like Tommy Quincy and make out with him on a regular basis," at Jude's wide eyed response she nodded, "Yes, I did see that one and if I hadn't I've heard it described around the office enough today but as I was saying. You can't just hang out with Little Tommy Q and not get a crush. It's unnatural."

"Then I'm unnatural." Jude handed over their tickets, smiling sweetly at the pimple faced young teen then stepped into the darkened theatre, "Tommy and I are very good friends but anything more is just too complicated. So tease all you like but I'm not biting."

She resented the little sing song voice in the back of her mind that was somehow echoing her sister's suggestions without words but still speaking volumes; a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was just the hormones speaking… it was that kiss they'd spent earlier that day… it was ridiculous and she wasn't going to pay it any mind.

"Denial is a flimsy defense sister," Sadie informed as they sat down in their seats, "and you forget I can see through you like a sheet of glass."

The lights dimmed and the screen came to life but Jude's comment still would have been whispered in the darkness, "You're crazy."

---

"So she really called huh?" Kwest's eyebrows rose as he swished the glass in his hand in a circular motion, causing the ice cubes to rattle and climb the sides. "Man, how long has it been?"

"Long enough," Tommy remarked. His forehead was creased in an angry frown as he gazed out the bar window to the people passing on the street. He closed his eyes for a second and in that time a couple that had been passing by the window disappeared from sight. He wished he could as easily and quickly blink away the memories and feelings that were resurfacing in his life. "I don't care what she has to say. It isn't worth getting into it all again."

"She's your mother T," Kwest remarked with a slight shake of your head, "You need to hear her out. It could be important."

"Yeah, like how?"

"Like she could be dying."

Tommy lowered his eyes to the table top as his stomach churned with guilt. He reached out and snatched up a napkin and crushed it in his hands, squeezing his fist tightly until it was reduced to a small ball. "It was going to happen sooner or later."

"You're not that cold," Kwest argued, his eyes fixed on Tommy resolutely, "It's not you."

"She told me she never wanted to see me again," Tommy argued. He could feel a sting in the back of his eyes as an invisible choking fist wrapped around his throat and he hated how vulnerable he felt.

"No, he said that."

Tommy shook his head angrily, hurling the napkin down onto the floor as he looked away and spoke slowly and deliberately; "Don't talk to me about him."

"There's my point right there," Kwest sat back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest, "She's not the problem."

---

Sadie had her arm wrapped around Jude's shoulder as the two of them giggled and sung songs, lost in their sisterly world as they walked up to the front of Jude's apartment building.

"Hey isn't that-?" Sadie motioned over her shoulder to two approaching forms and Jude squinted in the darkness to make out Tommy and Kwest approaching. Tommy had his hands in his pocket, his head hung and his shoulders drooping dejectedly. Kwest looked every part the concerned friend.

"Hey guys, over here!" Sadie called as she waved them over.

Kwest smiled broadly as he walked over and wrapped an arm around her in a sideways hug, then quickly as if the idea had just occurred to him and he instantly ran with it he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers in a brief but passionate kiss.

Sadie smiled dreamily as he pulled away, "Hmm, you've been drinking," she remarked recognizing the taste of the alcohol on his lips, "but I guess I'm all for a little liquid courage every now and then."

"Hey, I'm courageous sober or not," Kwest remarked with a grin.

Jude smiled as she watched the two of them flirting then turned her attention to Tommy who was leaning against the wall of the building. "You okay?" She asked as she idled over to him.

He leaned his head back against the wall and looked up at the sky above them, "fine."

She chewed on her lip but didn't persist. Behind them Sadie called out that she and Kwest were leaving. Jude smiled as she waved good-bye then turned back to Tommy. She held out her hand to him and slowly he accepted it, "come on," overly dramatically she pretended to pull him up then held open the apartment door for him.

"I'm the one who's supposed to open the door," he remarked quietly, "I'm the gentleman. I'm not my father."

The smile that had been bravely staying on Jude's face died on her lips and she frowned, "I never said you were."

He walked on ahead, punching a button for the elevator and she paused a few feet behind him, blinking down at the marble floor of the foyer until the bell signaled the elevators arrival. Before she entered she glanced behind her and through the glass walls that made up the front wall of the room. In the distance she could see Kwest and Sadie rounding a corner together, his arm around her waist and the two smiling at each other happily. She turned back to Tommy who was glowering at the floor as he leaned against the handrail at the back of the elevator. She stepped inside with him and the elevator doors closed in a frenzied blur.

Teasers for Chapter 39

"Great, just great," he muttered as he brushed past her and out of the kitchen.

"What's with you?" she demanded as she followed him into the lounge. "You're like the freakin' Grinch today!"

---

"What is his biggest fear?" The reporter asked.

She glanced at Tommy briefly, noticing the way he looked away uncomfortably, "Sometimes I think I know and then the rest of the time I realize I have absolutely no idea," she answered honestly.