A/N: So I recently wrote a story about Sirius called 'Departure' that focuses on his experience right after his death at the Ministry. If you like him in particular you should check it out (and yes, I am plugging my own fic. Lol). Thanks to Looz-x, Potterlover, and the other readers who have put this story on their favorites/alert list!

team.K.: I'm glad you really enjoy my story and it made you smile! And I like Dorcas a lot too, to be honest. Their seventh year will clear up a lot of the complicated relationships, ha ha.

Who's To Say?

Chapter 36

With the commencement of June, the students realized they only had three weeks to get all of their affairs in order before they were sent home on the Express for summer vacation. That fateful day was on Thursday the 20th and the seventh years of the school felt a growing sense of resistance and sad nostalgia now that their final month had arrived. NEWTs were set for the second week of June and after that daunting task was completed the eldest pupils of Hogwarts would leave their home of the past seven years. The weather, however, seemed to reflect the attitude of the younger years that would be returning to the school: bright and warm. Mary was dismayed to see that Abigail Holland was still keeping up her vexing habit of staying around Remus while Peter was glad to observe that Dorcas had fallen back some from Alex. Yes, the witch continued to speak to him and be friendly but much of the time not spent with her dorm mates was spent laughing with James and Sirius, which meant Peter could be with her too.

On the night of the last Slug Club meeting, a Wednesday, Slughorn appeared a bit forlorn.

"We will not see each other here again until October, and for some of you this is farewell for much longer! Ms. Britches, for example!" he exclaimed, gesturing to the Head Girl. Melody blushed lightly, the ice cream sundae the professor had provided in her hands.

"I hope you all have enjoyed this year in the Slug Club," the professor commented.

"We have, sir." Roger Walberry assured.

"Very good! I also hope you have exciting plans for the summer holiday!"

"Oh yes. We'll be in Italy!" Sirius answered, grinning.

"How marvelous!" Slughorn stated. Regulus gazed at his brother shrewdly as did Snape.

"You're going to Italy?" Lily murmured to James, smiling a little.

"Yeah. Birthday gift from my parents!" he replied quietly.

"That's brilliant!"

Some ten minutes later Slughorn's alarm sounded and it was the end of the meeting. He bid them many pleasantries as they left and told the seventh years to keep in contact with him once they became settled. When the four Gryffindors returned to their tower, Sirius called Remus and Peter over so he could tell his best friends something he had been contemplating for weeks.

"You all know the gold Alphard left me," he started, "Well, I'm going to use it so I can get my own place." They gawked at him.

"Your own place?" repeated Remus.

"Yeah. I'm 17 now and I haven't got my family to rely on. We've only got a year left here at school and it'll be good to have somewhere to go when I'm out, somewhere that's mine."

"That's what you've got us for!" James notified.

"I know, Prongs. You and Mum and Dad have been great to me, for years now. But I reckon it's time for me to get out on my own." Sirius relayed.

"When are you going to start looking for homes?" Peter asked.

"Throughout summer, but I won't move 'til the end of it. I know James'll go mental if I move out right when we get back so I'll give the poor lad his time."

"Oh yes, I'll just lost it, I will!" the Potter boy responded, shoving Sirius' shoulder.

"It will be a good thing, Padfoot. I'm glad." Remus smiled.

"Yeah, the Marauders' hideout!" added Peter, grinning.

"Be warned, Pettigrew: I'll have security. For Death Eaters and scavengers like you!" the Black boy remarked.

Peter's birthday was the 15th of June and his friends had a difficult time deciding what to do to ring it in. Hogsmeade was out of the question and they briefly considered risking an afternoon swim in the lake (which was against school rules), but in the end he got an elf made cake like all the others and had a late night joking in their room. Peter also had a rowdy visit with Hagrid and received his watch from his mother and enjoyable gifts from his friends, so the day was not a lost cause.

Her name was Cathy Detz and Lily thought she was quite inappropriate. The Evans girl had always known of her, conversely, with the witch being a fifth year Hufflepuff, but she had become much more noticeable towards the end of May. (This was around the time she had begun conversations with James, consequently).

Lily did not understand the other girl's intentions. Detz had waited for an inopportune point in the year to speak to James about whatever her concerns were; Hogwarts would let out before they knew it. Not only that, but he had only ended his relationship with Michelle Parks in April. People would think Detz had a crush on him or something, which clearly could not be the case! James never seemed to turn the girl away when she approached him, either, so Lily thought he was not helping the situation.

The Hufflepuff had horrible timing and was oblivious to the fact that the term was over soon and James had recently broken up, and the red head thought someone should tell her this. The Potter boy did not have time for whatever she wanted of him and Lily thought the Detz girl was inappropriate for not realizing. In fact, Detz's poor consideration notably perturbed the Evans girl and made her like the other witch less with each passing day.

Lily was very eager to know if her friends also noticed how silly Detz was acting and decided to broach the subject one day at lunch. She had been walking into the Great Hall with Dorcas, Mary, and Alice when they bypassed James talking to a smiling Cathy, the pair leaning against a wall. The gall of the witch pushed the red head to open her mouth.

"What's going on with Cathy Detz?" she posited once they were seated. Alice had parted with them to sit with Frank and Marlene was with her boyfriend as well.

"What d'you mean?" Mary replied.

"You haven't noticed she's been around James lately?"

"I have. And she has." Dorcas mentioned bluntly.

"So you've noticed too!" Lily said, turning avidly to the half blood.

"Yeah."

"I just don't… understand why."

"Maybe she likes him." Mary shrugged. Lily peered at her but Dorcas snorted in disgust.

"That'd be stupid. He just got out of a barmy relationship in April! What's she playing at?" the Meadowes girl remarked.

"I know! And the term is over very soon— what does she expect? To know him over the summer?" the prefect supplemented, glad to know someone was on her side about this matter.

"Oy, I do not want to start this again!"

Mary studied both girls for a moment before pondering:

"Is it a bad thing? I mean, since neither of you fancy him, what's the big deal?"

Lily wanted to say it was simply because this Hufflepuff was being inconsiderate of James' predicament but… what did that even mean? Thinking this was a feeble answer, she did not reply yet felt irritation at Mary's question as she snatched a fork.

Lily's next decision was to go to a Marauder about the persisting Detz problem. This happened on her last night of rounds with Remus and both teenagers had abandoned their school robes due to the inviting warmth of the season, leaving them in their uniform clothing. He had his sleeves rolled up to reach his elbows.

"Do you know much about Cathy Detz? I know she and Abigail are in the same House…" she commenced.

"Er, not really. I know she's nice," he responded.

"All Hufflepuffs are nice."

Remus laughed and then commented:

"She has been talking to James these past weeks."

"Yes, I've noticed. I wonder why." Lily said.

"She reckons he's a fun bloke to talk to," the Lupin boy half smiled. Well of course he was! Lily knew that.

"Mary suggested Detz… fancies him." Lily stated, trying to not make a face.

"Could very well be! Loads of girls like Prongs."

This statement bothered her for some reason.

"But he and Parks broke up not long ago! She should… respect that."

"Yeah. I don't think he's ready to get into another relationship, though, if that's what she's after," Remus vocalized. Exactly, Detz!, Lily thought, "But flirting never hurt anyone!"

"Nope," she affirmed, smiling forcefully. Well, maybe Remus did not see the total inappropriateness of the situation and Cathy Detz herself. Could only Lily see?

Sirius, concerned with his own growing development with Jeena Armstrong, surely noticed James and one Hufflepuff witch. The best friends spoke about it the same night Remus was patrolling the castle with Lily when they were, surprisingly, alone in their room. Frank was with Alice and Peter was down in the common room because that is where Dorcas was.

"Catherine Detz, eh?," Sirius began, smirking, "Is she your new hobby?" James laughed once from his position sitting on the window sill.

"Actually, I think I'm hers," he said, grinning some.

"She's cute."

"All girls I talk to are."

"Didn't know you would recover so quickly from Michelle! Looking to replace her?" Sirius uttered.

"Oh Godric, no! No," James answered, shaking his head, "Not even thinking about it. But I'm not going to deny a friendly, good looking girl the pleasure of speaking to me if that's what she wants!"

"You charming man, you!"

"Takes one to know one, my friend."

"So will this continue into seventh year?" the Black boy posited. The captain shrugged as he stretched his arms.

"Who knows. Maybe. Time will tell; I'm merely taking each day as it comes." James noted.

"As you should," the other pureblood smiled, "Look, I've been thinking about something."

"What?"

"Wormtail, and his problem."

"What problem?" smiled James.

"His problem with girls! Prongs, he's 17 and never been kissed— what the hell? He needs help." Sirius mentioned animatedly. The Potter boy chuckled.

"Well he fancies Dorcas!"

"Yes, and that's wicked, but he's not doing anything about it! So, I reckon we have to help him. Again."

"How, exactly?," the captain wondered, "Push him onto Dorcas' face?" This time Sirius laughed.

"Maybe not Meadowes but some girl. We should make it our mission this summer to get that bloke kissed, Muggle or witch! Let us not discriminate but strive to aid our friend! What say you? Doth ye accept the quest?!" he relayed. James was watching Sirius with his hands on his knees, highly amused.

"You're right, Padfoot. Peter does need our help! He's 17 for Merlin's sake! So, yes! This mission is a go!" the Chaser exclaimed.

"Excellent! We should name it."

"Right."

"What about… operation rat tail?" Sirius proposed.

"Hmm. Too obvious it's about him, I reckon. Operation…" James remarked.

"GOMS! Get our mate snogged!"

"That's perfect!" the Potter boy chortled.

"It's settled, then. Once we're out of school in a few days, Operation GOMS goes into effect!" Sirius smiled mischievously.

Everything for the term was done. All homework and essays had been turned in, all projects and exams completed, and the seventh years made it through their NEWTs without dying. It was Tuesday the 18th and the Hogwarts Express would arrive to the Hogsmeade station in two days time to take students home. The End of the Year Feast had occurred earlier that evening and the House Cup had been awarded to an extremely ecstatic table of Hufflepuffs as yellow and black decorations erupted in the Great Hall; Gryffindor, satisfied with its Quidditch Cup, was happy for the badgers. The feast had not been all smiles, however, as the headmaster reminded them of the dangers of Voldemort and his followers and how important unity and safety were.

"I wish to have every single one of you return in September," he bid.

As it was now, Lily sat by herself on a sofa staring moodily into the bare fireplace, legs crossed with no shoes on. The common room was almost vacant due to the late hour and the fact that all of the food consumed at the feast had made the kids full and sleepy, but there were a few risk takers still out and about in the castle. James was one of these few and he was presumably with Cathy Detz— Cathy bloody Detz. Lily had seen the witch approach James after dinner ended, beaming from the acquisition of the Cup, and the two had left the hall together laughing at something. And what was more, the red head was quite certain he had not been back to the tower since then; that had been hours ago! Their mutual friends had been so wrapped up in their own affairs that night they had not appeared to notice or care but she definitely did.

After everyone had gone to their dormitories or to see other students, and after she had pointedly informed Paul Tanlind that nothing romantic would ever form between them, she took up residence on the couch. Lily had yet to move, being consumed by her numerous, grumpy thoughts.

Paul, being pushy…, she ruminated, I do feel badly but I had to finally just say it! It's not going to happen! Not interested. But I am interested to know what on Earth James could be doing with Detz for this long. He doesn't even know her! Why doesn't she just leave him alone?! Doesn't she get it! And not only that, but why has James been in my dreams lately?! What the hell is going on with that? I've hardly ever dreamt about him before so why would my brain choose to start now?

Autumn, who had been keeping Lily company, suddenly began meowing. She looked around for her pet and saw the young cat jogging towards the opening portrait hole— someone was entering. The someone turned out to be James Potter, and he was whistling with his right hand in his pant pocket. He looked entirely at ease with his sleeves pushed up, tie undone, and carrying his school robes over his shoulder.

"Hey— Autumn!" he mentioned jovially, seeing her prance up to him.

Lily looked at him as her heart rate increased and her arms slowly started to unfold. Finally! He had returned.

"Ms. Evans!" James hailed as he spotted her on the couch, sounding happy. Conversely, the sound of him addressing her filled the girl with major annoyance for some reason and she peered deliberately back at the hearth as he strolled over to her.

"All right, Lily?" the Chaser asked when he had plopped down on the sofa as well. He had set his robes on the back of the couch and was peering at her with that lopsided grin of his, and this too made the red head feel anger. As a result, she did not reply and simply made a noise.

Autumn jumped on the sofa in between them as he tried again.

"What're you doing down here by yourself?" James inquired, petting the cat.

"Thinking." Lily curtly notified, arms crossed once more. He was much too comfortable in her opinion.

"Ah. And here I was thinking how kind you were to wait up for me!"

The Muggleborn scoffed overtly at his joke. She had not stayed up waiting for him! She had merely been bogged down by thoughts of... lots of things! Who cared if he had been the focus of many of those thoughts.

"No? I reckon I was wrong, then," he half smiled.

"Obviously," she mentioned bluntly. James gazed at her as his brow began to furrow in confusion.

"Are you okay, Lily?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Well, it seems like you're being short with me. And-" he said.

"And what? I'm not giving you the answers you want?" she finished, looking at him for the first time. The Potter boy simply stared at her, all the joy now completely gone from his countenance to be replaced by seriousness.

"Are you sure you're fine? Something seems wrong." James attested.

"Nothing's wrong!" Lily asserted.

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Like what? Not falling at your feet, smiling at every word that comes from your mouth? I'm sorry but I didn't know that was required!"

James' face was now showing anger and disbelief and Lily could plainly see it.

"So I walk into the common room, try to talk to you, and have my head ripped off for no reason but nothing's wrong. Yeah, makes total sense," he gruffly commented.

"Did you think I just don't feel like talking?" she snapped.

"Then you could've told me that from the go, and maybe with some respect!"

"Oh, Potter wants respect! What a surprise!"

The prefect had gotten to her feet at this last statement, not wanting to be that near to him any longer. His mouth dropped open and he gawked at her before heatedly jumping up himself.

"What is with you!" James demanded, throwing his arms out. She had just called him 'Potter'! That had not happened in months.

"I told you!—" Lily hotly commenced.

"Yeah, yeah— nothing's the matter! But yet you're still acting like an absolute hag!"

The witch's eyes instantly flashed and she balled her fists.

"I'm a hag?" she wondered in a dangerously quiet voice.

"No, you're acting like—" he hastened to say.

"How DARE you! You're resorting to name calling?! Geez! It's the old Potter, back in the flesh!"

"Yeah? Well he's joined by the old Lily— lashing out just to get her jollies!" James shouted, red in the face. The pair had not fought like this in a long time and it scared the Potter boy because he did not want to revert to their previous stance due to one conversation, especially when he did not know the true cause of it all. His last comment had been out of pure desperation.

The few remaining Gryffindors in the common room had now all stealthily left the area, retreating to their dormitories for safety when they realized that Lily Evans and James Potter were fighting. They knew from experience they did not want to be anywhere in the vicinity when the battle was underway.

"My jollies?" she posited.

"Yes! Acting like a cow just because you can, because you like ruining people's good time!" he retorted.

"Oh, so I'm a cow now!"

"Can you hear? I've been saying 'acting like'!"

"Ugh! I'm done! You've ruined my night, thank you!," Lily exploded, "And you want respect? Go back to bloody Detz for it 'cause I'm not giving you anything! You twit!"

Something suddenly hit the captain and all feelings evaporated.

"Cathy?..." he murmured, gazing at her.

"You haven't changed at all! Thinking everything you do is ruddy brilliant, insulting people, flirting with anything that has a nose! Why anyone even tolerates you, I'll never know!"

Lily had commenced walking stormily to the girls' staircase, appearing livid and continuing to rant as she put distance between them.

"Lily, wait!" the captain called.

"Piss off!"

She did not get far, however. James initially stared at her with a slightly open mouth as his brain went into cognitive overdrive at her words, but in the following seconds he jolted into action and rushed after her. He reached the red head in a few, long strides.

"Damn it, Evans!" he growled, grabbing her left arm.

James whirled Lily around to face him and, with his hold still on her upper arm, he threw an arm around her back before crashing his lips into hers.

It took Lily a moment to register what was happening: that James Potter was kissing her fiercely. Consequently, once the situation was fully processed in her mind, the Muggleborn responded immediately. Standing on the tip of her toes and throwing both arms around his neck, Lily kissed him back with just as much gusto. This move of hers, the acceptance of his brash decision and participation in it, made James feel as he had never before. He was high on frenzied joy, shock, and power.

He was kissing Lily Evans and she was letting him.

The two stayed in that position for a stint of time with James' hands roving Lily's back and her arms wrapped around his neck, their mouths stubbornly connected. Conversely, things changed when he finally pulled away for a second to get some air, and when he went back in he gave her two, swift kisses before his tongue pushed its way into her mouth. The prefect moaned involuntarily as she felt his tongue sidle against hers and pleasure shot all through her body. Lily's noise was all the encouragement James needed and his hands sped down to securely grip her waist while she ensnared his neck even tighter as their kisses deepened, wanting him to be closer.

Not too long after this the captain quickly turned them around and started clumsily walking them back in the direction of the couch, lips still greedily attacking each other. Lily had to let him guide since she could not see behind her and was much too focused on how his hands groping the skin underneath her shirt was driving her wild. The pair stumbled a couple times but neither truly cared, and when they were in front of the sofa again James made to place her on it first but the witch had decided he had taken enough charge. This time she was the one to turn them around and she forced him to sit down first, which surprised the Potter boy a bit yet made him want her even more.

James' chest heaved as he watched Lily prepare to sit in his lap, and once she was there their intense kissing resumed, with her hands holding his face possessively and his running up and down her left thigh.

It was surreal and chalk full of emotion. Their tongues pushed against each other, hands roamed everywhere, and breathing was hitched. Lily was also able to freely play with his unruly hair and found that it was very soft, to her delight. At one point when James' lips were throbbing from so much activity, he tore them away from her mouth and began passionately placing small kisses on her neck.

"Merlin. What are you doing to me?" he asked in a gravelly voice, right at the base of her throat. His voice made her inhale as her eyes dazedly closed halfway. Lily thought she should be asking that question.

James then began sucking on her lower neck and the witch could not contain the sensual sigh that escaped her lips as she languidly stroked his hair. However, in the following moments, everything changed for Lily and it came in the form of a scent. It slowly wafted its way into her awareness at first but did not take long before it wholly engulfed her and began to reintroduce clarity to her mind.

It… it was coming from James. It was James— it was his distinctive aroma. The red head's brain then began to place it and she recalled first truly noticing it the night of his birthday catastrophe, when they had been close much of the night. But there was another time, a time even before then, when his smell had fully assaulted her senses, and, it was… was…

Lily felt her heart stop as she remembered.

…

"Lily, if you would be so kind as to describe what you perceive? I know it is quite personal…" Slughorn prompted. All sets of eyes fell on her and she had the urge to blush.

"Erm, o-okay," she uttered, unsure. Severus felt his heart pump faster, "I smell rain... warm bread... a-a garden, and… I, uh… I don't know. I don't know what the other smell is. But it's there…" She seemed perplexed.

"It will make itself known, I'm sure," the professor said kindly, "And now there are two minutes before we depart! Send your vials to my desk and have a smashing Valentine's Day!"

…

Oh dear God— her Amortentia, back in February. She had been able to identify all of the components except one. She had not known what it was and it mystified her! The missing scent, the one Lily could not name!...

She gaped at the oblivious boy sucking on her neck and was hit full on by the aroma again.

Oh. Dear. God.

It was James.

James was the missing scent.

Lily felt like she had been hit by a car as she started to panic. How could it be him? Why was it him? She put her hands on his shoulders and pried the two apart as she gawked at him in total befuddlement, only to see that James' eyes were the deepest brown she had ever seen them. This caused a chill to run down her spine.

"What? What's wrong?" he inquired, sounding like he had been running vigorously. He noticed the look on her face and studied it.

"I… I-I…" the prefect stuttered. What could she say? James was the scent! For all that was holy!

"Lily, what is it?"

"This… you—"

She untangled herself from him and pushed his hands down to the side, continuing to stare at him desperately. Worry and fear began to consume the Potter boy as he furrowed his brow and witnessed the change in her demeanor. He was losing her… did she regret what they had been doing?

"Lily, please." James commenced carefully, watching her stand right before him. He was now extremely tense.

"This can't, t-this was," Lily stammered, wringing her hands, "I… oh, hell! I can't James, I'm sorry!"

The Muggleborn then turned to the right and began running for the girls' staircase.

"Lily!" he shouted, jumping up and making to go after her.

His heart had just fallen to the floor after being so amazingly high, but his pursuit of the witch was short lived. James was not too far beyond the sofa when he stopped in his tracks, realizing he could not ascend the steps so what was the point? (And with how quickly Lily was moving he would not reach her before she reached the stairs). Instead, the captain watched her rush up the steps and not look back once, her feet housed in white socks, red hair whipping behind her, and cat trailing her path obediently. Once she was out of sight James clenched his teeth, balled his fists, and turned around to repeatedly kick the couch, snarling out curse words. She had actually recoiled, after minutes of physical bliss, and it just killed him.

Why. He needed to know why. Why had Lily given into his kisses so hungrily and then pulled away as though in horror? James needed answers and knew it would be a sleepless night.

Lily refused to leave her room the succeeding day and told her friends she was feeling "a bit under the weather" when they asked. They brought her back food from the various meals but did not spend too much time in her company because she was not very talkative and it was a beautiful day without classes, which meant roaming the grounds. The prefect was grateful for this, conversely, and stayed rooted on her bed, mindlessly watching Autumn attempt to seize Alice's Puffskein, Sasha. (The cat was terribly unsuccessful in her endeavor as Sasha was housed in a tank whenever her owner was not present).

Simply put, Lily could not risk seeing James. All she could think about was the previous night: how she had unfairly given him attitude upon his return, how he had unexpectedly kissed her and she eagerly responded, and how she had identified him as the missing part of her Amortentia.

Lily could not understand what had driven her to kiss James back or why he was associated with her perception of the love potion. She had always envisioned herself mercilessly hexing him if he ever tried to put his lips on hers, but that had been earlier in their history when she still thought he was an obnoxious idiot. However, their friendship was not a reasonable factor as to why she gave into it because she had other friends whom she liked that she did not wantonly kiss! Perhaps their argument had been so charged that Lily merely got caught in the moment and snogged him without thinking. That made some sense, but why had anger turned into kissing? There was the explanation that she had subconsciously wanted to make out with him but the question still remained why. Why would she want to kiss James?

Maybe you—

No, don't even go there, she harshly scolded.

All right… well, maybe a part of Lily found him physically attractive and that was the reason. If the Muggleborn was truthful with herself, she had never thought James as ugly or unappealing. He was tall, in shape due to Quidditch, had a pleasing, thin face, a nice smile (that was particularly lopsided), a tiny dimple in only his left cheek… numerous girls thought he was cute! So maybe Lily was one of them; that could explain her act of snogging him readily. So, if she assumed her first concern about making out with James could be attributed to teenage hormones and a purely physical attraction, which did make her feel a pinch relieved, what was the explanation for her second concern? This is what had caused her brain to reel, after all; what in the world was he doing in her Amortentia?

Lily could not fathom it and thinking about it for extended periods frightened her sufficiently. (Maybe her nose and brain were simply defective, which would be sad but logical). And, of course, there were the times during that day that the Evans girl would occasionally stop thinking so much and simply remember the preceding night. How good it felt kissing James… how mind boggling, how heady, how effortless. How her entire body felt like it was both on fire and jello-like at the same time, how sounds had come from her no one else had ever elicited. Lily was in something of a trance when she recalled these sensations but it always ended with her wondering how on Earth she could look him in the face again.

The Marauders' Map was like James' shadow that day and he was resolutely focused, blocking out the world happening around him. After a silent breakfast (at least for him) in which he noticed Lily was missing, he took up camp in the common room with two books, a set of wizarding cards, and the Map. His plan was to stay down there, watch the Map, and wait for the red head to appear while he intermittently kept himself busy with the reading materials and cards. He denied spending time with his roommates in the castle and on the grounds and, while they found his behavior oddly reclusive, they laughed it off and enjoyed the last day at school without him or much concern. He ate meals with them but that was it.

Simply put, James could not risk missing Lily. All he could think about was the previous night: how she had been snippy with him for no good reason when he came back, how they had argued as a result, and how he had blindly kissed her and she returned it.

James did not truly understand what had pushed him to kiss Lily in the first place or why she had pulled away so forcefully after a point. He had always envisioned and dreamt of the day he would be able to taste her lips, yet thought it would have to be quick and stolen, but that had been earlier in their history when she still saw him as a complete toerag. Conversely, never had James thought kissing Lily would come right in the wake of a scorching fight or that she would respond so willingly. Why had he done it? Perhaps seeing her storm away had been too much, especially since he did not know what he had done to piss her off to that degree. So his answer had been to snog her, although she had been angry and thus liable to attack him… that did not make much sense at all and had actually been presumptuous.

Lily had mentioned Cathy Detz while yelling at him, as well as his habit of habitually flirting (which James did not agree with). Why would the red head bring that up unless it bothered her, and why would it bother her unless she was, dare he think it… jealous? Maybe this possibility had given him the boost to kiss Lily— the chance that she was jealous of Cathy Detz. Maybe James snogging her was the way to show her she had nothing to be jealous of and she was the one he wanted, the one he had always wanted. And of course having her return every kiss for kiss, every caress for caress had been nothing short of bliss; one of his deepest wishes coming to fruition after so long! He still could not partially believe she had returned his affection… which caused him to fervently question why Lily had run away from him. Why on Earth had she halted everything, and so suddenly, with that look of terror on her face? Thinking about it was driving James insane but it consumed him because there were many reasons as to why, and he knew the more negative ones (the ones that involved her rejection) had the potential to crush his soul.

Of course, when the Potter boy stopped thinking so much about the situation and merely remembered what had happened, it was like being in a trance. The sensation of kissing Lily… how frighteningly terrific it felt, how he had never wanted it to end, how he could not fathom having anyone else after having her. James had placed all of his fragile hopes, dreams, and desires regarding Lily in the ultimate moment of being able to kiss her, and last night they had seemed so vehemently real. Four years… four years of harboring intense feelings for the girl, of being at the mercy of her smile, laugh, gaze, and voice, and he would not give up now.
During the period of the Marauders' rift earlier in the year, James had told her that he and Sirius had only been in one other major fight during their friendship. He had lied. The spat he mentioned to Lily happened in third year and was short lived; overnight, like he had said, and the captain truthfully did not recall the subject of it. The second fight, however, was during second term of their fourth year and was about Lily.

A/N: So! It finally happened, readers! Wa ha ha! Lily and James have crossed a line from which they cannot return and it (only) took 36 chapters!

I ended this chapter rather cliffy, I know, and the next one will begin with a flashback of James and Sirius' second major fight, which was about Lily. I will return in a fortnight!