Dr. Konikoff came out of her office several moments later. She was a tall woman with long dark hair and a gentle manner, and she gave Alex a smile when she saw her. "Hi, Alex. How are you doing today?"
"Okay," Alex said quietly, tightening her arms around Lily.
Dr. Konikoff looked at Olivia. "You must be Olivia," she said, and held out her hand. "It's nice to meet you."
Lily sat up. "Do you know who I am?"
Dr. Konikoff chuckled. "You must be the infamous Lily. It's nice to meet you, too. And who's this with you?"
"My doll," Lily explained. "Her name's Sara, like in A Little Princess. Mommy read that one to me."
Dr. Konikoff looked suitably impressed. "Lily, I'm going to talk to your mom for a bit. Can you wait out here with Diana?" She pointed to the receptionist at the front desk. "There are some toys you can play with, and I see you've brought a book."
"You'll be okay, baby," Olivia said quickly. "You can knock on the door if you need anything."
Lily shrugged. "Okay. And then we can go to the park?"
"Definitely."
She hugged Sara to her chest. "Can I have my Ritz, please?"
"Yes, you may have your Ritz crackers," Alex said.
"I may have my Ritzies." Lily giggled. "Thank you, Mommy."
"Do you want me to come in with you, Alex?" Olivia asked in an undertone.
Alex nodded and clutched Olivia's hand. "Please."
"In that case, follow me," Dr. Konikoff said with another smile.
Olivia wrapped an arm around Alex and helped her to her feet. They followed Dr. Konikoff into her office and sat down on the purple couch across from her chair. It was almost a cliché, but Olivia didn't mind. She kept her arm around Alex, who was still trembling, and gave her hand a squeeze. "It's okay, baby," she said quietly, stroking Alex's hand with the pad of her thumb. "I'm here. I love you."
Alex closed her eyes and leaned back against Olivia. She wasn't usually keen on public displays of affection, but she needed the comfort right now. "I love you, too." She hesitated. "Hold me?"
"Of course, baby." Olivia wrapped her other arm around Alex and hugged her tightly. "All you have to do is ask."
Dr. Konikoff was watching them with a soft smile, and she waited until they were settled in before she said, "So, Alex, how did your week go?"
Alex dropped her eyes and played with a thread on her shirt. She didn't answer, instead resting her head on Olivia's shoulder and curling further into the detective.
"Alex?" Dr. Konikoff prompted.
Alex shook her head and Olivia gently rubbed her arms. "Would you like me to tell Dr. Konikoff, baby, or do you want to tell her yourself?"
"I don't want to," Alex whispered.
"Sweetheart, she needs to know. I can tell her or you can, but Dr. Konikoff can't help you if you don't tell her what's going on."
Alex closed her eyes. "Please, Olivia . . ."
"Alex, it's very important for Dr. Konikoff to know what happened. Can you tell her or should I?"
Alex chewed on her lip. "I will," she finally whispered.
Olivia smiled weakly. "Thank you, baby." She kissed the crown of Alex's head.
Alex looked at Dr. Konikoff. "I hurt myself."
"What did you do, Alex?" asked Dr. Konikoff.
Alex started to shake again, and Olivia held her more tightly. "With one of Olivia's belts," she finally said. "I hurt myself. My back was bleeding."
"Why did you do that?"
Alex looked away. "I don't know. I was overwhelmed and I was looking for a way to express my pain."
Dr. Konikoff smiled slightly. "Very good. But can you explain to me how you felt?"
Alex leaned back against Olivia. "Insecure. Afraid."
"So can you think of a positive way to deal with those emotions?"
Alex nodded. "I can talk to Olivia," she recited. "I can remove myself from a stressful situation or squeeze a stress ball or take a shower or a walk. I can ask Olivia to hold me."
"Those are all very good ideas," Dr. Konikoff said.
"Alex, can you tell Dr. Konikoff what we did a couple days ago?" Olivia asked.
"Lily and you and I said nice things about each other," Alex said.
"And do you remember what we said about you?"
Alex smiled a bit. "Lily said I'm her role model and you said I'm selfless and brave. But –"
Olivia brought a finger to her lips. "No buts, Alex. Let's leave it at that."
Dr. Konikoff raised an eyebrow. "That sounds like a really good thing you did."
Alex nodded. "It was."
Olivia turned back to Alex. "Do you want to tell Dr. Konikoff what else you did to hurt yourself or should I?"
Alex shook her head. "I sewed myself shut," she whispered. "Between my legs."
Dr. Konikoff knitted her brow. "Why did you do that, Alex?"
Alex lowered her eyes. "So no one would be able to hurt me. I was afraid . . . But Olivia found me and made me go the hospital. They took out the stitches."
"You know you could have hurt yourself very, very badly. You're lucky that Olivia found you when she did."
Alex nodded. "I know." She turned to Olivia and said, so quietly that Olivia barely heard, "Thank you."
"Don't thank me, baby. I love you, and I'll do whatever it takes to help you. No thanks needed."
"I'm sorry I told you that you were like my master. You're nothing like him, Liv. Not at all. I didn't mean it. I was just upset."
"I know, sweetheart. Don't worry."
"Alex, what did you say to Olivia?" Dr. Konikoff asked, clearly not following the conversation.
Alex started to cry. She brushed futilely at her tears, and Olivia kissed her forehead. "It's okay to cry, Alex," she said quietly. "I've got you."
Alex nodded and took a deep, calming breath. "She told me I had to go to the hospital. I didn't want to. And I said – I said she was just like my master." She lifted her tearstained face to meet Olivia's. "I'm so sorry, Liv!"
"I know, Alex. I know you didn't mean it."
Dr. Konikoff looked at Olivia. "You probably saved her life, getting her to the hospital when you did."
Olivia held Alex close. "I couldn't lose her," she said softly. "Never again. I will never lose you again."
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