Bleed for me - Part Thirty Eight
I'm not sure whether I'm able to write the following days, but I'll continue as soon as possible. Enjoy today's chapter and have a great weekend!
After Regina showered and dressed, she slowly descended the stairs. She took little steps, holding onto the railing and testing with each step to make sure she had solid ground. She felt nauseous and lightheaded, terrified beyond description ever since she'd exit the bathroom just minutes ago.
She had been expecting to see Emma waiting for her on the bed, but was shocked to find it empty. Her whole body had reacted in a way she couldn't handle, as panic and anxiety overwhelmed every thought in her head. Within seconds, her entire world quiet literally turned upside down. She'd sunk onto the bed, overcome by the force of her emotions, staring numbly around.
For a moment she was sure the blonde finally ran away from her, that she'd changed her mind. That she regretted what had happened between them, the one thing she feared the most. She broke into deep and convulsive sobs, feeling a strange numbness stealing up her legs and into her arms and body.
She knew she had to get her feelings under control, terrified that her fragile heart would shatter. But the mere thought of losing Emma again, after the time they spent together, after connecting in every single possible way, was enough to drive her insane.
But a tiny flicker of hope had flared within her when she noticed a whiff of something she had never smelled before. Not in her house, anyway. A sweet scent of breakfast that brought her off balance, then it made her gasp.
Emma? Is that you? You didn't leave?
A quiet humming sound brought her back to reality as she moved slowly down the hall toward the kitchen. She inhaled a deep breath and tried to regain her earlier peaceful feeling, but her stomach clenched painfully and she reached out to lean against the wall.
What's wrong with me?
Her feet wobbled as she tried to steady herself, a wave of panic coursing through her body. A sense of helplessness was becoming so real and overpowering, that she wanted to cry out for help. If only she weren't too proud to ask for help. She never asked for these things, they were beneath her.
But she realized there was one person who always helped her without ever being asked. And she silently begged to find that same woman in her kitchen, to ease her pain, both physical and emotional.
She willed her magic to strengthen herself, but it resisted her, feeling a knot forming in the pit of her stomach. She gritted her teeth when it was followed by a buzzling feeling, like some kind of vibration. She froze, her breath refusing to leave her lungs.
She didn't move for several long seconds, slowly releasing the breath she'd been holding. Her hands were shaking and her head spun, as she fought the building urge to throw up. Her eyes misting with tears when she tried to move, and she held her breath against the pain swirling though her as she stood.
It took every bit of willpower she could muster, but she somehow managed to make it to the kitchen. She came to a halt in the doorway when she found Emma, wrapped in one of her old bathrobes, standing over the stove cooking. Although her body felt frozen, her heart instantly warmed at the sight of the blonde.
She leaned against the doorframe and felt the sensation of pure and overwhelming relief throughout her chest. For a moment she just stared, unblinking, barely breathing. Her mere presence took her breath away and ignited her inner strength, a smile tugging at her lips. She knew the kitchen wasn't one of the blonde's favorite places to be, and she didn't like to cook. And yet, she moved around with a smile on her face as if she belonged there.
She sighed and struggled to deal with her emotions. It seemed so right to have this woman in her house, so natural to have her know her personal, intimate space. As a matter of fact, just having the blonde around felt totally right to her.
Her heart skipped a beat when Emma caught sight of her. Her whole face lit up when she spotted the brunette leaning against the doorframe, her sparkling eyes boring deeply into Regina's.
"Hey!" she exclaimed happily, beaming.
Regina wanted to cry at the way she looked at her, her eyes twinkling with affection, smiling the most beautiful smile.
"Hi.." she croaked, unable to keep her chills at bay.
Emma's face fell when she noticed Regina's expression and stilled her movements. She frowned and observed the brunette closely, "Regina? What's wrong?"
The brunette's eyes followed her as she walked towards Regina, still leaning against the frame, studying her face as if preparing for something. She stopped in front of the brunette and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, her brows furrowed in concern.
Regina gasped at the blonde's sudden proximity and her senses exploded. All she could do was stand there, gazing at her, desperately wanting her to move closer but also petrified that she would. She kept staring into her emerald eyes that were studying her intently, her heart hammering in her chest.
"Are you okay?" the blonde whispered again.
They stared at each other in silence and Regina knew she had to tell Emma what was bothering her. But she couldn't, she didn't want to hurt her. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, feeling another wave of nausea flooding through her. She shook her head, not trusting her voice to work properly.
Emma tilted her head a little sideways, and her eyebrows went from concerned to puzzled and confused. Her hand slowly dropped from the brunette's cheek, her eyes widening in shock as realization suddenly dawned on her.
"You thought I left you…" she breathed slightly above a whisper, but it was more a statement than a question.
Regina sucked in a breath and for a moment, the blonde just stared at her. Her eyes flashing with a vulnerability that made her shiver, a glimmer of emotion she still didn't believe she deserved. Then tears filled her eyes and she looked as if she'd just been floored by the same gut punch that had left Regina feeling sick.
"Just like that? Without even saying goodbye?" she choked out incredulously, as she tried to fight her tears.
Regina shook her head, wanting to deny the evidence that was written in her eyes. "No I-"
"Yes, you did.." Emma instantly cut her off, her expression wounded. She moved a little closer, but didn't touch her, her eyes burning into the brunette's.
"God, Regina.. Seriously? What do I have to do to make you believe in me? I. Won't. Ever. Leave. You!"
Regina flinched from the intensity of the blonde's gaze, the fear and desperation so clearly visible, almost begging for the answer.
"Just tell me what to do!" she pleaded, moving even closer.
"Emma…" Regina gasped, gently grabbing the blonde's hand. She didn't miss the way Emma's breath hitched at her touch.
"You don't have to do anything. That's not what I meant at all, my dear. Because I do believe in you. It's just… hard for me to keep up with all the changes in my life. And one of the things that makes it most difficult is my tendency to assume the worst and begin to act on that basis rather than to face my fears.."
She swallowed around the lump in her throat and closed her eyes for a brief moment. "I'm just so afraid that I'm going to wake up one day, and this will have all been a dream.."
She opened her eyes again as she felt the blonde's breath on her face, just before their lips connected. The kiss was exquisitely tender, just the soft brush of Emma's lips against hers and her remarkable gentle fingers caressing her cheek.
"This is not a dream, Regina.." the blonde breathed against her lips, "because to me, this is more real than anything I've ever felt before.."
Regina met the blonde's gaze without blinking and she felt a slow shiver work its way down her spine. She pressed her lips against Emma's again and murmured, "I know.."
She finally allowed herself to believe that it was really happening, allowed herself to feel the blonde's tongue press between her lips, feel her mouth, hot and sensually demanding. A shudder of pleasure went through her as the kiss deepened.
She clutched her bathrobe, her body swaying, trembling. Their tongues stroking, teasing, dueling, as soft moans filled the air around them. They moved gently together, both their bodies melting beautifully, sensually.
A faint, almost imperceptible glow surrounded them, radiating off of them. Purple and white, mingling together, producing a bright and unique hue. Vibrating in a rhythm, the rhythm of two heartbeats coming together, until they beat in perfect harmony.
"Jesus.." Emma panted when they parted to breathe, "this is fucking real.."
Regina smirked and rolled her eyes at her choice of words. "You're quite right, dear. Because that… word.. doesn't exist in my mind.."
Emma grinned sheepishly and pressed a gently kiss to the tip of Regina's nose. She was about to come up with a teasing retort, when the brunette made a strangled sound and winched. She clutched her stomach and squeezed her eyes shut as hard as she could, doubling over in pain.
"Regina!"
TBC