"Jashin-putting the laughter in manslaughter."

-Anonymous

Disclaimer: Naruto is Kishomoto's toy. I'm just playing with it.

Warning: Language.

Dear Gaara,

Hanzō of the Salamander was the summoner before me. For a time, he was a noble man with a strong conviction. He believed that a strong conviction would have survived death of its owner, living on. Conviction to him, wasn't visible to the eyes, but could only be perceived through a fight. For a time, he fought for peace.

As he grew older though, he became paranoid and lost his conviction, ultimately leading to his demise.

Despite this, I greatly admire him.

Ibuse misses him.

Do you have someone you admire?

Falling asleep on Ibuse,

Sakura

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

When we caught up to the wooden clone—outside of Orochimaru's base—Yamato made me swallow one of his tracking seeds. Once that was done, Yamato then proceeded to the break into the hideout.

Yamato made a giant hole, leading to an underground tunnel he formed. I jumped in after him, Naruto following behind me.

After a while of crawling in the dark, Yamato reached the first wall of the underground base. He wasted no time in making a small, quiet hole—just large enough for us to fit through.

One by one, we crawled through. Then following behind Yamato quietly, we headed off to find Sai. Although, Yamato knew where he was from the tracking seed…

I had to admit I felt something like a secret agent doing all this running around in stealth mode.

Sasori drifted behind us, his face clearly stating he was bored. Maybe I should have asked him to sing some James Bond music while we doing this.

Past the third hallway, Yamato had us stop at a door. Carefully he opened it.

"Thought you would be here," Yamato said quietly, opening the door wide enough to slip in. Naruto and I followed in behind him.

Sai turned to face us, smiling.

"Nothing less expected from the Hokage's ANBU."

I tilted my head, searching for the packet. I found it on the bed, moving forward, I grabbed it. Sai watched me without making a movement.

Naruto moved forward, his eyes flashing dangerously as he grabbed Sai by the shirt. "Bastard, why the hell did you turn traitor on us?"

"You really shouldn't be so noisy, or things will get even more difficult."

Naruto looked ready to say more, but I cut him off with a sharp, "Naruto."

"Tch," Naruto muttered, releasing Sai roughly. I rummaged through my back pocket, producing Sai's drawing book. I handed it to him. Sai took it with a soft thank you.

"You're just following Danzō's orders," I murmured. "Am I right? The go between for Orochimaru and Dnazō in their latest plot to destroy Konoha."

"No, that's not—"

"Shut up, we know that smile is fake," Naruto growled. "And we also know you're lying!"

Sai didn't say anything for a long while. When he did, he refused to stop smiling. "Now that you've discovered me here, my mission is a failure. I can't finish you all by myself. And since you've figured this much out, there's no point in trying to hide the truth."

His smile dropped and he opened his eyes. "It's just as you said. We're trying to destroy the current Konoha. I was to be taken in by Orochimaru with the understanding I would help him conspire against Konoha. That is the true mission that was assigned to me."

"Do you understand what you're saying?!" Naruto demanded.

"That's not all. I'm also to secretly send back information on Orochimaru to Danzō-sama. In other words, I'm working as a spy."

"Keep talking," Yamato said.

"Double agent," I muttered.

"The moment Konoha is destroyed, Orochimaru will betray us. It's a preventative measure to make sure we keep the upper hand. The information I write on scrolls, turns into small animals and escapes. That is how I leak the information without compromising my safety. I was chosen for this mission because of that ability."

"This will only bring more harm than good," I said. "Do you really understand what it is you're doing?"

"Who cares? I'm just following orders. One more thing. The name 'Sai' was assigned to me for this mission. I am no one. I am merely one of Danzō-sama's arms. I do not exist. There is no point in saying anything to me."

"If that's true, why do you treasure that picture book so much?" I asked, deciding it was time to pick up the pace and move on. I wasn't very patient, I suppose.

Sai's eyes widened briefly before relaxing as he looked down at his book. A rueful expression crossed over his face.

"The two boys on the front, are you and your brother. If you really are no one, then why is that book so precious to you?" When he didn't answer, I decided to answer for him. "Because it's the only thing that proves you exist—right? You haven't lost your emotions as much as you claim. No one can fully throw away their emotions. The fact that you accepted the book and even thanked me for it, proves it. You were relieved. "

"In what way does carrying this picture book around prove I exist?"

"Because you can't bare to part with it," I said. "Because you loved your brother and you didn't want to lose the one thing you could keep to remind of him and yourself—your bond with him..."

Was that right? I knew Sai had a thing for bonds... Hope I phrased that right.

Sai's eyes widened as he stared at me. "Bond?"

"We took a look inside of the book. Only the two center pages are incomplete. Sai, I know you are from ANBU ROOT. I also know that Danzō had you undergo special training to help you kill your emotions. In order to seal away all emotions, you underwent the vile training Kirigakure once used," Yamato further elaborated.

"That was Zabuza's village," Naruto muttered.

"Where the infamous graduation test existed," I murmured. "A battle to the death with all the students. Or a battle to the death against your friends. Does that sound about right, Sai?"

"Going by the flow of the book, you take the weapons and armor of the foes you defeat," Yamato went on. "When you get to the center of the pages, you would have had to fight your brother. You killed your—"

"I did not," Sai said. "This was supposed to be a present for my brother. But just when the picture book was almost complete, he… died from a disease. There are a lot of children in Root who were torn away from their parents because of war. He and I got along with each other as if we were real brothers, even though we weren't related by blood. He often praised my pictures. The center two pages were the ones I wanted to show him the most, but since he died I can't remember what I wanted to draw on them."

I closed my eyes, sighing through my nose. "We need to leave."

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Back outside the base, with Sai tied up in wooden ropes, Naruto claimed it was time to get back to the mission of saving Sasuke.

"You shouldn't bother," Sai said after hearing this. Naruto frowned, glancing down at him. "Orochimaru is constantly with Sasuke, you would have to fight him again… Also… Sasuke does not care about you anymore."

Naruto was silent for a minute before he spoke again. "Sasuke is my friend. Someone who I was finally able to form a bond with. I don't care who I have to fight. If he rips my arms off, I'll kick him to death. If he rips my legs off, I'll bite him to death. If he rips my head off, I'll stare him to death. And if he gouges out my eyes, I'll curse him from beyond the grave."

Sai glanced up at Naruto with wide eyes.

Naruto grinned. "Even if I'm torn to shreds, I'm taking Sasuke back from Orochimaru!"

"That wouldn't be something you see every day," I commented.

Sasori shook his head. "It would certainly be interesting though... Perhaps Hidan could volunteer..."

I fought to hide my grin. This was a serious situation. I shouldn't be grinning. I shouldn't be grinning. I shouldn't be grinning.

Damn it, Sasori. This was all his fault.

"We move as soon as the clone is complete," Yamato said, taking a step forward.

A rush of tingling sensation crawled up and down my spine and I reacted on instinct. I lurched back and away from Sai, just in time to see a handful of kunai land on the ground where Naruto, Yamato and I just were.

More kunai whirled towards us, forcing me to flip in midair to avoid them. Kabuto landed in front of Sai, his back turned to him.

"And here I thought we'd managed to fool our tracker. But you are one of Orochimaru-sama's guinea pigs, so I suppose it's not unexpected."

"Jealous lapdog?" I called out.

He ignored me. "Sai, I see you've been taken prisoner."

"Take a hike," Naruto said. "If you don't leave, I won't hold back."

Kabuto didn't respond, instead a clone Naruto charged from above him, holding the Rasengan. Kabuto side stepped the clone and quickly dispelled it. "You're wasting your time."

"You don't know until you try!" Naruto growled, already summoning up more clones. Four clones charged towards Kabuto while the real Naruto vanished from my sight for a moment.

I scoffed, my hands forming rapid handseals.

The ground underneath Kabuto turned into mud, throwing him off balance enough for one of Naruto's clones to land a punch against him.

My hands moved quickly.

Kabuto glowered slightly before pulling himself out of the mud.

"Water Style: Water Dragon!"

Just as I finished my justu, Yamato finished his. Wooden boxed roots sprung up from the ground, twirling and twisting in the air towards Kabuto. Kabuto quickly grabbed Sai and attempted to dodge the roots. My dragon twisted in the air, heading straight for Kabuto.

Sadly though, Kabuto managed a last minute dodging, forcing my dragon to hit into the small rocky mountain—hill?—behind him. The top of the mountain crumbled away from my attack.

"Damn," I muttered.

"That was poor," Sasori said from beside me.

"So I don't have a hundred percent accuracy, sue me."

Kabuto sliced Sai free from his bonds, stepping forward with a smirk. "I must say, I genuinely feel sorry for you people. Especially you, Naruto-kun. You're the most pitiful one the lot. Even if you do defeat me, you're wasting your time. People change. Sasuke-kun's not the same person that you used to know."

In a single movement, Sai gripped Kabuto's hand, twisted it back and forced him down on to the ground. I don't think I had even seen Naruto gap as much as he did at that moment.

"Ironic how the traitor was betrayed by another traitor," Sasori mused.

"What's the meaning of this?" Kabuto hissed. "Your mission was to be the liaison between Orochimaru-sama and Danzō."

"You said people change," Sai said. "That means I can, too."

"What?"

"But, there are also things that don't change," Sai continued. "That bond… I want to see it for myself."

This was directed at Naruto. Naruto smiled.

Yamato landed beside Sai and Kabuto, where he quickly summoned wood to wrap around Kabuto. Yamato summoned a wood clone to guard him.

I moved, jumping from my spot to land beside Naruto and Sai.

"Sai, what are you thinking?" Naruto asked softly.

"I want to know why you go so far for Sasuke-kun and what bonds really are," Sai responded. According to you two, I still have bonds with my brother. If such bonds are really that important, then I might understand them better if I see you and Sasuke-kun. That is all."

Naruto smiled. "Now where would Sasuke be…?"

"By now? Probably finished with his training and heading back to his room in the inner area," I answered absently, frowning thoughtfully.

Sai blinked. "That would be correct. Sasuke-kun left to train with Orochimaru earlier. How did you know such things, Sakura?"

"How did you know that?" Kabuto asked, his gaze hard as he stared up at me.

I blinked. Oops.

"I know things. Leave it at that for now."

Naruto chuckled. "Momma has a habit of always knowing things she shouldn't. Pervy-Sage always backs her up on it and I've learned to as well."

My lips twitched. "But I don't know which room. We'll have to search all of them. But we will need to proceed with caution. Orochimaru's room is most likely there as well. Shall we go ahead and get started?"

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

The four of us ran down the eerily lit hallways, our footsteps echoing softly. The candles flickered around us and Yamato raised his hand for us to stop.

"We will split up from here on. The teams will be Saura and myself, and Naruto and Sai," Yamato said. "Focus your chakra if something happens. I'll rush to you as quickly as I can. Okay… Move out!"

Yamato and I ran down one hallway, Sai and Naruto down another.

Our footsteps echoed softly, quickly paced and the only sound down the hallway. We came across the first door, opening it carefully to find it empty before we moved on.

Another door, followed by a third one. Fourth and fifth, sixth and seventh. Eight, nine, ten, eleven. Twelve… thirteen…

A sharp spike of a familiar chakra had us halting in our steps. Naruto had just summoned up a small army of clones.

Yamato and I exchanged a glance before we ran towards the spike of chakra. We reached him in a minute, only to find Orochimaru standing in front of us.

Orochimaru froze. "Naruto-kun, I will let you live for now. Please do your best to kill at least one Akatsuki member for me, okay? Now then, I have business with that Sai boy. If you'll excuse me."

He was gone.

Naruto cursed under his breath.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

An explosion rocked the base, forcing me to momentarily falter in my pursuit. But only for a moment before I was off and running towards the sound, sprinting, really.

Naruto and Yamato had went down a separate hall, I would meet up with them later.

I burst out into the now destroyed clearing, rushing towards Sai.

(Third Person POV – Sai)

Sai stood up shakily from the explosion, his entire body tense and alert as he stared up at the threat known as Uchiha Sasuke.

Before either of the two could make a movement or sound, Sakura burst into the clearing. She didn't even seem to notice Sasuke, rushing straight towards Sai instead.

"Sai, are you okay?" she questioned, her face screwed up in mild worry.

Only mild of course. From the short time he had known Sakura, he had already come to the conclusion she very rarely took things seriously. It was almost refreshing from his previous times in the stoic world of Root.

"I am fine," Sai said calmly.

"Sakura."

It was Sasuke who had spoken. His voice, at first glance held no emotion. But Sai was a trained ANBU and knew how to read people. Even if he himself didn't understand people from before… but After Naruto's influence he could slowly see why people did what they did.

Sasuke's voice, at first glance held no emotion. But there was a twinge of mild curiosity in it—and amusement.

Sakura froze at the voice, her eyes momentarily widening before she turned to look up at her former teammate.

She relaxed and gave an easy smirk. "Duck-Ass."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed slightly—though it was difficult to see with the sun shining from above and behind him.

"Flat-Chest," Sasuke said, matching her tone with ease.

"How have you been?" Sakura asked, her stance and tone giving off the impression she was merely talking to a dear friend she hasn't seen in a while.

Completely contradictory to the situation at hand—talking casually with a dangerous opponent.

When Sasuke did not answer—no surprise to Sai—Sakura huffed and moved her hand to rummage through the pack she carried around. Although her eyes never strayed from Sasuke's.

It was at that moment that Naruto rushed from the other hallway, running forward to meet Sakura. His footsteps faltered when he noticed the direction of her gaze. He stopped completely upon reaching both Sai and Sakura, turning to face Sasuke with wide eyes.

"Naruto," Sasuke noted. "So you're here too? I assume Kakashi's with you as well."

Sai didn't even glance back as Yamato entered the demolished clearing as well. Though Yamato's voice screamed casual, his entire body was tense and alert.

"Sorry, but I'm not Kakashi-san," Yamato said, moving to stand beside the group.

"Kakashi's taking a vacation," Sakura said a hint of teasing in her voice. "Yamato-taichou is acting in his place. We're supposed to bring you back to Konoha."

Her tone and emphasis on supposed clearly showed she didn't believe this was going to happen, but it showed she clearly didn't mind either. If anything, she seemed to find the whole situation amusing.

Sai wondered what exactly amused her so.

Sasuke must have noticed it as well, his eyes flashed with something akin to curiosity before returning back to their stoic self.

Sai drew his blade, preparing himself for a battle that he knew would come soon.

The whole reason he had found Sasuke was to bring him back to Konoha—to protect the bond that Naruto had so passionately declared existed. A bond in which that intrigued Sai greatly.

"So he's my replacement?" Sasuke asked, mildly curious. "Another loser joins the ranks."

"Takes one to know one, Duck-Ass," Sakura called, a hint of laughter in her voice. "But don't be jealous. Once a loser, always a loser in my book."

Sasuke's eyes flashed again, though Sai doubt the others had noticed. Perhaps Yamato had.

"Same as ever, Pinky," Sasuke commented sardonically.

"I know you missed me," Sakura teased.

And it was just that, Sai had come to realize. She was teasing him exactly like old comrades. As if he had never defected and betrayed Konoha in the first place.

It was surely a strange sight as Sai had never seen anyone act so casual in related situations.

Sai's mind briefly wandered to the conversation Naruto had made with him back inside the base. How he was so sure Sakura was the only reason Team 7 stayed together for so long. Sai had wondered momentarily how anyone could keep a dysfunctional team together at all—it seemed unlikely but now Sai had his answer.

He had read once in a book that people naturally orbited themselves to those calm in a crisis situation. It was one of the basic foundations to why a leader must always keep their heads during a mission. He read further how people were drawn to those—subconsciously or consciously—to those who could bring them amusement or happiness.

It was one of the theories he thought applied to himself and Naruto.

But now he can see both theories take place in this situation.

Sakura rarely took things seriously, and at first glance it could be accused as carelessness. But Sai had yet to see Sakura discard information and throw herself into the fray with reckless ambitions. She had yet to even go through with anything without seeming to think it through. Perhaps looks were deceiving, but Sai was declined to agree such things when concerning her.

Then there was her offhandedness to dismiss a situation so easily and prove to others as well, that it was being blown out of proportion. Sai could argue it was merely a down-to-Earth type nature, but that wouldn't be quite right. She could be eccentric at times, from what can be gathered from Naruto's comments.

But she seemed to always be in tune with her comrades. Or more precisely, with Naruto.

She was deceptively perceptive, her behavior seemingly uncaring to her surroundings. It was a contradictory in of itself.

But it was because of this that led her to form certain bonds between her teammates.

Naruto, for example.

Naruto was brash yet able to come up with ingenious plans on the battlefield. He's hotheaded, determined and—there really was no other word for it—pure hearted. From Naruto's file, he had been orphaned at a young age and forced to live without family or friends for the majority of his childhood.

Sakura's perceptive nature most likely led her to be in tune with Naruto's emotions. What other way to explain how she could so carefully tell what he's feeling and know exactly how to act?

Sai could most likely conclude her 'mother' role was taken on by herself to fulfill one of Naruto's needs. More than likely she was trying to ease his suffering by taking on an important role—a maternal role. Even if she herself did not consciously realize it.

Furthermore, based off of these observations, it can be concluded that she was more than likely in tune with both Kakashi and Sasuke.

And after observing the exchange just moments ago, Sai could safely say she was—if only a little—in tune with Sasuke.

It was, perhaps, for that reason alone that both seem so relaxed towards each other. Their bond is a—or at least it appears to be—symbiotic relationship. The reason Sakura remains at such good terms with Sasuke is because neither of them seem to care about the situation.

If Sai didn't know any better, he would have said they were both amused by the situation.

Sai shook his head slightly.

The bonds between this team was certainly strange. And the bonds surrounding Sakura seemed even more strange and twice as complicated.

Sai wondered if he would be able to form a similar bond with Sakura.

"While it is true that my secret mission was to assassinate you, Sasuke-kun," Sai began, "I don't care about my orders anymore. I want to act on my own free will. And I think Naruto-kun can help me remember what it is like to feel again. I think that is something very important."

Sai paused. "I don't know much about you, but there must be a reason why Naruto-kun and Sakura-san came all this way just for you! They're going all out to keep their bonds with you from being severed. I still don't understand it myself but, Sasuke-kun you should!"

Sasuke was quiet for a moment before he spoke. His tone dropped down to stoic and his expression became unreadable—even for Sai.

"Oh, I do." Sasuke paused. "That's why I severed them."

Sai's eyes flickered towards the group.

Naruto's face looked stricken and Yamato looked grim. And Sakura…

Sakura seemed even more amused. Was she snickering?

It was then that Sai decided he doubted he could ever understand the enigma that was Haruno Sakura.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

(First Person POV – Sakura)

I felt like chuckling like mad when Sasuke said that. It just seemed so… melodramatic. I felt like I was in a soap opera, I really did.

"I have a different 'bond.' A bond of hatred with my brother," Sasuke said—his expression unreadable.

So dramatic…

I was tempted to say—That's a shitty bond, you should get a refund. But somehow I had the feeling that would just make him grouchy.

"… Other bonds may confuse you," Sasuke went on, remaining apathetic. "…and distract you from your greatest desires and the emotions that matter."

At his words I felt a small falter in myself. A pause and for a worrying second I thought my plan wouldn't work. But there was no point in worrying about it now, the least I could do was try.

"Then why…?" Naruto asked softly. "Why didn't you…? Why didn't you kill me?! Is this your idea of cutting off bonds, Sasuke?!"

"The reason is simple. It's not that I couldn't cut off my bonds with you. The idea of doing what he said in order to become more powerful made me sick."

"What're you talking about?" Naruto asked.

"I don't owe you any explanations."

Naruto looked sharply at me and I smiled. "I'll explain it later."

Naruto gave a single nod before looking back at Sasuke. Sasuke ignored the exchange, instead he chose to appear right in front of Naruto in half a second.

He stepped to his side, his left arm wrapping around loosely to Naruto's front as his left hand rested on Naruto's right shoulder.

I pulled out the red scroll.

"Come to think of it, wasn't it your dream to become Hokage?" Sasuke asked. "You should've spent your time training instead of wasting it running around chasing me. Right, Naruto? After this, I'm going to kill you on a whim."

Every so slowly, Sasuke pulled out his special katana from behind him around his wasit.

"Someone who can't save even one friend isn't fit to become Hokage. Right, Sasuke?" Naruto said, his voice low.

Sasuke's blade swung slowly from behind and I moved—as did Sai.

My right hand, that held the scroll, clenchted tightly. My left hand darted out and grabbed hold of Sasuke's arm, stopping him from attacking. I stood behind Naruto, my gaze locked to Sasuke.

"Bad Duck-Ass," I scolded lightly.

He didn't even blink. "That was the correct way to block my attack."

I squeezed his arm tightly, my right hand moving forward and prodding his left hand. His eyes slid over to the scroll, then swung back to me.

I gave a slow nod. "Have I ever let you down before?"

It was stare down, but Sasuke took the scroll nonetheless. I grinned.

Naruto moved, grabbing Sasuke's arm and trying to flip away. Sasuke's eyes flashed as his Sharingan took place. His fingers flickered with electricity as he sent sparks of it flying around him. It was enough to send Naruto whirling back. I cringed and released his arm, stepping back. The electricity sparked all over, hitting Sai and effectively knocking him out.

He glanced down at the scroll before he carefully tucked it away.

Yamato stared at Sasuke a moment before pulling out a kunai and rushing forward. Sasuke raised his arm, raising his sword with it. His sword glowed a bright pale blue, electricity circling around it and he charged towards Yamato.

Yamato raised his kunai in attempt to block the sword—but the sword went straight through it and into Yamato's chest.

"That was the incorrect way to block my attack," Sasuke said. "My sword of Kusanagi is a unique blade. Guarding against it is impossible."

"Duck-Ass… I kind of need him alive," I commented dryly.

Sasuke's eyes flickered towards me and I shrugged. I rushed forward, bringing out my fist to punch away the sword. Sasuke made a last minute dodge, jumping back and away from me.

I raised an eyebrow at him. He stared at me impassively.

My hands flickered green as I kneeled beside Yamato, repairing the numbing damage done to his lungs. Lucky for him Sasuke only broke a rib, didn't even touch the chest. Still…

Naruto gave a low growl from where he laid, struggling to sit up. Sasuke glanced at him, his eyes flashing and they locked eyes.

Slowly, Sai shook his head and sat up.

Taking the chance at the distraction, Yamato performed a quick handseal. Wood erupted from the ground, intent on capturing Sasuke. Sasuke scowled before jumping back up and out of the crater.

It was deadly quiet.

Sasuke's scowl faded and he returned to staring down impassively at us. His hands then moved into rapid handseals.

"I've had enough of you," Sasuke said.

He then raised his left hand above his head, his entire body glowed blue with chakra—only to have Orochimaru appear from nowhere and grab his hand.

The chakra subsided.

"You are not using that technique, Sasuke-kun," Orochimaru said firmly.

"Beat it."

"Come now," Kabuto said, appearing from the other side of Sasuke. "You're still using such foul language with Orochimaru-sama?"

"I don't see a reason to stop."

"You know what the Akatsuki is up to, don't you?" Kabuto asked. "That's why we want Konoha to help eliminate them. Even if it's just one. If the other Akatsuki members interfere, then you'll have more trouble taking your revenge, right?"

"That's pathetic," Sasuke said.

"It's an opportunity to improve your chances, even if by only 1%."

After a long moment, Sasuke's hand relaxed and Orochimaru released him. Sasuke sheathed his sword, sparing us one last glance.

And then they were gone.

I finished repairing Yamato, and moved to kneel beside Naruto. His face looked stricken and his eyes were unusually bright.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Don't worry, Momma will make things all better," I promised him.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

(Third Person POV – Sasuke)

Sasuke has been left to his own devices when they had reached the new base. Normally he would have gone straight off and slept, but he had something else to do apparently.

So instead he lit a candle in his temporary room and pulled out the scroll Sakura had given him.

It was odd. She really couldn't have known she was going to see him. Orochimaru had made it clear this whole scenario was supposedly a surprise to the team—with the exception of Sasuke's replacement.

A curious thing, really.

But what's even more curious was the fact Sasuke even bothered with the scroll. Perhaps it was because some part of him still trusted her. Perhaps it was because she seemed so ready to trust him. But more than likely it was just morbid curiosity at what was inside it.

Tied to the front of the scroll was an envelope, in large bolded letters it read, 'READ ME FIRST!'

Sasuke carefully untied the scroll, setting it down on his temporary desk and opened the letter.

He read it.

Dear Duck-Ass,

Let me tell you this now, this letter is probably going to leave you with some unanswered questions. But if you do read it, then you're going to be super grateful towards me.

Or at least you better. Do you have any idea how much of a hassle it was to make that scroll?

First things first…

Don't let Orochimaru read this letter. This is mostly for your safety than my own.

I know when Orochimaru is about ready to take a new body—your body—you will kill him. There is not a doubt in my mind you will succeed at this.

I know you then intend to create a team to track down Itachi. The team will then be used to prevent any outside help on Itachi's part. Don't ask me how I know this(Not that you could anyway for the moment...).

The following I'm going to tell you will be a bit difficult to understand—but you must know that I do know these things. I'll prove it to you.

For your team, you're going to take Suigetsu first. His ability is to pretty much turn into water. He's a master swordsman and he will want Zabuza's old blade. You remember Zabuza, don't you? Well, in exchange for being your teammate, he wants the blade. Don't bother looking at Zabuza's grave for it, it's long gone. It was taken by a man named Tenzen Daikoko. He's a lot like Gato.

You're next going to take Karin—from the Southern hideout, correct? She's a chakra sensor, she smells chakra. Red head, glasses, etc, etc. She won't be too difficult to convince. But I warn you—she's a fan girl. Creepy fan girl. Like… like… I can't think of anyone who can match her.

Finally, there's Jūgo. Once again, he shouldn't be too hard to convince. Just beat down his cursed side and he'll follow you around like a puppy. It's actually quite adorable.

And to prove to you some more… Karin and Suigetsu will argue like an old married couple. A lot.

You have been warned.

Now on to my real reason for this letter…

It's about the Akatsuki.

After you have your team you will come across two Akatsuki members.

They will not be Itachi and Kisame. They will be a duo by the names of Deidara and Tobi.

Do not bother trying to kill Tobi—he cannot be killed. I am not saying this just so you can turn around and focus your attacks on him out of spite. I am saying this to save you time and effort. Tobi will not directly attack you anyway.

They will not know where Itachi is so don't even bother. But don't think you can escape them either. You would have defeated Orochimaru by this point and as such Deidara will feel compelled to challenge you.

The reason I wrote this for you, is because I want you to defeat Deidara.

But do not kill him.

I will provide you with as much information as I can on Deidara to make the battle go in your favor. In return, I ask that you simply knock him out and then open the red scroll provided.

If you have no intentions of doing this, please burn the scroll immediately.

Don't bother opening the scroll without Deidara unconscious and nearby, it has been designed specifically for my purposes.

Now for the information…

Deidara is an S-Rank missing-nin from Iwagakure's Explosion Corps. He possess the Explosion Release kekkai genkai. This allows him to use two chakra natures to give his chakra explosive qualities. He also possesses special mouths in the palms of his hands—and on his chest, left side. The mouths knead the chakra into clay.

He can than use this clay to take virtually any form. He can control the clay after releasing it. The clay creatures are very deadly as they can explode at any time he wishes. You must be very careful of this. He can create a small army of very small sized creatures that can be difficult to avoid. However, the smaller the creature, the smaller the explosion.

Deidara is a long-ranged fighter. He has a scope on his left eye capable of seeing large distances. He has trained himself to be highly resistant to genjustus, so don't even bother.

I can give you a list of strategies he may or may not use against you. He may attack from above using a bomb, he may attack you with C1—low explosives—fleas. The Chidori Senbon would prove useful in stopping them.

He might create a clay dragon, C2 explosives. If he does this, it is likely it will regurgitate a cluster of land mines. Tobi will take these landmines and hide them in the ground while Deidara will keep you distracted.

If he has moved on to the C2 explosives, be careful. Even if you go into your Cursed Seal level 2, the explosions are powerful enough to cost you a few limbs.

He might use a C4. It would probably in your best interest to stop this from happening. He will ingest clay into his own mouth and spew it out to create a giant replica of himself.

The mouth on his chest must never be activated or used. If he does, he will blow himself up at a ten mile radius, effectively killing him.

Oh… as I said before he is a long ranged fighter and as such will be trying to fly for the majority of the battle.

… I think that's it.

Oh, yes, and your team will not be with you when you encounter Deidara. Just be prepared.

So if you could pretty please knock him out and use the scroll, I would be super grateful.

The next Akatsuki members you meet will be Itachi and Kisame so… good luck, I guess.

Before I forget…

Change your outfit. Seriously. What the hell is up with the open shirt shit? You look… Well, you look like you've become Orochimaru's sex toy.

Also, what's with the purple…?

You might want to reconsider your wardrobe. Wouldn't want Itachi to die laughing at seeing your ridiculous outfit, now would you?

Did you know Gaara became Kazekage?

No matter what Karin says, it's not normal for girls to bathe in the guys' hot springs.

Can I have Jūgo when you're done? He's so adorable.

Have you been spying on Kabuto for me? If you haven't, then you might as well start now. Because I have questions for you and if you don't have answers I'm castrating you.

Okay, that's it for now. See you when you fight Itachi!

With oodles and oodles of love,

Sakura

Sasuke stared at the letter, a mixture of emotions running in him. Irritation at Sakura for her comments on his appearance, amusement for her parting signature but mostly… shock.

There was no way for Sakura to have known any of this information. From what Sasuke could gather it looked as though she was speaking of the future—something no one should be able to see. Yet here it was.

Sasuke knew Sakura was perceptive. He knew she was observant, but could that all have been simply because she knew these things were going to happen?

Sasuke would have said it was impossible.

He glanced back at the scroll, eyeing it warily.

Only time would tell.

In the meantime he had training.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Dear Sakura,

You already know the person I admire.

Naruto truly is an amazing person.

Yours,

Gaara

So... there's Sasuke everyone... I think this story is Sakura-centric, now that I think about it. :I Oh well.

Can anyone guess what's in the scroll?

Why hasn't Sakura and Kurama interacted much?

How? Kurama isn't inside of her, and she certainly isn't a sealing master. Besides, Kurama shared his over all feelings for humans during the Fourth War and how he needed to watch Naruto grow for himself in order to 'redeem humanity in his eyes.' In the beginning Naruto was just some annoying boy who took his chakra. Naruto had to prove himself to Kurama and he can't do that until he's able to beat Kurama which he can't do until he undergoes the proper training with Bee-sama. He could, I conceed, not treat Kurama with such hostility but then again they aren't really at a bad relationship. And Kurama certainly won't start acting nicer just because Naruto does. However, that was one of the things I intended to change. Way back in part I Sakura mentioned how Kurama wasn't a monster but Naruto didn't entirely believe her. I meant to further elaborate on that but forgot.

My bad.

I have the utmost intentions of rectifying that issue straight away. I probably would have still forgotten about it until the very end :I Oops.

Thank you for pointing this out to me.

Who will Sakura be paired with... Hint?

I've debated on this for quite some time. As most of you can guess this is a humor/parody story above all else so romance takes a back seat.

If Sakura would be paired with anyone it would...

Nah, I'm kidding. I'm not telling until the end. I know. I know. I'm evil. Shame on me. Shame, shame, shame.

Answer: Hmm... either Jiraiya or Nagato or Tobi... I think they would be fun senseis. But if I had to choose then probably Tobi. I'm too infatuated with him to not have him as my sensei. I actually wanted him to be Sakura's shisho but Jiraiya just seemed better at the time and explaining how they became student/teacher would have been way too troublesome... Shhh, don't tell Jiraiya. ;)

The Question: What is the one thing you would love to change about Naruto? Be it characters or plotline or hell, just something funny you want to see happen.