A/N: Ever had one of those writing moments when you thought you were going to be able to wrap things up, then 4500 words later you realized you were going to have to write one more chapter? Well, here's mine :) Second to last chapter, and the next should come fairly quickly. I'm leaving for vacation in 3 days and want to have it all wrapped up by then...we'll see if I can manage it! Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing, and to all my peeps on Twitter for the constant inspiration, encouragement, and especially for the laughs. To SuperMandy77 and to Ms_TGR, as always, thanks for the editing, the ideas and the friendship! Especially to Thais for the help with the Buffy reference :)
Disclaimer: I'm leaving for LA on Saturday. If all goes as planned, AWM will hire me as a writer and in fact Castle will finally be mine for reals. hehehe...a girl can dream!
When Kate finally made her way downstairs after getting dressed and blow drying her hair, Castle and Alexis were already hard at work in the kitchen. Martha was putting the finishing touches on the table setting. Kate watched silently from the landing of the stairs, rooted to the spot. All of a sudden she was nervous.
The feeling had been building in her since Castle had left her in the bathroom earlier, but now it was rising to the surface and she couldn't push it back down. Although she had agreed to Castle's plan, she truly wasn't sure how exactly to do what he was asking. How does one go about acting against their instincts? Kate felt the crease in her brow deepening as she considered what she should do. She felt completely off-kilter. But maybe that was the point. Maybe that's exactly what she needed to do to finally move forward in her life.
The sound of a ringing phone brought Kate suddenly out of her musings.
Rick picked the handset up off the cradle in the living room and walked towards his office. He still hadn't noticed Kate standing there, but Alexis looked up and caught Kate's attention.
"Kate!" the little girl ran over to her and threw her arms around her waist. Kate returned the little girl's affections. "Kate, Dad and I are making pancakes for you!"
Kate smiled down at Alexis, revived from her deep thoughts by the burst of sunshine before her. "Alexis, pancakes are my favorite! How did you know? Did someone tell you?"
"No, but they're our favorite too. We even put chocolate chips in them." The girl smiled proudly.
Martha looked up and caught her eye, smiling warmly.
"Kate, my darling, how are you this morning?" Taking note of Kate's improved appearance from the night before she continued, "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, I did, thank you, Martha. And thank you for letting me stay here for a few days. I hope I won't get in your way." Kate was still a little bit self-conscious about staying with the Castle's. If it was just him it would be one thing, but moving in with his entire family after just knowing Rick and Alexis for three days was more than overwhelming.
"Oh, dear, don't be silly. Of course you can stay. We owe you a great deal so it's the least that we can do." Martha's genuine sincerity helped to set Kate's mind at ease, at least somewhat.
Rick walked back into the room and gently replaced the phone. Kate crossed to him, a worried look on her face matching his own.
"Castle? What's wrong?"
He swallowed thickly and looked down at her, forcing a smile to his face. "Nothing," he said.
But Kate was far from convinced. "Castle..." her tone made it clear that she knew he was holding back from her.
"I, um..." He looked past her at Alexis. She and Martha were pouring the last of the pancake batter into the hot frying pan.
Kate swiveled around to take in the sight and then back to him. "Castle, what aren't you telling me? Who was on the phone?" She asked quietly but with more than a little urgency in her tone.
Rick looked back down at her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Can we talk about it later?"
"Rick, you were the one who said we needed to do this together. That we shouldn't be holding back from each other. But that's exactly what you're doing. Why did you suggest it if you didn't actually want to try?" Kate's frustration with Castle was growing.
"Mother? Alexis? We'll be right there okay? You two get started with your breakfast before it gets cold." Rick called across the room to the two redheads in the kitchen. When Alexis looked up at him disappointed, he followed up with, "Don't worry, we'll be right there. I just have to talk to Kate for a minute okay?" Alexis nodded sullenly and Rick guided Kate into his office.
When he closed the door behind her, he leaned back against it and closed his eyes.
"Rick, please tell me what's happening."
Castle pursed his lips together as he looked down at her. Taking a deep breath before starting, he said, "Kate, I don't want you to think I'm not trying. I want to try, I really do. But this is...well, I don't know how to say it."
"Okay, you're scaring me. You need to just say whatever it is. Just say it. Quick and dirty."
Castle's smirked at the phrasing she had used, a devilish smile rising to his face. "Quick and dirty?" he wiggled his eyebrows and winked at her.
"Castle, focus okay? It was a ...poor choice of words."
"Oh, actually I liked the words."
"Castle! Please."
"Right, sorry. Not the time. I'll save it for later." Castle walked further into the room towards the window and stared out over the city, his somber mood returning.
Kate came up behind him and put her arms around his waist, moulding herself against his back. "Please tell me," she whispered.
After a few minutes he started, "The phone...it was Detective Montgomery."
Kate pulled her head away from Castle's strong back and her grip loosened around his waist. "What? Why did he talk to you? Why didn't you let me talk to him?"
Castle turned around taking Kate in his arms, making sure she couldn't break her hold of him. "He's on his way over." Castle leaned down to kiss her cheek softly.
"Oh. Why didn't he just talk to me on the phone?"
"He's got some news about the case and he said he needs to ask you some questions. He was just asking me if I thought you would be up to it." Kate pulled back from him further, but Castle still wouldn't let her go. Her eyes moved back and forth as she thought of a million things she wanted to say. She was frankly pissed that Montgomery felt he needed Castle to gauge her ability to talk, like he was her keeper or something.
"Why didn't he ask me himself?"
"He wanted to Kate, but I didn't realize you had come down. I told him you were still upstairs, so he told me that he would just come by instead. He said it would probably be better to talk to you face to face anyways."
"Oh," Kate settled a bit at Castle's explanation, realizing it made sense. But there was something more that he wasn't telling her. "So what else did he say?"
"Kate, can we just talk about it when he gets here? Let's just have breakfast with Alexis and then Montgomery can tell you everything." Castle started walking towards the door, trying to usher Kate out with him.
"No," Kate replied adamantly. Castle stopped and turned to face her.
"No?" He asked her, his confusion evident.
"No, Castle. You said that we need to share everything. We need to work through this together. That means you can't hide things from me if you think I won't be able to handle it, or if you aren't sure how to say it, or if you think it would come better from someone else. If I'm going to try, then you have to too. So tell me. And we'll deal with it together."
Castle was surprised by the vehemence that Kate was speaking with. On one hand he was pleased that she was taking his challenge so seriously, that she really wanted to try to work through everything together. But at the same time he was also surprised by it. He thought it would be a fight to get her to open up to him, but then again, he reminded himself, she really didn't do anything halfway, and he'd never seen her back down from a challenge. She had agreed to his plan and now, rightly so, she was holding him to it too.
Castle hadn't really realized how hard it might be for him to follow the plan as well. He took a deep breath and looked seriously at her. "Kate, Montgomery talked to Jones."
"Okay, good." Kate shook her head, not understanding his hesitance.
"No, Kate, it's not good."
"What? What do you mean?"
"Kate," Castle took a deep steadying breath, then plowed forward, "they can't find Johnson."
Kate reeled back from him putting her hands up in front of her, keeping him from moving with her when he tried to step in and comfort her. "What? What do you mean they can't find Johnson?"
"I don't know Kate. That's all Montgomery would tell me."
Just then there was a soft knock at the office door. "Richard? Kate?" Martha's voice came softly through the barrier.
Castle rolled his eyes at the poor timing of the interruption, but he opened the door.
"Richard, I'm sorry to interrupt, but we have one sad little girl playing with the food on her plate out here. She's insisting that she won't start until you two join her. Said it's rude to eat without the guest of honor." Martha looked apologetically from Rick to Kate.
"No, Mother, it's alright. We'll be right out." Rick turned to face Kate. "I'm sorry, but, well, this is parenthood. Do you want me to tell Alexis you're not feeling well? I'm sure she'll understand."
Kate looked past him at the sight of Alexis at the table alone, chin tucked to her chest, her hands folded gently on her lap. "When she's waiting for the guest of honor? No," she resolved. "Let's go eat. We shouldn't keep Alexis waiting any longer. But she doesn't need to know about this. We'll just have to deal with it when Montgomery gets here."
As she started to walk out of the office, Kate paused and placed her hand lightly on Castle's chest. Looking deep into his eyes, she smiled. "Rick, thank you for telling me. Thank you for trying."
Rick took her hand in his and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, smiling back. They both took a deep breath, put happy smiles on their faces and joined Alexis and Martha for breakfast.
The knock on the front door caused Kate and Rick to stop and stare at each other, the last bites of chocolate chip pancakes hovering in front of their open mouths, the last traces of maple syrup dripping slowly to their plates. Rick moved first, quickly shoveling the last forkful into his mouth, then walking to the door.
Kate placed her fork, still full, back down on her plate. She looked hesitantly from Martha to Alexis who seemed to have noticed the change in mood that the knock had brought with it.
"Kate...?" Alexis whispered quietly, dread dripping from her tone.
Kate tried her best to put on a happy face, "It's okay, Alexis, it's just my boss. He's coming to check in on me. Would you like to meet him?" Kate felt like she needed to spare the little girl as much of the worry that she and Castle were dealing with as she could. She had been through enough already, and mature as she was, Kate didn't want her to do anything but work on getting past it.
Eyes instantly wide and bright, the little girl threw down her fork and jumped up from the table, exclaiming an exuberant "yes!" before running over to join her father at the door.
"Ooof!" Castle sounded as the little redhead bounded into him and grabbed hold of his waist. Righting himself, Castle made the introductions. "Detective Montgomery, this is my daughter Alexis, and my mother, Martha Rodgers."
"Ms. Rodgers, a pleasure to meet you. And Alexis, I heard about your fall yesterday. I hope you're feeling better." Montgomery smiled warmly at the girl, lowering himself to be at eye level.
Watching the detective, Kate marveled at the child's ability to develop meaningful relationships with others almost instantly upon meeting them. There was something about Alexis that just made people want to connect with her. People who had never been good at dealing with children before, people like Kate, just suddenly were.
"Oh, yes, I'm fine thank you. Kate saved me."
Montgomery looked up to see Kate finally joining them. He smiled proudly at her but spoke to Alexis. "Yes, Officer Beckett told me about it."
"Detective Montgomery?" Alexis spoke, suddenly shy. When his eyebrows rose, she continued. "I just wanted to say thank you for letting Kate come on our camping trip with us. We learned a lot from her. She's a really good police officer. And she saved my friend." The simplicity of Alexis' heartfelt thanks melted the hearts of every adult in the room. Kate especially was touched by the little girl who was so quickly becoming a part of her heart. Castle looked over at Kate and smiled appreciatively, suggesting he echoed his little girl's thanks.
"I'm glad I sent her too Alexis. And you know what? I agree, she is a really good police officer. In fact, she's one of the best we have. That's why I sent her." Montgomery winked and the two shared a smile of agreement. "Alexis, if it's okay, could I talk to Officer Beckett and your dad for a few minutes?"
"Sure," Alexis smiled brightly and took Martha's hand. "Come on Gram, these dishes aren't going to do themselves you know." Montgomery laughed as he looked at Castle.
"That's a very bright little girl you have there, Mr. Castle."
"Yeah, sometimes I forget she's only nine." He smiled proudly. "But please, call me Rick. And let's go into my office. We can talk privately there."
As soon as the door to the office was closed, Kate spoke up. She couldn't contain herself one moment longer. "Sir, they didn't find Johnson?" Montgomery looked over at Castle who just shrugged. But Montgomery knew more than anyone how hard it was to hold things back from his officer. She had a way of getting information from people, sometimes without them even realizing they were sharing it. And Montgomery could tell from the way he'd seen Castle looking at her that he was likely already wrapped around her little finger. He smiled at the thought. Good. She needs this in her life.
He turned back to his protégé and sighed heavily. "No, Beckett, they didn't. There's no sign of him."
Kate took a turn to pause now as the reality of Montgomery's words settled in. It was one thing to have Castle tell her what he heard, but another altogether to hear them from Montgomery. The meaning of the words settled like a rock in the pit of her stomach.
She felt, rather than heard, Castle come up behind her, placing his hand softly on her back. She looked up at him and could tell by the look on his face that the same thoughts were going through his mind as well. He smiled supportively at her, but it was hollow. Neither one of them was happy at the news.
"Sir? I don't..." she didn't know how to finish.
"Look Beckett, they're still looking for him, but right now we really can't rule anything out. Are you sure he was unconscious when he fell?"
Walking towards the window and looking out on the city, Kate thought back to the moment when Johnson had finally released his grip on her leg. She had, just a breath before, felt her own hand slipping from the branch she was holding. She was, in that moment, resigning herself to the reality that they were both going to fall into the water below.
When he fell, the change in her weight had affected her grip on the branch and she'd had to look up to make sure she was still holding on. Even with Castle hanging on to her too, she was still afraid she would fall. By the time she had looked down at Johnson again, he was almost to the water. His eyes were closed but thinking back on it now, Kate knew that didn't necessarily mean he was actually unconscious. She had taken it for granted that he must have been, otherwise, why would he let go?
Kate looked at Castle with worry. Could she have been wrong?
"Sir, I...well, it happened really fast and..." her voice trailed off as she replayed the memories over and over again in her mind, second-guessing everything she thought she saw. She suddenly realized why witnesses at crime scenes were so unreliable. Even as a trained professional she was having a hard time deciding exactly what she had seen.
"Beckett, I need you to tell me everything, as much as you can. Any little thing could help."
Kate spent the next few minutes relaying everything as she remembered it. She pushed herself to see it all again in fine detail, leaving nothing out. Then Castle shared his version of the events as a counterpoint for Montgomery to work from. Both expressed their regret at not having more information to give him.
After they were done and Montgomery had written it all down in his notebook, he looked back at the two of them with sincerity. "Listen, you two, you've been through a lot in the last couple days. I don't want you thinking that you didn't do everything you could to get this dirtbag. I think there's more to this guy than we know yet, but we're going to keep doing everything we can to track him down."
Something in the way Montgomery phrased his last sentence made Beckett look up in surprise. She heard a finality to his tone, an exclusion, like she wasn't going to still be part of the case. When Montgomery continued, she realized her suspicions were true. "I'll keep you informed if we get any breaks."
A wave of anger rose up in her that inexperience and youth prevented her from silencing.
"You'll keep us informed? Sir, I'll be back at the precinct tomorrow. I want to keep working on this case." Castle and Montgomery both looked at her in surprise, though the detective had suspected she might react this way.
"Sorry, Beckett, you're on the bench. You need time to heal your injuries. Take a week, relax, see a doc about that shoulder. There'll be lots of police work for you to do when you get back."
"Sir, I don't need another vacation. I'm fine. What I need is to get this guy." Castle placed a hand on her shoulder, an attempt to get her to see reason. When she shrugged it off and winced, Montgomery gave her a knowing 'I told you so' look.
"You're on leave. One week."
"But sir..."
Montgomery cut her off. "Captain's orders, Beckett." He shrugged lightly, wanting to ease the tension in the room, but knowing there was nothing he could do.
Castle looked at the two, feeling more than a little left out of the conversation. As a private citizen, no matter what his role had been in the case, his involvement in any active capacity was now over. He racked his brain looking for a reason, any reason, that he could be kept in the loop, maybe even help out. His think-outside-the-box brain reminded him of a deal he'd made with Beckett earlier that week.
"Detective Montgomery?" Castle interjected into the silence that had filled the room. "Think I could help out?"
"What?" Montgomery looked over at him in surprise, wondering how this writer could possibly help a real police investigation.
Kate's eyes narrowed as she conjured an image of the stereotypical boy's club, letting Castle be a part of the case, while she was relegated to sitting at home nursing herself back to health. She was more than a little resentful at his attempt to still be a part of the investigation, when she could not.
Castle caught sight of Beckett's reaction to his request but he squared his shoulders to Montgomery and pressed on, turning on his Castle charm. "Sure. I mean, I was there, so I have first hand knowledge that could help with the investigation. Plus, I solve mysteries for a living, so, and I'm not in any way saying I could be a cop, but I do have some experience in the area. And, well, maybe I could get a story idea out of it all."
"Write a book about the Twelfth?" Montgomery asked, trying to see the idea from all angles, still not so sure it was a good idea.
"Well, sure. I mean, you've got the best officers and detectives there right? At least that's what I've observed. And it would be a great setting for my next novel."
"Hmmm..." Montgomery thought about the idea.
"Sir, you're not actually considering this, are you?" Beckett asked in surprise. Castle looked at her with an expression that suggested he had a plan, but Kate couldn't even begin to figure out what his angle was.
"Well, it could give us some good press for a change..." Montgomery trailed off when he saw the look Beckett was giving him.
Seeing that he was breaking him, Castle made his final move; he hoped it was his check mate. "You know, I am friends with the Mayor. I could tell him what a great help you've all been to me and my daughter." Castle knew he was laying it on a little thick, but he suspected Montgomery could see the value in his offer. At least he hoped he could.
"The mayor, huh?" Montgomery looked from Castle, who seemed to be just a little too high on his connections, to Beckett, who looked exasperated by the whole conversation, back to Castle. Making a decision, he finally answered, "Well, I'm going to have to clear it with my captain, but I think I could probably get you in...for a couple of days at least...you were there after all."
Castle smiled victoriously at the detective's response, but faltered a bit when he looked at Beckett who was more angry than he'd ever seen her. This was going to take some smoothing over, but he was sure when he shared his logic with her, she would be happy about this turn of events. Or, at least, maybe not quite so pissed off.
"Great, well then, I guess I'll drop by tomorrow?" Castle asked.
"Sure. I've got to get back to the precinct now, but I'll clear it with the captain when I get there."
As Montgomery turned to leave, he paused and looked at Beckett who had returned her gaze out the window. "Kate, you did really good work out there. I'm not going to cut you out of the investigation. If we're still working it when you get back, you'll be back on my team."
She turned from the window and smiled, though it was clear she wasn't very happy about her status. "Thank you sir. I appreciate that."
Castle walked Montgomery out while Kate stayed in the office thinking about what had just happened. When Castle returned, he barely had time to step into the room and close the door when she barrelled down on him with an angry fire in her eyes. "Just what the hell was that?" she accused.
Castle stopped in his tracks, partly due to her tone, and partly because she came up on him so fast he really had nowhere else to go.
"Hey!" he said, more than a little upset by her tone. "Why don't you let me explain before you tear my head off? I did this for you, you know."
"For me?" she scoffed at his seemingly ludicrous response. "How the hell is you getting to work on the investigation, while I'm left out in the cold, possibly to my benefit?"
"Because now I can find out everything they've learned and when I come home, we can work on it together." Castle's volume was rising to match hers, though his tone was much less acrid.
Kate's mouth dropped open slightly as the words finally registered in her brain. He actually did do this for me. Shit.
"Oh." Kate looked down, embarrassed by her outburst. It was definitely not what she had expected he would say. She thought he would bumble around looking for a way to spin his win into something good for her, when really he was only thinking about himself, his career. But that wasn't it at all. Well, maybe he would get the added bonus of getting to see a police department in action. But if he was telling her the truth, and by the look in his eyes, she knew he was, then this was all so that she wouldn't be completely in the dark about what was happening in her case, even though she was being forced to take time off.
"Yeah, oh," he replied, justifiably a little pissed with her.
"Shit. I'm sorry Castle. I just thought..."
"You just thought that I was only thinking about myself, right?"
Kate nodded, ashamed.
She was surprised when he moved in closer to her and took her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. He smiled down at her, his blue eyes connecting deeply with hers. "It's okay. Don't worry about it. We're still figuring this out, right?" He leaned in and kissed her lightly, a kiss of forgiveness. "Anyways, I might have remembered that you promised to let me ride along with you sometime. This way, you can 'ride along' with me first. I can fill you in on all the details of the case and you can give me ideas that I can take back to the precinct the next day. We'll come up with some brilliant theory that they hadn't thought of, you'll get a promotion to detective, and then I'll get to ride along with you all the time."
Kate smiled at the almost sing-song enthusiasm that was building in him. "All the time, huh?" Castle nodded vigorously. "I'm not so sure I want you following me around all the time."
"Oh, come on Kate, it'll be fun! I'll be like your plucky sidekick. Alex West to your Lara Croft...hmmm, maybe not the best example, he did double-cross her. Um...I know! Steve Trevor to your Wonderwoman."
"Angel to my Buffy?" Kate asked trying to get in on the joke.
"Oooo you would make a kick ass Buffy!"
"You know, if I remember right, Angel was really more of a distraction in the end than a help, leaving Buffy to do all the work as always. You know what Castle? I think that comparison is actually pretty fitting."
"Ha ha ha." Castle laughed sarcastically, but the tension between them melted away. As he pulled her in closer to him, he asked, "So, what do you think?"
"Well, I guess as long as we don't have to go up against any misogynistic, sociopathic priests we'll be okay."
"Who Caleb? I'm pretty sure I could take that guy." Beckett found Castle's machismo distressingly adorable.
"Now that I would pay money to see." She leaned her hands against his chest, giving her the leverage she needed to reach up and kiss his smiling lips.