OCTOBER 1998-NOVEMBER 1998

Joey was the first to discover that Monica and Chandler were a couple. It had happened soon after that failed trip to Atlantic City. Monica knew she'd have to find ways to keep him quiet so she made sure she brought him plenty of trays of lasagna and plates of chocolate cakes to appease him. As she was making sure Chandler and Joey's fridge was good and stocked, Joey sat and watched her closely.

"Alright, Joe…..you should have enough food to last you at least a week," Monica mused.

"Thank you. So Atlantic City blew?" Joey asked, grinning at her from his chair.

"What did he tell you?" Monica asked, debating whether or not she should be pissed.

"That had it been legal, he would have killed you," Joey said which made Monica laugh.

"Nice."

"Well, relax."

"But if the room is dirty-"

"How dirty was it?"

"There was a lipstick stain on the glass."

"Get a new glass. Look, I'm gonna be very honest and you know you're like a sister to me but at times, it would be best if you calmed the eff down."

"I'm feeding you, jackass," Monica said, slightly stunned.

"I'm just saying…..look Chandler and I have done really well as roommates, right. Basically, you gotta pick your battles. What's more important? A clean room or a good relationship?"

Monica let that sink in and decided that he may or may not have had a good point.

"Sometimes you say very smart things, Joe," Monica said.

"I have my moments."

Monica laughed as she continued stocking his fridge as Joey watched. It had been five months since her relationship with Chandler had begun. It was unbelievable to her and she had never been happier. Everything about the relationship felt so easy which she had not expected with a guy like Chandler. She wondered if they should soon start telling the rest of them but chickened out every single time, she wasn't ready yet to let them know. It was still too precious and besides, there was still a lot of other things going on in there group of six that made it a bit easier to keep the relationship hidden. The biggest thing was the fall out of Ross' second marriage. Emily had decided to file for divorce which caused her brother to go into a tailspin that ultimately ended up with him moving in with Chandler and Joey because he had been kicked out of Emily's cousin's place where he had been staying.

"You're living with Joey and Chandler?" Monica asked over breakfast one Sunday. Monica and Ross decided to have a brother-sister brunch away from the group. She felt they needed to talk and she wanted to try and be there for her brother and keep him from further spinning out of control.

"Yeah. I'm twenty nine years old and I've been divorced twice….my life is crap."

"I'm sorry."

"I will never get married again."

"Don't say that….maybe you and Rachel will finally make it work?" Monica asked.

"Probably not. What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing Ross….Carol was a lesbian and...well, you shouldn't have said Rachel's name at the altar so maybe Emily's was your fault-"

"But Rachel should not have flown to London to stop the wedding. We were on a break," Ross tried.

Monica let out an annoyed sigh. It was conversations like this that made her glad that she and Chandler were keeping their relationship private.

"You're right. She shouldn't done that...but okay I'm going to ask you the same thing I asked Rachel. What do you want from her? You two have this intense relationship and it's on and it's off and you get jealous and you were either on a break or not on a break or-"

"We were on a break." Ross interjected.

"I don't care and then she gets crazed and okay, that guy, Joshua...I'm just glad that guy didn't pull out a restraining order. So what do you want?"

"I don't know. I really don't know. I do love her. She's beautiful and smart and funny...and brave. Really strong, much stronger than I ever gave her credit for but...I don't know what I want."

"Well, you two really need to figure it out and fast."

"I know…..but at least I have a place to stay. I'm very grateful for Joey and Chandler."

"Me too but….okay but those two boys have been living really well together for a long time. You're a guest so you have to not annoy them," Monica warned.

"I won't annoy them. I was Chandler's roommate for four years."

"And you annoyed him," Monica grinned.

"I did not."

"Really?"

Ross let out a grunt and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"What does he know? He was drunk for four years."

Monica laughed, "do not annoy them...Joey and Chandler are a team, you know that. If you annoy them both, they will come after you...in a way that I personally will probably find very funny, but you know that's just me. Actually, you know what...go ahead and annoy them. I kinda wanna see what they'd do."

Ross gave her a look. Monica shook her head, hoping that it wouldn't be too difficult for the three boys to share a room.

"So, what about you?" Ross asked, changing the subject.

"What about me?"

"Work, relationship….anything? I need some happy news. I don't wanna talk about my life anymore."

Monica opened her mouth and shut it. Ross had always said that if something were to happen between her and Chandler, he wouldn't be upset but that was a long time ago. What would Ross think if he had known that she and Chandler had hooked up during his wedding? It had only been five months and Ross was now going to be living in Joey and Chandler's apartment. What if telling Ross caused tension between Chandler and Ross and then Joey would be stuck between them?

"Work is good and um….no...no new relationships," Monica said, feeling bad about lying but they just were not ready yet. It was not the time.

Chandler was sleeping in her bedroom, now that Ross was crashing on the couch in his place. Rachel never seemed to ask questions or emerge from her room which made Monica wonder if Rachel knew and was just going along with Monica's wish which was to let Monica keep the relationship to herself until she was ready to tell and if Rachel spotted Chandler walking out of their apartment, then Monica could no longer keep it to herself. If that was the case, Monica felt an immense amount of gratitude towards Rachel. She and Chandler were able to spend many moments alone in her bedroom, they would talk for hours, kiss, have sex and just be together, just the two of them tangled up in each other.

"I may have to start drinking excessively again," Chandler said, lying in Monica's bed. It was late at night and he had snuck into Monica's room. The two lay side by side after having sex. Monica let out a laugh.

"Excuse me?"

"I realized that the only reason I got through college living with Ross was by drinking a lot. I think I wanna start doing that again," Chandler said.

"Okay...um, first, love discussing my brother after we've had sex. Nothing turns me on more," Monica said, sarcasm dripping from every word. Chandler reacted by nodding.

"Impressive use of sarcasm," Chandler grinned.

"Thank you...you have taught me well," Monica said. "Second, it's fine...he's going through a rough time."

"He has the humidifier again."

"Yeah, that thing is horrible, isn't it?" Monica asked.

"And the quiet hands-"

"He did that in college?" Monica asked.

"Yes."

"I told him not to do that."

"You did?" Chandler asked.

"Yes...I said if you do that in college, someone will hit you."

"I almost did."

"You really hated my brother when you first met him?"

"Yes. I was far closer to Kip. Ross would complain about me partying a lot and would like not wanna leave the dorm...he was a party killer. There were several times I wanted to kill him."

"Why did you choose to live with him again?" Monica asked.

"'Cause he took care of me...he invited me to Thanksgiving at your house...at the end of the day, he was a pretty damn good friend. He always drove my ass back home. He may not have been happy about it...but he still did it. I liked that I could count on him."

"Return the favor. Chandler, you were not easy to live with in college," Monica said.

"How do you know?"

"Ross and I talked...is it true that you and Lizzie once did it in a parking lot behind a Taco Bell?" Monica asked. Chandler looked at her.

"It was a Wendy's," Chandler corrected. "He told you that?"

"Oh yeah and that he drove you home practically every night and had to listen while Kip and Gandalf would make fun of him for being younger than you guys...and also 'cause my brother was a dork. The only reason he hung out with those two was 'cause of you."

"Really?"

"Yeah...I asked him that once after he was complaining about how Kip and Gandalf had made fun of him about something and he said that he thought you were pretty cool. He hated those two...be his friend, Chandler. I know it's difficult, but..."

"Alright...he thought I was cool?"

"Well yeah...and a bit of a douche bag."

"Won't argue with that."

"But you...you got him to loosen up and enjoy college...be nice to him."

"I will," Chandler said as he leaned in to share one last kiss with Monica before sitting up to leave the apartment, "here's another thing I didn't think of."

"What?"

"Ross is on my couch. It's three am, how the hell am I going to get back into my apartment?"

"Oh...well, I mean, what did you do when you had to share a dorm with him?"

"He often drove me home."

"Always?"

"No...okay, alright...I'll do what I did in college," Chandler said as he pulled on his boxers and shirt. He shuffled his way towards Monica's door and slowly opened it. He looked back once more and ran back to kiss her goodnight before walking back to the door. She stared at the ceiling, smiling although she did feel a little sad with him being away from her. As she turned to the side, she let out a gasp to see Rachel standing in the doorway shaking her head.

"You two are ridiculous," Rachel said.

"What?"

"Was that your secret boyfriend?"

"I don't….come on…."

"Oh, G-d...okay, but can I ask?" Rachel asked walked over to the bed and lay down next to her.

"Why do you preface things like that? You're gonna ask regardless of my answer."

"Very true. Okay..who's better in bed-"

"Rachel."

"Play with me. Who is better in bed. Your secret boyfriend or….Kip."

Monica shook her, Rachel would not let up and maybe she would play.

"Oh, secret boyfriend," Monica replied.

"Secret boyfriend or that Jason guy you dated in college?"

"Secret boyfriend."

"Secret boyfriend or Pete."

"Secret boyfriend," Monica said.

"Okay, final one….secret boyfriend or Richard."

"Secret boyfriend," Monica said, knowing her face was bright red. Rachel's mouth dropped.

"Really?"

"Yeah….yeah, so much better. He's amazing. It's good. Oh, it's so good."

"Will you name him?"

"No."

"You know, I sleep in the next room. I'm being good. Last night, I had to pee and I waited until I knew he was gone to go to the bathroom so we wouldn't see each other. I am being amazing."

"I know. Thank you."

"Whatever...fine, I will let you sleep and I hope you had a good bang," Rachel said, getting up and walking towards the door.

"Hey, Rat Face Green," Monica said.

"Yeah, Monicow."

"I think I'm falling in love with him," Monica grinned. Rachel gave a little squeal.

"I have a hunch the feeling is mutual. Good night, Mon. Love you."

"Love you too….good night."

Rachel walked out and Monica lay there, still smiling. Yeah it was becoming a horribly kept secret but she didn't really care. She was definitely falling for Chandler Bing.

Thanksgiving was low key this year, that seemed to be for the best. Everyone seemed to be depressed or upset about something. Everyone but Joey, but still, low key was the way to go and it had been going well. They ate until they could no longer eat anymore and then decided to swap stories and then thanks to Rachel, the secrets of that horrible Thanksgiving were revealed. Monica had never wanted Chandler to know why he had his toe cut off. Especially because he had gotten the drugs and he had gotten hooked, Monica blamed herself, she knew she shouldn't. She knew it was ridiculous to do so, but she couldn't help it.

"Chandler, please...listen-" Monica cried when Chandler stormed out of the girl's apartment.

"I need...just leave me alone."

"I never meant for you to get hurt...I-"

"I hate this stupid holiday. Everything crappy happens on this day...I just...I wanna be alone," Chandler said walking into his apartment and shutting the door behind him. Monica wanted to cry. She was furious.

"Rachel, I didn't want you to tell that story," Monica said, walking back into the apartment.

"What? It's a funny story," Rachel said.

Monica cocked her head to the side. Rachel had been at that Thanksgiving, how had anything that happened been remotely funny?

"He developed a drug addiction after that story," Monica said, sounding stressed.

"What?" Rachel asked.

Monica wasn't sure if Rachel was just being stupid or she forgot or was she just being mean. She had called Rachel before winter break, she had told Rachel that Chandler was dying but Rachel had gone to Vail with her new friends instead.

"After that incident, they gave him pain meds. He got hooked. He almost flunked out of college," Ross said.

"That's why I don't like to tell that story. Because if I hadn't of...then he never would've-" Monica said, tears filling her eyes. "I caused him to become an addict."

"Monica, I keep telling you. You didn't cause that," Ross said.

"I did, Ross. I caused him to go off the deep end, I almost caused him to almost flunk out of school...I...he almost lost everything because I wanted to get revenge," Monica cried.

Ross got up and ran to her side and hugged her as she cried. Rachel looked alarmed as Phoebe and Joey exchanged a look.

"You cannot blame yourself for that. You did not cause him to become an addict," Ross said, staring at Monica. She knew she was being ridiculous, but it didn't matter. What if she hadn't wanted to seek revenge?

"I'll go talk to him," Rachel said, getting up.

"No, let me," Phoebe said, standing up, "I think I might get it."

Phoebe walked out of the apartment. Monica and Ross stopped hugging and Monica looked at Rachel who was looking very upset.

"Rachel, how do you not remember that Thanksgiving," Monica said.

"I do...I thought it was funny and I-"

"I also called you right before winter break and told you that he was dying. Don't you remember that? I told you to come and help and you said you were going to Vail with Barry and you also said to let him die because no one would miss him. Do you remember that?" Monica asked.

"I don't. I'm sorry," Rachel said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"He became addict because of me," Monica said.

"He did not," Ross said.

"It runs in his family. He grew up around booze and drugs," Joey said.

"I...I just….I messed everything up," Monica said.

"Messed what up?" Ross asked. Monica realized what she said and looked at Joey and Rachel.

"I'm gonna go talk to Chandler, I'll be right back," Rachel said as she walked out of the apartment. Monica let out a sigh and for the first time since this relationship started, she got nervous. What if this was too much for Chandler?

Monica began cleaning up. She thought about going to talk to Chandler but thought maybe she'd leave him alone or let him talk with Rachel and Phoebe. Ross tried to talk to her but she shook her head, she didn't wanna talk about it so while she cleaned, Ross went to join Joey on the couch and they began to watch a game. Monica kept replaying that night, over and over. It was a horrible Thanksgiving. She had wanted revenge, she had been mad. She wanted to humiliate him for calling her fat. She had never wanted to maim him.

When Joey decided to go get coffee with Phoebe and Ross fell asleep on her couch from overeating, Monica wondered if she should go next door and talk to Chandler. She left her apartment and walked into the boys apartment. Chandler's door was opened just a crack and Monica walked towards it, hearing Chandler and Rachel talking. She stood, quietly listening as Rachel admitted something to Chandler that she had always assumed. Rachel Green had had an abortion when they were sixteen.

"I had the abortion, two weeks later I cheered at a game...probably not smart of me, but I did and at that game, I punched a guy in the face after he asked if I had a penis and then I went for dinner and came back to see my car covered with peanut butter and the word COYOTE on the windshield. I knew who it was immediately, I did recognize you that day. I just...I wasn't in a good place and I shouldn't have pretended not to know who you were...but yeah, it was two weeks," Rachel said.

Monica bit her lip as she heard that. It began to make sense, that whole day made sense. Chandler had been sitting with his friends and Nancy. Rachel had punched Tyler in the face and Chandler was pissed so he had asked her and Ross where Rachel's car was. She remembered that. She remembered Rachel being in absolute hysterics the next morning. She started to feel nauseous. She put her hand on the doorknob to enter but instead froze and continued to listen as Rachel continue to confide in Chandler.

"...Your comments...even at Thanksgiving, hurt me. You said once that looking at me, you could tell I was dead inside. It killed me when you said that...I know you didn't know and your friend Tyler didn't know but...it still hurt," Rachel said.

It all clicked for Monica. That's why Rachel always said such awful things about Chandler, why she had said that she didn't care if he died. She had encouraged Monica getting revenge on Chandler when really she wanted revenge for herself. Rachel had been far angrier than Monica had ever been at Chandler. Yes, Chandler had called her fat but Chandler had unknowingly cut Rachel so deeply that of course she would not want have wanted to spend her winter break taking care of him.

"...it's my fault. I lied," Rachel continued as Monica leaned in, still listening, "...Maybe I didn't forsee everything that would happen but I wanted revenge on you and I was mad you called Monica fat but I was even more mad about what you did to me so I pushed for her to humiliate you. I didn't want her to maim you and I really didn't think you'd end up with a drug problem...but I felt so responsible. I did and then when she called and left messages and said you got hooked on the pain killers they gave and...I just felt so bad. It was my fault. It's why I ended my friendship with Monica...I'm so sorry."

Monica stood frozen to her spot. She had to control herself from crying. She could hear the pain in her friend's voice. She knew she should either leave or make herself known but she could not move.

"Please, please take care of yourself," Rachel said, "keep being healthy and...and take care of Monica too. She didn't lose two hundred and forty pounds in a year through diet and exercise. I used to bully her too like Nancy and...I know she didn't and...

"Rachel?" Monica opened the door and was standing in the doorway of Chandler's room. Chandler and Rachel looked at her, tears streaming down Rachel's face. Monica needed to walk in, she could no longer just stand there listening. Rachel immediately got up and walked towards Monica, hugging her. Monica hugged back. "We will talk later," Monica whispered.

"Twinkies?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Monica said, hugging her again. Rachel walked out and Monica lay down beside Chandler on his bed.

"How much did you hear?" Chandler asked.

"Enough...she knew? Monica asked even though she had always figured as such.

"Well, yeah...I didn't tell her I caught you."

"Thanks. G-d, that night was awful."

"I know. I was a horrible person back then and you know that the drugs and stuff, that's not your fault...I don't ever want you taking blame for that. I love you, Mon."

"What?" Monica asked, a little surprised. She wasn't sure he had ever used those three words together at least not since Lizzie had responded to his, "I love you" with "oh, crap."

"Um...nothing?"

"You love me?"

"No."

"You do...you love me."

"Maybe."

"You love me?" Monica asked.

"There might be that possibility," Chandler said.

"Good. 'Cause I love you too."

"Good," Chandler said as he leaned in. The two shared yet another deep kiss. Monica knew she and Rachel would have to talk but the fact that Chandler had said he loved her, made her so happy. He really loved her. This was not going to end because he loved her.

That night, Monica told Chandler that she was going to talk to Rachel and she might have to forgo sleeping over that night which he said he was fine with because he needed to do some things but she didn't question what. After Phoebe had gone home and the boys retreated back to their apartment, Monica grabbed the box of Twinkies and headed into Rachel's room. She sat next to her as they dug into the box.

"Chandler caught me," Monica said.

"What?"

"That Thanksgiving, I was making myself throw up and he caught me."

Rachel looked at her, concerned.

"Mon. See, that's why I wasn't pleased when you lost all that weight. It wasn't because I was jealous. It's 'cause I'm not an idiot."

"I know and why didn't you tell me about the abortion?"

"I was embarrassed and at that time, you were talking about how bad sex was and….I was embarrassed and that's why what Chandler did to my car upset me so much. Even though he didn't know, it still-"

"That's why you didn't care if he died when I called you to tell you I thought he was dying, right? That's why you hated him so much."

"Yeah...I hated him because he said all these awful things to me and in turn, I said probably worse things, which probably wasn't fair because what did he know...but I couldn't just be mad at Chip so I was angry at Chandler. It was just easier and I didn't think we'd be friends years later. I just wanted to take out my anger on someone and he was a good choice at the time...or at least I thought he was but it was bad...it was so bad and I got pregnant and had an abortion. Ross doesn't know. Please don't tell him."

"I won't, oh, Rach….I am so sorry."

"Me too. I hope that you think I'm better friend to you now."

"Oh, of course."

"And I hope I didn't mess things up with your secret boyfriend," Rachel said, grinning.

"No. No...in fact...my secret boyfriend said that he loved me."

"He said that?" Rachel asked, her eyes widening. Monica knew she probably just revealed everything but she couldn't hold back, she needed to tell someone.

"Yes."

"He said those three words together?"

"Yep."

"He didn't like explode or run out of the room?"

"He did try to deny he said it at first."

"Of course he did."

"But no, he said it….those three words."

"Oh, Mon. That's huge."

"I know and it wasn't like how he does that thing where he goes, 'I love her, she's the one...I love her'...he said, 'I love you, Mon' just like it rolled off his tongue."

"Oh, that is incredible. I'll keep it quiet because we both know Secret Boyfriend scares easily."

"Secret Boyfriend is getting better though."

"Good and one more thing...seriously... as much as we talk about Chandler and his issues and how we want him to take care of himself, same for you. I know you've done it since...the throwing up thing."

"Rachel, I haven't-"

"Monica."

"Okay, I did do it after Chandler got back from Yemen," Monica admitted.

"Please, stop….don't do it….I don't know….I just it's...your friendship means so much to me and this group, this your group. You hold us all together and now hopefully, your secret boyfriend….and myself….can return the favor and hold you together."

"Always."

Monica started to cry and began to hug Rachel who was crying as well. This friendship meant the world to her, everything about it and she always knew that Rachel was someone worth being friends with, despite those times when she strayed. She always came back.

Monica was sitting on the orange couch, drinking coffee and reading, enjoying her moments of peace. Phoebe was visiting with some old friends of hers, Joey had a date, Ross was somewhere and Chandler had mentioned something about running an errand with Rachel but she didn't pay attention. She rarely had a moment to herself so she was enjoying it when suddenly a bunch of photos were dropped onto Monica's lap. She looked up as Rachel and Chandler sat on either side of her, both smiling.

"Where the hell have you two been? I was about to start getting worried," Monica said, lying a little, as she picked up the photos.

"Look at the photos," Rachel said.

Monica did. As she looked through each one, her mouth dropped as she recognized the girl in the photos. She looked back and forth between Chandler and Rachel who were both grinning.

"Nancy's fat?" Monica asked.

"Huge," Rachel said. "She's bigger than you ever were."

"Oh, oh I'm so happy," Monica squealed as she and Rachel hugged. Nancy was bigger than she ever had been, she would have to show these pictures to Ellie and Laurie.

"I knew you'd be happy. Chandler doesn't get it," Rachel said.

"I know. He's a boy...wait, wait...her car...what did you two do? How did you even find her house?" Monica asked.

"I know people," Chandler said.

"Wow...scary. You two really are scary," Monica said. While she loved that Rachel and Chandler were now very close, there was a part of her that made her nervous but not because she thought anything romantic would ever happen between the two but because she knew the kind of pranks the two of them were capable of playing on their own and together, they'd make a terrifying team.

"I keep saying...we should've been better friends at camp," Chandler said.

"You filled her bed with peanut butter," Monica said.

"'Cause Rachel dropped a girl's toothbrush in the toilet." Chandler said.

"What?" Monica asked, looking over at Rachel. Rachel had never mentioned that. She just mentioned that a kid filled her bed with peanut butter but never mentioned if something prompted it.

"No, I didn't. I never did that...who said I did that?" Rachel asked.

"Lizzie said you did," Chandler said.

"Oh...ohhh...okay, Chandler...alright, I gotta come clean, I know you liked that girl but she was a bitch," Rachel said.

"She wasn't," Chandler argued. "She was very nice to me."

"'Cause she loved you...I didn't drop a toothbrush in the toilet. Lizzie did and told the girl whose toothbrush it was that I did it...she put all the blame on me and then she told you 'cause she knew you'd do something because she hated me and you liked her," Rachel said.

"You know, I hated her too," Monica said. "First, she let you get away with way too much crap and second...she was the one that made that comment that I got you hooked on drugs."

"She was upset," Chandler said.

"And you told her I was bulimic," Monica said.

"You told her that?" Rachel asked.

"Wait...I-what-how do you know I told her that?" Chandler asked.

"You just admitted it," Monica grinned, "and...and when we were staying at your house, helping you through your first set of withdrawals, every time I went to the bathroom, she was around and we were talking one night about you and she said you said it...and I didn't wanna believe it."

"I was on drugs," Chandler said.

"I don't care," Monica replied.

"I apologize and...wait, Rach, you really didn't drop someone's toothbrush in the toilet?" Chandler asked.

"No. I never did that. Lizzie hated me."

"You were mean," Chandler said.

"I understand that...but I didn't do anything to anyone's toothbrush," Rachel said.

"You really were an ass when you were younger," Monica said looking at Chandler as she gently patted his leg.

"I know, I know," Chandler said. "But I hope I'm not now."

"No, you're good," Monica said before looking back at the pictures, "I can't believe she's fat."

Rachel laughed as she and Monica continued glancing through them. Rachel began pointing out random things about Nancy such as her eighty seven year old husband and it just amazed Monica. She knew she shouldn't feel happy about Nancy's downfall but she just could not help it. She loved that she looked better than Nancy, she was happier than Nancy. The girl who had made her life truly miserable, the one whom she always thought was the reason Rachel could never be friends in public with Monica was now unhappy and according to Rachel, pretty much the same.

That night, Monica and Chandler were once again laying side by side in Monica's bedroom. They were kissing, touching each other. She loved when he would run his fingers through her hair, gently kissing her head.

"So you're really happy Nancy is fat?" Chandler asked.

"Well….yes. She was awful to me. I've met your friend, Tyler. He's a good guy. It's hard for me to believe those two are actually related."

"Oh, he hates her. I told him that apparently this girl was a bully in high school and he said he completely believed it. He was pissed that day. Rachel punched him in the face and…"

"You didn't tell Tyler that Rachel had an abortion two weeks before did you?"

"No. No and I won't."

"We talked, Rachel and I….I understand that day so much clearer now and why she was so upset and why she hated you so much."

"I hate that I said all that stuff to her. I wish I had known...I wish I could take it all back," Chandler said.

"I know you do...but she loves you to pieces now."

"Yeah, she's alright," Chandler joked.

"She also knows about the throwing up thing."

"I figured she did," Chandler said.

"When I first lost all that weight, I thought she was just jealous."

"I don't think she was jealous."

"I don't think that anymore either."

"So it's me, Rachel and Ross and we're the only ones who know."

"Yeah. I'll probably tell Phoebe….and maybe Joey although, I don't know."

"You could tell Joey," Chandler said.

"Would he be sensitive to it? I love Joey, you know that but-"

"The man grew up surrounded by women. He's got seven sisters and he thinks of you three girls as three more sisters….he'll be sensitive."

"Okay although, if he really does think of me, Rachel and Phoebe as his sisters….that kinda makes his relationship with Phoebe sound like incest," Monica mused. Chandler had finally admitted during one of their late night sessions, that Phoebe and Joey had a bit of a friends with benefits relationship, one that made her very happy.

"Yeah, true."

"So….do you we think we should start telling them? About us?" Monica asked.

"I don't know. Joey would be thrilled."

"And Rachel kinda knows. I mean, I'm referring to you as my secret boyfriend but I think she knows."

"I think she knows too. In fact, when I took her to see Nancy today, she pretended like I was her husband and put on this whole act to get to Nancy and she told Nancy that you lost weight and that you were dating a guy whose father was a drag queen," Chandler said which made Monica laugh. While she loved the pictures, she did wish they had recorded their interaction with Nancy. She would have watched it happily.

"She knows."

"I haven't confirmed anything," Chandler said.

"Neither have I."

"So then….let them figure it out their own. The way Joey did. I don't want to go through the whole, let's sit them down and talk thing and I especially don't want to do that with Ross. So let them figure it out and we'll explain it when they do and with Rachel, we just won't deny it with her anymore."

"Okay, I like that idea," Monica said as she kissed him as he held her closer. They continued to exchange kisses until it was time for Chandler to sneak back into his apartment. After he left, she began to imagine what it would be like for everything to be out in the open, for everyone to finally know and Chandler wouldn't have to sneak back into his apartment, he could spend the night and she could wake up in his arms.