YES PEOPLE, I AM ALIVE! AND I COME BEARING A MASS UPDATE TO MAKE UP FOR THE WAIT!
I have had a really, REALLY bad case of luck for a full month. Starting with the car finally giving up the ghost and ending with my mother being in and out of the hospital. On the plus side, my muse has gotten the swift kick in the ass it needed to update some of the older fics. Here's to hoping the rest of the month is better after the mess the last was.
Naruto was twitching.
"Let me get this straight. They have ruins, in Johto, that have strange Pokémon inside them that look like letters."
"Yup," said Mamoru.
"And it just so happens to be close to the Bellsprout Tower and the gym that specializes in flying-types."
"Uh-huh."
"Right, when's the first flight out?"
"Fly yourself," said Mamoru. He was working on his tricks.
"I would, but I haven't got a flying type on me, and I just sent back Trapper and Tsuki-chan," deadpanned Naruto.
"Didn't you say your teacher had a flying one?"
Naruto blinked.
"I actually forgot about that. He's actually the only ghost type I mind being around..." said Naruto.
Naruto made a call and had Drifter switched out for Bones. However, he also got an extra.
"So let me get this straight. Tsunade-baa-san said you're banned from active missions for a month?" said Naruto openly amused. Obito looked at him unrepentant.
"Apparently I played one too many pranks during my downtime, so when she visited the house to deliver an ultimatum and saw you were switching out your team, she told me I either take a long term mission or come here."
"What in the name of the Sage did you do to piss her off that bad?"
"There's also the fact that they were planning to send someone to spar with you so they can be sure you're not lacking in training. I'm bored!" said Obito.
"Well I could use an able assistant to help me in the ruins," said Naruto.
"What about me?" asked Mamoru amused.
"You're our guide," said Naruto deadpan.
"Huh, so this is Johto. Neat."
"That's only because the Matriarch didn't give you an impossible mission like she did Naruto," said Mamoru.
"Impossible mission?" said Obito.
"I have to retrieve a Silver Wing from Lugia in order to prove I'm capable of leading the Uzumaki clan. Apparently it was their way of choosing candidates for Clan head," said Naruto.
Because the Uzumaki's patron Legendary was Lugia, those who had a chance to lead the clan had to retrieve a small part of his wing. Usually a piece that had been shed. And since the Uzumaki scattered in Naruto's time, he had to get the wing in order to be taken seriously at all.
"So where exactly are we going anyway?"
"Ruins of Alph. Once I'm done there I'll swing by the gym and Sprout Tower."
"Why aren't you hitting Professor Elm's lab first?"
"Why bother? Besides, it would take me two days to get to the Ruins and chances are we could just call him. Isn't this the time of year for new Pokémon trainers anyway?"
"Huh. Didn't even notice that."
"To the crumbly old ruins guaranteed to give us all headaches!" said Naruto. The other two snickered.
"Got anything yet?" yawned Obito. They had been at this for two weeks.
"These damn letters keep changing! Wait a minute..."
Naruto leaned in closer with his light. The 'O' blinked at him.
"GAH! No wonder I haven't made any headway! This whole wall is covered in Unown!"
"What are Unown?" asked Mamoru. He was as bored as Obito looked.
"They're these weird Pokémon that look like letters. There's twenty-six in all and the ancients had this annoying habit of using them to leave messages," explained Naruto. He was starting to develop a sincere dislike for them after two weeks of trying to decrypt the runes. Now that he knew what he was dealing with, this should be much easier.
"FINALLY! I think I got it!"
"Well what's it say?" asked Obito.
"'Our Words Shall Remain Here For The Ages,'" said Naruto, reading the first one.
'Thus, We Shall Erect A Pokémon Statue Outside.'
'They Possess Great Insight And Refuse the Outside World.'
'We Humans Must Learn To Walk In Harmony With Them. We Depart For Their Sakes.'
"That's it?" said Obito. Two weeks of boring work, with the only excitement being the random traps...and that was it?!
"Not all archeology is exciting. Most of it's dead boring. Hell, the fossil hunt I went on with a bunch of bone collectors nearly put me to sleep! Now that I've figured out what the hell these messages are saying, we can explore more of the ruins."
"No way. Not a chance in Enma's fiery hell. We are going to the town so you can battle, and then I'll beat the snot out of you for forcing me to endure this snooze fest. I don't know how you can stand it!"
"Try listening to Iruka-sensei drone on and on about the history of the Elemental Countries, then we'll see what's boring," deadpanned Naruto.
"Either way we're challenging Violet City's gym. Who's the leader there?"
"Falkner. Flying-type specialist," said Mamoru. He had a guide book out that he had bought in the city when he realized how boring it was going to be.
"Flying type. Joy," said Naruto grimacing.
"You know what? I'm so bored I might challenge this guy myself!" said Obito.
"Think Granny will let you go on the gym battle route?"
"I think she'll pay me for it. Remember, she said I wasn't to return for a month," said Obito grinning.
"Sweet. Hey Mamoru, what do you say we prank the crap out of the Johto regions?" asked Naruto.
Mamoru smirked.
"I'm an Uzumaki. Pranks are our bread and butter," he replied.
"The challengers are Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Obito! Only one trainer may battle at a time! Only the challenger may switch out!"
"Go, Jotei!"
The Nidoqueen Naruto had captured in the Safari Zone came out with a roar. Obito grimaced behind Naruto. That Pokémon had been a menace from day one!
"A Nidoqueen huh? Kinda overkill for the first gym don't you think?" said Falkner.
"Considering I've never used her in battle before this point, so I don't really know how she'll act around me, not really," said Naruto.
"In that case...go, Pidgeot!"
If this kid wasn't holding back, then neither would he.
Obito sighed, before he looked at the Ref.
"Can I get my battle scheduled for two days from now? Otherwise I'll just feel cheated," he asked.
The Ref nodded.
"Jotei, use Iron Tail on Pidgeot!" said Naruto gleefully.
The Nidoqueen sniffed at him, but she did as he asked. For a trainer, he wasn't entirely bad. She just wasn't used to him yet.
The tail narrowly missed the flying Pokémon.
"Pidgeot, whirlwind!"
Massive gusts of wind hit the Nidoqueen. As one of the side effects of whirlwind, she was forcibly shifted out for another Pokémon. Ironically enough it was one of the Pokémon Jiraiya had given Naruto when he deemed regaining their loyalty a lost cause.
Drifter.
"What is that?"
"Drifter, who's a Drifblim. Sorry about that girl, but he kinda forced you out," said Naruto. Drifter crooned in response. She didn't mind Naruto, who was by far infinitely more tolerable than Jiraiya was.
Falkner got over his shock at the odd Pokémon.
"Pidgeot, use Aerial Ace!"
"Drifter, use Gust!"
Seeing Falkner's look of shock, his Pidgeot narrowly avoided the blast.
Naruto knew better than to attack with any of Drifter's ghost moves. They wouldn't work anyway because of the fact Pidgeot was a normal type.
"Drifter, Hail!"
Basketball-sized hail began to rain down. Sure, Drifter took a little damage, but so did the Pidgeot. Naruto kept having Drifter send Pidgeot into the hailstones.
Eventually Falkner called Pidgeot back, not wanting his partner to suffer any more blasts.
"Pidgeot is unable to battle!"
"Go, Pidgeotto!" said Falkner.
"Return, Drifter! Go, Jotei!"
The Nidoqueen was more than a little irritated her fight came up short.
She was raring to go now.
"Spike Cannon, Jotei!"
Pidgeotto did it's best, but it still got nicked by two or three of the blasts. Because Jotei's ability was Poison Point, the bird got a minute amount of poison in it's bloodstream.
"Pidgeotto, use Aerial Ace!"
"Jotei, Iron Tail!"
Jotei slammed her tail into the bird Pokémon as it came in for an attack.
"Pidgeotto!" cried Falkner.
"Jotei, Ice Punch!"
The Nidoqueen slammed a fist of ice into the bird Pokémon, freezing it instantly.
"Pidgeotto is unable to battle! Winner is Uzumaki Naruto!"
Naruto rummaged through his bag and found an Ice Heal. He handed it to Falkner who used it on Pidgeotto.
"Sorry about that. Maybe I should get some new Pokémon if they're this much overkill," said Naruto sheepishly.
"Ya think?" said Obito sarcastically.
"You know most people tend to only take one of their Pokémon when they go to a new region and then catch all the native ones when they do a new gym challenge," said Mamoru idly.
"And it wouldn't have killed you to inform me of that before we left!" said Naruto.
"You know what this means, don't you Naruto?" said Obito.
"Road trip to the Pokémon Center?" said Naruto.
"Yup!"
"So let me get this straight. You want to transfer most of your team back home because they're too strong?" said Tsunade.
"Yeah. We damn near killed this guy's team and he uses them to test out beginners. Someone neglected to tell me it was customary to take only one or two of your usual team and simply catch the native ones once you enter a new region," replied Naruto, glaring at Mamoru.
"You didn't ask," said Mamoru.
"And would it have killed you to tell me that when I told you we were heading for the Ruins of Alph?!"
Mamoru grinned at him.
"Is he an Uzumaki of the past?" she asked dryly.
"Yup."
"There's your reason why. Unless it's a prank or something equally worth noting, he probably didn't even remember," said Tsunade rolling her eyes.
"So can you make sure someone takes care of the team?"
"Actually there's a third option. Seems someone's finally realized that the last member of the main line Uzumaki is the one writing all these books. We've had an influx of survivors from Uzushio for several months now. We're just waiting for you to claim your heritage before we open up the clan estates."
Naruto blinked.
"Okay, that just means it should be open in a few months. I found out that anyone from the main line has to retrieve a Silver Wing in order to be considered as a Clan head. Lugia has been known to live in the Johto region, and with my luck I'll eventually run into it," said Naruto.
"Well until you get a Silver Wing and make sure to leave a blood sample on it so we can verify it's yours, they're staying in the Uchiha estate. Sasuke's been staying in your house because the fan girl problem has only gotten worse."
"So long as he feeds them, he's free to hide there," said Naruto with a laugh.
"He's taken over your garden," said Tsunade with equal amusement.
"Again, so long as he keeps it up and feeds the Pokémon, I don't care. By the way, are you good with Obito joining me around Johto?"
"Keep him there! Do you have any idea how much trouble he's caused? He damn near started a WAR with Kiri!"
"Okay, how in the Sage did you pull that off?" asked Naruto.
"Zabuza visited with the new Mizukage. She got caught in a village-wide prank and nearly melted me with lava," said Obito blandly.
"Ah. Did Zabuza at least have a laugh?"
Obito smirked.
"She damn near gelded him for laughing at the feathers and syrup in her hair."
"Bet Haku got a kick out of that," snickered Naruto.
"Anyway, be sure to keep sending back supplies. We've almost completely reverse-engineered those machines you sent back, and chances are the civilians will be able to have Pokémon of their own...though the ranking exams will still be restricted to shinobi for the time being. At least until we have a better understanding and are able to improve on those healing devices. Keep that damn Uchiha idiot out of the village for a while, otherwise I'll have to strangle him," said Tsunade.
"Can you at least put me on a long-term assignment under Naruto's command?"
"Already did, idiot."
"I'll send the team back."
"And I'll give Naruto someone to spar with so he doesn't fall too far behind," said Obito with a chirp. Chances were he could switch with Hinata every other region.
Apparently Tsunade had the same thought.
"Once you leave Johto, let me know so I can send Hinata with you. The amount of pining she's been doing is getting on my nerves," said Tsunade deadpan.
Soon Naruto transferred all but Shifter and Gabby back home. And then he took out the Growlithe egg he had gotten from the Inuzuka. Now seemed like the perfect time to raise his Inuzuka partner.
Obito transferred all but his Combusken back, and then took out his own egg, a belated birthday present from Kakashi. It was a Houndour, one of Kakashi's pack.
"So now that you two have your team, where to next? I mean, once Obito challenges Falkner anyway," asked Mamoru.
"We're doing a Gym crawl, you tell us," said Naruto flatly.
"Well it's going to take a day or two before Falkner's ready to battle again...so let's hit Sprout Tower," said Mamoru, looking at the guide book.
"Lead on!"