BNHA is not mine, only the characters that are my own.

WARNING! GRAPHIC AND VERY DARK THEMES IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Chapter 38: Shouldn't Have Saved Me

Aizawa's P.O.V

I feel my face twitch in slight discomfort before my eyes open.

A dark abyss stares back at me and I'm almost convinced that I did not open my eyes yet.

After blinking twice, I confirm that I'm actually awake and warily sit up.

The surface underneath of me shifts and I jolt slightly as I look down. I'm shocked to see that even the ground is an infinite blackness.

I slide my hand along the darkness and am startled by the sudden ripples this causes.

Water. I'm laying in water.

"Shota?"

My head snaps up at the call of my name.

The pulse in my throat thumps painfully against my skin and I gulp as I look around in fear.

I am not one to get rattled easily, but I am scared in this moment.

I am in an unfamiliar place, laying on some kind of flooring that is covered in an inch of water, as a voice calls out my name, with no weapon to defend myself.

Scared would be an understatement for how I'm feeling.

"I'm here, Shota,"

Getting to my feet, I spin around, looking up, down, left, right, but see just more darkness.

I don't dare call out to the voice.

I don't know the voice and I am not keen on finding out who it belongs to.

What I want to know is where I am.

"Shota," I hear softly sighed into my ear as a hand places itself on my shoulder.

I spin on the balls of my feet, bringing my fist up to hit the person who's been calling for me.

My anticipation for a fight is halted, and I feel my knees threaten to buckle as I gaze at the person in front of me.

Heart shattering almost instantly as I see those warm brown eyes and soft blonde hair.

I can feel a small sting building in my eyes as my breath falters.

"Suki?" I breathe and she offers me a small smile, but I see her own eyes starting to tear up.

"Shota," she chokes up before covering her mouth, tears sliding down her rosy cheeks with ease and I can't take it anymore.

I grab her free hand as I pull her forward and hold onto her with all of my might.

She sobs into my chest and I lean down to kiss the crown of her head, "It's okay, Suki, I'm here," I coo soothingly as I stroke her back.

"Oh my God, Shota, I was...so scared...it's so lonely here," she cries, her hands holding onto my shirt for dear life and I bite my bottom lip to keep myself from crying.

Don't let go of her. She needs you right now. You can't break down on her now.

She's here.

She's actually here.

But where are we?

And why?

"Suki..." I start hesitantly as I start to think clearly again.

"Where...exactly ARE we?" I ask and she stills for a minute in my arms.

Everything stops.

Her crying, the shaking, even her breathing.

I cast my gaze down at her, but she refuses to look up at me, keeping her face burried in my shirt.

"S-suki?" I call, but before I could get a response, I hear another voice ring out in the abyss.

"DAD!!!!"

My head snaps over to the left and I see Chiharu laying down in the water, but she isn't relaxed like I was.

She looks like she's struggling.

"Chi?"

That's when I see the black, shapeless ribbon like shadows that are coiled around her arms, legs, ankles, and even the back of her neck.

All of them are pulling her into the water, trapping her there, and she is fighting against them to at least keep her head above water.

"HELP ME!!!" she cries as she stretches her hand out in my direction.

I have flashbacks of her doing this when the villains attacked USJ.

All of the blood.

Chi, rushing after me to buy me some time with the villains.

My broken bones.

I even remember Chi being forced to watch Nomu beat me.

I feel sick to my stomach and I can't stand there anymore.

"Chi!" I shout as I try to take a step towards her, but am stopped when I feel a pair of hands grip my shirt tighter.

I turn to see Suki giving me a pleading look.

"Don't leave me again, Shota. Please! I don't want to be alone anymore!"

My eyes widen at Suki's words and I shake my head, "But, Suki, Chi needs me. I have to go save her,"

She shakes her head as she cups both of my cheeks in her hands.

"Chi is fine, I promise. Please," she begs me as she brings my head down a bit to press our foreheads together, "I can't lose you again,"

Drip.

Drip, drip.

I let out a painful sigh, tears falling from my eyes as I look into hers, seeing nothing but love in them, but I shake my head.

This is wrong.

Suki would never tell me to chose her over Chiharu.

I reach up to take her hands and pull them off of my face.

She looks terrified as she watches me and I sniffle as I say, "I'm sorry, Suki,"

"Don't leave me," she begs and I'm almost tempted to give in, but thankfully Chiharu's voice pulls me back to my senses.

"DAD!! HELP ME!! PLEASE!!!"

"Goodbye, Suki," I say, filled with the utmost guilt as I drop her hands and turn around.

I hear her calling out to me, but I don't turn back.

I can't.

Chiharu needs me.

She needs me.

"Chi!!" I yell as I run to her side.

The water splashes after every step I take, the ripples creating small waves that make their way to Chiharu.

Her legs are already swallowed by the dark water, but her torso is still above it.

The ribbons have cut deep into her skin, but they aren't making her bleed.

I see that she has pink marks where they are holding onto her, but they look closer to indentation marks.

It's as if they are only giving her these marks because she keeps struggling.

The waves that my footsteps caused have made it to her and they start to wash over her face.

She coughs, reeling back and away from them in hopes of getting air to stay in her lungs.

Unfortunately, just like her attempts to escape, the black ribbons hold her there, effectively waterboarding her.

I internally curse to myself, but I can't slow down to calm the waves. If I slow down, she's going to be completely swallowed by the dark water.

"Hold on, Chi! Hold your breath!" I order, but she keeps squirming and gasping for breath.

Her strained cries and sinking form drive me to run harder, but with every step I take, I feel like she's getting further away.

This place is messing with my head, I swear.

I watch as more of the ribbon shadows emerge from the water and pull her in.

"No," I say to myself when I see Chiharu sink further into the abyss, "No!" I shout when Chiharu lets her body go limp.

She's letting it take her.

"CHI!!" I shout, jumping the remaining distance as her body is quickly dragged down and is submerged.

As I hit the water again, I land on the ground the water shallow once more, just like when I woke up.

I get up to drag my hand against the floor, but don't feel a part where the water dips lower.

"No! No!"

I slam my fist against the water, forcing the water to shoot up and splash everywhere.

My face, clothes, and droplets scatter around, causing ripples to erupt all around me.

My breathing is erratic as I aimlessly feel around the water, hopelessly feeling for the possible huge drop in the landscape.

Giggling can be heard from behind me and I stop what I am doing.

The giggling increases and I peer over my shoulder to see Suki laughing hysterically, tears forming from the boistrous laughter.

I glare at her, no longer caring about my search, as I watch the woman that I love literally cackle at my pain.

"You're laughing?" I point out and she shakes her head mockingly at me.

She calms herself down in a matter of a second as she gives me a scrutinizing glare.

"You were too late," she simply states with a sinister grin on her face and I know that it isn't my Suki anymore.

I was skeptical, but there's no mistaking it now.

Grinding my teeth in the process, I get to my feet as I rush to her, my anger consuming me.

I'm seeing red as I blindly run to her, not even bothering to assess the situation properly.

Before I know it, I'm only a step away from her, but she just smiles cunningly at me as she side steps me at the last second.

My eyes widen as I lose my footing as well, stretching my arms out to catch myself before I land face first in the water.

What I expect is to land in shallow water, but I am thrown for a loop when I actually plunge into the water.

Luckily, I take a breath as a reflex, but when I open my eyes and see water completely surrounding me, I'm shocked.

How? The water was shallow just a second ago.

Before I can properly think about the conundrum I am in, I swim towards the surface.

Expecting to resurface back into the dark room I was in, I'm caught off gaurd by seeing a blue sky.

It's daylight and cloudy, but I seem to be in the middle of nowhere until I look to my left, seeing a pier in the distance.

I swim towards the end of the pier, the cold water sending a chill down my spine.

The cold air only gets worse when I climb onto the pier, a breeze brushing my now wet form.

I shiver as I try to shake off the feeling before looking around.

There's no noise, no sign of life, just a vast space in this calm and serene area.

That is, until I step towards the beginning of the dock and I see the read on for the vacancy.

Corpses litter the ground, blood is splattered around in both puddles and droplets, resembling a Jackson Pollock painting.

I feel my stomach threaten to vomit as I take in the sight. I cover my mouth as I try to make sense of it.

Why am I seeing this?

This is horrible.

My head turns left, seeing more bodies scattered about, but when I turn my head to the right is when I finally realize where I am.

A brick wall, a woman with blonde hair and brown eyes looking petrified, frozen is place, lying on the ground permenantly.

"I'm back here?" I say, baffled and heart broken all over again.

I thought these nightmares were over?

I guess I spoke too soon.

"Why did you save me?"

Turning around at the sudden voice, I see Chiharu, but she's three years old again.

She looks upset, a small pout playing at her bottom lip as her gaze burns a hole in my head.

"Chi...what are you-"

"WHY?!" she screams before running forward and kicking my shin.

I cry out in pain as I am brought to my knees at the sudden hit.

Before I can scold her, she smacks my cheek.

"Chi!" I snap, but she just strikes the other side.

"WHY DID YOU SAVE ME?! YOU SHOULD'VE GONE BACK FOR MOMMY!"

I raise my hand to try and grab hers, but they keep escaping my grasp and either slap, scratch, or jab at my face, "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAVE MOMMY! WHY ME?!"

I can't believe my ears as I listen to her protests.

She...she wanted me to save, Suki?

"I-I wanted to save you both!" I shout desperately, but Chiharu isn't having any of it.

"NO! IF YOU HAD SAVED MOMMY THEN I WOULDN'T BE SAD! I WOULDN'T HAVE HURT LIKE I DID! YOU MADE ME SUFFER BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO LATE!"

Tears fall freely down my face and I don't even care.

This is clearly some kind of dream or hallucination, so I don't even worry about looking strong for Chiharu.

Well, at least not for dream Chiharu.

I feel my whole body give under her attacks, but I keep begging her to stop.

I don't push her away, I don't try to grab her anymore, I want this hate out of her system.

I want to let her hate me for a moment.

I deserve it.

I took her youth away, her mother away, and gave her a life filled with years of pain and confusion.

When her strikes stop is when I finally look up, my face surely red and eyes puffy at this point.

I watch Chiharu take off running and that's when I get worried.

I already lost her to the abyss, I can't let her slip away from me again.

"Chi, wait!" I beg, but she ignores me as she rushes towards the back of the brick building.

She rounds the corner and I follow closely behind.

I watch as she opens a door before quickly shutting it.

Surprised by her strength, but I push through as I open the same door.

The moment I step inside is when I freze in place, the door closing softly behind me.

I'm in my house, Chiharu's bathroom to be more specific, and I'm staring down at an all too familiar bloody knife.

"No," I plead, vision blurrying at the sight of my ten year old daughter with her head slumped to the side of the tub.

Her eyes are glossy, dazed, and sad as she looks back at me.

"You shouldn't have saved me," she says, voice broken and raspy.

That's when her eyes finally cloud over, an indication of death. I take a couple of steps back, feeling my legs shake as my back hits the wall.

"No, no, Chi, please," I say, stretching my arm out, trying to keep the shaking to a minimum, but my body won't let me go to her.

My legs aren't listening to me.

I want to be with her.

I want to sit with her.

Listen to me, damn it!!

A pair of hands cover my eyes and I hear a voice whisper in my ear, "If you had saved me instead, you wouldn't have had to see that,"

That's the final straw for me.

I completely break down.

My body collapses to the floor and I openly weep as I look at my daughters dead form.

A wave of guilt rushes over me as I look back on our lives.

The amount of hurt I never noticed that she carried. The years of torment she went through, and all of those days that she had to pick me up, but I could never do the same for her.

She truly was alone for her mourning.

I'm sorry, Chi.

I'm so sorry, Suki.

You both are my world.

I cover my face, unable to look at her or Suki staring down at me deviously, as my body slumps to the side.

That's when I open my eyes and find myself staring at my clock which reads four in the morning.

I blink, my eyelashes wet and making the top of my cheeks damp as I get a bearing of my surroundings.

Sitting up, I see that I'm in my bedroom, I see the family picture on my nightstand and the room just as I left it.

Messy.

I take a couple of deep breaths, wiping away my tears as I sniffle.

A dream.

Everything that I just saw was nothing more than a dream.

I jump as I hear the phone ring loudly, groaning at myself for being startled by my own phone.

Grabbing it with unsteady hands, I press the call button and bark into the phone, "What?"

"Shota, it's Hizashi,"

I groan as I lay back down, covering my eyes with my free hand, "Hizashi, it's four in the morning, can't this wait?"

"It's about Chi,"

That gets my attention and I drop my hand as my eyebrows furrow in confusion, "What's wrong with her?"

"Shota...she's gone,"

There's a pause as he waits for my response and I feel my previous fear take over me again, "What do you mean?"

He sighs as he goes on, "She's missing,"

A/N

Thank you for reading, leave a review if you'd like and I'll see you guys next week with a new chapter!!!~