Thanks so much to all those who reviewed the last chapter. I'm not that happy with this next chapter, but wanted to get it out there before too long a gap. Please read and review. It makes my day when I hear from you!

Chapter 37

Just rewards

I woke up the next morning at first feeling disorientated, before it dawned on me that I was back home and then of course all the other things that sleep had momentarily removed from me came flooding back in. It took me all my strength not to just burst into tears as I thought again of Matt and his betrayal and experienced a tangible physical pain in my stomach. I sighed as I also remembered Darry's promise that we would talk about my punishment that day. I knew he had every right to be mad at me. I knew it had been stupid to go off on my own like that in a strange place without anyone's permission. With hindsight I really couldn't believe that I had ever even contemplated doing what I did, but at the time seeing Matt was the all-encompassing thought and any sensible objections to the plan were easily side-lined. I knew Darry was gonna have a lot to say about my still being in touch with Matt all that time as well. I had really let him down big-time and wouldn't be surprised if he never trusted me again. Well, that was the last time I would let a boy make me behave so stupidly. I was never gonna trust another boy as long as I lived, so that should make Darry happy at least. No more worries about dating rules anymore.

It was already 6.00 and I had school that day so I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom. By the time I was ready I could hear my brothers setting about their usual morning business. Pony was just heading to the bathroom when I ventured out of my room to get some breakfast.

"Hey Bex, welcome back, you'd already gone to bed when I got back last night."

I smiled at my brother "Hey Pony, yeah I was pretty exhausted. I don't know how much Darry and Soda told you…." I began awkwardly.

"They told me what happened. I'm so mad at Matt, he promised never to hurt you. I wish I could see him and give him what for. He wouldn't have dared to do this if he was still in Tulsa cos he knows he'd have all of us to deal with. I wish I had stopped him at the beginning…"

"Pony, none of this is your fault. You know me, you wouldn't have stopped me seeing Matt even if you had tried to. This was all my stupid fault."

Pony surprised me by pulling me into a hug "It's his fault, not yours. You did nothing wrong." His kindness made tears pool in my eyes again. Then he pulled back from me, "Well nothing except running off across Colorado all on your lonesome." He smirked at me.

"I guess that wasn't the smartest idea I ever had."

"Darry was beside himself when they called and said you had gone. He was all set to drive up there straight away but Soda said to wait."

"I didn't mean to worry anyone, nobody was ever meant to know I had even gone." I confessed sheepishly.

"Well, I figured that much. We're all just glad that you are back and not lost or dead in a ditch somewhere."

I rolled my eyes "That's a bit over dramatic Pony."

He looked serious for a moment "Seriously Bex, we were all real worried about you. We didn't have a clue where you could be and we thought something bad must have happened for you to disappear like that."

"Sorry. You'd better go get ready." Pony nodded as he closed the bathroom door behind him. I was filled with guilt as I realised just how much worry I had put my brothers through by running off. I hadn't thought till now that they would have been imagining the worst. I knew all that would only make Darry even madder and was not looking forward to talking about it. At least I would have to go to school so there wouldn't be time to 'talk' till he got back from work that evening. I wasn't sure if that was better or worse, as not knowing how he was planning to deal with me was also making me anxious.

"Morning Bex." Said Soda as I came into the kitchen and grabbed myself a bowl of cereal. He was already sat at the table munching some toast. Darry was pouring himself some coffee.

"Morning Soda, hey Darry." I sat down nervously and started eating.

"You sleep okay?" Darry asked.

"Pretty good." I said, though it had taken me a while to drop off with my thoughts always returning to Matt and the hurt I was feeling.

"Steve is gonna take you and Pony to school this morning and Tara's gone with her sister, cos Two-Bit's taking his mom to the hospital."

"Why? Is she okay?"

"Yeah, it's nothing bad, it's just a routine thing."

I wasn't too happy that Steve was taking me, as I knew he'd have a few choice words for me for having worried my brothers. He always liked to take the opportunity to get on his high horse and point out my faults.

"Okay." I noticed Darry was not behaving like he was mad with me and was trying to be gentle, but underneath I could tell he was itching to bring up what had happened and was holding back so as not to have a blow-up before school.

"I'll be back by 5.00 tonight Rebecca and then we're gonna have that talk." He said ominously.

"Okay Darry." I agreed meekly. All things considered I was just glad he was even talking to me and wasn't just yelling and throwing things. I guess I had Matt breaking up with me to thank for Darry's uncharacteristic leniency. Well, I hope Matt wasn't expecting a thank you card for that one. I would rather have Darry yelling at me than feel the hollow ache inside that Matt's betrayal had left me with.

Altogether I was not feeling like there was even a bright side to look on. Not only did I have to look forward to facing Darry that evening, but I had to face the principal that morning. I just hoped that Miss Barnes had managed to persuade him not to suspend me or that would just be more fuel for Darry's anger. Steve arrived and beeped his horn outside and we all leaped into action. Pony ran out of his room, his shirt still undone and grabbed a piece of toast on his way past the table, I snatched up my schoolbag and took a last gulp of orange juice before shouting a goodbye to Darry, and Soda quickly slipped his feet into his shoes, leading the way as we all ran for the door. Steve was not known for his patience and had driven off without one or more of us in the past.

"Come on kids, you're gonna make us late for work. Next time be ready to go." Steve predictably complained as we got into the car.

Pony and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes as we threw ourselves in the back seat, happily leaving Soda to ride shotgun.

"I see the fugitive has returned." Steve remarked snarkily. "What the hell were you thinking kiddo? Do you know how worried your brothers have been?"

I shrugged, not feeling obliged to explain anything to him.

"Can't you stay out of trouble for more than 5 minutes girlie? You do nothing but cause problems." He said nastily with a shake of his head.

I bit my tongue, not wanting to reward him with an answer, despite the urge to yell something sarcastic back at him. I hated when he called me 'Girlie', like I was some little kid.

"Lay off her Steve." Soda said and then started chatting to Steve about some plans they had to go to the rodeo when it was on in Oklahoma. I was thankful for Soda for sticking up for me and for taking the spotlight off of me. I was not in the right frame of mind or feeling emotionally strong enough to take a battering from Steve. Normally I could hold my own, but I was feeling pretty fragile right now and was just as likely to burst into tears if he had carried on. Soda and Pony both knew me well enough to realise that. Pony gave my hand a squeeze.

"Just ignore him Bex." He said in a low voice. "He's just an ass."

I gave him a faint smile back and was glad to see we were at the Junior High. "Bye Pony, bye Soda, thanks for the lift Steve."

"Two-Bit will pick you up as usual, be out in the parking lot." Soda yelled after me. I raised my hand to acknowledge him and then turned to go into school and face my doom with the Principal.

As instructed by Miss Barnes I went straight to his office first thing to find out my fate. I was told to wait outside his office and could hear voices inside. After a few moments Miss Barnes came out and gave me an encouraging smile.

"Principal Roberts will see you now Rebecca." She said and motioned for me to go in. I really hoped she had done a good job of persuading him to go easy on me.

"Miss Curtis." He said in a steely voice as I went in and he pointed to the chair in front of his desk. "Take a seat."

I sat down and reluctantly made eye contact with him across the desk. "Miss Barnes has just been relaying to me everything that happened during the field trip to Colarado and quite frankly I am shocked and disappointed at your irresponsible behaviour. It was extremely foolish and dangerous to venture off on your own, in an unfamiliar place and especially to do so without anybody knowing where you were. Your teachers were responsible for you while you were in their care and if something had happened to you it would have put all of us in a very difficult position, apart from the upset it would have caused your family. Do you have anything at all to say in your defence?"

I swallowed, not exactly sure that anything I had to say would make any difference but thought I owed it to myself to try "I'm really sorry for worrying the teachers and I will never do anything like that again. I went to see a friend and I did tell one other person where I was in case anything happened, but I got back okay. I realise now it was not a good idea and I am sorry." I meant it too, I was sorry that I had ever gone, although if I hadn't goodness knows how long it would have been before I found out Matt's true character…

"Yes, I'm glad you are sorry Miss Curtis. I had in mind to suspend you for this but Miss Barnes has a put a word in in your favour. Instead of a full suspension you will serve 2 weeks of in school suspension. That means you will do all your work at a desk here in the school office and you will also spend recess here. In the lunch hour you will be on garbage collection around the grounds or will be given other jobs around the school. You will have no contact with the other students within school hours and you will also be given 2 weeks of detentions once the suspension is over. I hope you are clear Miss Curtis that what you did was very serious, very dangerous and I hope you will take your punishment seriously as well. I am thoroughly disappointed that you let your school and yourself down in this way. Is that all clear?"

"Yes sir." I nodded, inwardly groaning. These next 2 weeks were going to be painfully slow and boring but at least I would be saved the agony of having to talk to anybody about Matt. I didn't really want to see anybody except for Tara anyway. If I wasn't grounded then I would be able to see her after school, but I knew that it would be a miracle if Darry didn't put me on house arrest for the rest of my life.

"Go to your locker and pick up your things and then I will make sure you have a list of assignments for each of your classes. Off you go now. And don't forget to thank Miss Barnes for protecting your permanent record. You are lucky I was feeling generous."

"Yes sir, thank you." I said automatically and then went off to collect my things. I was put at a desk in the corner of the secretaries' office and told to keep quiet and get on. I sighed and set to work diligently. Doing what I could and leaving the bits of work that I really didn't get till last. I wasn't sure who to ask for help if I got stuck.

The secretaries were obviously not very pleased to have a student in the office, curtailing their chat and preventing their usual gossip about the staff. They gave me lots of dirty looks and busied themselves importantly until they realised I wasn't interested in noticing what they were doing. So, after a while I apparently blended into the background and it was a bit of light relief to hear them airing their opinions about the teachers and their private lives. I got lots of interesting tit-bits to share with my classmates as long as I feigned deep concentration and didn't appear to be listening at all. The morning went slowly though and I was glad when I was escorted to the canteen by the receptionist to buy lunch. I was told to eat quickly before being shown to the geography classroom and given a ruler in order to scrape all the gum off the underside of the desks. This was a tedious and unrewarding job and I broke 2 rulers before the lunchbreak was over and I was called back to my desk. The afternoon was much the same as the morning. I managed to complete all my work, although I wasn't sure about my English essay on Macbeth. I had to show all my work to Principal Roberts before leaving. He gave it a cursory glance before nodding and telling me to come straight back to my desk the next morning.

I went out into the parking lot to find Two-Bit waiting. "Finally Bex, I thought you'd run off again." He teased.

I was feeling tired and grumpy after my day, so wasn't much in the mood for Two-Bit's teasing "Sorry, I had to see Principal Roberts before I was allowed to leave." I grumbled.

"Bexster, you are turning into a hardened criminal. There was a time when the Principal didn't know you were, now you're on his most wanted list." Two-Bit grinned. I didn't find it funny, cos it was too close to the truth. I just grunted.

"Don't look so miserable little Bex, it can't be so bad, at least you didn't get suspended. One less thing for Darry to yell at you for."

"What did you get?" Pony asked gently.

"I got a 2 week in-school suspension and then 2 weeks of detentions after that, plus I gotta do loads of chores around the school every lunchtime."

Two-Bit whistled "Well, they ain't letting you off lightly, still you're here and you're alive and that's the main thing, that is at least until Darry deals with you this evening. I'm sure he has in mind to warm your butt for ya."

I blushed as I threw myself in the back seat. "Shut up Two-Bit, it ain't funny and I ain't in the mood."

Two-bit just laughed and jumped in the front.

"Where's Tara?" I asked Pony.

"She's got detention all this week so Sam is picking her up."

"Yep, that's what she gets for befriending a convict like you Bex." Two-Bit teased.

I crossed my arms and sighed. I felt bad that Tara had got into trouble cos of me and my plan. I didn't need Two-Bit to rub it in. I chose not to answer him, feeling too miserable to come up with a good enough response. Two-bit laid off me a bit after that, as he must have noticed I wasn't in the mood for too much ribbing.

When I got in I threw myself down on the couch and turned the tv on. I guessed this may be my last chance to do so for a while, as I was sure to be grounded and restricted to my room with no TV. I glanced out of the window as I heard a big clap of thunder. A storm had been brewing all day and it looked like it had finally got here. That meant I wouldn't have long before facing Darry, as rain always put a stop to his work. I was glad he wasn't allowed to stay out there balancing on a slippery roof in risk of being struck by lightning. It was risky enough in good conditions, so his boss always sent them home. Sure enough 20 minutes later Darry came home to find Pony and me flopped on the couch watching Mister Ed.

"Hey guys, had a good day at school?" he looked meaningfully at me. I knew Principal Roberts had already called him to discuss my punishment, so I didn't know why he was asking me.

"It was fine." Said Pony. "We have some mock exam papers next week, so we just did loads of revision."

"Shouldn't you be in your room studying then Pone?"

Pony sighed and shrugged getting reluctantly up from the couch and trudging off to his room, which was Darry's main intention since he wanted to talk to me alone.

"I guess Principal Roberts spoke to you about my punishment at school?" I asked.

"Yeah, you're very lucky that Miss Barnes took up for you that way. He was well within his rights to suspend you for what you did, so count yourself lucky you just got an in-school suspension."

I held back the urge to roll my eyes. I wouldn't exactly call it lucky to be stuck in the school office all day and doing all the dirty jobs around the school, but I bit my tongue and resisted comment.

"I guess we need to have that chat now Rebecca, why don't you go to your room and I'll be along in a minute. It's more private there."

My stomach flipped as I had a strong feeling what the chat would involve and I was dreading it, but I did as I was told and went off to my room to wait. My nerves made it impossible to keep still and I paced in my room waiting for Darry to come. He knocked on my door a few minutes later and came in, motioning for me to sit down on the bed, while he stayed standing.

"I'm not gonna repeat myself Rebecca, I've already said how disappointed I am in your behaviour and the danger you put yourself in, as well as how you have abused our trust in you by carrying on the relationship with Matt. It hurts that you did what you did and I cannot tell you how worried we all were when you went missing like that."

I just looked down at my lap and nodded, avoiding eye contact with Darry, as I was sure I would start crying if I looked at him right then. The mere mention of Matt on its own was enough to put me on the edge of tears, but at that moment it was more the idea of having worried and disappointed Darry and Soda, and I guess Pony too. I had managed to rebuild some of their trust after the party fiasco and now I had lost it all over again.

"Look at me Becky." Darry commanded. So I looked up, meeting his eyes and my lip quivered as I saw his serious expression. "I want you to know that we all love you and we couldn't do without you in this family. It would have killed us if something had happened to you while you were off on your own. You put yourself in a very vulnerable position and it's just lucky nothing bad did happen. I'm sorry that you got hurt by that boy, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on you with your punishment cos this is serious Rebecca. You can't go round doing things like that. You are grounded for 3 weeks and you will not be going anywhere without either myself, Soda or one of the gang for a long time to come. Until we feel we can trust you again." The tears were coursing down my face again.

"I'm sorry to have scared you Darry, I didn't mean to and I promise I won't do anything like that ever again. I know now that it was stupid. I've learned my lesson Darry, you really don't need to spank me."

Darry pursed his lips "Sorry Baby. I'm glad you realise what you did was wrong, but you still need to take the punishment. It's the only way I know to make you remember."

"Please Darry…" I wheedled, desperate to avoid going across his knee again.

"Enough Rebecca!" he snapped "I'm not discussing with you about this." He sat down next to me on my bed and patted his lap "Come on, let's get this over with."

Reluctantly I postioned myself over his lap, with my upper body draped across the bed. I was wearing a skirt so all he had to do was flip it up and he began straight away causing me to yelp as his huge hand fell firmly on my butt. There was no let up and barely a pause between each smack and I lost count after 25 since I was crying too hard.

"Ouch Darry, no more please." I pleaded, but he hardened his heart and ignored me, carrying on for a couple more minutes before finally stopping and rubbing my back consolingly.

"It's over Baby. Let's just move on now and make a fresh start." He pulled me up so that I was standing between his legs, purposely avoiding any contact with my burning rear end. I sobbed into his shoulder as he wrapped his big arms around me. I hated getting spanked by him, but it was one of the few times that he ever really hugged me like that, so I enjoyed the feeling of being safe and loved in his arms. I knew he didn't spank me to hurt me, but to teach me, to help me, to try and do his job as my surrogate parent. I knew all that and the hug just helped to reinforce it. Even when the tears had subsided I resisted when he tried to push me out of the hug and he indulged me for a couple more minutes. I was almost falling asleep on his shoulder when he finally made a move.

"Okay Sweetie, I have to go and take a shower before dinner. Are you okay?"

"Yes Darry, I am sorry, really. I love you."

"I know you're sorry and I love you too Bex. Seeing as you're grounded, you'd better stay in your room till dinner. Do you have homework?"

I shook my head "No, I got it all done at school. It's real boring sitting there by myself outside the office, so I did all my homework as well as the stuff from class."

"Well, maybe you should stay there all the time." Darry grinned.

I scowled at him "Bad idea! I would die of boredom and become a lonely old hermit with no friends."

He laughed "So dramatic!"

"It's true! I didn't speak to anyone except the Principal all day today. It was such a long day!"

"Well, that's why it's a punishment. I'm still just glad he didn't suspend you. It's not what we need on your record with social services on top of us the whole time."

I rolled my eyes "Yeah, yeah, I know. It still sucks though."

"Well, if you don't do anything stupid it'll never happen again will it?" he said more sternly, I knew he was annoyed at my eye roll.

"Go have your shower then Darry, I'll just read my book till dinner." I said ushering him out before I made him mad again.

"Trying to get rid of me? Okay I can take a hint. Be good." He said pointing a finger at me, then went out closing the door behind him. I threw myself back on my bed, wincing as my sore butt hit the mattress and turning onto my side to avoid any further contact. Despite the sting I felt that I had gotten off lightly. I knew, despite what Darry had said, that he was going easy on me because of Matt and the punishment could have been a lot worse considering what I'd done. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with tiredness and a feeling of melancholy. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the thoughts of Matt which overwhelmed me whenever I had a moment to myself. I still felt a physical pain whenever I remembered him and that was often. I hoped it wouldn't last, but didn't see how I could ever feel happy again or move on from this. I fell asleep, glad of the respite from my thoughts.