The problem with celebrity status
I have sad news! For this winter at my school, I have 2 Honors and 2 AP classes…in the same tri! Combined with my ski team, I doubt I'll be able to update this fic often…weekly if I'm lucky! So if you're planning to send in any reviews at the current time, don't expect them to be answered on this fic until the spring!
-In Amy's Sonic Shrine-
Jack: (grabs welding torch) Amy, that goddamn crazy fan girl…making me go all this way just to rescue this idiot…(unfreezes Sonic)
Sonic: AH!…Phew, no more Darth Vader…
Jack: (kicks Sonic out of shrine) Just go already!
-Later-
Jill: (looks up at Mount Reviews)(gulps) I wouldn't be surprised if astronauts could see this mountain of reviews from space!
Jack: (comes on stage) It's here! Rouge is in Playboy! (throws magazine copy to fan boys)
Fan boys: (cheering)(treasure magazine forever as a holy relic)
Rouge: (glares) Are you all done being horny yet?
Fan boys: NEVER!
Jack: (cheers) Horniness forever! Now it's time to introduce a new horror. Since you all are such celebrities, you all have to have your own (unveils curtain) PAPARAZZI!
Paparazzi: (jump onto stages, start taking pictures and spreading rumors as usual)
Sonic: (starts running) AAAHHHH!
Paparazzi: (chase after Sonic while taking pictures)
Amy: (confronts paparazzi, starts hitting their cameras with her hammer) HEY! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SONIC'S STALKER!
Paparazzi: (start spreading dirty rumors about Amy)
Amy: Damn you…(runs off crying, dragging Eggman behind her)
Jill: Take that, celebrity status!…
Lol, this is the funnyest fanfiction I've seen in a while.
Charmy: Take Samus's arm cannon, and set it to Hyper Beam, then shoot anyone you want. And no one can do anything to him after werds. (Give's Charmy Samus's arm cannon)
Tails: Tails has to stay in the air for the hole chapter. And every time he touch's the ground, Charmy get's to shoot him with a Hyper Beam.
Sonic: I dare you to eat the mater emerald in frount of Knuckles.
Knuckles: You have to go the hole chapter with out being tricked by Eggman. If you do get Tricked, Charmy get's to shoot you with the Hyper Beam.
Amy: Go the hole chapter with out calling Sonic Sonikku (Or how ever you say it). If you do, Carmy get's to shoot you with the Hyper Beam.
Cream: ... I can't do it. Your off the hook for this chapter.
Shadow: Go the hole chapter with out getting angry. If you do get angry, Charmy get's to shoot you with the Hyper Beam.
-Toko the Pikmin master
Charmy: (grabs cannon) I like the look of this! First off….(starts shooting the TailsCream fan girls) I WANT HER! (turns to Tails) NOW FLY, FOX BOY! (starts shooting at Tails)
Tails: (jumps up, starts flying) AAAHHHH!
Jack: Cool! I knew that somewhere VERY deep, Charmy must have an evil side!
Sonic: This isn't going to agree with my stomach too well…(swallows Master Emerald whole, then collapses from suddenly getting overweight)
Knuckles: (appalled expression) How…could you?!
Eggman: I told you! This whole time, Sonic's always wanted the Master Emerald!
Knuckles: Really? I guess you were right…(gets blown up by Charmy)
Jack: I can't believe that I would ever do this on the fic, but…(high fives Eggman) That was awesome!
Eggman: (blushing) R-really? (starts tearing up)
Jack: (backs away) Whoa, you don't have to overreact!
Amy: (runs back on stage) WHAT?! But in Japan, his original name is Sonniku-(BOOM)
Eggman: That was good aim…she was still duct-taped to me, yet you managed to only blow her up!
Jack: Eggman and Charmy have both just gone up a rung on the social ladder of coolness in this fic!
Cream: Yippie!
Cosmo: (glares) I'll get her next chapter…
Shadow: But what if someone pisses me off?
Jill: Then you'll just have to learn self-control!
Shadow: That's so easy for you to say…
Jack: Don't make me sic the paparazzi on you!
Shadow: (gulps)
Jill: Heading onwards…
Jack: You are an evil person just like me. Here is a plate of cookies.
Dares from me:
Tails: You are immuned to other dares for this chapter.
Jack: If anyone gives a dare to Tails, you must kill Amy. I don't care how you kill her just make her suffer.
Knuckles: You are immuned to dares, but there's a catch. You have to sit next to Jill all chapter and let her do whatever she wants without complaining.
Sonic: Everytime someone gives a dare to Knuckles you can head to the closet. With Blaze of course.
Shadow and Eggman: You two to the Closet!
Tikal, Chaos, Charmy, Silver, Froggy, Big: Jack gets to blow you up with grenades.
Amy: You get tied up and have to watch Blaze and Sonic every time they go in the closet.
Cosmo and Cream: Here's some advice: Stay away from Tails for the next three chapters. If you do go near him, I'll be mad.
Amy and Blaze: Closet!
Cream: I dislike you. And for that, you must get thrown to the TailsxCosmo fangirls.
Shadow: I want you to be killed by Sonic in the most violent way possible.
Those are my dares. Jack you rule and give me something to look forward to everyday. I only hope this torture is good enough.
-notthenewkid
Jack: COOKIES! (gulps them all down) Go Dark Side! Woot!
Tails: Thank you!
Jack: Well, I guess that's a compromise we can all benefit from!
Knuckles: (gulps) I'd rather take the dares!
Jack: Too bad! (shoves him next to Jill)
Jill: MR. BISHIE?! (glomps him) YAAAY!
Knuckles: (gasping) Can't…feel…torso…
Sonic: (throws up Master Emerald) I told you all so…and I guess that dare's pretty cool!
Jack: Hey, where's some suffering around here? (reads next dare, then grins) I spoke too soon… (laughs evilly while summoning yaoi fan girls)
Yaoi fan girls: HOT BISHIE! (grab Shadow)
Eggman: Hey, they aren't grabbing me! They're too busy glomping Shadow!
Jack: I'll help with your problem! (shoves Eggman and Amy into yaoi fan girl crowd)
Yaoi fan girls: (drag Eggman and Shadow into closet)
Shadow: (in closet) NO! NOT WITH HIM! AAAAAUUUUUGHHHH!
Amy: (in closet) Too bad I'm not as much of a yaoi fan girl anymore…otherwise I would enjoy being stuck in here!
Jill: I just noticed something. In that review, the symbol to the right of that dare forms a happy face or a grumpy face depending on which way you look at it!
Jack: (opens up crate of grenades) THANK YOU! (plays a lot more of "Hot Potato" with the characters mentioned)
Big: (holds Froggy in one hand and grenade in another) Uhhh…what do I do?
Froggy: Ribbit! (Translation: LET GO OF ME, DAMN YOU! YOU'RE GOING TO GET US BOTH KILLED-)(BOOM)
Chaos: (gets blown up to the four corners of Mobius)
Tikal and Charmy: (easy targets)
Silver: (holds grenade in place with powers) Ha! You can't get me!
Jack: (keeps continuously throwing grenades at Silver)
Silver: (sweating) Too…many…to hold…at once…(BOOM)(gets blown up in a gigantic explosion)
Jack: Did you know that Silver's eyes were blue?
Jill: What?
Jack: Yeah! One blew east, and one blew west! (If you don't get this joke, pronounce it until you do)
Eggman: (heads out of closet shuddering)
Amy: I'm kind of already tied up here with this duct tape!
Cream: Well, this reviewer doesn't sound like the type I would want to piss off…
Cosmo: NOOOOOO!
Jack: (summons yuri fan boys) Get the two Sonic lovers!
Yuri fan boys: (grab Blaze and Amy, take them into closet)
Eggman: (in closet) Nice! I get a front seat in watching the hot stuff go on!
Cream: HAH! I'm immune to dares for the chapter! (sticks tongue out at everyone)
Sonic: I know just how to kill him…(walks up to Shadow) Hey, I just heard that emos are totally creepy! So get away from me, you creep!
Shadow: Must...keep calm…
Sonic: And you're also black, right? (tries doing a complex handshake with him) What's up, G?
Shadow: Can't last…much longer…
Sonic: And don't you love a dead girl? EEEEEWWWW!
Shadow: THAT'S IT! (pulls out guns and pulls triggers)(flags come out of barrel inscribed with "BOOM" on them) What the…
Sonic: (rolling on floor laughing) I totally set that up!
Shadow: Grrr…
Jack: Wait a minute! That's showing some anger right there-(BOOM) Smart idea, Sonic!
Jill: But the fighting has just begun, as now we get to the anonymous reviews…
Do me a favor and change all characters to monsters and make them figth with one another please
Give Shadow and Omega weapons to kill everyonethey want for the rest of the chapter. (including Fans)
-Who carws
Jack: (drags Amy and Blaze out of closet) That's not a problem! AUTHOR POWERS!
Everyone: (turns into monsters)
Jill: Rumble time! (throws everyone into an arena, has them start fighting)
Jack: I'd better get out of here before too much blood spills off of the arena…
Janitor: Damn! I'll have to clean up that giant (bleep)ing mess…(grumbles)
-Later-
Shadow: (wins the fight) RAWR!
Jack: (turns everyone back to normal)(gives out weapons)
Shadow: (goes on a fan girl drive-by shooting spree with Omega, then they both high-five) Can you all dig it?
Jack: NEXT!
I dare Sonic to dress up as Zim and act like him for the next two chapters.I want the same for Tails except as Gir. I want you to de-nueter Shadow, put him in a sugar high, give him a strong aphrodisiac, and put him in the closet with Amy,Rouge,Blaze,Tikal,Maria,Cosmo,Cream,my fan caracter Nara the Dragon,five Shadow fangirls, and three Shadow fanboys. Rouge must cut out Knuckle's heart and make Jill eat it.
-Empress Ryu
Sonic: BWAHAHA! I shall destroy every being on this foolish planet!
Tails: Of course you will, master!
Mephiles: HEY! I'm supposed to be the one destroying the earth and killing every human!
Eggman: Same here!
Jack: (snickers at Eggman)…Good luck with that.
Sonic: Well, I want to take over the world now!
Mephiles: I tried to before you!
Sonic: Really? You wanna bring it? (starts a shoving match with Mephiles)
Mephiles: Totally! (gets into a fight with Sonic, kills him with beam…yet again!)
Tails: (crying) MAAAAASSSSTEEERRR!
Shadow: I'm already de-neutered! Whenever we're brought back to life, we're also brought back to normal from whatever we suffered before!
Jill: (hands him a barrel of cookies) Then it's time for a sugar high!
Shadow: (eats all of the cookies after several minutes) These didn't taste right…what did you put in them?
Jill: The same stuff we gave to Tails a couple of chapters ago!
Shadow: Well, the hornier the better, I guess! Who's it with?
Jack: (reads dare) You lucky man, you…ALL THE GIRLS!
Jill: Except the OC! It's against our policy…
Jack: Hey ladies! I heard Orlando Bloom/Brad Pitt/Johnny Depp/any hot guy is tied up inside our closet right now!
Girls who weren't already in closet (plus five summoned fan girls): OMG! (charge into closet, with the exception of Cream due to immunity)
Rouge: Where is he?
Jill: Here's your man! (shoves Shadow into closet, locks door)
Sonic: (revived) First he takes my spot as the top bishie, and now this?! I can't take it anymore! (grabs knife, commits hari-kari)
Jack: (sighs) Those Japanese hedgehogs…
Shadow: (inside closet) Wow…I've never heard of a 11-some before! How do I handle twelve ladies at once?
Jack: Oh! And we need three fan boys in there too! (teleports three fan boys inside closet)
Shadow: (inside closet) WHOA! I don't swing that way!
Jill: (shouts into closet door) Too bad! The fan girls are yaoi fan girls, and the fan boys are yuri fan boys! There's going to be a lot of action going on in there…
Shadow: NO! Oh yeah…NO! Oh yeah…NO!
-After a very disturbing amount of sex-
Shadow: (comes out of closet door) Brain...overloaded…
Jack: Didn't you ever hear that Robin Williams quote? A guy has a (bleep) and brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time!
Knuckles: But I wanted in on the action!
Rouge: There you are! I know just how to get you away from that fan girl…(turns on a nearby radio, plays the song "Girlfriend" on it, then starts dancing really hot and singing) Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend…
-Later-
Knuckles: So…hot…Jill, I'm going for Rouge! (pushes her away)
Jill: NOOOOOOO! (collapses on ground) Damn you, breast implants! Rouge wouldn't be so hot without you!
Rouge: (glares) And now, to fully fulfill my character…(stabs Knuckles, pulls out heart)
Jack: We're not doing this in graphic detail! Just imagine it's a…a…heart-shaped cookie that she's pulling out of Knuckles! There…
Eggman: (heads out of closet dragging Amy) Wow...Rouge once again proves that she can be a real bitch!
Rouge: (gives "cookie" to Jill) Now eat it!
Jill: (swallows while crying, then grins) This means I can have him inside me forever! MUAHAHA!
Jack:…You're crazier than I thought you were! (backs away slowly) Here's today's final dare…
i dare shadow to kiss amy!
-kawaiihusky
Shadow: Sounds good! (grabs Amy, gives her a long kiss)
Eggman: (struggles with tape) I can hear you two kissing! Stop it! Shadow's smoker breath seriously smells disgusting…
Jack: (kicks Sonic's body) If he hadn't killed himself before, he'd be pretty pissed at this!
Paparazzi: (start taking pictures of Shadow and Amy's kiss, immediately put it on magazine covers)
Jack: Oh, snap! Sonic is going to totally kill Shadow when I revive him...
Homework, homework, go away! (sets mountain of homework on fire) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!