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I felt my air supply immediately be cut off as I felt soft lips hit mine and I thought I was being attacked. Brandon's hands held mine and I tensed and leaned back only to have him move across the seats and kiss me more. I finally got my hands on his chest and pushed back from him panting hard and ragged. I clutched my chest a bit and felt so full of thoughts and Brandon looked at me confused and panting as well.

"What…what are you doing? It is wrong to do this." I said with a trembling voice. I knew I was lying to myself when I said that but I had to keep him blind to the reason he couldn't do this. He looked me over and began to shake his head.

"I don't care. Every time I leave this town I keep thinking of you alone here with no man in your life, here in a town of prejudice and sometimes I just worry. I've finally came to terms with the facts that I have strong feelings for you and I refuse to go on staying here without you knowing how I really feel about you." he said with a strong tone, his body enclosing around mine and I tensed and touched his chest.

"Brandon…I- I don't know what to say. I can't do this. With you." I said slowly. His movements on me halted a bit and he stared down at me deeply.

"It's because I am white." he stated. I felt a bit of guilt now, but I knew I couldn't let this go any further. Forrest was right and I felt bad for ignoring the signs. I shook my head and looked away for a moment trying to form a clear mind and then I looked at him.

"No it is not that but I am with someone else." I said and watched every movement. He looked so hurt, but he pulled back into his seat.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry. I should've asked if you had been courted. I'm so sorry." he said cutting on his engine and the car began moving. I simply straightened myself and looked down at my lap. I bit my lip not saying a word the whole ride home. Once he pulled up in front of my house I saw daddy sitting on the front porch with a cigar in his mouth. I got out and began to take the bags from the back seat. Brandon took some bags as well.

"Here let me help you." he said but I only shook my head and took the bags from him.

"No it's okay I got it." I said swiftly and I saw the pained look on his face again, but he nodded and looked down for a second.

"Right uh. I guess I'll see you later then." he said getting in his car and driving out and away. I sighed and walked up the steps and dad stood and took my bags from me.

"Friend of yours?" he asked. I only shrugged and went in the house. I could not even decide what it is we were. I made mashed potatoes and chicken and we saved some to take to Ray tomorrow. I planned to visit him tomorrow after work. For some reason however I did not sleep well. I couldn't. Brandon's feelings kept lurking into my mind and I hate it. I stared at the ceiling and just rubbed my stomach. So I was getting married before the baby arrived and even that wonderful thought made me sad because of Rakes words. I was sure this child was Forrest's baby. It had to be. I closed my eyes and let a tear slide down my cheek. Was this the pressure of the life of white women? Was I somehow being punished for something?

The next day mother dropped me off at the bar and drove off to visit Ray. It was a silent morning really for I stayed to myself. I just did what the customers wanted. I was in a grey dress made of cotton and it kept me feeling very warm. I looked around to see Forrest sweeping and Howard, who was in the back, was now in front of me with a drink in his hand of which I could assume was alcohol.

"What's wrong Eula, you've been quiet." he pointed out and Forrest glanced at me but continued to sweep. I merely shrugged.

"I didn't get much sleep is all. Too much on my mind." I replied and he nodded.

"Like the wedding and everything." he assumed and I nodded with a tired sigh.

"Yeah." I replied and began wiping down the counter.

"Maybe you need the day off." Forrest suggested as he put the broom away and then moved back behind the bar standing beside me. I shook my head for I knew when I wasn't working I was always in a situation I didn't want to be in.

"No I'm okay. I would rather work." I said lightly looking up at Forrest who only nodded looking me over once before moving to the back to his little room. He closed it and I just wiped the counters again.

"Well if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here." Howard said with pleasant smile and I looked at him with a pleasant smile and nodded.

"Thanks." I replied and he nodded once. The day went on longer and once my shift ended, mother was coming to get me so we could go visit Ray. I said good bye to everyone and left the bar. I had decided that I would be telling Ray that I was pregnant but not that I was getting married. Everything was so mixed up, but I had to keep a clear head through it all.

(Authors notes)

So I don't knw why i've thought of cillian murphy as Brandon but that's just me hhaa yeah thigns are a little boring but soon they will heat up as the wedding and the baby grow closer also I am thinking of writing another lawless story if you've all read my bio you know i center around black women and white men. So it'll be probably an ocxhoward fanfic...let me know your thoughts! Enjoy