Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Last Airbender.
Bodyguard of Azula
Chapter 36: Bluffing and Speeding
"Talking"
"Thinking"
"Bijū/spirit talking"
"Bijū/spirit thinking"
(Location: Konoha Eleven building)
Ino stood outside of Naruto's door. Even though she had the key to the apartment, she was a little afraid to use it. Before Naruto had come back, his apartment was just a set of rooms they cleaned regularly. They may have reminded them of him, but it was memories of him three years ago, when he was hyperactive and had greeted them in a loud voice.
Now, he was back but completely different from what they remembered. Instead of being hyperactive, he usually stay calm and collected (if not a bit sarcastic) unless something really angered him. If that happened, he would not hesitate to show his anger. Instead of greeting them loudly or excitedly whenever he saw them, he looked at them like he didn't want to be anywhere near them.
"Perhaps it's a good thing that Sakura and her team are out of the village for two months." She thought to herself. "If they were here, there would probably be a bloodbath." She turned her attention back to the door. "Um…Naruto, are you awake?" She called out, hesitantly knocking on the door. "Everyone is gathered downstairs for breakfast. We're waiting on you." There was no reply. "Come on, Naruto. Since when have you passed up free food? There's plenty of ramen waiting." She kept knocking, losing the hesitation. When there was still no reply, she started banging on the door. "Hey! We're trying to be nice to you and wait. Do you want us to start with you?!" And again, she got no reply. The door just stood there, mocking her by denying her the answers she wanted. "FINE THEN, IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY FOOD, THEN GO AHEAD AND STARVE!" She shouted before stomping away.
She made down to the living room and then through the kitchen to get to the dining room. They usually didn't eat breakfast or lunch together, that was dinner. But this time, they wanted to eat with an old friend. That was the idea, at least. "Is he not coming down?" Hinata asked, the other members of the Konoha Eleven (minus Team Kakashi) standing and sitting around the big table.
"He didn't even open the door!" She fumed.
"Are we going to wait for him or not?" Chōji asked his teammate.
"It's no skin off my nose if he doesn't want to come join us." She sat down at the table and began eating.
"But we did this for him!" Kiba protested. What was the point of it if he didn't come down to eat with them?
"If he's going to be like this, there's nothing we can do about it." Neji told him.
"He is correct, Kiba." Shino said, sitting down alongside Neji. "If Naruto does not wish to join us, then we can't force him."
"Why can't we?"
"I don't know about you, but I would rather not get killed trying to force him to have breakfast with us." Shikamaru said.
"If he doesn't want to eat, he can starve." Tenten agreed.
"That's what I yelled at him." Ino said. Those who were still standing sat down and began to eat. They tried to have a conversation but they didn't really feel like having one. The whole point of having this breakfast was for Naruto. It seemed he was doing his best to ignore them.
They finished the food just as they heard people walking through the front door. "Hey, guys." Aang greeted them as he walked in with the rest of Team Avatar behind him. "Sorry if we're late. We had to feed both Appa and Fǎn Yìng."
"That, and Momo kept running through the rooms." Katara commented. The lemur perked up when he heard his name. Then he saw the food on the table and made a leap for it. Akela rolled his eyes as he watched this.
"Don't worry, you're fine." Kiba assured them.
"Where's Naruto?" Zuko asked, looking around. He didn't see the blonde anywhere nearby.
"That jerk's probably still asleep." An annoyed Ino said, trying to focus on what she was eating instead of what they were talking about.
"Is that so?" Azula asked with an amused smirk. "I'll take care of it." She walked over to the stars and climb up them, leaving everyone else there.
"Where are you going?" Toph asked as she felt Ino and a few others try to sneak up the stairs.
"We want to see how she wakes him up." Ino answered. "It'll be fun to watch."
"It's best if you don't." Zuko warned them. "Not unless you want get caught in the crossfire."
"Crossfire?" repeated Tenten.
He nodded. "When Azula tries something, she'll give it her all and then some. But that's not always a good thing. Sometimes, it gets her into problems."
"Like what?" Lee asked.
"From what I can tell, the officers who are in charge of training recruits have begged Naruto many times not to let her train with the recruits." He told them. "Apparently when she does, at least twenty people are sent to the hospital."
"At least?" repeated Kiba. He sounded like he couldn't believe what he had just heard.
"And that's on a good day." That stopped them from going up the stairs. They waited for a few minutes, listening for the sounds of fighting or an explosion. What they got was both Azula and Naruto walking down the stairs.
"Now that's a way to be woken up in the morning." Naruto declared, looking at Azula with a grin.
"I'm so glad you approve." She remarked. Although she tried to hide it, some of the people there could see the faint blush on her cheeks.
"What did you do?" Katara asked her, being of the some who saw the blush.
"She kicked the door open, walked in, and woke me up with a kiss." Naruto answered.
"Are you serious?" Sokka asked, surprised that Azula would do something like that. He wasn't the only one; the other members of Team Avatar were surprised too.
"Why would I lie about something like that?" He looked at him, Akela, and Zuko. "You guys have eaten, right?"
"Yeah, we have." The Tribesman replied.
"Good, then let's get going." He started walking to the door.
"What about you?" Zuko asked. "Shouldn't you get something?"
"I had an apple. Come on." The three of them decided to do as instructed and fell in him.
"Hey, hold on!" Ino said loudly, stopping them.
Naruto turned around to face her. "Yes, Ms. Harpy?" He asked with a pleasant voice that everyone could tell was a fake one.
"What did you call me?!" She demanded, getting angrier and standing up from her chair.
"You heard me. What do you want?"
"Naruto," Hinata spoke up. "Why aren't you wearing the clothes we set out for you or your headband? You're still wearing your prisoner uniform."
"That's because I am a prisoner." He answered. "Until we leave this place, I will consider myself a prisoner of Konoha." He turned back around and walked out of the place. Zuko, Sokka, and Akela were right behind him.
"You really consider yourself a prisoner?" Zuko asked him as they went down the street.
"I just said that, didn't I?"
"Last time I checked, a prisoner couldn't walk around the village freely." The Scarred Dragon pointed out. Granted, people were trying to avoid them, but the blonde was walking freely.
"…Look at the top of the building on your left." The blonde waited as Zuko turned his head to look at the building in question. "You see him?"
"Yeah, I see him." He saw an ANBU agent on top of the building, looking down and keeping track of them.
"Sokka, look at the roof two buildings down."
"What am I…?" The Tribesman began to ask, only to stop. "Oh, I see him." He saw an ANBU agent as well, keeping an eye out on them.
"Just because I can walk freely, doesn't mean there aren't guards keeping an eye on me." Naruto told them as they turned a corner.
"If you hate this place so much, why don't you just destroy it? You have the ability to Soulbend. Why don't you just take control of that swordsman you knew from Kouzan or someone similar and burned this place to the ground?" The blonde stopped walking and stood in the middle of the road. Without any warning, he spun into a roundhouse kick, throwing it at Sokka, who jumped back to avoid it. "Whoa! What'd I say?!" He asked. Akela drew his lips back, baring his fangs and began to growl slightly.
"So everyone in this village is deserving of my hatred?" Naruto asked in a growl. "Does that include the children born after I was? Does it include the newborns that were given life after I had left? Or the kids who are growing up with no knowledge of who I am? How about strangers I have never met?"
"Wait…what are you talking about?"
"Think, Sokka!" He ordered. "You're supposed to be the smart one of the group! What did the Konoha Eleven tell you about this place when they traveled with you?"
"Just a few general things, like it was a village of shinobi, it was in the Land of Fire, which is considered one of the Five Great Shinobi Countries." He remembered that particular conversation quite well. It took them a while to convince him that the Land of Fire was not the Fire Nation.
"So you think nothing would happen if I destroyed Konoha? It's the Land of Fire's main source of strength. What would happen if I took away that source?"
"The Land of Fire would crumble and fall." Zuko realized that quickly enough.
"Creating what?" The blonde pressed them.
"A power vacuum," Sokka said, seeing where this was going.
"And a power vacuum on that scale will lead to war! It could quite possibly be the most bloodiest, chaotic and destructive war this side of the planet has ever seen. And you want me to condemn thousands, if not millions of lives to a possible death just because I have no love for one village?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't think of it like that." The Tribesman apologized.
Naruto calmed himself down and turned back around. "You need to stop being so gung-ho about things, Sokka. Not everyone is guilty for what happened to me." He started walking again and they followed.
They walked in silence for a couple of minutes. "…Shouldn't we get to the Academy?" Zuko finally dared to ask. "The Chūnin Exams start soon."
"We're getting there." He answered. "Actually, hold on…" He stopped and looked at a store. Without saying a word to the others, he turned and walked into the store.
(Location: Hokage office)
Tsunade sat back in her seat, taking a small break from the paperwork. "Lady Tsunade." Shizune said as she walked into the room.
"What is it?" The Hokage asked her.
"Were…were you really going to erase Naruto's memories?"
"Who told you that? Was it Jiraiya?" She asked her assistant, making it sound like she was angry.
"No, he didn't. I was outside the door yesterday and I heard you talking about erasing Naruto's memories." Tears began to glisten in her eyes. "Why would you do something like that?"
"Don't start crying, Shizune. You're a shinobi." As she said those words, her eyes flickered around the room, checking and double-checking everything.
Shizune nodded and wiped the tears off. "But why would you do it?"
"It's the best for everyone."
"You would be keeping him from people he knew for three years!" She accused her sensei.
"That's only if he refused to come back." Tsunade replied, keeping her voice even. "If he came back of his own accord, I'd allow him to visit them. But his first duty would be to Konoha."
"You know he has a rank of high standard in the Bending Countries. People would notice if the Paragon of the Fire Nation wasn't around."
"We'd give him time to train his replacement and then have him come back. He doesn't belong over there, he never has."
"It doesn't matter if he belongs there or not!" Shizune protested.
"Don't you want him back as well, Shizune?" The Hokage asked her.
"Of course I do. But why do you have to go to such lengths?"
"Because I want him back," She answered, looking away. "You might think badly of me, but it really is the best for everyone."
"It won't be for Naruto, though. You're just being selfish." Her assistant accused her.
"…I know." She admitted.
(Location: Academy)
They stood in front of the Academy doors. "So…we're supposed to go in there?" Zuko asked. When he didn't get an answer, he looked back. "Naruto?"
Naruto didn't answer him. He just stared at the swing lying still underneath the tree.
He sat on the swing, looking at the kids who had just become shinobi and their parents. Everyone looked so happy; the parents wore proud smiles on their faces.
"There, you see him?" He heard one mother say.
"It's that boy." Another mother said. "I heard he's the only one who failed."
"Well, it serves him right."
"Just what would happen if he became a shinobi? I mean, he's the boy who—"
"Ssshh, we're not allowed to talk about that!"
"Naruto…hey, Naruto!" shouted Sokka.
He winced at the volume of the Tribesman's voice. "Ah! Don't do that, I'm not deaf." He said.
"Well, you were spacing out for a minute."
"Sorry, I was…reliving old memories." He looked back at the swing. The memories had faded away, for now. But he felt like more would show themselves if he wasn't careful.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not right now and not with you guys. Let's just get this thing started." He turned around and walked into the Academy. Zuko, Sokka, and Akela followed him. They walked through the hallway on the first floor before reaching the end and climbing up the stairs.
"Why would you put the stairs at the end of the hall?" Zuko asked aloud as they went up to the next floor. "Wouldn't it be better to put them next to the entrance?"
"A little walking never hurt anybody." Naruto told him. "Except maybe for Aang, he would complain the entire time." They all thought about it and silently agreed on that fact. Aang would complain, he would complain loudly.
They went into the second floor hallway and saw people gathered around a door. The sign above the door said 301. "Hang on, that can't be right." Zuko said quietly. "Aren't we on the second floor?"
"Don't say anything, Zuko." Naruto ordered him. "The same goes for you, Sokka. We just keep on walking." They made their way through the small crowd and then continued down the hallway. The crowd of Genin behind sniggered and called them losers and idiots.
"We're the idiots?" Sokka asked once they were out of sight. "They're the ones who think it's the third floor." Akela nodded once in agreement.
"You guys don't really know what Genjutsu can do to you. Those Genin do, so the Genjutsu caught them in its trap." The blonde explained as they climbed the stairs to the third floor.
"Hey you!" shouted a voice from below. They looked down and saw another Genin standing on the floor beneath them. Judging from his headband, he was from Konoha. "The blonde one, I'm talking to you!" He shouted up at them.
Naruto turned his head slightly and looked down at him. "What do you want?" He asked, sounding like he was bored.
"I know who you are. You're Naruto Uzumaki, right?"
"What about it?"
"I want you to fight me!" The Genin demanded. Naruto was silent for about a minute as he stared at the kid. Finally, he turned his head away and kept on walking, the other three following him. "Hey, don't ignore me!" The kid screamed. They did just that and kept on walking, only to stop when the kid leapt up to in front of them, making them stop.
"Get out of the way." Naruto ordered him in a calm voice.
"Not until you fight me! I've heard stories about you and I want to see if you live up to them." No one said anything as Naruto slowly looked him over. "What's the matter? You scared?" The kid taunted. "I'd be surprised if you weren't. I was the Rookie of the Year in my class. They said I was the best prodigy that Konoha had since Sasuke Uchiha." Again, no one said anything. Once he was done looking over the kid, he saw that his teammates had arrived and were cheering him on. "Are you scared of me that you won't attack me? Then I'll attack you!" He charged forward and threw a punch at him.
To both his teammates and his surprise, his punch was effortlessly caught. "For the record," Naruto told the kid as he held the fist in a tight grip. "I was trying to decide whether I should just break your arm or cut it off. Lucky for you, I decided the lesser of two evils." He broke the kid's arm with ease, making him howl in pain. He then punched him swiftly in the solar plexus, cutting off the howl. And he finally threw the kid back down to the floor, sending him crashing down in front of his teammates.
As the kids' teammates tried to get him back up, the members of Team Avatar who were doing the Chūnin Exams left. "Wasn't that a little harsh." Sokka asked Naruto as they kept on walking.
"No." He answered. "If anything, that was a kindness. That kid was fresh out of the Academy. He thought he was hot stuff and good enough to take the Chūnin Exams so soon after graduating. If he and his teammates kept up that attitude, they would've been dead within five minutes."
"But didn't you do the same thing?" Zuko asked him.
"Like I said, we got through by sheer dumb luck." They stopped in front of a door at the end of the hallway. "You guys ready?" He asked them. Both Akela and Zuko nodded.
"Let's go show them who we are." Sokka declared.
"Couldn't have said better myself," He said with a grin. He walked up to the door and kicked it open. The doors slammed loudly as they opened, getting everyone's attention as they walked into the room.
"There are a lot of people here." Sokka thought quietly as they walked in. He probably had spoken a little too soon.
"Will we have to fight them all right here and now?" Zuko asked himself. "We might not last, let alone win." Naruto didn't say anything. He just led them to the side of the room and leaned against the wall. Zuko did the same while Sokka sat down on the floor with Akela.
The entire room was silent as everyone there stared at them. They had all heard about Naruto Uzumaki and the things he did in the Elemental Countries. They had heard about the battle in the Land of Waves, which got a bridge named after him. The last Chūnin Exams he partook in, which ended with the invasion from Oto and Suna and him beating the current Kazekage. The mission he took with Jiraiya, the Toad Sage to bring the Slug Princess, Tsunade, back to the village so she could be Hokage. And, of course, they had heard of the mission to retrieve Sasuke Uchiha and the almost legendary fight the two of them had. But after that, all they heard was that he had escaped from the village and had disappeared for three years. And now, he was back.
When he felt the stares, Naruto looked up and stared right back at them. "You people got something to say?" He asked, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Or are you all just that bored?"
Three people walked out of the crowd and over to them. The person in the middle had white hair and purple eyes. He wore a purple shirt and grey pants. He wore a belt around his waist that held a bottle of water. Another belt was around his chest and strapped to the back of it, was a sword that both Sokka and Naruto knew well enough, though they didn't let anything show on their faces. Between the two belts was a headband showing that he was from Kusagakure, the Village Hidden in the Grass.
The girl on his left wore glasses. She also had red hair and red eyes. Her hair was particularly odd. On the right side, it was short and unkempt and on the left, it was long and straight. She wore a lavender-colored shirt with long sleeves, but exposed her navel. She wore black short shorts and black stockings going all the way up her legs. She wore her headband around her forehead.
The man on his right was tall. He had orange hair and orange-red eyes. His face was one of calmness. They couldn't see his shirt or his pants, due to the fact they were covered by a cloak. His headband hung around his neck.
"Well, look who we have here." The white-haired one spoke with a grin, showing the pointed teeth he had. "Naruto Uzumaki, in the flesh, it is an honor." He gave a mocking half-bow. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Suigetsu Hōzuki. These are my teammates, Karin and Jūgo." Naruto didn't say anything, neither did Zuko or Sokka. "So, where have you been for the past three years?" Again, he didn't say anything. "Oh, so you've become one of those tough silent people, right?" The grin he wore became bloodthirsty. "Just so you know. You're dead when we meet in combat. I've heard stories about you and I want to see if you live to the reputation. Or are you too scared?"
"Lay off him, you idiot." Karin told her teammate
Naruto still didn't say anything. He reached into the prison uniform's back pocket and pulled out the pack of cigarettes he had bought from the store. He took one, put it in his mouth and put the rest back. He then dug around in his right pocket before pulling out the zippo lighter he had bought with the cigarettes. Flicking the lid open, he lit the cigarette and took a drag. As he put the lighter away, he took the cigarette out and blew smoke in Suigetsu's face, making him step back and cough. "So, you thought you could make yourself sound and look tough by threatening me, is that it?" He asked. "Congratulations, you've succeeded…in making yourself a braggart. They're the ones who usually go first."
"That's it! You're dead, Uzumaki!" Suigetsu snarled. He was about to leap for him, but Karin held him back. The other teams began to whisper among themselves as this went on.
"Calm down, idiot! We can't start a fight!" She told him.
Naruto, Zuko and Sokka just watched this go on for a couple of minutes. "So, how is your master?" Naruto finally asked as Suigetsu calmed down. "Is he here?"
"Master, what are you talking about?" Jūgo asked, finally speaking.
"Do you not understand? Alright, I'll ask you again. How is Orochimaru doing and is he here?" The entire room went silent when they heard that.
"What the hell? How is Orochimaru our master? We're from Kusa, you idiot!" Karin all but yelled at him. "Besides, why would Orochimaru come here again? He'd be attacked on the spot the minute he stepped through the gate."
"So he's not here. That's a pity." He took another drag and blew smoke in the air. "I was hoping to gut the bastard myself."
"Ha! Who's talking tough now?" Suigetsu asked with a laugh. "Besides, what makes you think that we serve Orochimaru?"
"The Kubikiribōchō is strapped to your back. I know only two kinds of shinobi who take it from someone's grave. One kind has the right; the other's master just wants more power. The first would be shinobi from Kiri and the other is from Oto. And since you're not from Kiri, you're probably from Oto." The blonde explained in a level tone of voice.
"Guess what, pal? You're wrong. We're from Kusa. You can tell by our headbands." He sneered, jabbing at his headband.
"Of course you are." He replied with condescending sarcasm as he took another drag.
"Well, where are your headbands? I thought you'd be a Konoha shinobi if you were here. But I don't see a headband."
He gave a cold smile. "Look down at my feet, you'll see it." He told the so-called Kusa shinobi. He did, and that was when Naruto kicked him hard underneath the chin. He flew back and his head burst into water. Everyone stared in shock at the body on the floor.
The shock turned to surprise when water started to flowed back to the body and formed Suigetsu's head. "That's a hell of a kick you've got there." He said as he stood back up, ready to start a fight.
"Kit, look at his teammate." The Kyūbi warned his host. He turned and looked at Jūgo, who was muttering to himself and beginning to wear a crazed grin. Murderous intent began to roll off of him.
"I'll kill him. I'll kill him." He chanted within his mind as the skin around his neck began to turn dark. But before he could even do anything or before his teammates could stop him, he felt an immense amount of killing intent directed at him. It was coming from Naruto and it showed him several different versions of him dying, some of them were excessive, some of them were extensive, some of them were gory, and all of them were painful.
"If you want to live, I'd recommend you curb your lust for killing people." The blonde told him. His murderous side had never disappeared so quickly. He was left standing in fear of the blonde, who had turned his gaze and his killing intent on the rest of the people there. "You all probably think that you're good enough to take these Exams and you also think you'll be able to pass and become a Chūnin. But I've got one question for you all." He took a drag. "How many of you tenderfoot pussies have been in a war? How many of you have watched people you've known get killed right before your eye? How many have you tried to save their life, only to fail and watch that life leave their eyes? How many people here have come to within an inch of dying multiple times, only to be saved by some sort of luck?" As he asked these questions, he slowly made the killing intent bigger. The others there began to hallucinate. They saw what he described and began to get more and more scared. Akela had pulled his nose away in disgust once he had smelt the amount of pants being soiled. "You're trying to become a Chūnin, which means you going to get missions like that, where people will die and it might be your fault. If you're able to take that, then please, stay. For those of you who can't…" The killing intent, which had many Genin there almost turn into blubbering babies wanting their mommy, disappeared. "The door is right there." He pointed at said door. "Get out."
The rush to get out of the room could almost be classified as a stampede. Genin ran over others trying to get out of the room. They fled from the person who seemed to indirectly promise them a very painful and very bloody death should he find them. By the time they had fled, less than half remained in the room. The remaining Genin weren't terrified of Naruto, it was more like disturbed. Both Zuko and Sokka looked at Naruto with a new level of respect. If he could do something like that to an entire room full of shinobi, it was no wonder he was able to take control of Ba Sing Se away from Long Feng. "Thought so," Naruto thought to himself. "That was too easy."
"But fun." The Kyūbi said.
"Oh yeah, it was definitely fun."
"Damn, he is good." Suigetsu admitted as he watched all of this happen. His amazement soon turned to eager anticipation. "I can't wait to fight him."
"What…what was up with that chakra?" Karin wondered, looking at Naruto with a small amount of fear in her eyes. "What was he doing for the past three years that enabled him to something like that?"
A huge cloud of smoke burst into existence, getting everyone's attention. Once the cloud dispersed, Ibiki Morino along Inoichi Yamanaka stood in front of a group of Chūnins. "Listen up!" Ibiki roared. "My name is Ibiki Morino and this is Inoichi Yamanaka. We are the proctors for the first exam and now, we are your worst enemies."
"Hold on." Inoichi said, looking at the Genin. "This is less than half of the Genin who signed up for the Exams. Where are the rest of them?" All the Genin there looked over at Team Avatar, more specifically, at Naruto, who was currently taking a drag and blowing smoke.
He finally noticed the stares. "What?" He asked, taking the cigarette out of his mouth.
"Naruto, what did you do?" Ino's father asked him.
He shrugged. "Nothing much, they wanted to know if the stories they heard about me were true, so I told them a few things. Next thing you know, most of them are trying to get out of the room."
"Put that out." Ibiki ordered him, pointing at the cigarette in his mouth.
He took it out, dropped it and snuffed it out with his foot. "There, you happy now?" He asked.
"Ecstatic." He answered before turning his attention to the rest of the Genin there. "If we are all ready, all of you hand in your paperwork. Once you hand in the paperwork, you will be given a number." He held a small piece of paper up that the number one on it. "The number you receive will determine where you will sit. Once you are all seated, we will begin the written exam." They all handed in the application form they had been given and had signed. They were told to sit in particular seats. Team Avatar sat very far apart from each other, but that didn't make them nervous. They remembered the talk they had the previous night.
(Flashback)
"Alright, the first exam we're going to have is a written exam." Naruto told the other three from where he sat. "We'll be graded as a team, but they'll keep us separated."
"Why would they do that?" Sokka asked.
"The questions on the exam will be incredibly difficult. Odds are that I probably won't be able to answer them right off the bat. But that's okay, because we're not going to answer them."
"Wait…you lost me." Zuko admitted.
"The whole point of this exam is to see how well you can gather information. There will be Chūnins mingled into the Genin there in order to provide the answers. Other Chūnin will be seating on the sides and will be keeping an eye on us. If they see us cheating, they'll mark us. If they marked one of us five times, we'll fail and get kicked out."
"So, we would have to cheat in such a way that they won't be able to catch us." Sokka summarized.
"That would be right, if we were going to actually take the test. But as I said before, we're not going to do that. This is what we're going to do…"
(End Flashback)
Naruto looked behind. They had place Sokka in the back on the far right and Zuko on the far left. He was up in the first couple of rows. "I guess they think we have some sort of silent communication." He thought.
"Can you say overly paranoid?" The Kyūbi asked.
"Gleefully," He answered.
"Remember, you only have an hour to complete this exam." Inoichi reminded all of them. "The tenth question will be given in the last fifteen minutes." He looked at the clock. When it struck the top of the hour he told them to begin.
They took hold of their pencils and stared down at the test. Some of the Genin managed to figure out what the purpose of the test was right away and began to cheat. Others took a little longer to understand. They tried to keep calm under the gaze of the Chūnins watching over them, trying not to think if they were the ones who were marked every time they wrote on the clipboard they held.
The hour dragged on, the ticking of the clock unnerving a few of them. While the Chūnins watched all of the Genins, both Ibiki and Inoichi were watching Naruto and his teammates. While they did occasionally write something down on the papers in front of them, they just sat in silence, waiting for the time to go out.
Out of nowhere, one of the Chūnin threw a kunai at the Genin next to Naruto. It struck his paper, tearing a hole in it. "What the…?" The Genin said in surprise, shaking from the fright. "What was that all about?" He asked the Chūnin.
"We caught you cheating five times." He answered. "You failed the test."
"What? No way. There's gotta be a mistake! How would you know if I—"
"Oh, just shut up." Naruto spoke, surprising everyone. "The guy said you failed. If that was what he said, then you and teammates get your sorry asses out of here." He reached over and pulled the kunai out of the table. "You don't mind if I use this, do you?" He asked the Chūnin. When he didn't receive an answer, he started to pick at his nails with the kunai.
"Candidate number 15, fail," The Chūnin announced as he walked over and took the kunai from Naruto. "Number 86 and 54, fail." The three Genin stood up and walked out of the room. Once that team was gone, it had sent the ball rolling. Every couple of minutes, another team would be failed and sent out of the room. Some would protest, which would result in them getting slammed into the walls by one of the Chūnin or just being dragged out of the room. And all the while, the clock kept on ticking.
"You know, I can see why they don't use a digital clock." Naruto mused. "It helps with the mind games."
"Funny. I always thought it was there to annoy the hell of the Genin." The Kyūbi replied.
"It's the same basic principal."
Finally, after what felt like a millennium to some, forty five minutes had past. "Very well," Inoichi said, getting everyone's attention. "We will now give you the tenth and final question."
"But first," Ibiki continued. "There are a few more rules we need to tell you." While he explained the rules, Team Avatar remembered last night.
(Flashback)
"When it comes time for the last question, the proctor will hit us along with the rest of the Genin with a mind game." Naruto told them. "He'll give two options. The first is to skip the tenth question. If one Genin does choose to skip the question, both he and the rest of his team fail and will be sent out of the room."
"Seems like the lesser of two evils, going everything you've said so far about the first exam." Zuko noted.
"It is. The second choice is to stay and take the question. If you answer the question incorrectly, you and your team will fail as well as be barred from taking the Chūnin Exams ever again."
"So you either take the safe route or take a risk and possibly fail permanently, huh?" Sokka asked for clarification.
"That's the gist of it. But all we have to do is very simple…"
(End Flashback)
"Now that we have explained the rules, those of you who wish not to take the question, raise your hand." Inoichi ordered. "Your number will be recorded and then you'll be able to leave."
Everyone was silent. With the exception of three, all of them were completely and utterly nervous. No one was sure who would raise their hand first; they just knew who did would start the others off. "I give up." A Genin in the back stood up and raised his hand. "Sorry guys, I just can't do it."
"Number 128, fail," One of the Chūnin announced. "Number 34, number 81, you fail too." The three Genin rose up from their chairs and left the room. Sure enough that started the dominos. Other Genin stood up and chose to skip the question. They and their teammates left the room; some were glaring the one who gave up to death.
"Are you not going to say anything, Naruto?" Ibiki asked the blonde with a smirk, remembering what he did in his last Exam.
"Why should I?" He asked back. "It's a sink or swim world out there. Some of the people decided to sink while others decided to swim." He fell silent after those words while other Genin gave up. By the time the last team left, less than a third of the people who took the test were left.
"Hmm, there are only 24 left." Inoichi thought to himself. "This was biggest amount of Genin who had signed up for the Chūnin exams. If Naruto hadn't said anything, no doubt this would be larger."
"Now that all those who had given up have now left, there is only one thing left to say." Ibiki said. "All of you…have passed the first exam."
The silence in the room was almost deafening. "Wait…what?!" Karin shouted, standing up. "What the hell do you mean we passed? What is the tenth question?"
"There was no tenth question." Inoichi told her. "Not a written one. Your decision to stay was the answer we needed."
As both he and Ibiki explained what the exam was all about and what was supposed to happen during it, both Zuko and Sokka shared the same thought. "Can we move on, please?"
"Finally, it's over." Naruto thought as he stretched in his seat.
"Still don't like written exams, huh?" The Kyūbi asked with a chuckle.
"Of course, I'm just glad I only have to deal with reports nowadays."
"You mean you used to only have to deal with reports. Besides you didn't write anything on the paper."
"You mean anything they wanted to see."
"For those of you who have answered the last question successfully, you have earned the right to move on to the next exam." Ibiki declared. "As the first exam is now officially done, there is nothing left but to wish you all good luck."
"And in three…two…one…" The fox counted down. As soon as he was done, a black ball smashed through the window. As it flew through the room, it began to unfurl. Two kunai were thrown at the ceiling which held the thing up. It revealed itself to be a banner, along with a woman. Her hair was black with a blue tint to it, which she had done up in a short, spiky ponytail. Her eyes were purple and pupil-less. She wore a mesh suit that went from her thighs to her neck and was also form-fitting. She wore an orange mini-skirt and a tan overcoat along with the mesh suit. She wore a pendent around her neck, shin guards and her headband was worn around her forehead.
But before she could say anything, Naruto spoke first. "Ladies and gentlemen," He began in a loud voice. "Allow me to introduce our proctor for the second exam. She is a woman who can kick your ass six ways to Sunday and back using nothing but a dango stick and a smile. I give you the one, the only, ANKO MITARASHI!"
Anko couldn't say anything; she had been caught off guard. "Damn it, that was better than what I was planning to say!" She thought to herself (it was the only thing she could think).
"Anko, you're early." Inoichi told her as he stepped out from behind the banner.
"Again," Ibiki stated as he followed Inoichi.
"Sorry, I got excited." She told them. "But never mind me; you two did a fairly impressive job. Only eight teams left. And this was the biggest amount of Genin we've ever had for the Chūnin Exams."
"This wasn't all of us. Before we got here, half had left." Ino's father told her.
"What? How did that happen? Did they chicken out?"
"…In a sense." She followed his gaze and saw Naruto sitting in his seat with indifference.
"Hello, crazy snake lady." He said to her. "Are you going to molest me again?"
"I don't know." She replied, sounding like what he had said didn't embarrass her. "Are you going to act tough again?"
"I don't need to act now." He replied, completely confident.
"Oh? Are you sure about that?"
"Of course I am. And I've become a bit of a mind reader very recently. I can tell you what all the Genin here are thinking right now."
"And what is that?"
He wore a foxlike grin on his face. "They're thinking 'is she wearing a bra underneath that or not?'" The Genin all looked at him in surprise. That was what they were thinking. The boys were thinking it with hormones and lust mixed in. The girls were thinking it with equal parts shock, curiosity, and disgust. Zuko and Sokka simply thought the question with curiosity (they had girlfriends. If they had used any other kind of emotions in the thought process, they knew that the ladies would somehow find out). Akela really didn't see what the fuss was about.
If Anko wasn't blushing before, she was now. "Anyway, if you maggots want to get to the second exam, follow me!" She hurriedly strode out of the room, partly to get the second exam started and partly to avoid being caught off guard like that again. All of the Genin got up and followed her, the last being Team Avatar, who just sauntered out of the room.
After five minutes of silence, Ibiki looked over at a pair of Chūnins. "Cut that down, would you?" He told them, jerking his thumb at the banner. As they did that, he turned to Inoichi. "Might as well start collecting the papers," He said.
"Might as well." He agreed. They started at opposite ends of the room and worked their way through the rows. He reached for Naruto's paper, picked it up and saw that none of the questions were answered. "That's odd." He thought to himself. "I saw him write on the paper." Deciding to check the back, he flipped it over. His eyes widened as he looked over what was there. "Ibiki, you need to read this." He said. When he noticed that Ibiki was looking at two different papers, he hurried over. "What's the matter?"
"These are the papers for Naruto's teammates." Ibiki said.
"There's nothing on them." He noted, looking at the blank papers.
"What they wrote is on the back." He flipped them over. On the back of each paper was writing. It seemed that Sokka and Zuko had taken their particular sections of the room and had carefully written down how each person in their sections was cheating. There were also numbers, who was whose teammate and whether or not they were helping each other. For every Genin that had been failed, their number and descriptions were crossed out. "I can't help but be impressed. They managed to write all of that without us noticing."
"…I think you should take a look at Naruto's paper." He handed Ibiki said paper and he looked at it. On the back were the numbers for each candidate. But instead of knowing how they were cheating, the paper described the best way to kill each and every one of the candidates. It also took note of the Chūnin as well as him and Inoichi, but it was for incapacitating, not killing. What chilled them to the bone was what was written at the bottom:
Estimated duration of bloodbath once Chūnin and proctors are incapacitated: ten to fifteen minutes, depending on reactions and capability to defend oneself.
"This was written by the kid who didn't answer a single question the last time he took the exam?" Ibiki asked in disbelief.
"There's more." Inoichi told him, pointing at the very bottom of the paper. He looked at where he was pointing to and read what was there:
P.S.
Of course I wasn't going to kill them. I just wrote this out of sheer boredom.
"…Do you think we should show these to the Hokage?"
"It's probably for the best, even though they'll be destroyed once she sees them." Inoichi told him.
"Why would she do that?" He had never heard of an exam paper, failed or passed, being destroyed once the Hokage had finished reading it.
"Sorry, Ibiki, but that's classified. Only the Hokage and a select few know."
"And you're one of those few?"
"Yes."
He looked around to make sure the Chūnin weren't paying attention (obviously or subtly). "How serious is this?" He whispered.
"If we fail, the village might be destroyed."
"What exactly is this place?" Suigetsu asked as he looked past the fence. All he could see was a large forest.
"Welcome, boys and girls, to Training Ground Number 44, also known as the Forest of Death." Anko said in a cheery voice.
"You know." Sokka said as he looked at the forest. "I was honestly expecting something a little more original."
"You can't get everything you want, Sokka." Kurenai, who was the other proctor for the second exam, told him.
"Hey, I'm not complaining." He told her, also noticing that her pregnancy was much more obvious now.
"So tell me, Anko, how's the love life?" Naruto asked her.
"Why would you want to know?" She asked back.
"Well, I figured that you really didn't have one, considering the way you were molesting me last time." He remarked casually.
She huffed. "For your information, I happen to be seeing someone."
"…She's not kidding, is she?" He asked Kurenai.
"No, she's not."
"Is it seeing someone, or stalking someone?"
"Honestly? There are days when we're not sure."
"Who's the guy?"
"Your old instructor, Iruka Umino," She answered.
Dumbstruck, he looked at Anko, then back at Kurenai, back to Anko and then back to Kurenai. "…I don't know whether I should be happy for him, or pity him." He finally said.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Anko demanded.
"You heard me."
"Anyway," Kurenai said loudly, stopping the both of them from going any further. "Before we begin, we have something to hand out to you."
Anko pulled out a small stack of papers from inside her overcoat. "Before the exam begins, we will need you to read over and sign this consent form. Some of you will probably not make it out alive. We need your consent to that risk. Otherwise, it'll be on us." She told them all. That made everyone start whispering amongst themselves. Naruto, Sokka, and Zuko didn't. They just remembered the conclusion of last night's conversation.
(Flashback)
"The second exam will be a survival exam." Naruto told them. "They'll have us do the exam in the Forest of Death. In the center of the forest is a tower, which will be the goal."
"How do you know all of this, Naruto?" Zuko asked him. "You're describing what the proctors of each exam will do to us. You also know how each exam works. How can you know this stuff when you haven't been here for three years and spent the majority of the first day back in a jail or with someone else?"
"It depends on the person. Anyway, how I got the information is not important right now." He told them, waving it off. "What is important is what's going to happen."
"So what's going to happen?" Sokka asked.
"They'll make each of us sign a paper that says if we die in the forest, it's not their fault. Once we hand in those papers, we will be given either an Earth scroll or a Heaven scroll. As soon as we walk into that forest, we will have to hunt down any teams that have the second scroll we need while also protecting our own."
"I take it the scrolls are what we need to get into the tower?" Zuko asked.
"Correct. We'll also be given five days to get another scroll and get to the tower."
"So we will have five days to get a scroll and find the tower, is that it?" The only answer he got was a grin.
(End Flashback)
They had turned in the consent form and got an Earth scroll in return. They were then led to one of the gates surrounding the forest. As the time for the exam to begin got closer, the Chūnin with them opened up the gate. They kept checking the watches on their arms and when it was the top of the hour, they opened up the gate.
(Location: Kusa Team)
They charged into the forest at top speed. "So, who should we target first?" Jūgo asked.
"Who cares about that? I want to find Uzumaki." Suigetsu said with an evil grin.
"Ugh, we're in the middle of an exam, idiot." Karin told him with annoyance. "I know we have orders, but we don't have time for you to get your kicks."
"Shut up, woman!" He shouted at the redhead. "Uzumaki is the strongest person in these exams. I can almost hear Kubikiribōchō calling for his blood."
"Are you sure it's not yourself that's calling for his blood?" Jūgo asked him.
"You're one to talk, Jūgo. We both saw what you were going to do before those proctors showed up."
"I'm not denying that didn't happen. It's because of that I believe we should not go after Naruto Uzumaki right now."
"What about our orders?"
"Lord Orochimaru's information on him was limited and outdated. We knew that going into this."
"Yeah, but that's why Lord Orochimaru sent you with us." Karin pointed out. "He knew that you might be able to level the playing field against him."
"And looked what happened to me when I almost lost control. He gave me one look and I was scared. No, scared is too gentle of a word. I was terrified of him." The other two just looked at him. They had never thought that Jūgo of all people would be terrified of someone when he got like that. "It would be for the best if we waited and observed him and his team before following our orders."
"…Hmph, fine," Suigetsu muttered. "Then let's go find a Heaven scroll."
(Location: Team Avatar)
They walked into the forest, completely calm. Once they were out of sight of the gate, they stopped. Akela kept watch. "So, did it work?" Zuko asked Naruto.
"Of course it worked." He answered with a grin, pulling a Heaven scroll. "They had an abundance of them due to the fact they expected more Genin. I made the clone beforehand. He snuck inand took the scroll."
"But how did he know which scroll to take?"
"They had a list." He answered shortly, putting the scroll back. "Anyway, now we need to get to the tower."
"So what, we just walk in a straight line?" Sokka asked. He looked around, trying to see where to go from there. But all he could see was a lot of huge trees. If he hadn't been to the Foggy Swamp, he would've been impressed by the size of the trees.
"It's that, or we can climb to the top of the trees. Once up there, I make more clones and then make them throw us at the tower."
"They can do that?" The Tribesman asked, surprised by that little piece of information.
"If you want them do."
"…Let's just stick to walking. It never hurt anyone, right?"
"If that's the case, we won't be walking." He looked in the general direction of the tower. "It's about six miles or so to the tower. We want to get this over with quickly. We run." He looked back at them. "Are there any complaints?"
"Are you actually going to listen to them if we tell you we have them?" Zuko asked him.
"Probably not," He admitted.
"Then why bother?"
"Relax, it's only six miles. Also, I know where I'm going." He took off and they followed. They ran for six miles at a dead run. By the time they had reached the tower, Naruto was lightly sweating. "There, you see? It wasn't that bad." He pulled out another cigarette and lit it.
Sokka, on the other hand, was panting heavily. "I think…riding Appa…made me a bit…lazy." He admitted. Akela rolled his eyes when he heard that.
Zuko was a little better, but not by much. "Well…are we here?"
Naruto looked at the door. "Yeah, we're here. And we lucked out too. This is the door we're supposed to go through as well." He grabbed hold of the door handles and opened it. "Come on guys." He said as he walked through the door. After a moment of getting their breath back, they followed.
What they saw was a big room. At the end of room was a board with a poem written on it. But they didn't pay attention to it. They were paying more attention to the guy standing against the wall underneath the poem. "Jiraiya," Naruto greeted shortly as he blew out smoke.
"Naruto," He said. He walked towards them a bit, stopping a few feet in front of them. "I take it you have the scrolls."
"They're right here." The blonde pulled out the scrolls and tossed them at him.
"Congratulations." He said as he grabbed the scrolls out of the air. "You passed the second exam in forty five minutes. You've beaten the old record by fifty-two minutes."
"Yay," Naruto said flatly.
"So what happens now?" Zuko asked the old shinobi.
"Well, normally I'd explained what the poem behind is supposed to mean, but Naruto already knows it and you two…" Akela growled slightly. "Sorry, you three aren't shinobi. There's also the part where Tsunade tells you the true purpose about the exams before letting you off for a month so you can train for the third exam."
"A month?!" repeated Sokka, thinking of the Comet. "We're going to cut it that close!?"
"It looks that way." Naruto told him before looking back at Jiraiya. "So we're gonna have to wait five days before listening to the spiel?"
"No. You're going to get right to the training."
"And who's going to train us?"
"Me."
"Oh great, our training will be frequently interrupted by peeping time." He groaned.
"Believe me, gaki." Jiraiya said with a completely serious face. "There will be no peeping with anyone on anybody during this training session." He dropped the scrolls to the ground and walked past them. "Follow me."
(Location: Konoha Eleven building)
Aang, Azula, Toph, Suki, and Katara, along with Momo, spent the day with the Konoha Eleven in the apartment building. "So how long are these Exams supposed to be?" Katara asked as they sat in the living room.
"Well, the first Exam is only an hour." Ino explained.
"But the second Exam could last up to five days." Kiba continued.
"And the third Exam is a month later." Neji finished.
"We're going to be here for a month?!" Aang repeated. "We don't have the time for that!"
"I'm sorry." Hinata said apologetically. "But that's the way it is."
"Let's just hope that Sokka and the others made it through the first Exam." The Air Nomad said, making it sound like a prayer.
"They'll be fine." Chōji assured him.
"Yeah, if anything, Naruto's luck will get them through." Kiba said with a laugh.
Katara, Aang, and Toph shared a confused look. "How will Naruto's luck make them succeed?" Katara asked.
"Naruto's luck is almost legendary around here." Tenten explained. "He once won the jackpot in a casino with a coin he found on the ground."
"That would explained why he never went to a gambling hall." Azula mused to herself.
"You know of Naruto's most youthful luck." Lee asked her with a curious look in his eyes.
"Once he decided to stay, he would often play gambling games with people." She replied. "After a while, they stopped playing for money with him. Every time they did, he would always manage to win. He was also good at knowing at who was scamming and who was cheating."
They heard a chuckle come from the doorway. "That gaki's got the luck of the gods. Wish I had that." A voice said.
They all turned around to see who it was, the Konoha Eleven all stood up when they did. "Lady Tsunade, what are you doing here?" Ino asked.
The members of Team Avatar all took a look at the Hokage. She was a tall woman with blonde hair in two loose ponytails that reached the back of her waist and brown eyes. On her forehead was a small purple diamond mark. She wore a green jacket over a grey blouse. The blouse was held closed by a dark bluish-grey obi that was the same color of her pants. But what got the attention of Katara, Azula and surprisingly Toph, was what the blouse held. She had the largest bust they had ever seen. When they saw them, they couldn't help but feel a little jealous. "I'm here to pass on some news." She told them.
"Is it about Naruto and his team?" Hinata asked her.
"Yes."
"How troublesome," Shikamaru muttered. "Did they fail already?"
"No, quite the opposite, they have passed both the first and the second Exam already."
"How can that be?" Shino asked. "The first Exam only lasted an hour, but how could they finish the second Exam on the first day?"
"Hey, you're forgetting that we finished on the first day too, Shino." Kiba told him. "Only the Sand Siblings beat us there."
"And that is something interesting." Tsunade said, getting their attention once more. "Naruto's team beat the Sand Siblings' record."
"How much did they beat it by?" Neji asked.
"Fifty two minutes."
That stunned everyone. "They finished the second exam in forty five minutes? How?" asked Ino.
"Are you a proctor for the Chūnin Exams, Ino?" The Hokage asked her with a pointed tone of voice.
"No." She answered.
"Then I can't tell you."
"Can't, or won't?" Shikamaru asked. She ignored him and he didn't push it.
"Where are Naruto and the others now?" Azula asked Tsunade.
"They will be spending the month training. You won't be able to see them for the duration of that time." She answered shortly.
"Is this part of the whole Exam thing?" Toph asked.
"No, this is because their trainer will require nothing but their complete and undivided attention."
"Who will be training them?" Katara asked.
"Jiraiya," She answered.
"Well, that can't be too bad. I'm sure that Jiraiya will be fair to them." The Waterbender remarked.
Tsunade snorted in derision when she heard that. "Kid, you don't know him."
"What do you mean, Lady Tsunade?" Hinata asked.
"Jiraiya has only trained one Genin squad and it's not because he's picky. He has only trained one Genin squad because they were the only Genin squad able to survive his training." She told all of them. "I tried it once and I never want to do it again. I don't think I could survive another round of it."
"Is Lord Jiraiya that bad?" Chōji asked. The Hokage saying that even she would survive the training was either a cause for awe or worry.
"When he's really serious about the training, he will demand nothing but perfection. He is a sadist when it comes to that." She told all of them.
Aang, Azula, Toph and Katara all shared the same thought. "What kind of torture are they going to go through?"
End
Author's note: Thank you for all the reviews you have sent me.
First off, what Naruto said to both Sokka and Zuko wasn't just for their sakes. If you want read a story where Naruto completely destroys Konoha, there are a dime a dozen out there. And I'm willing to bet that most of them have never written about the ramifications of that or have put in a quick solution.
The Land of Fire is one of the Five Great Shinobi Countries. Please take a closer look at the word Shinobi! That means the Land of Fire is a great country because of Konoha. If Naruto destroys Konoha, the Land of Fire will be ruined and that creates a power vacuum, which in turns will eventually cause a war! I'd like think that after being taught by the Kyūbi, Naruto has gained some sense of being political savvy.
Yes, I have made Naruto a smoker. Like he said in the last chapter, he needs it after putting up with Team Avatar and especially with Aang. I would like to thank Fan of Fanfics21 for the idea.
Yes, Suigetsu, Karin and Jūgo are in as well and we all know who they work for. Did you really think I was going to make him go through the Chūnin Exams for the fun of it? Trust me, I've got something cooking. That's also why he going through the same Exams as before, just without the preliminaries. You'll see.
As for who makes to the final Exam, you'll find out when we get there.
For the record, I was actually seriously considering having them be thrown in the direction of the tower. Also, six miles is ten kilometers. Getting there in forty five minutes in a run is not impossible.
I'll see you all next chapter!