A/N—Hi guys! This is actually pretty short chapter that wraps up the meeting with Paul (which James walked out of to think). I decided to break before starting the next section because it's a lot to deal with for them. That will hopefully be up later this week. Depends on how my next day off goes. Thanks for reading!

Kendall was starting to worry when James hadn't returned after ten minutes. "I'm gonna go find him."

Paul nodded, and Kendall was halfway to the door when it opened and James slipped in. He'd been crying. Kendall's heart bled and he reached for James, who ignored the outstretched arms and moved to his seat.

So this was it. He'd definitely ruined it. Fear turned his insides to ice. Was his presence in the room even wanted anymore?

"Babe? You gonna join us? Time is money."

Back still to the table, Kendall almost fainted with relief. He took a deep breath and then turned to find James' eyes on him. The expression was unreadable, taking Kendall back to those two years in which he'd never known what James was thinking, but at least it wasn't hatred or anger.

James waited for Kendall to sit, keeping his hands clasped in his lap to say, "So here's what I want to do. You did say Noah wouldn't be in the room, right? That's for sure?"

"It's rare that the child is in the actual room, yes. Sometimes a judge will ask for the child to be present only long enough to question him or her, or the judge will take the child aside into his chambers if he feels the child won't speak freely in front of parents. I can pretty much guarantee that Noah won't be in the room."

"Okay," James nodded. "Then my plan is this. We go ahead and use Logan's testimony. We use the schoolwork. We make it clear that Noah does not consider her part of his life, because as he himself stated..." Now there was a glare Kendall's way. "...Gramma is bad. So you can sit here and tell me he loves his grandmother all you want, but it came from his own mouth, Kendall. Gramma is bad. I will do anything in my power to keep him away from her. As long as that's what he wants."

"Understood," Paul said. "So then—"

"However."

Paul went quiet again, waiting for James to continue.

"Kendall isn't wrong to say that Noah is afraid of hurting me. That kid's smart, way smarter than me, and he knows I'm going to see that schoolwork eventually. He's smart enough to write what he wants me to see, and I admit that he probably didn't think of her as bad until we opened his eyes to the fact that she's filled his head with lies over the years. The only person he's been completely open and honest with in all of this is Kendall. Is there a way I can arrange for him to talk to Kendall before we file anything? So I get the truth from my son about what he wants?"

"Unfortunately, that's not possible. Not since Kendall was named in the petition as someone damaging to Noah," Paul explained.

"Okay. Then I just have to go with what feels right to me. We use Logan's testimony. We use the schoolwork. We state that I'm concerned that him living with his grandmother will ruin his life the way it did Shannon's. But we also say that in spite of that, I'm willing to allow them to have him one weekend a month because I know that my son does love his grandparents and I don't want to deny him the one link he has left to his mother. All I want is for my son to be happy. Plus it makes me look good, like you said."

"It does," Paul agreed. "And we'll make sure that the judge understands just how much influence Sherry has had over Noah's beliefs about you as a person. How much she's lied and will most likely continue to lie."

"Just as long as she doesn't have enough time with him to make him believe all of that again," James worried. "Because I can't handle my son hating me or being afraid of me."

"He won't," Kendall promised softly. "He knows now, James. Like you said, he's smart. I've tried to make him understand that it's important to decide things for himself. He loves you and that won't change."

Not putting any stock in Kendall's comments, James continued, "And he won't know what's said in the courtroom, right? Like the fact that if he does come to live with me, Kendall probably won't be there. He won't know that until after the hearing?"

Kendall wasn't following. "What does that have to—"

"Because if he knows that, he might not even want to live with me anymore." James' voice shook, his arms across his chest and his gaze nowhere near Kendall.

"James—"

"Kendall, you know I'm right." When James blinked rapidly, a few tears squeezed out. "Without you there, we're nothing."

"Jesus Christ, James, he loves you for you. It's not about me!"

"I think in time we could be okay without you, but for now it's going to be rough and—"

"Okay, hold on," Paul interjected. "James, you're working yourself up over something that might not even happen."

It was true, he was falling apart and when Kendall reached out for him, he didn't fight it this time. He let Kendall wrap him up tightly. "Listen to me," Kendall whispered. "He loves so many things about you and about living with you. I know we're a family but...you're his dad. He feels safe with you now. He knows you'll take care of him. It's gonna be okay, babe. With or without me, you two are a family and he wants to be with you."

"You're the one who makes him feel safe."

"So do you. I promise, you're enough on your own. He would still choose you over them."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. One hundred percent. Remember? 'Daddy is fun.' He loves your tacos and your airplane spins and how you do the voices in stories."

"He loves her corn."

"Please, she's got nothing on you," Kendall chuckled. "You've got Uncle Logan and planets on the wall. And all the books he could ever want."

"I guess that's true," James sniffed.

"Just let him watch his educational television and cook him dinner. And maybe let him win at Candy Land. You know what the best thing is that you have to offer?"

"You?"

"No, not me. School. He's not gonna gets swings and slides and Zavey at Grandma's house. He's not gonna get interaction with other kids or a normal life. He's seen what that's like now, babe. He won't want to go back to the old life. I mean, he already spent a day there and said he wants to come back to you."

"To us."

"To your home. His home. Just have a little more confidence in yourself as a dad. I promise, you are enough, James."

"Okay." James used the new tissue that Kendall passed him. "Sorry," he said to Paul and Tracy. "I swear I'm not like this all the time."

"You're going through a lot," Tracy said kindly. "It's hard to hold on sometimes."

"He's just...he's everything to me. I want to be that to him. I want to give him the world."

"We'll go with your plan," Paul stated. "I think it is important to show that she's not good for Noah, but it's just as important to show that you're willing to give a little for your son's sake."

"That's what we'll do then." James sat up straighter. Kendall let go. "So what did Logan say?"

They moved on to that, getting back on track, and by the time the meeting was done James felt confident that he'd regain custody of his son. Kendall agreed.

What Kendall wasn't sure of was where he and James stood at this point.

For the third day in a row, they closed themselves in the car after an emotional meeting with Paul. Kendall knew James was barely holding on and insisted on taking the wheel.

James said nothing, only tossed Kendall the keys before settling in and closing his eyes.

Kendall moved to start the car but dropped his hand to his lap instead. He needed to know they were okay. "Can we talk about it?" he tried hesitantly.

There was no reply.

"Please. I don't like this feeling, and we just agreed to be open with each other and communicate. Don't shut me out. Yell at me if you need to."

"I'm not gonna yell at you," James sighed, still not opening his eyes. "I'm trying to understand."

"Which part?"

"The part where you completely went against everything we've talked about from the moment I took Noah in. You know she's a monster. You know she'll stop at nothing to keep him from me." When Kendall didn't deny that, James shifted to look at him and continued, "And what I know is that you wouldn't have said those things if they weren't true. I trust you, so much that rather than yell at you that you're wrong, what I'm trying to do is understand why you would say that and where your head is."

Well, that was a relief at least—and more mature than Kendall would have expected from his fiance; James really was trying to be a better person. "My head is with Noah. I wish I'd talked to him more about his grandparents so I could get a better feel for what he really wants."

"But he's made it clear that what he wants is to live with me."

"I know, babe, and he will. That's not the issue here. What I don't want to do is keep him from his grandparents, for all of the reasons I said in that conference room. He misses Shannon, I know he does. When I asked him about her in that collage, he could barely even look at me. There are so many feelings he can't put into words."

"How is spending a weekend with them going to help that?"

"Because they all lived through it together. Their home is the place where probably all of his memories of Shannon took place. And what you said is true—Grandma wasn't 'bad' until we made her that way."

"Oh, she was always bad," James spat.

"But he didn't know that. It's like...growing up with abuse and thinking it's normal because you don't know any different. Then suddenly you find out that it's not okay for parents to beat up their kids and it changes your entire perspective."

James rubbed a hand over his eyes as if he was too tired to think anymore. Kendall turned on the car, more than ready to get James home and in bed so he could give his mind a rest.

They'd turned out of the parking garage when James said, "I didn't know that about you. I thought we were the same, that our dads took off and never looked back. Your dad tried to win custody?"

A sound that was close to a snort escaped Kendall. "Not because he actually wanted us."

James frowned while studying Kendall. "Why else would he fight for you?"

"Because he didn't want to pay Mom child support. He knew if she had custody, he'd have to do that. He went to court to fight for money. Mom went to court to fight for us."

"And won, I'm assuming."

"Yep," Kendall nodded. "The judge offered him two weekends a month and he said was 'too busy to be a good father.'"

"What the hell? He wanted you guys full-time but two weekends a month was too much?"

"Yeah, because he never really wanted us. He just wanted the money Mom would be paying him if he'd won. Once he lost, he couldn't be bothered with us."

"Babe." A hand snaked over to find Kendall's. "He's nuts. I don't know Katie at all, but any dad who wouldn't want you is absolutely mental. If Noah turns out even half as great as you are, I'd consider that an accomplishment."

The sentiment touched Kendall, who realized that maybe James wasn't the only one so tired that his emotions were taking over. He had to blink tears away. "I'd really love the chance to help that happen. To be a role model for him."

"You already are."

"I know, I just...I hope it doesn't end here. And...Katie's pretty fantastic. Just keep in mind that she meets all my boyfriends with the attitude of 'Nobody is good enough for my big brother' and don't take it personally if she comes off as a bitch. It's her default until she gets to know someone."

A smile tugged at James' lips. "Somehow all of that makes me like her even more. She's protective of you. And she's right."

"About?"

"Nobody's good enough for you. One of my biggest fears is that one day you'll wake up and realize how much better you can do than me."

Kendall shook his head slowly. "It kills me when you say things like that. When you talk like you're not worthy of good things. You are, James. You're a good man and a good father, and the best partner I could ask for in life. You've got it all, babe."

"Well, if nothing else, I've got you fooled."

"James," Kendall chuckled. He lifted James' hand and kissed it. "Stop it, you're exactly what I need. When I think about how much I was missing before without even—"

"Hold that thought." James slipped his hand free to reach into a pocket for his ringing phone. "It might be Paul." He gasped when he saw the display and hissed, "It's Noah!"

"Put it on speaker!" Kendall wasted no time finding a place to pull over, not wanting to miss a second of the conversation.

"Hello?"

"Daddy?"

"Hi, baby!" James didn't have to fake the excitement in his voice, face lit up to match. "I miss you!"

"Grandpa said I can't talk long."

"Okay, I understand. Is Grandma home?"

"She's outside. In the garden. She grows vegetables."

"Oh, that's..." Trying to remember what Kendall said, that Grandma wasn't always a monster in Noah's mind, James finished, "That's nice. How are you?"

"Okay. Are you okay?"

"I'm great, baby. Kendall's taking good care of me."

"I told him to! Is he there?"

"I'm here." He had a tough time speaking over the lump in his throat. "Hi, buddy."

"Hi! Grandpa made me hot chocolate but it wasn't as yummy as yours."

Kendall grinned. "I just have the magic touch, I guess. You're doing good? Everything's okay?"

"Yeah." Kendall's eyes narrowed because he heard something off in Noah's voice. The reason became clear in the next sentence. "Grandma said I can't go home."

"Noah," James sighed. "Don't believe that. Your grandma wants you to live there, and I understand that, but I want you home with me. Remember, if anyone asks you where you want to live, tell the truth." He hesitated before adding, "Whatever that is. If you want to stay there, tell the judge that."

"No, I want to live with you and Kendall!"

James bit his lip.

"I have to go, she's coming! Bye, Daddy!"

"Fuck," James muttered under his breath.

"Bye, Noah," Kendall squeezed in. "We love you."

The line went dead. "I didn't say goodbye," James pouted.

"There wasn't time, he probably didn't even hear what I said. You okay?"

"That was nothing, like what...two seconds? I can't do this, Kendall. I can't fucking handle two seconds with my son. It just makes me miss him more."

"He'll be home in a few days. I can't promise that everything will work out the way we want it to, but that much I can almost guarantee."

"Almost isn't good enough. I know you don't understand why I'm insisting on painting her as a bad guardian, but—"

"Oh, I understand it. I've always understood it, James."

Frustration mounted on James' face. "You do?"

"Of course. You want to make sure she has no chance of getting him in the future. You said that earlier. And I understand your fears."

"Then why are you fighting me on this?"

"I told you why. Noah needs his grandparents. His true grandparents."

James studied him shrewdly. "This is about your dad, isn't it?"

"What? It has nothing to do with my dad."

"It does. I don't know how, but somehow your past is affecting your feelings on this."

"Babe, my past affects my feelings on everything. It's the reason I'm in school to be an attorney in the first place." At a cocked eyebrow from James, Kendall amended, "Was in school. It's the reason I want Noah to have the option of being with family who actually wants him."

Clarity dawned in James' eyes. "Oh. Oh my god, I get it. You never had that with your dad. So you don't want Noah to throw that chance away, to be with family who loves him. Because deep down, you know he loves them, too."

Kendall's reply was a glare.

"Babe. You still love your dad, don't you?"

"We're not talking about me." Kendall pulled out into traffic, gaze straight ahead.

"Do you ever talk to him?"

"Nope."

"How long has it been?"

"Long enough that I know he doesn't care. If he did, he would've reached out."

"Did you reach out?"

Kendall shrugged, uncomfortable with the questions.

"Did you?" James tried gently.

"Yeah." Speaking so quietly James had to strain to hear him, Kendall added, "A few times. It never went anywhere. There was always an excuse. I finally gave up."

"Hey." James moved his seatbelt aside so that he could lay his head on Kendall's shoulder. "Like I said, he's an idiot. Anybody who could walk away from you is just...unbelievably stupid."

"I'm glad you think so." Kendall kissed James' temple. "Now fix that seatbelt, I need you safe."

James grinned but followed the instruction, his smile dying as his eyes fell on the car seat in the back. "Every time I see that thing, I get sad."

"Want me to take it out?"

"No. We'll need it to bring Noah home Tuesday."

Kendall nodded, his heart lifting at the confidence in James' tone. "And we'll need to get a second one, for my car. So we don't have to move it back and forth between them."

"Damn right, we will."

Both knew it might not happen, that Noah would possibly never sit in this car again and probably not even see Kendall's car; they'd silently and mutually decided to believe things would work out.

It was the only way to get through this.