Author notes: And this one wraps up the Weasleys
Severus looked at the red-headed girl standing seductively behind his desk.
"Okay, why exactly are you coming on to me?" Severus asked, "I mean, in the six years that you've been at this school we've had literally nothing to do with each other."
"Oh," Ginny replied, adjusting her pose to show off her flat-chestedness, "I just didn't want to be the only person in my family not to have come on to you."
"What about Percy?" Severus asked, "Or Charlie or Bill or Fleur?"
Ginny giggled suggestively, she reached between her A-cups and pulled out her (suspiciously shaped) wand. She pointed it at a large cupboard on the wall beside her.
The doors opened and Percy stepped out, holding a box of chocolate cream-filled penises. Ginny pointed her wand at another cupboard, Charlie walked out wearing a set of very Chapter 5, 7 and 37ish clothes. Ginny pointed her wand at a third cupboard, Bill and Fleur walked out, brandishing whips and dressed in nothing but thongs and nipple tassels.
The Weasleys all struck seductive poses.
"GET OUT!" Snape roared.
As the Weasleys filed out of his office, Hermione, who had returned her breasts to their original size after she found it physically impossible to read, edged her way in, smiling sweetly.
Severus huffed, "Am I the only person in the world to have had the entire Weasley family come on to me?"
"Oh no," Hermione said sympathetically, "Dumbledore had exactly the same problem."
Severus gagged.
"You should just be glad that their Aunt Muriel hasn't come on to you yet." Hermione said smiling.
"Eugh, I thought she was dead," Severus said.
"She is," Hermione said, "But that doesn't seem to stop many people, now does it?"