Sorry it's taken me so long to update recently. Life has been busy. Hopefully you enjoy this next chapter. I'll try to post more quickly again. Please review. I need to hear from you!

Chapter 38

Once again Harry found himself waiting in the plan white halls of St. Mungos. His head was bent and is body was slumped in a chair. Exhaustion pulsed in his muscles. It had been two hours since Lyn had disappeared behind the doors. The anxiety was eating him alive. He shot up and began pacing. Finally, he heard the doors open and Healer Stevens approached him. Harry quickly moved to him with a tired and worried look. "Mr. Potter, your wife is stable."

Harry let out his breath in a great sigh and said, "I need to see her. What happened to her?"

The Healer put a steadying hand on Harry's shoulder. "Please take a seat."

Harry didn't want to sit. He wanted to act. He wanted to see his wife. He just wanted the Healer to spout out what had happened and take him to her. The need to see Lyn breathing and alive was pressing in on him, making it difficult for him to focus. "No, I need to see her."

The Healer's voice became firm, "No, Mr. Potter, not yet. You need to hear what I have to say. Please sit."

Harry reluctantly let his legs bend and sat down. The Healer sat in a chair next to him. With a tired and sad face Stevens said, "Before you see your wife you need to know her condition."

"Has the curse-" Harry said frantically.

"The curse," Stevens interrupted him, "The curse is progressing through your wife's system as we expected it to. However, it is not the curse that caused this episode. Not directly that is."

Harry was confused. For so many weeks it had been the curse that had been the root of all of Lyn's physical pain and problems. Having the Healer tell him that Lyn's near death experience was not a direct resolute of that was not easy for Harry to wrap his head around. "What do you mean?"

Stevens sighed, "Unfortunately, I must inform you that your wife has had a miscarriage."

Harry sat in bewilderment for a moment as the Healers words penetrated his tired brain. He shook his head slightly and said, "She…she was…we were…"

"Yes, she was pregnant. She was about ten to twelve weeks along. I'm very sorry."

Harry's brain felt numb. He didn't know what to say. He suddenly felt like he had lost something. Something he didn't know he had but which he desperately wanted. A deep ache seemed to be forming in his chest. He had lost a child. Lyn had lost a child. Their child. He didn't know…had Lyn known? He turned and with a shaky voice asked, "Did she know? I mean did she know she…"

"No. Your wife was unaware she was pregnant until this evening. I believe she thought the symptoms she was experiencing were from the curse."

Harry stood and raked his hands through his wild hair, breathing in deeply and letting out an anguished moan as he paced the hall. "What happened?"

Stevens stood and said in a professional tone, "The curse is indeed moving into her abdominal region. Because of this, her body reacted and caused her uterus to contract, causing the miscarriage. There was nothing anyone could have done. There was no chance that your baby was going to make it to full term. I'm so sorry."

Harry felt hot tears press on his eyes. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. He suddenly felt angry and pressed his fist against the wall in frustration. Another thing he had lost. Add losing a child to the long list of things that had been taken from him because of this damned war. His wife was fighting for her life and no one knew how to save her. Now he had lost a child. It didn't matter that he didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. It had been his. He could have had another child to call his own. Lily would have gotten to be a big sister. Lyn would have been able to cradle another baby to her breast. But no, it was not to be. Harry had been robbed of part of his happiness. These thoughts made the ache in his heart grow and his thoughts immediately returned to Lyn. Harry heaved, "How is she?"

"She has lost a significant amount of blood. It was lucky you got her to us as quickly as you did. We have given her several blood replenishing potions and she is on concentrated pain potions. She is comfortable. I have to warn you that she is quite distraught."

Harry scoffed at these last words. Distraught was an understatement. If Lyn was feeling half the anger, grief and heart ache he was she was in complete agony. Harry knew she was probably blaming herself. He had to see her. He had to hold her. Harry moved toward the door but Stevens but a hand on his arm and stopped him.

"I think I should also tell you that we believe it is best for her to stay here. Now that the curse had entered her abdomen her symptoms will become…more difficult to handle. And with her currently low blood count it would be safer for her to remain here so we can better treat her pain as well as her overall health."

Harry nodded. He was listening but he didn't want to think about what the Healer had said. He just wanted to see his wife. Finally, the Healer led him through the door and into a side room. The room was bare and sterile. The walls were white, as was everything else. In the small bed in the center of the room, Harry saw Lyn. She was lying on her back, her brown locks flowing out around her, her head was tilted to the side. He could not see her face fully. Her skin was pale but Harry noticed a bit of color in cheeks. She looked small and fragile in the bed. Harry approached her bedside and gently reached out to touch her arm. Lyn moved her head slowly toward him and Harry saw her blue eyes swimming with tears. Her voice was nothing but an agonizing whisper, "Our baby. Harry…" Lyn chocked on a sob, "We lost out baby." Lyn was overcome by her grief and her body quaked. Harry let his own tears fall as he curled up next to her on the bed and held her close. They didn't speak. Curled in one another's arms they cried out their grief together. When Lyn's silent sobs seemed to subside and her breathing evened out, she said in a subdued voice, "I'm sorry Harry."

Harry immediately squeezed her tightly and then shifted so he could look at her clearly. "This is not your fault. There was nothing anyone could do. I'm just glad you are alright. You gave me such a scare. When I saw you so pale…" Harry shuddered involuntarily.

Lyn reached to kiss his cheek. "I'm still here my love. I don't give up easily."

Harry kissed her gently and when he pulled away he saw she was tearful. "Shhh, is alright."

In a shaky voice Lyn said softly, "I just feel like there is a hole in my heart now. I didn't even now I was pregnant. Didn't occur to me at all. We never talked about having more kids. And yet…I feel like…. I just….I lost something I didn't know I wanted. Now, I'm so… it was our baby…I wanted to give you a child." Lyn stopped herself not knowing how to go one.

Harry saw the anguish in her eyes and said simply, "You gave me a child. And even if she's the only one we ever have, she's perfect. I feel the same way… there's an emptiness were our baby should be in my heart. But it will heal."

Lyn buried her face in his chest and let more of her tears flow freely. When Lyn had once again settled Harry asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Soar, tired,…they won't let me go home." Lyn said softly.

Harry gently caressed her cheek and looked into her beautiful eyes. "I know my love. It's going to be alright. We will figure this out. I promise to come every day to see you." Harry gave her smile and said, "I need to make sure you aren't causing too much havoc around here." His humor worked and he was rewarded as a smile graced Lyn's face.

"Please bring Lily. I don't want her to be scared. I want to see her….more now than ever. I need to hold my daughter." Lyn said with yearning.

"I promise. Tomorrow she'll be in this bed with you. Probably, talking your ear off and reading you a story." Harry said warmly.

Lyn sighed, "I hate not being there with you; with her. I may go crazy in here."

Harry tried to reassure her, "I know, but at least they can manage the pain better here. I'll be sure to bring a few things from home for you." Harry kissed her on the forehead.

The next day Harry and Lily came to visit and Harry was pleased to find Lyn had some color in her face, her eyes were bright. Lily quickly jumped up on the bed with her mother. "Mama, I miss you."

Harry saw Lyn's eyes become glossy with unshed tears as she pulled her daughter into her arms. He knew she was thinking about the baby they had lost and the future that was so uncertain. "I missed you too little flower."

"Mama bedder now?"

"I feel much better now."

"You come home?"

Lyn glanced to Harry and he quickly jumped in and said, "Remember we talked about this Lily. Mama needs to stay here so the doctors can keep helping her feel better."

Lily frowned and said, "But she bedder."

"I am feeling better little flower, but mama is still sick and needs to stay here for a little while." Lyn forced a smile to cross her lips.

Lily thought about this a moment, "Healer help you get bedder?"

"Yes, dear." Lily said.

Lily sighed in resignation, "Alright. But I come to see you lots."

Lyn gave a little laugh and said, "Yes! You better do that!"

The little family spent a happy couple of hours together before it was time to part. Harry saw Lyn's face dim as he kissed her goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow my love."

Lyn gave him a small smile and then pulled on Harry's tie, bringing him down to her and kissed him deeply. Harry was taken back by the unexpected movement but fell happily into the kiss as his lips met hers. As they pulled apart a small voice said happily, "Mama loves daddy." Both Lyn and Harry laughed at their daughters statement.

"Indeed she does," replied Harry.

"Don't you forget it," Lyn teased.

"Not a chance of that with the way you kiss," Harry responded playfully.

"Too much for you?" Lyn smirked.

"On the contrary, I have always enjoyed your… enthusiasm," Harry winked at her and kissed her again before picking up his daughter and waving goodbye.

A couple of weeks had gone by. Harry was sitting in the hall talking with the doctor. He was being updated on Lyn's condition. The curse was now beginning to affect Lyn's lungs and she was on new potions to keep them clear and help her breath without too much difficulty. Lily was in the hospital room with her mother. Harry finished talking to the doctor and opened the door to Lyn's room. He looked to the other side of the room and smiled. The walls were covered with paper drawings. The art work was all done in crayon. Lily had spent a lot of time making pictures so that her mother would have something pretty to look at. Harry stood quietly at the door watching his small daughter. She was cuddled up on the bed with a book in her hands. It was one of her favorites and she knew most of it by heart. Lily was reading, or rather reciting, what she remembered of the book to her mother who had her arm around her, listening intently. Most of what his daughter was saying was a jumble of random thoughts with the occasional word and sentence that went along with the books pictures. Harry loved his daughter. She had the same brightness in her as Lyn did. Before she was born Harry knew that he would love her, but he hadn't been prepared how much. He had never told Lyn his fear of not being a good father. He had been very nervous about it. But as he listened to her small voice, he knew he must have done something right. The thought of raising her alone made his eyes sting and his heart pound. His gaze traveled to his wife. She looked tired. The medicine wasn't relieving the pain the way it had a couple weeks ago. Harry knew that Lyn was in constant pain in varying degrees. It was almost too much to see her growing so weak. She hid it well for their daughter but Harry could tell. Her face was pale and thin, and the sparkle in her eyes wasn't noticeable much these days. Too often he detected fear and pain in her cobalt eyes. There were no developments as yet in the way of a cure. Harry was feeling increasingly worried.

Harry approached the other side of the room and was greeted with a small smile from Evelyn. He sat down next to the bed and held Lyn's hand, which trembled slightly.

"Thank you for the story Lily. I loved it!" Evelyn said, bending down to kiss the top of her daughters head. "Are you being a good girl for daddy and Aunt Hermione?" Ron and Hermione had been a great help during the whole ordeal and were as close as family.

"Yes, mama. You come home?" the small voice asked with expectant green eyes.

Lyn's eyes struggled to keep back the tears as she replied, "Hopefully, soon sweetie." Harry could hear the slight wheeze in her his wife's breathing.

"Good. I want mama make pancakes," Lily confessed.

Lyn smiled softly, "Well, when I get home I'll make you all the yummy pancakes you can eat. How does that sound?" The little girl smiled excitedly and kissed her mother's cheek.

"Lily it's time to let mama rest now," Harry said.

Lily hugged her mother tightly, "I love you mama"

"I love you too sweetheart," Lyn replied as she swallowed past the lump in her throat.

Harry and Lyn didn't speak. Harry lifted his hand and gently wiped away a tear that had run down Lyn's cheek.

"We still have time," Harry whispered in her ear. Evelyn nodded, kissed him and watched him carry their daughter out the door. She sighed as pain throbbed in her lower body and bit her lip to keep from shedding more tears. Lyn pushed away the unpleasant, and hopeless thoughts that threatened to consume her. Taking a deep and slightly painful, rattling breath she let her body fall into a peaceful slumber.