Author's Note: I'm a sucker for rewriting 'Funk', mostly because I'm convinced RIB were aware that, unless they had Jesse fuck up in a majorly spectacular way, no one would ever ship Finchel again after season 1. I've already done it once (in a story called 'There's nothing you can do'), but here I am doing it again.

This is really short and I'm sorry, but my muse has been a bitch with inspiration lately.

Summary: What if, instead of egging (no pun intended) Jesse on, Rachel actually tried to convince him not to do it?

Disclaimer: Song is Phil Collins' Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now), which, since it was a song I dreamed of Rachel singing to Jesse, they obviously gave to someone else. Title is from Katy Perry's The One That Got Away (yet another song I hoped got the St. Berry treatment in Glee). Glee and its characters belong to Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan and Brad Falchuk. Also to FOX.

here, there, everywhere

#38: in another life, I would make you stay

(so I don't have to say you were the one that got away)

Even though she knows she made a pathetic sight, all covered in egg yolks and whites, she can't tear her eyes away from him. He's standing right in front of her, still wearing the black and blue ensemble from his Another Bites The Dust performance with his old-new team (that is, if he ever really left them). She knows she's surrounded by them, the Vocal Adrenaliners, but she can't care less about them.

Because the only one of them that really matters to her is standing in front of her, holding the proverbial final nail to the coffin and looking extremely uncertain – something that, honestly, is a refreshing change for Jesse St. James. He is always so confident, so sure of himself, that it's a relief to see he's able of hesitation.

Their eyes lock and she knows there's still a part of him that doesn't want him to do it. There's still a part of him that is Jesse, the guy who had told her himself he was nuts about her, almost two months ago. The one standing in front of her is Jesse St. James, the soulless automaton that leads her main competition in Regionals, but Jesse is still in there somewhere, alive and kicking, keeping the heartless version from doing something that will irrevocably ruin things for them.

And if Jesse is still in him, still fighting for them, well, then she's going to do some fighting of her own too. While she is a budding ingénue, she is no shrinking flower, and there's nothing she loves more than winning a fight.

With her eyes still glued to his, she takes a deep breath, opens her mouth and begins to sing.

How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace

When I'm standing, taking every breath with you?

You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me when all I can do is watch you leave?

'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain

And even shared the tears

You're only one who really knew me at all

As if magically affected by her voice, the members of Vocal Adrenaline fall silent when she starts singing, and she never sees one of them glaring at the tiny crowd of New Directioners when they approach them in a run, Finn, Puck, Chang, Rutherford and Jones screeching bloody murder against their competition. She's otherwise engaged, focused in the spark she sees in Jesse's eyes, the spark of joy, of hope and of determination. That teeny tiny glimmer renews her strength and she allows her hand to lift, gently cupping his shaven cheek, feeling the warmth of her skin. He unconsciously leans in her touch, and she can't help but give him a small, private smile.

So take a look at me now, 'cause there's just an empty space

There's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face

Take a look at me now – there's just an empty space

And you coming back to me is against the odds

And that's what I've got to face

Jesse lets the hand that is holding the egg over her head drop, and his suddenly boneless fingers lose their grasp at their offending 'weapon of choice', per se. She realizes that slowly her Jesse is overcoming his robotic self, and it makes her feel so joyful, it's like an explosion in her chest. She is so focused in her task of coaxing Jesse back out that she misses Puck coming to stand protectively between her and Finn, glaring at his former best friend with a look in his eyes that promises bloody murder if her male lead even thinks of interrupting her. She never gets the surprise of seeing heavily pregnant Quinn coming to stand by her baby daddy, focusing at her ex with all the power of her famous Ice Queen glower.

I wish I could just make you turn around – turn around and see me cry

There's so much I need to say to you – so many reasons why

You're the only who really knew me at all

Vocal Adrenaliners are suckers for talent – that much is famous in the show choir world. That's why they always try and steal talents from the competition to their roster, with an almost perfect history of success of doing so. When they fail for whatever reason, they then extract their revenge by funkification. But they are suckers for talent, and when someone is singing, they listen.

And whenever they have the opportunity, they also sing along.

So it comes as no surprise that, when Rachel launches into a repeat of her song's chorus, it's not only Mercedes, Brittany, Santana and Tina that sing her back-up. The thirty-something members of their competition also join their voices to their harmonizing, which makes it loud enough to attract the attention of the students inside McKinley. All of a sudden, there are people fighting for a space on the windows of the school, eager for the gossip as it always is in high schools all around the world.

Rachel doesn't realize it. She is too busy wooing back the love of her life and other half of her soul.

Take a look at me now, 'cause there's just an empty space

There's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face

Take a look at me now – there's just an empty space

But to wait for you is all I can do, and that's what I got to face

Take a look at me now, 'cause I'm still standing here

And you coming back to me is against all odds

That's a chance I've got to take

Hummm… Take a look at me now.

Applause breaks out not only from the crowd they've attracted, but also from the Vocal Adrenaliners. To top it all off, a car comes to a screeching halt not far from where they are, and out of it climbs Vocal Adrenaline's famously demanding coach Shelby Corcoran. She takes a look at the egg-covered female lead of New Directions, and the look in her face when she turns her icy eyes back to her pupils is enough to make them all realize the major fuck-up they've just done.

"Who," she asks in a quietly dangerous voice, her tone so icy it makes a chilly shiver run down the spine of McKinley's toughest and bravest football players, "is responsible for this stupidity?"

The fingers of thirty-something Vocal Adrenaline members are unanimous at pointing for the not-so-poor soul whose brain has come up with the 'Egg Rachel Berry' scheme. Shelby follows them and rolls her eyes. That doesn't come as a surprise. Giselle Torres has always been jealous of Jesse St. James' attention, even though the sole lead for Vocal Adrenaline never even looked at her twice since she joined the choir two years previously. Having him fall for the female lead of a rival choir is, in her eyes, an offense. That said female lead was not only prettier than she is only added insult to said injury.

"You're off the team," Shelby declares, firmly.

Giselle gapes. "What the fuck?" She screeches. "It's not the first time we've done this to the competition! Why is this time so different from the others?"

Shelby glares at her now former pupil. "Rachel Berry is my daughter." The other members of Vocal Adrenaline gasp at this shocking revelation. "Jesse approached her in order to make her come find me, but has fallen in love with her along the way. You knew that. You've not done this in order to ensure a win in a competition. You targeted my daughter because you were jealous, not only of her talent and her looks, but also because she has his love, and you never did." She then turns her back at a gaping and flushing Giselle and focuses on the other members of her team. "You all are in probation. Until I see you're really regretful of your actions towards a fellow show choir enthusiast, you are all out of my theatre and my team."

Unhappy groans are heard, and more than a member of VA glare at Giselle, who is still gaping as the depth of her mistake sinks in. She knows there's no way Coach Corcoran is letting her back in VA. Not after what she has done to the woman's daughter. With a single, petty decision, Giselle's life and status in Carmel's social hierarchy crumble down before her own eyes.

Jesse and Rachel are too busy looking at each other to see all this unfold, however. He's standing immobile in front of her, his hands hanging uselessly by his body, her hand cupping his cheek and caressing his skin with a tenderness that few people can believe she's capable of. All of a sudden, he blinks and throws himself at her, not giving a flying fuck about the fact that his clothes are getting covered with egg. "Rachel," he breathes in her ear, and she closes her eyes, breathing in relief.

"Jesse," she whispers, clutching desperately at him as tears stream down her cheeks and she lets herself fall for the first time since she felt the eggs hitting her. "Oh, my God, Jesse."

"I'm here, baby," he whispers and tries to step a little away from her in order to look at her and assess the damage done to her by his teammates, but she just holds tighter to him.

"Not… Not yet," she sniffs. "I thought… I thought I had lost you, Jesse."

"You'll never lose me, Rach," he presses a kiss to her forehead, distantly hearing Shelby's voice as she bitches at the members of VA that were a part of the scheme. "No matter what happens, I will always be yours."