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Motonari's Malady by Imperator Justinian
The reason I am using the Confused Matthew Requested Review song because I have never played Pokemon Conquest. I know next to nothing about it, and I am pretty much confused about it. So when I got a request to review a fan-fiction for the spin off game, I was hesitant at first. But I was told:
It's based in Pokémon Conquest, but knowing the game isn't nessecary to appreciate it. Though I will warn you it's quite sad.
(Keldeo shrugged)
Well, okay, I've read Overdue Sunrise, and that was sad. So I guess I'll just go into this story blind. Here's Motonari's Malady by Imperator Justinian.
Summary: Motonari has fallen ill with a strange sickness that ravages his memory, so his son seeks whatever help he can find. But what can the Hero of Ransei and a Jesuit Missionary do to assist Motonari if he can't even remember their names?
So. . it's an amnesia plot? Well, okay then. let's get into it.
The main hall of Aurora Castle, now the capital of Ransei, was packed to the brim with Diplomats, Envoys, Petitioners, Courtiers and the like. Tadashi, no longer the teenager he was when he united the region, was now situated on the Chrysanthemum Throne, with a crowd of people in front of him, all of whom were trying to voice their requests. The noise and attention were rather overbearing, and the thought to simply have the guards usher them all out so he could have a few moments of peace crossed his mind more than once.
So Tadashi is apparently the Emperor of Ransei. I assume he was the main character in Pokemon Conquest. So during this huge giant meeting, a close friend of his, Takakage Kobayakawa, comes over ot him with some distressing news.
"I'm sorry, but something urgent has come up. I will hear what you have to say tomorrow." everyone in the room knew that the unsaid part of that sentence was 'Leave' so the crowd slowly filed out. While many grumbled over having their plans delayed, none dared to voice their complaints.
"All right, now, what's wrong?"
"It's father! He-" Tadashi's eyes widened in concern. Motonari Mori, the elderly Warlord of Greenleaf, as well as a retired historian, was one of Tadashi's most trusted subjects and a good friend. During the war, Motonari was one of Tadashi's "Three Arrows", a term the former professor had coined himself, his top strategists along with Hanbei and Kanbei. Had it not been for their brilliance, he was not sure he would be sitting upon his throne. So any news concerning the man Tadashi was keen to hear, though he dreaded what Takakage would tell him.
"Is Motonari all right? Is he hurt?"
"No! Father is losing his memory!" Tadashi exhaled the breath that he had held in
BAM-BAM-BAAAAAAAAAAMM!
(Dramatic Deerling turns around dramatically!)
"Let's hurry, if he's as bad as you say then I want to get there as soon as possible." the two then walked towards the door separating the hall from the foyer. Stopping for a moment, Tadashi turned to a nearby guard.
"Find Luis Frois, he'll be able to help." the guard simply nodded in response, and as Tadashi and Takakage left through the crowded foyer, the guard went in the opposite direction, deeper into the bastion.
So our heroes, I guess, go over to see Motonari.
The man had visibly aged a great amount over the years; his once light green hair had grayed at a rapid pace, creating a color where the green could barely be seen anymore. Bags had formed under his eyes, most likely from a lack of sleep or pushing himself to hard, and wrinkles had developed on his forehead and at the corners of his mouth. He still wore his signature smile, a warm, toothless, grin that betrayed a slight cunning, but now it appeared to have lost its luster, dull even. Motonari, who was pacing back and forth as quickly as he could in his advanced age, heard Tadashi walked in and turned to greet him.
He was shocked to see the young man in his castle, no doubt expecting his son, but remained composed none the less. "Ah, your majesty, who do I owe the pleasure of your visit to today?" then Takakage finally came into the foyer, Motonari's question being answered.
"Son! You've returned!" Motonari then hobbled over and gave Takakage a hug, which the man returned. "I was only going over to Aurora, Father. I did say that it would only take an hour or so."
"Oh yes... Yes, you did say you were heading over to the adjacent kingdom didn't you?" Takakage then broke the embrace and silently looked at Tadashi, as if giving him both an answer and a request. Tadashi then walked over to the older man and placed his hand on his shoulder, causing Motonari to turn to face the young man.
"Motonari, I need you to do something for me."
"Of course, your Majesty." Tadashi then smiled, hoping that what he was going to ask would alleviate any fears he had.
"I need you to tell me what my name is." Motonari seemed to be taken slightly aback, but all he would let on from it was a simple blink. His brow then furrowed and he seemed to think hard about it.
"Tada-Tada-" Tadashi started to grow hopeful that he would manage to complete the word, and prove that it was nothing more than old age.
"Ta-Tada-Tadamoto!" and with that one word Tadashi's hopes were sunk. Tadashi sighed and lowered his head.
"Thank You Motonari." Motonari could hear the sadness behind his voice, and saw the defeated look on his face.
(Keldeo rubbed his chin thoughtfully)
I'd say that Motonari has Alzheimer's. He is old after all. Also, if Tadashi is trying to humor this guy, why does he say thank you in a depressed tone while wearing a depressed voice. He might as well have said, "No, that's not my name."
"I'm sorry, was that wrong?" Before Tadashi could reply another set of footsteps rang out through the foyer. "Lord Tadashi?" The three heads turned to see Luis Frois, the Jesuit Missionary that had aided Tadashi's army on more than one occasion, standing at the doorway. "You men requested I come here, is everything all right?"
And here's the religious character. So. . .is he going to perform a miracle like Paul did in the Book of Acts?
"I'll need somewhere private to go with him, somewhere where he'll be familiar in."
"There's his study, it's the third door on the right." Frois nodded and headed off, presuming Motonari to be in tow. When he turned around, he saw that Motonari was still confused and had failed to pick up on the conversation.
"Motonari, could you please follow me?" Motonari nodded and started walking off with Frois, only for both to disappear in a nearby doorway, followed by the sound of the door being closed.
Okay, so do we get to see what they're doing?
Seconds turned to Minutes, Minutes turned to Hours. Or at least that's how it felt to the two men who were uneasily wondering around the lobby. With no clocks, and a lack of visible movement from the sun, it was almost impossible to tell how long it had been since Motonari and Luis went off, but it felt like ages.
No? . . .well, okay. . .
Both Takakage and Tadashi were hungry, and somewhat tired, but neither dared to leave the foyer out of fear of Frois or Motonari coming out and not being there. Finally, they heard the sound of clicking, and both looked up. To their surprise, and mild disappointment, a servant girl had come out of a door from the left hallway, and approached the two with a tray of sandwiches.
"I-I'm sorry to disappoint sirs- Its- It's just that I keep seeing you out here and- and I thought you might be hungry." clearly the girl was shy, though Tadashi doubted having the head of state in her presence helped with her fears one bit. Though, moved by the fact she had taken the initiative to make these by herself, he and Takakage each took a sandwich from the tray. Tadashi bite into the food, and immediately his countenance brightened.
"This is very good, thank you." the girl nodded and quickly left, going back into the room where she had come from, no doubt the castle's kitchen.
"Don't take it personally, she's like that around everyone."
(Keldeo is confused)
What was her purpose? I doubt we'll ever see her again. She's like that girl from Matrix Revolutions.
Well Luis finally comes out and basically tells us what we already know.
"What's wrong with Father? Is he going to die from this?" Takakage anxiously asked.
"No, he won't die from this, although I doubt it will help his health. We do not have a name for it in the west yet, but I suppose I shall call it Motonari's Malady. Essentially from what I have gathered, his memory is deteriorating at a disturbing rate, and I fear it may also affect how he acts physically."
"Is there anything we can do?" Takakage asked, his concern increasing by the second.
"Unfortunately, I fear I have done all I can. Being in his study seems to help him remember, though. Oh, and Lord Tadashi, he has requested your presence."
So Emperor Tadomo-
"Emperor Tadamoto."
"Lord Tadashi?"
Whatever; - goes to the poor man and fulfills a special request for him.
"For perhaps forty years, I have taught many generations History, both of ours and abroad." he paused for a moment, most likely trying to retain what he was going to say next. "But now my own is slipping, and I fear that there is knowledge that I retain, that I have not written down or lectured about, that remains untold."
"So you would like me to chronicle your history?" Tadashi asked rhetorically.
"Yes. I hope that I can continue to provide future generations with knowledge and lessons from my own experiences, even when I am no longer physically able to." Tadashi nodded solemnly, even when thinking of his death the man was still thinking of ways to pass on his knowledge. A great and tragic irony considering what is happening to him.
"Motonari, you are truly the wisest man in Ransei, and though you may forget it, I will ensure that no one else does."
"Thank You my lord, but I fear you flatter me." Tadashi shook his head.
"No, you truly deserve that title." for a moment Tadashi thought he saw tears starting to form in Motonari's eyes. But he simply nodded and started to talk. And for what felt like days, Motonari regaled him of his life, his experiences, and his knowledge, and in turn Tadashi scribbled furiously.
So. . .what was the point of the religious guy other than to tell us Motonari's loosing his memory and to make up a name for his illness. Anyone could've done that.
Tadashi then left the castle and got on his Rapidash,
OH MY GOSH! A POKEMON! AN ACTUAL POKEMON!
doing whatever he could to keep the papers from scattering in the wind during his ride back home. After finally getting back onto the castle grounds, he handed the reins of his mount to a nearby servant and quickly ran into the palace. Quickly heading up to his room on the third floor, he opened the door, only to find his wife inside. Oichi then got up of their bed and ran up to him and hugged him.
"You were gone for ten hours! You had me so worried!" Tadashi returned the hug to his distraught wife, holding her tight to try to ease her concern.
(Keldeo becomes angry)
What-the-but- You left without telling your wife or sending a message back? Oh yeah, right, husband of the year ladies and gentlemen!
So Emperor Tadani-
"Emperor Tadamoto."
"Lord Tadashi?"
Whatever; decides to have Motonari's life story organized and mass produced for all to read. A nice gesture, without a doubt.
So then we skip forward a few months to. . .Motonari's funeral? Wait, but what about this scene:
"What's wrong with Father? Is he going to die from this?" Takakage anxiously asked.
"No, he won't die from this
Did the religious guy mean, "He won't die from this today, but it will in a few months"?
Well, anyway, it's a funeral for a good man, so it's sad. Everyone is crying, and its raining really hard.
Frois then walked up to his friend's gravestone and opened the Bible he was carrying, the brim of his hat protecting it from any water. Clearing his throat, he started to read.
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever." when Frois finished reading the twenty-third Psalm, Tadashi too started to cry. And, save the noise of the rain, they all stood in silence, mourning the loss of the wisest man Ransei had seen.
Motonari Mori may be dead, but his legacy will live on. And Tadashi would make sure of it.
. . . . So. . .the purpose of the Jesuit guy was for him to read a Bible verse?. . . Okay.
Um . . .I'm not sad. At all.
Look, I'm not being cold hearted here. It's just that in order to feel sad for anyone, you have to know them and connect with them. Sure, maybe If I had played the game I could feel for them, but since I haven't, I don't know them well enough to feel sad. Sure, I can tell that these are good people, and getting struck by Alzheimer's is a very terrible and sad thing, as is dying. So I do feel sad about it, but not enough to get really emotional, because I'm not emotionally attached to these characters. The only emotion I felt here was anger at Tadashi for leaving his wife hanging. Sure, he didn't know that he was gonna be there for ten hours, but this is the world of POKEMON! Why doesn't he have a Pidove carry a message back to the palace so his wife would know where he is and what he's doing? Sure, you could say he wasn't thinking, but what about Luis and Takakage? I guess they were too worried about Motonari.
Okay, okay, I'm done nitpicking. This was a heartfelt piece, and Justinian put all his heart and soul into writing it. And maybe if I knew the character this would touch me more. Nevertheless, this was a nice little piece that was more focused on character moments and emotions, two very good thing. And the Bible verse at the end really tied things up nicely, and I appreciated it. So, I can say, that this was a good story.
Now, about this Pokemon Conquest game. As I said before, I didn't know what Pokemon Conquest was until now. So, after I reviewed this story, I looked up Pokemon Conquest to see what it was all about.
(Keldeo gained a deadpan expression)
This is a joke right?
(Keldeo slowly becomes angry)
. . . . .
I mean, am I being pranked? Is this game even real? What the hay is this?
Pokemon Conquest is a game tailor made to piss of N, me, Lucario, Sir Aaron, and every Legendary Pokemon that ever lived.
This game is a crossover with Nobunaga's Ambition, a Japanese game about a Shogun in ancient Japan who has to fight wars to unify Japan. How would such a crossover work? Simple. You're the Warlord of the Aurora Kingdom with an Eevee who has to get a whole bunch of Pokemon to conquer the entire region of Ransei in order to summon a Legendary Pokemon and unite the land.
I am. . .insulted. . . This is a game all about using Pokemon as weapons of war! This is like something Ghetsis or Giovanni or the King of Pokelantis would like! Sure, the reason your character is doing this is because some other Warlord is trying to conquer Ransei with the intention of destroying it, which makes no sense. So what does that mean? It's okay to conquer people and use Pokemon as weapons in order to keep an evil conqueror from doing the same thing?
(Suddenly, Matthais Unidostres walked over to Keldeo)
"Uh, Keldeo? You really should-"
And the worst part of all this is that the antagonist wants to destroy the region because people are heartlessly using Pokemon as weapons and not treating them as friends. Meaning that I connect more with the villain than the player character! He's the N of this weird crossover.
"Keldeo, stop it. You're going to make Justinian and Arceus mad at us!"
And since I'm playing as a guy who's using Pokemon as weapons to conquer people, that puts me in the wrong, but the N wannabe is in the wrong too, because he wants to destroy countless lives! And the N wannabe is using Pokemon as weapons to, so he's being a hypocrite!
(Keldeo stomped his hooves)
You know what? Forget it! I'm not going to acknowledge Pokemon Conquest as an actual Pokemon game, and I'm not going to review any more Pokemon Conquest FanFiction after this! Curse you Nobunaga's Ambition, because you are just a belligerent, violent, warmonger of a game!
"Keldeo! Relax! That's not what the game is about!"
How DARE you defile the Pokemon franchise! I wish I could track down the person who came up with the idea to make this crossover, and hold them at sword point and force them to make a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover with Nobunga's Ambition. Then we'll see how they like me defiling their franchise as much as they defiled my franchise! I just can't stand how serious, high and mighty, and pretentious this game is. There is a reason why you NEVER see this Pokemon game in Gamestop. Because most other Pokemon games are Pokemon games!
(Matthais grabbed Keldeo by the horn)
"Keldeo! You are way out of line! Sure, Pokemon Conquest is different, but that doesn't mean it's bad. And sure, the game is about using Pokemon in war, but that's already happened in the Anime! Remember Lucario and the Mystery of Mew? If humans and Pokemon are so connected and bonded, then it makes sense that they'd fight together in a war. And there's more to the game's story and character motivations that meets the eye. The characters are all interesting, and the main character does show true caring for his Pokemon. Why do you think he gets that Eevee. It's a symbol of his good heart, and how he is justified in his pursuit of unifying the region for the greater good. For peace."
(Matthais let Keldeo's horn go)
"So Keldeo, don't go on a rant bashing this game. I understand how you feel about your fellow Pokemon being used in warfare, and actually the Pokemon aren't exactly being 'used' in the first place, but at any rate, you need to consider the points of view of others."
(Matthais blinked his eyes, then he hung his head and sighed.)
You're right Matthais. I guess I just kinda lost it a bit. The characters are probably really deep and nice, and you'll probably get attached to them as you play, but it's just not my kind of game. If people like this game, that's fine. I can understand why so many people like this game. I'm sure the strategy and game play is fun. And I'm sure others may like the story and concept. But to be honest, I just don't like it. But that's just my opinion. Maybe this game really is quite good.
(Matthais smiled)
"That's better, Keldeo."
(Keldeo smiled)
Thanks Matthais. For everything. Um, by the way, what brings you here?
"I came to let you know that March is 'Toadettegirl2012 Month'."
(Keldeo smiled widely)
Oh my gosh! That's awesome! I can review The Midnight Dragon! I love that story! Oh my gosh, this is great-
"Uh, wait Keldeo. You have to save The Midnight Dragon for last."
Awww. But what do I review first?
(Matthais gave a sly grin)
"Too Much H2O."
(Keldeo's eyes widened in horror as he suddenly fell to his knees)
That. . .can't be. . .I. . .already talked about that one!
(Keldeo groaned in pain as he slowly struggled to stand up, working hard to unbend his legs as Matthais stood by watching him. Keldeo finished standing and looked up into the sky.)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"Yes."
. . . . . . .
THE END
Performed by Keldeo of the Swords of Justice
Credits
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Nostalgia Critic- The Legend of the Titanic
Nostalgia Critic- Godzilla
Confused Matthew- Lost in Translation
Matrix Revolutions
Special Thanks
TVtropes
Wikipedia
The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.
(This was a parody of the Nostalgia Critic by Doug Walker on That Guy With The Glasses)