In the Italian countryside, high up on the hilltop town, the sky was dotted with countless stars. Beyond the lights of the large cities there was nothing to block them out, to dim their presence in the sky. Berlin wasn't like this, with too much smoke and light, endlessly blocking the night from those looking up. Gilbert supposed Rome was like that too, though he hadn't spent enough time there to know.
Lovino found him on the porch, staring up at the stars with his head in his hand and a faraway look in his eyes.
"What're you doing?" he asked, sitting beside him.
"Nothing," Gilbert responded, wrapping an arm around him instinctively. Lovino swore under his breath, taking Gilbert's hand in his.
"You're freezing!"
Gilbert hadn't really realised the temperature. He'd had much worse, and as a nation (or an ex-nation, technically) he wasn't exactly in that much danger from the weather.
"I'll be fine," he said dismissively, still staring up.
"What are you looking at?" Lovino asked, turning his eyes to the stars, half-expecting to see something else, something besides the sky.
Gilbert shrugged, taking his time with answering. What he was thinking and feeling wasn't easy to put into words. It was bigger than that.
"They make you feel small," Gilbert said finally. "The stars. Knowing there's all that out there."
Lovino looked to Gilbert, then back to the sky.
"What?" he said, confused.
"It's hard to explain," Gilbert replied. "Just…sometimes it gets too much, remembering what I used to be and what I lost and then-" He cut himself off, sighing. "I panic, and it's good to be able to see the stars. It doesn't seem as big when I do, it's easier to handle."
Lovino nodded, beginning to understand. Nations were familiar with the strain of being an immortal being with the body of a human. Sometimes, in fact more often than not, it took its toll both physically and mentally.
Gilbert knew that this was one of the reasons he spent so much time there, besides wanting to be with Lovino. It was easier to forget out there, to forget the voices and memories, the 'what-ifs' and 'should've-dones'. It was easier to forget who he'd been and how great he was once.
Lovino rested against his side, warm and solid, and Gilbert knew the best way to forget was to remind himself what he had now. What he had was Lovino, and the secret they shared. What he had now, he would gladly trade everything he'd lost all over again for it. That was what he knew to be true now, and he hoped it would be true for a long time to come. The world had taken a lot from him, but not this. Gilbert would not let Lovino be added to a long list of what he'd lost.