The third and final part of Loyalties

Warning: Language

"Teyla, please."

He was shivering and soaked with sweat all at the same time. His eyes pleaded with her, trying to convince her he was fine even when it was so obvious he wasn't.

Teyla observed the paleness of his skin against hers where her hands rested on his clammy forearm. "John, I cannot."

Desperately, he nodded, "Yes you can." He glanced down at the leather restraints that held him. "Look. All you have to do is untie me and we can get out of here. Both of us."

"Once you are well..."

His face filled with rage. "I'm fine!" John fought against his restraints, shaking the bed. "If you people would let me off of this damn bed, I'd prove it to you. Now let me up!!"

"John, you have to stop fighting." Teyla tried so desperately to be calm. "Your heart..."

John screamed with the effort of trying to free himself and then at the sheer agony of withdrawal. Giving up, he broke down in anguished tears. He whispered over and over, "Why won't you let me go?"

"Colonel Sheppard!"

John turned away from Rodney and Teyla to see Jennifer approaching them. He grinned. "Doc! Look at you."

She rolled her eyes with a small smile on her face. "See what happens when you leave for six months?"

John knew without looking that Teyla's brow would be raised in silent question. He quickly tried to think of something, anything to change the subject when Jennifer did it for him. "C'mon, Colonel. You haven't had an exam yet."

Jumping at the opportunity, John went off with the Doc before Teyla could ask any questions.

Once they were in as private an area as one could expect in an overcrowded infirmary, Jennifer asked, "So what injuries are you hiding?"

"I'm fine."

She raised a lone eyebrow.

"Really," he added.

Her disbelief was apparent. "I'll be the judge of that, thank you."

Pulling out a portable Ancient scanner that Rodney had run across about two years ago, Jennifer set to work. She frowned over his left arm.

"What?"

"You have mild tissue damage in your arm. Colonel, are you not in any pain?"

John shook his head. "No. I got shot with a stinger in my arm earlier but it's not bothering me anymore."

Jennifer frowned. "A stinger?"

Shrugging, John said, "It's what Ford was calling 'em. It was the weapon Teyla's captors used. Felt like a bee sting."

Continuing silently with her scan, Jennifer stopped again over his heart. "Oh my god." She looked up at him almost accusingly. "When did you have a heart attack?"

"A what?!"

"You have damaged tissue on your heart. Was this one of your bee stings, too?!"

John winced. "Same one actually."

Jennifer narrowed her eyes. "Explain exactly what happened."

So he did, leaving out the part about Ford giving him the Wraith enzyme. That would be bad. They'd tie him down. He remembered what Ronon went through. There was no way he was going through that.

After John was done, Jennifer excused herself. She wanted to draw some blood. John bounced his foot with nervous energy. If she drew blood, then she'd know what was in his system. John shook his head. He couldn't let her do that. He should have run off like Ford had - not gotten on the Daedalus. He was just gonna get thrown in jail anyway. John was a deserter. Never should have come back. John hopped off the bed, only to have the curtain pulled back to see Jennifer and Ronon standing on the other side.

John smiled and tried to act casual. "Ronon. Hi! Coming to get your physical too?"

"Already had mine. Where ya going?"

John backtracked. "Nowhere. Just standing up. But, uh, now that you mention it - Doc, I feel fine. I don't really think a blood test is necessary or anything, do you? Not at least until we get back to Atlantis. It's pretty crowded in here after all."

"It's really not a problem, Colonel. Just have a seat and we'll get it done."

John looked back and forth between the two of them. Doc looked wary and Ronon - well, John wasn't sure but he looked somewhere between appraising and concerned. They were on to him. He needed to leave. John smiled and shook his head, pacing a little. "No, uh, that's okay."

"Sheppard..."

John looked over the situation. He was actually pretty confident he could take Ronon right now but the Doc would be easier. It would ensure his way off of here. Decision made, John went to move but before he even got a step, he felt a prick in the side of his neck. Shaking his head in confusion at every things sudden blurriness, John fell to his knees and then everything was black, the last thing John hearing being Teyla's, "I'm sorry, John."

Ronon didn't even wait for her to enter fully into the room. "What's wrong with him?"

Pursing her lips, Jennifer stated, "He's been loaded full of Wraith enzyme."

"What?! How?"

Looking at Rodney, Jennifer could do nothing but shrug. "I have no idea. I will say this. It saved his life."

Teyla's head tipped to the side, brows furrowed. "I do not understand."

Glancing at Ronon, Jennifer said, "From what I've been told by Ronon, these 'stingers' vary from sending people into convulsions to cutting off their respiratory systems. But each person he saw hit with this weapon died. My scans show that Colonel Sheppard was hit with this weapon twice - In his left arm and thigh. There's surprisingly little damage to those muscles and he will probably only experience some numbness in those areas in the future. The Colonel said that when he was hit in the arm, the pain radiated into his chest. For all intents and purposes, he had a heart attack."

Rodney cut her off. "I don't understand. Heart attacks happen when blood clots block arteries in the heart. How could a weapon that shot him in the arm do that?"

"In rare cases, a heart attack can also be caused by a spasm of a coronary artery. During coronary spasm, the coronary arteries restrict or spasm on and off, reducing blood supply to the heart muscle." Licking her lips, Jennifer continued somberly, "It's the same as using a defibrillator to stop someones heart."

"So what does this mean?"

"Overall, the damage to his heart is minimal. My guess is that the enzyme was injected pretty quickly after the shot to his arm. It would have bolstered all his systems, preventing further damage from the weapon and possibly even repairing some."

Ronon said what everyone was thinking. "Ford."

Jennifer nodded slowly. "I can't think of any other way the Colonel would have come in contact with it. Aiden saved John's life. I just hope that it isn't the same thing that ends it."

"Wait. What do you mean?"

"Obviously we don't have any Wraith enzyme here or even on Atlantis for that matter. Colonel Sheppard won't be able to wean slowly off of this."

Ronon straightened. "He'll be fine. I did it."

Rodney winced. "So did I."

"Yes, and you both almost died. John's at a disadvantage. The damage to his heart may not be severe but it has weakened the organ. The strain on his heart during withdrawal could more than likely cause him to go into cardiac arrest again."

John's first conscious thought was wondering how big a dent he left in the mack truck that must have hit him. And his second was that he had really bad morning breath. Also, his eyelids were being completely insubordinate because they refused to open. Someone moaned.

"Sheppard?"

Okay. Maybe it was him. How embarrassing. John managed to crack an eye open. Bad idea. He slammed it shut against the bright sunlight.

"C'mon, buddy. Wake up and I'll getcha some of that pudding you like."

John snorted, instantly regretting it when it hurt his chest. "And where exactly," he gravelly asked, "do you plan on finding pudding? On Nomar?"

John felt Ronon's big hand pat his shoulder. "We're not offworld anymore, Sheppard. We're back in Atlantis."

Frowning, John was about to ask why when it all came rushing back to him. "We found Teyla."

"Open your eyes and drink this. You sound terrible."

John blinked slowly, prepared for the harsh light that he now realized was infirmary and not sun produced. A grayish blob appeared in front of his eyes, gradually forming the shape of a cup. John lifted his hand and took the water from Ronon. After he took a sip, John looked up at Ronon. "Thanks."

John's memory of the last few days was sparse at best. Oh he remembered pain. Lots of that. Said some downright nasty things too. From what he could remember, Ronon got the worst of it too. John had a lot of apologizing to do.

"Forget about it."

John glared at him. "What?"

Ronon took the cup. "Just forget about it."

John looked down at the bed sheet. He realized that Ronon had probably kept the others away, as much to spare them as to give John what little privacy and dignity as he could. "Thanks."

Ronon looked over Sheppard's downcast expression. He understood. This was another memory, another burden of conscious Sheppard had to bear. There were no words that could be said to remove that. "You're welcome."

Patting his friend on the shoulder again, Ronon said, "I'm gonna go get the doc."

John's eyes widened as he remembered. "Oh god. I didn't... I didn't hurt her, did I?"

"Teyla downed you with a tranquilizer that could have taken down a retona."

John didn't know what that was but he assumed it was big. "Oh. That's good. I guess."

Ronon brought the doc and Jennifer's smile was so relieved that John had to wonder how bad he had gotten. "Colonel! It's about time you woke up."

"What have I missed?"

"It's been crazy around here, that's for sure. The infirmary's packed with refugees and then simply getting the ones well enough to go home back to their planets...it's been busy."

"Rodney and Teyla?"

"Rodney's been studying one of the devices that the captors were using to cloak people and once you were through the worst of the withdrawal, I made Teyla leave. She's on Athosia with Torren."

John nodded, privately thinking Jennifer should have made Teyla leave before she saw him like that at all.

Jennifer directed her next comment away from John. "Ronon, will you please inform Mr. Woolsey that Colonel Sheppard is awake? He wanted to be notified right away. He can see him as soon as I'm done with John's exam."

Ronon silently acknowledged her request and left.

The doc started her poking and prodding in relative silence which was unusual for Jennifer.

"How bad did it get?," he asked.

She smiled the way she did when it was little more than a pursing of lips with the outer edges turned up. "You went into cardiac arrest and had to be resuscitated twice."

Wow. So, that was bad. Jennifer sighed. "John," and John knew it wasn't going to be good because Jennifer always called him Colonel when either were on duty. "You have damage to five percent of your heart. That's not as bad as it sounds. The heart is extremely resilient and overall, I'm not worried about the scar tissue. That alone shouldn't have an effect on your daily activities."

She paused - for what was probably only a few seconds but felt like an exceedingly long time. "But?," he prompted.

"But I am worried about another part of your heart that is not functioning properly. Part of your myocardium shows a form of contractile abnormality. This is a segmental dysfunction which persists for a variable period of time, about two weeks in most patients, but with improved blood flow this part of the heart muscle may come back."

John stared at his blanket covered feet. "And if it doesn't?"

He listened to Jennifer's spiel, but to be perfectly honest - John wasn't paying that much attention. Occasionally he heard words like "limited activities" and "arrhythmia" but mainly John listened to the sound of her voice - somber, regretful - and that really said it all.

He cut her off. "So basically what you're saying is I wouldn't be fit for field duty?"

To her credit, she didn't so much as blink about being so abruptly interrupted. "That would be one application, yes."

"But we're not there yet?"

"No. It will take you six to eight weeks before you can do any strenuous activity. That means no lifting, pulling, pushing, or anything that requires a sudden burst of energy. But if your myocardium returns to normal, which I'm confident that it will, then in eight weeks, you can start taking stress tests and work your way back to active duty."

John flashed her a small smile. "We both know they aren't letting me on active duty, Doc. And it has nothing to do with the condition of my heart. But thanks."

"Dr. Keller?"

John could see Woolsey's feet under the privacy curtain. Jennifer shared a tight look with her patient. Pulling back the curtain, they were greeted with Woolsey holding a file under his right arm.

"I'm sorry. Are you done with your exam, Doctor?"

Jennifer nodded. "For now." Turning to John, she stated, "If you need anything, let me know."

John watched her leave and then met Richard's eyes. "Mr. Woolsey."

"Colonel Sheppard. How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been run over." On Woolsey's look, John added with a smile, "But I'll be fine."

"Yes, well, I'm glad to hear it. You gave us all quite a scare there for a while."

John smiled tightly, uncomfortable and not sure what to say. An awkward silence ensued until Richard visibly seemed to remember why he had come. "I brought you Teyla's report. I thought you would want to read it."

John's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "She's already written a report?"

"I told her that there was no rush for details and that she was free to take some much needed leave to see her son. She refused to leave when she became aware of the gravity of your condition and wrote out her full report, without stopping, from that chair right there." He pointed to the lone chair to the left of John's bed. "I believe she was using it as a distraction."

John was furious. The last thing Teyla needed was to be recounting ten months worth of torture right now. They should have made her wait. She should have been forcibly sent to Athosia immediately. Torren could have distracted her from everything. Made her forget, even for a moment.

"A distraction from what?!," he fairly shouted.

"You dying," Richard stated bluntly.

Well if that didn't just pour a bucket of water on the fire.

Clearing his throat, Woolsey set the folder down on John's bed. "You should also know, Colonel, that a specially devised group of your superiors and the director of the IOA will embark shortly for Atlantis. Given the circumstances, traditional court-martial procedure cannot be applied here. However, I assure you that the proceedings will be handled appropriately and by the book."

"I'd expect nothing less from you, Mr. Woolsey."

Woolsey nodded curtly and prepared to leave when he stopped himself and faced Sheppard again. "And on a personal note, it's good to have you back."

What with the impending court-martial, John couldn't say he was overjoyed to be back himself, even if simply being in this cities walls calmed him. Instead he settled with, "I'm glad she's back."

Woolsey smiled, not showing the shock that Sheppard would admit something like that on his face. "As am I, Colonel."

Over the last few days, everyone had learned to keep their distance from John Sheppard. At the best of times, he hated being confined to an infirmary bed. This was not the best of times. Sheppard was fuming. And had been ever since he'd read Teyla's report. The things they'd done to her - it made John want to commit heinous acts he never would have thought himself capable of before. And for what?! To increase the potential of her Wraith DNA? They took the one thing Teyla despised about herself and toyed with it - made it stronger, gave it more of an effect on her life.

John's stony silence kept Rodney's visits short and awkward. The scientist would resort to talking about his latest findings with the cloaking device and end up sounding like he was giving a report. Ronon was pretty pissed as well but he had the advantage of taking it out on Marines. John was confined to bed. Even Jennifer was angry, though her ire was against Mr. Woolsey. John's blood pressure sky-rocketed after he read the report and refused to come back down.

The court-martial procedings would begin as soon as he was released from the infirmary which John knew would have happened by now if Jennifer wasn't stalling. Jennifer personally dropped by to bring John some lunch when he called her on it.

"You can't hold me here forever, Doc."

She continued her task of arranging his tray. "Your blood pressure is off the charts right now, Colonel. You can be released when I see you're fit for it."

John looked at his food selection dismally. He knew that if he let his temper get the best of him in front of Jennifer it would only fuel her into keeping him in the infirmary. "Listen. I know what you're trying to do and I appreciate it but you're just delaying the inevitable."

In full doctor mode, Jennifer checked the machines monitoring his blood pressure and oxygen levels and whatever else the wires hooked up to him kept an eye on. Her stance was still and obviously angry. "You are not going to a cell in this condition. Not on my watch."

John sighed. He knew his condition had little to do with why she didn't want him in the brig. "Jennifer, I'm recovering above schedule. They've been here a day already." Pulling out his pleading eyes, John tried, "I just want to get it over with."

Jennifer rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "This is all just stupid."

John didn't say anything, hoping to wait her out. Shaking her head, she grumbled, "Fine. You want to leave my comfortable beds for a dark cell, that's your choice."

"Doc," John mock affronted, "it's been far too long since you've been in one of your own beds if you think they're comfortable."

"Wow," John heard at a distance. "There sure is a lot of people here, Mother."

"Yes, Torren. You need to lower your voice so as to not disturb them."

Continuing just as loudly, he said, "But I want to see John!"

"We must wait to see if it is alright with Dr. Keller."

Jennifer smiled, moving the curtain back so that Torren and Teyla could see where she was.

"Doctor Jennifer!!!," Torren shrieked, letting go of Teyla's hand to run up to her. Wrapping as far around Jennifer's middle as he could, Torren looked up at her. "It's been soooo long since I've seen you. Haven't I grown?"

"I think you must be a foot taller at least!," Jennifer said matter-of-factly, causing Torren to grin. "We'll have to mark you're new height on your chart to see, won't we?"

Torren nodded with an excited grin. Ever since he could stand, Torren got his height marked on a chart Jennifer kept on the back wall especially for him. Seemingly only just noticing Jennifer's different appearance, Torren frowned at her belly. "Doctor Jennifer, are you going to have a baby?"

Jennifer smirked at the I'm-not-sure-how-I-feel-about-this look Torren was giving her belly. "Yes, I am."

He finally took his eyes away from her stomach to look up at her. "And Rodney is going to be the father?"

Her amused smile remaining, Jennifer ran her hand through the side of Torren's dark hair. "Yes, he is."

Torren frowned in concern. "But Rodney will still give me chocolate, right?"

Jennifer couldn't help the laughter that burst out of her, even as Teyla tried to give a chiding look that promised a certain scientist would be getting a talking to later on.

"Hey, what about me?" came a voice behind them. Torren's eyes lit up and he shouted "John!", letting go of Jennifer to fling himself at his namesake. John wisely did not reach to help the boy onto his bed with Doc's eyes boring into him but Torren didn't seem to need much help, quickly securing himself in John's arms.

After his initial oompth from Torren's hug, John squeezed him back. "Hey, kid."

Still squeezing the daylights out of him, Torren said, "You kept your promise."

John looked at Teyla over Torren's shoulder. "I did."

"Hello, John."

The desire to pull her into his arms was still there. He'd only really seen her for moments before the whole withdrawal fiasco and that wasn't nearly enough time to assure himself that she wasn't going to just disappear again. Instead of telling her all that, John settled with, "Teyla."

She didn't seem to know what to say so turned to the most obvious out at this point. "Torren, John needs to breathe."

Torren giggled, releasing John but not getting off the bed, choosing instead to sit by him.

Jennifer loudly cleared her throat. "I'm just going to go see about getting you released, Colonel."

John nodded his thanks, not really taking his eyes off of Teyla. Her face seemed to bear an enormity of emotion, but of what John wasn't sure. Trying to think of something, anything to say, he blurted, "How was Athosia?"

A genuine smile blossomed on Teyla's face. "Very well. They are just bringing in the harvest."

John had been to a harvest party with Teyla before. Those calm mild-mannered Athosians that John thought he knew were just covers for wild party animals. John gave Teyla a knowing look full of remembrance. "With you back as well, that must have been a serious shindig."

Her amused grin was enough of an answer. Still, she added, "It was that."

"I set off fireworks!," Torren declared with obvious pride.

"Fireworks. Where'd you get your hand on some of those, buddy?"

"Rodney taught me how to make them."

"Yes," Teyla narrowed her eyes, "Rodney and I have much to discuss."

John bit back his grin. No sense in him getting in trouble.

Teyla took a step up to the end of the bed, resting her hands on the bed sheets. "Torren, now may be a good time for Jennifer to mark how much you have grown on your chart. Why don't you go and see?"

Torren nodded and climbed down, eager to find out so he could tell everyone. He had declared on more than one occasion that he wanted to be as tall as Ronon when he was big. John could see an adult conversation on the horizon and watched Torren go with reluctance. Teyla too watched her son run to find Jennifer and no doubt drag her to the back of the room. The boy only had two speeds - fast and carry me, I'm tired. When Teyla turned back, her eyes roved over John's face as if searching for something. Finally, her voice full of more emotion than she probably intended, she asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"John," she chided.

Sheppard relented. "I didn't exactly have much opportunity."

"You should not have done something so foolish."

Annoyance in his tone, he repeated, "Foolish?"

"Yes! Foolish." Her tone whispered, Teyla continued, "There is talk of you being imprisoned, John."

"Yeah, well...I'll deal with it."

They'd asked him if he wanted a lawyer. That was cute. He'd declined. He wasn't fighting the charges. John didn't deny the fact he deserted. There were five Generals - two Major, three Brigadier respectively. John had never been in a room with so many stars. Oh, and the Director of the IOA, Mr. Zamboni. Seriously. John couldn't look at him without thinking about hockey.

Mr. Woolsey was also in attendance as the head of Atlantis and John's immediate boss. They'd called Dr. Keller in for his medical information regarding both his heart and the Wraith enzyme. Rodney was there because, as General Bacalis had put it, "You may be the smartest man in two galaxies, Doctor, but us grunts do know how to count supply lists. It's the funniest thing. The past six months they just haven't added up quite right." John didn't understand why they had linked Rodney with the missing ammo at first but as it turned out, they had accused Lorne until Rodney stepped up and admitted it was him. Ronon remained absent. It might have had something to do with his comment about 'shooting them' in front of Woolsey.

'There' was the conference room. Major General Thomlinson, a broad-shouldered man well into his fifties though somehow holding onto his dark blonde hair, flipped through his papers. "According to your report, Colonel, yourself and former Lt. Aiden Ford stumbled across one of the researchers of the facility. Is this correct?"

John folded his hands on the wooden table. "Yes, sir."

"You determined that the purpose of the facility was for medical experimentation in order to preserve their people and that the other researchers were hidden somewhere in the building."

"Yes, sir."

Zamboni, who was not so much broad shouldered as he was just broad, cut in. "And then you shot him when you should have taken him hostage. Do you realize how much information we could have retrieved from that man? Thanks to you, Colonel, we still are unaware of whom the threat really is. We are no closer now than we were before."

John stiffened in anger but held it in, calmly replying, "Ninety seven people were saved that day."

"Yes, and there are still fifty more missing. Correct me if I'm wrong, Colonel, but that implies that there is more than one base of operations. And we have nothing to go on."

Jennifer gently placed the folder she had been clinging to on the table. "Excuse me for interrupting but Colonel Sheppard can't be held responsible for that. He was under the influence of an extremely strong dose of Wraith enzyme."

Brigadier General Hubler sat forward in his chair. "How exactly does that matter?"

His question wasn't asked sarcastically but in honest curiosity. Jennifer explained it as best she could. "It matters because the enzyme not only enhances your physical abilities, it also alters your brain chemistry to an alarming degree. This can lead to rash judgment decisions and violent mood swings. When faced with a tormentor of innocent people, a sober individual would find it hard not to kill him instantly. For a person in Colonel Sheppard's condition, it had to take a massive amount of self control."

Mr. Zamboni shook his bald head. "It doesn't change the facts one bit. We still have nothing to go on because of you," he pointed at Sheppard.

Waltzing into the room, Lt. General Jack O'Neill grouched, "Oh, cool it, Zammy."

John and the others rose out of their seats in respect. Jack ignored it, setting down his briefcase beside his seat, continuing, "Sorry about that. Had to see about a Space Monkey. Please continue."

It wasn't every day Sheppard heard a General apologize about anything but then again, O'Neill was definitely not like any other General he'd ever met.

Getting comfortable in his chair, Jack began, "Let's go on what we do know. Caldwell said the ship that attacked was Ancient design. McKay!"

Rodney jerked his head to attention at being called upon.

"Recognize it as any particular year model?"

To everyones surprise, Rodney replied, "Actually, yes."

Rodney glanced at the other Generals in the room. Thomlinson motioned him to continue.

Getting excited at his discovery, Rodney uttered, "I don't know why I didn't realize it before. It looks exactly like the ship that John described the Asgard as using."

Jack's eyebrows shot up. "Asgard?"

Knowing what Jack was thinking, Rodney quickly added, "The Pegasus Asgard - the faction that broke off and started the Attero device."

Jack nodded sagely. "Ah, yes. The evil clones."

Hubler leaned back in his seat. "So we think the Asgard are involved in this now?"

Rodney tilted his head back and forth in a thoughtful gesture. "It's possible. I mean, it fits their MO - experimentation on humans."

John quipped, "So the researchers are just patsy's."

O'Neill sat up in his seat, the "General" definitely coming to the forefront in his expression. "Colonel, did you get the impression that the researchers had the capability to use Ancient technology - such as one of their ships?"

"No, sir. Their building had no advanced tech, no shields, no jamming devices, no defensive weapons - nothing."

"Right." Jack fiddled with the pen in his hands. "So assuming we are dealing with Asgard," which did not sit well with him -Thor would not be pleased, "they've got to be relatively few in number if they are having us insignificant humans doing their dirty work."

"I just don't understand it," Rodney voiced in frustration. "Their methods are far more advanced than anything those researchers could have come up with. What could they possibly hope to gain by doing this?"

Bacalis waved his hand. "We're jumping to conclusions. We don't know if the Asgard are involved or not."

"There is always the Travelers. They are familiar with Ancient ships, are they not?"

John leveled Zamboni with a glare. "Those Travelers, as you call them, would not submit the people of this galaxy to endless torture! What purpose could you see them possibly having for that?! It doesn't even make any god damn sense."

"Colonel!," Jack barked, giving him a calming look that he needed to back down.

John's frown stayed firmly in place, glaring at Zamboni across the table.

Thomlinson licked his lips. "I believe we've gotten slightly off topic for this discussion. Colonel, do you have anything to add to the hearing?"

"No, sir. It's all in the report."

"Alright then, Sheppard. Dismissed."

Keller and McKay exited with John and Jack was left with the big wigs. He knew most of them fairly well, some more than he would care too. Thomlinson was level-headed. Jack knew that his decision would be fair. Hubler was the youngest among them and too quiet for Jack to really figure out. Anytime he had spoken during the hearing, it was to ask a question gathering more information about the situation. Bacalis was a little more of a hothead and a stickler. Jack had been in Special Ops with Baker and would easily trust the man with his life. Normandy, well he was an unknown - hadn't said a word the whole time. And of course, Zamboni. Jack really really hated that man. If he had to list the number one thing he hated about his job, it would be the IOA and Zamboni in particular.

Think of the devil and he shall speak. "I think it's fairly obvious what should be done with him."

Jack withheld his sigh, rotating his chair around to Zammy. "And what, pray tell, is that?"

Zamboni closed his file. "Imprisonment and a resign of his commission. He's a deserter and a disgrace to the United States government."

Point blank, Jack decided it was best to inform, "This is an Air Force matter so you can keep your little opinions to yourself."

Bacalis tapped his pen against his left index finger. "Colonel Sheppard has always been a big of a rogue."

Zamboni latched onto that and ran with it. "Yes, and now he's gone too far! He can't get off scott free for this."

Jack leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Why are you here? This is a United States military hearing. You have no say."

"I'm here, General, because Atlantis is an expedition run by the IOA. Thus Colonel Sheppard's placement here is my decision."

"Well, you've made your opinion clear. It's a stupid one considering John Sheppard has the strongest Ancient gene in this galaxy and more valuable experience and connections than most anyone else on this base but ya know, whatever."

"And it's that information right there that's got him grabbing you all by the balls."

Zamboni stood, taking his file and exiting the room.

Jack turned to Richard. "You're his boss, Woolsey. What do you think?"

Richard calmly folded his hands together on the table while he gathered his thoughts. "I agree that imprisoning Colonel Sheppard would be depriving Atlantis of a valuable asset."

Thomlinson decided to play devil's advocate. "You appear to have done just fine without him for the past six months."

Woolsey allowed that with a nod. "That may be true but we have also not had any emergencies in the city in that time. I understand Colonel Sheppard's motives in doing what he did. Teyla Emmagan is a valuable member of his team," here Jack internally winced at instances in his own life where that had been just as clearly a massive understatement, "and an invaluable asset to this expedition. However, Colonel Sheppard dedicated his life to his country and must follow their rules. It's not as if he was gone for a week. It was almost a year. His punishment should be accordingly."

Two hours later and John's verdict was given to him. He wasn't going to prison. That was something. He was to be restricted to base for six months except in the case of an off world emergency. And the bit that shocked Sheppard with how much it actually hurt was the biggest part of his punishment; he was getting demoted. That stung. John never would have thought he would have made it to Lt. Colonel in a million years. Hell, he was shocked when he'd made Major. But to have it taken away after the fact - John took a deep breath.

Teyla was safe. She was home and with her son and that was all that mattered. Being demoted was nothing compared to the thought of losing her.

John sat on the edge of his bed, toying with the silver oak leaves that once pinned to the top of the uniform he hated wearing. It was the first time John had been back in his room since he left Atlantis. Jennifer told him that Rodney personally ensured that his things were left as John had left them and that no one else was given John's quarters. John wasn't entirely sure what that meant but knowing Rodney it had something to do with electronics. Standing up, John quickly left his dark quarters and stepped into the hall. It was nice to no longer have a guard.

He was in the gate room before he found his target. "General O'Neill, sir?"

Jack was waiting for him. "Sheppard."

They'd decided no ceremony was in order. Who would want one for their demotion anyway? The other General's and Mr. Zamboni had already taken their leave, only Jack remaining. Sheppard handed over his Lt. Colonel insignias and accepted the gold oak leaves symbolizing his Major status. The gate sprung to life but as no one was panicking John assumed it was expected. He's not used to not knowing.

John can't quite hide his surprise when Colonel Carter steps through the gate. She notices the General and himself first thing and walks over with a smile on her face.

"General," she greets with a nod and a sparkle in her eye. John's amazed by the fact that they call each other by their ranks in front of him when he knows they're married.

"Carter," her husband nods back, hands buried in his pockets.

"John, it's so good to see you." He's surprised by the honesty in her voice.

"I'm very surprised to see you," he counters.

"Ah." She smiles brightly and even though John had never really thought of her as an unhappy person, the contrast between now and then was stark. "Mr. Woolsey's being sent back for a review of his command and I was asked to take over for the week he'll be gone."

"A week? That long?"

Jack rocked on his feet. "Zamboni wasn't too keen on how things turned out today and wants someone he can trample on without the Air Force getting in his way."

John looked back and forth between the two of them. "Should I be worried about his position?"

Shaking his head, Jack drawled, "Nah. Zammy's all bark. Besides, Woolsey's the IOA golden boy."

Changing the conversation, Sam said, "I wanted to personally congratulate you, John."

He was confused. "Congratulate me?"

Sam touched his arm. "I never doubted you'd bring her home. Job well done."

Squeezing gently, she pulled her hand away. He notices the lack of rank in everything that she's said and realizes that he hasn't heard anyone call him that yet. Mentally, he starts preparing himself for it.

Seeing someone behind him, Sam excuses herself and John knows who it is without turning when he hears Vala squeal with glee.

Looking over John's shoulder at Colonel Carter's retreating form, Jack tells him, "If it was her, they could have hanged me and I would have done the same damn thing."

Then locking eyes with John to make sure that he'd gotten the full meaning of his words, Jack ordered, "Take good care of your people, Major," and followed after his wife.

"Sir, may I have a word in private?"

Jack looked over Major Lorne's perfect military expression and knew he wasn't going to much like this conversation. "Sure." Jack pointed to the balcony with an askance look to see if that was private enough. Evan nodded briskly. Once they were outside, Jack asked, "What's on your mind, Major?"

Standing practically at attention, Lorne said, "I'd like to belay my promotion, sir."

Jack tried to maintain his General mask but wasn't quite sure he managed it. "Excuse me?"

"I'd like to..."

Jack waved his hand. "I heard what you said. God - at ease, Lorne. You of all people here should know how I feel about that."

Lorne nodded, slipping into an at ease posture and actually looking the part. "Yes, sir."

"You mind telling me why you've had this little bit of insanity?"

"When Colonel Sheppard left, I took over as 2IC of this base. I never intended to keep it, General. Merely keeping the seat warm."

"Major Sheppard deserted, Lorne. He can't go unpunished for that. His demotion is what was decided upon. And you can't go screwing up your career over what he's done with his. You'll stay as 2IC of this base as Lt. Colonel Evan Lorne and Sheppard will be under your command."

Lorne's jaw clenched, but there was no anger in his words. "With all due respect, no sir."

Jack's eyebrows shot up. "No sir?"

"I won't lead the Major. He's earned military command of this base and you won't find a man or woman in Atlantis that doesn't agree with me."

Jack locked eyes with the younger man, getting up in his face. "You realize if you do this, Major, you may not get this opportunity again? In fact, it's a sure fire way to ensure you won't get another promotion."

"I am aware of that, sir."

"Well, too bad. Request denied."

"Sir..."

Jack sent Lorne a look that shut him up fast.

"Damn it, Lorne. You've earned this promotion. Long since earned it. I respect what you are trying to do, hell, I respect what Sheppard did, but it's not gonna change a damn thing for him and it's going to cost you everything. I won't let that happen."

"Permission to speak freely, sir."

Jack rolled his eyes and waved his hand in agreement, walking to the railing.

"Imagine when we were both under General Hammond. What if it had been him? They demoted him right down to Colonel and offered you the promotion. What would you have done?"

Jack looked over his shoulder. Sighing, he said, "I would have told 'em where they could shove it."

Never losing eye contact, Evan said, "I respect him too much. Please don't make me do this."

Jack was torn between being distinctly proud of this man's loyalty and shaking his head in aggravation. Stepping away from the railing, Jack squared his shoulders. "Request granted, Major."

Lorne's relief was palpable. "Thank you, sir."

Jack did shake his head then. "Yeah, yeah. Get inside before I change my mind."

Evan wasn't really surprised when there was a pounding on his door an hour after O'Neill's scheduled departure time. Okay, maybe the pounding was a little unexpected. He couldn't remember the last time he'd heard someone knocking on a door.

Evan opened the door. "Sir."

"Don't you sir me," John glared as he stormed into the room. At first it seemed Sheppard was so mad that he couldn't even speak, instead burning his energy by wearing a hole in his floor. Then, rather abruptly, he stopped, waving dramatically at Evan. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Before Evan could even open his mouth, John continued his tirade. "Do you know where I just came from?!"

He could imagine.

"Colonel Carter's office. And she told me the damndest thing, Lorne. But I wouldn't believe her so I came to see you myself because I know there was no way you'd be such an idiot."

When Evan didn't say anything, John puffed in annoyance. "You deserved that promotion a long time ago, Lorne. And what did you do when you got it?! You blew it! And for what? For me? Not acceptable! You march your ass up to that gate room and tell them you changed your mind."

"Not gonna happen, sir," Lorne replied mildly.

John wanted to shake him. Or shoot him. Or quite possibly shake his hand. And damn it if he didn't hate conflicting emotions.

Sighing, John shifted his weight to one leg. "Stop calling me sir. We're the same rank."

Lorne visibly relaxed, knowing he was off the hook. "Don't relax yet," John gestured at him. "I'm still pissed at you."

John blearily brought the image outside his doorway into focus.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

Teyla. "No," he lied, motioning her into his quarters.

"I was just able to get Torren to sleep. He was over-stimulated today with being back in Atlantis after so long and very restless this evening."

"He's just happy to see everyone," John said, masking a yawn before she turned around.

Teyla nodded in agreement, wringing her hands together in front of her in a nervous habit that was so un-Teyla that John became instantly awake.

"What's wrong?"

Her eyes jerked up to his. "Nothing," she said far too quickly and then realized she had and frowned at herself. John merely raised an eyebrow in a manner she had done on more than one occasion to him when he was fumbling things up. It was kind of nice to have the tables turned.

Sighing in annoyance at herself, Teyla met his eyes. "I wanted to apologize."

John looked at her incredulously. "For what?"

"I feel responsible."

Maybe he was more tired than he thought. "You're really gonna have to help me out here because I'm still not following you."

She sighed again only this time her annoyance was directed at him. It never failed to amaze him how easily he could rankle her when Teyla was the utmost of polite with everyone else. John could tell she was about five seconds away from saying 'nevermind' and backing out of whatever she wanted to tell him so he thought back, trying to think of what she could be talking about. And then it hit him. "You're not talking about me getting demoted, are you?"

"Yes. John, I..."

"Don't." He waved her off. "I don't want to hear it. You are not responsible. I left - my decision. Period."

"But..."

John forcefully interrupted her. "I would do it again. It wouldn't matter what they did when I got back."

There was such intensity in his eyes and he turned away from her as if ashamed of himself.

"John?"

His eyes flicked up to her face. Teyla thought that John had let down his barriers on that battlefield - that he had let her in but ever since she'd been back, it was the same. Possibly worse. There had been so much happening around them that she had hardly seen him at all.

For Athosians, it was traditional for a man to show his interest in a partner and if the woman reciprocated, then they would become a couple. Teyla was not traditional in many respects, but this she found agreeing with her nature.

It was why, after her courtship with Kanaan ended and Teyla came to the startling conclusion that she cared for John Sheppard far more than she had originally thought, Teyla never pursued it. If she and John were to have a relationship, John would have to learn to let her in and she had always believed that him taking the first step in the relationship was vital for that to happen. Maybe she was wrong, maybe she was tired of waiting, tired of hiding behind her traditional values, but Teyla could not maintain this shaking uncertainty any longer. Whatever held John Sheppard back would withhold her no more.

Teyla's eyebrows rose in an almost pleading inquiry. "I need to know what you want."

It was obvious what she was asking of him and she could see he understood by the startled expression on his face. John bit his lip in the way he always did when he was unsure quite what to say. A hint of annoyance or frustration rolled off of him as John gestured, "Teyla, now's really not the time."

Her own ire rising, Teyla voiced, "There will never be a time, John. There is always something. This can be put aside no longer." Articulating, her eyes firmly set upon his own, Teyla repeated, "Now what do you want?"

John fidgeted on his feet, then stared out of his balcony window sightlessly. Finally, under his breath he whispered, "Damn it." Obviously coming to the conclusion he couldn't get out of this, John looked at her in resignation. "I want what I've always wanted, Teyla."

"And that is?"

His eyes hadn't left hers, and his whole body had an air of casualness that belied how still his frame was - as if his body was a shield, preparing to ward off whatever she might say in response to his one word.

"You."

Narrowing her eyes, Teyla stepped toward him in obvious thought. She didn't stop until she was right in his face, making John more than a little nervous as she still hadn't said anything. Her eyes roamed over him and then Teyla seemed to come to a decision - only John had no idea what that decision was.

Fortunately, Teyla chose not to keep him in the dark for long. Just as John opened his mouth to apologize, Teyla cupped the back of his head in her hand and firmly cut off his words with her lips. For one very John-like moment, he stood there with his eyes bugged open, stunned senseless. And then instinct and his desire for her kicked in and John was lost in the simple glorious fact that he was kissing Teyla and lord help him, she was kissing him back.

Author's Note: Sorry if the medical jargon isn't accurate. I did as much research into the after effects of heart attacks as I could but didn't find all the info I was looking for. So let's just take into account that I'm not a doctor and that this is an alien induced heart attack and hope that I didn't make Jennifer sound stupid.