Channel 38- Desperate Measures
That morning everyone had thought that maybe they'd get to sleep in since they didn't even have to do anything until tomorrow but they were rudely awakened by Inui walking into each one of their rooms and tossing something on their heads.
"What's this?" said Kirihara, sitting up and picking up the bag that Inui had thrown at him. Since he had the misfortune of being in the same room as Inui, he had to hear the entire explanation.
"The Jounetsu Middle School is about an hour drive away." Inui said. "If we take the bus, we'll be there in about an hour and half."
"Okay…" said Kirihara as he looked inside the bag and pulled out some clothing. "So…what's this?"
"They're the uniforms for the Jounetsu Middle School." Inui answered.
Kirihara still looked confused.
"St. Nicolas, the name of Kamio and Kaidou's school, is playing against Jounetsu tomorrow." Inui said. "We're going to go to the school and gather data on their tennis team, and maybe even disable a few of their better players to ensure that we win."
"So…why do we have to wear the uniforms?" Kirihara said.
"So we don't stick out as much." Inui said.
"Aha." Said Kirihara, rolling his eyes.
The uniform consisted of a pair of black pants and a white colored tee. At least they didn't have to wear ties. Or beanies.
They all met out in the lobby changed in their uniforms.
"Inui, I know Fuji and I are both girls but couldn't you have gotten us the MALE'S UNIFORMS?" Oishi demanded, losing his temper.
Sure enough, both Oishi and Fuji were wearing black skirts and a more feminine top instead of the pants and the tees they so desired.
"I'm sorry." Said Inui. But he probably wasn't sorry at all.
"Do we ALL have to go?" said Atobe, applying a lint roller to his pants.
"No." said Inui. "In theory, I only have to go because I'm the only one who can collect data effectively. However, if we wish to eliminate any of the players, then we'll have plenty of people to sacrifice."
"Sacrifice?" Shishido questioned.
"Of course." Said Inui. "If you harm another person, it's considered assault. Which is a crime. Of course you'll go to jail."
"JAIL?" they all yelled.
"But you won't be there long because we'll be leaving this Universe soon anyway, so you'll just be a sacrifice." Inui said.
"But what if they don't end up winning the game?" said Taka. "And we end up being here for an extra year and are in jail for that entire time?"
"Well, we're all too young for jail anyway." Said Inui. "It'll probably just be Juvenile Hall or something like that."
"That didn't answer my question." Taka said.
"Let's go." Said Inui, STILL avoiding the question. "We'll head to Jounetsu and begin our data gathering."
"Inui, this plan sounds somewhat sadistic." Ryoma said.
"Fuji helped me think it up on the sidelines yesterday." Inui replied.
"That would explain it." Ryoma said.
They went to the bus station and waited for the bus. Then they got on the bus. Then they rode the bus.
About an hour and a half later, they reached Jounetsu Middle School and wandered about on the campus.
"Where are the soccer fields?" Momo questioned.
"How am I supposed to know?" said Inui as he looked at a map of the school.
"Probably because you're holding a map of the school?" Momo suggested.
"Be quiet." Said Inui. "I'm going to give you all a picture, name and information about one of the starters on the Jounetsu soccer team. It's your job to find that person, stalk him, and if the opportunity presents itself, you should injure that person or kill him."
"Inui, frankly, I really don't like when you talk all scary like this." Said Eiji.
"Just take the picture and information and do what you wish." Said Inui as he opened up a folder that he also happened to be holding and started handing out pictures and information.
"When and how did you gather all this stuff?" Choutarou asked as he shifted through his information that he received.
"I'm not at liberty to tell." Inui said.
"Hey wait, how come you don't have anyone?" Oishi asked.
"Because there are only eleven players on a soccer team." Inui answered. "And there are twelve of us. I am the most important because I'm going to gather data and relay it back to St. Nicolas. Besides, I have the remote control. There. Three reasons."
Everyone grumbled and eyed Inui, then they all separated.
"I'm going to get this over with quickly so I don't have to wear this anymore." Said Fuji as he and Oishi flocked together since they both… are girls.
"How?" Oishi asked.
"I'm just going to walk right up and get what I want." Said Fuji as he went right into the school.
Oishi followed after him hesitantly as Fuji went straight up to two guys wearing the school uniform and talking in the hallway.
"Ohmygosh," said Fuji as he held up the picture and pointed at it. "Where can I find this super hottie on the soccer team?"
At first, the two boys just looked at him.
"You know he's gay, right?" said the first boy.
Fuji looked at the picture.
"Oh." He said with a frown.
"But you know…I'm not." Said the second boy.
"Oh TEE HEE, you're so big and strong too, I bet." Said Fuji.
"Um…hee hee?" said Oishi, holding up the picture of the boy HE was supposed to find. "Seen this super hottie around? Anywhere? Oh my god? Tee hee? Oh my god?"
"We have to go to class." Said the first boy as the two of them left.
"Well that failed on every account." Said Fuji to Oishi.
"I don't get it." Said Oishi. "Why did they completely ignore me?"
Fuji only put his hand on Oishi's shoulder and shook his head.
Meanwhile, all the people who had something against attacking random people decided to hang around the playground that was across the street for the elementary school kids.
"WEEEEE!" said Eiji as he swung on the swings by himself.
Meanwhile again… SMASH BAM BOOM!
Shishido and Choutarou were being Silver Man and Silver Boy and were both on the roof looking in.
"You know," said Choutarou. "If we weren't in an alternate Universe then I probably wouldn't be doing this."
"Yeah, me too." said Shishido as he looked at the picture. "Well… maybe. It depends on my mood."
"I feel like Silver Man is more of a villain than a hero in this Universe." Choutarou sighed. "First I robbed a bank and now I'm attacking a harmless person."
"Well, don't worry." Said Shishido. "In the next world, we'll definitely be heroes again, okay?"
"Okay, Shishido!" said Choutarou excitedly.
They looked down at the two members of the soccer team as they studied together in the library.
"So what's the plan?" Choutarou asked.
"Okay," said Shishido as he pulled his giant spear out of his utility belt. "I'll break the window and repel down a rope and then impale my guy in the knee with this. That way, he doesn't die but he definitely won't be able to play tomorrow."
"All right…" said Choutarou. "What should I do?"
"I don't know." Said Shishido, leaning over and looking at the info on Choutarou's person. "Your guy is the goalie… how about…I've got it! You could just walk right up to him and break his hand."
"Just like that?" said Choutarou.
"Sure." Said Shishido. "And then grab me and we'll fly away."
"Okay." Said Choutarou. "No one will know it was us!"
"Of course not!" said Shishido. "Ready?"
"Ready!" said Choutarou.
Meanwhile, Momo, Taka and Ryoma were all working together.
At first, they were trying to seek out their people, but then a teacher demanded to know why they weren't in class. They tried to think up excuses, but it was hard to think of anything because the three of them were together so of course they wouldn't be going to the bathroom. So it finally got out that they didn't actually attend the school so the teacher kicked them out.
Now they were outside the school on their asses.
They saw Eiji across the street playing on the playground so they shrugged and went over there to join him.
Again with the meanwhiles…Atobe and Oshitari were in the cafeteria looking around for their people they were supposed to attack or kill.
Some random kid walked up to them.
"Why are you guys gray?" he said.
"How dare you." Said Oshitari.
"What?" said the kid.
"You are RACIST." Said Oshitari.
"…Huh?" said the kid.
"Obviously we are from a foreign country and EVERYONE there is gray." Said Atobe. "How dare you. I am going to report you and have you thrown off the… do you play a sport?"
"Soccer." Said the kid nervously.
"Thrown off the SOCCER TEAM." Said Atobe with a nod, looking satisfied.
"Come on, we'll take this to the important people who can make these decisions." Said Oshitari as he stood up and grabbed the boy by the ear, dragging him off.
As soon as they took him around the corner, they roughed him up a little bit. More than they should have, but at least they didn't break any necks, right?
MEANWHILE Kirihara was all by himself. Still. Because no one likes him.
He was in the basement of the school with a large stick of dynamite he had discovered on his person.
He set it up and clocked it to explode in exactly ten minutes.
He exited the school and walked to the soccer field where he found Inui sitting, already taking notes on only the lord knows what.
"Has anyone gotten back yet?" Kirihara asked.
"Well, Eiji, Taka, Momo and Ryoma have been playing on the playground this entire time." Inui said. "Shishido and Ootori joined them a little while ago because they completed their tasks. Fuji and Oishi returned about five minutes ago and joined them."
"So everyone except for Oshitari and Atobe?" Kirihara said.
"Pretty much." Said Inui.
"IT'S GONNA BLOW!" came voices behind them.
They turned around to see Oshitari and Atobe running away from the building as fast as they could and then diving just as it exploded into a mushroom cloud.
Inui's mouth hung open as he witnessed what had just occurred.
"Oh wow." Said Atobe, standing up and brushing himself off. "If we hadn't both simultaneously heard that ticking at the very last second, we would have likely been caught in that explosion as well."
"What did you two do?" Inui demanded, pointing at the damage.
"Actually I did it." Said Kirihara.
"WHY?" said Inui.
"Because this was easier than seeking out a single person!" said Kirihara defensively.
At that exact moment, everyone who had been on the playground came running over.
"What's going on?" demanded Eiji of Atobe and Oshitari. "You two blew up the whole building!"
"It was Kirihara." Oshitari said. "Though I do envy him for thinking up the idea before me."
"I think we should probably get out of here." Momo suggested.
"Yes…probably…" said Inui.
With that, the entire group took off running.