Chapter 36: Nothing Else I'd Rather Do
Leah didn't even pretend she was going to stay in the guest room tonight. She actually led the way to my bedroom. Once secluded in the room she sat on my bed and toyed with her fingers. She was uncomfortable, and I couldn't figure out why. I decided to pull out something that I knew would make her smile. "Surprise," I whispered as I kneeled down and made the stuffed animal dance in the air. She looked up at it and laughed.
"Edward Cullen, you're a mess you know that don't you?" She sighed as she took the toy in her hands. She studied the gift, and sadness hit her eyes.
"What's wrong my love? You don't like the gift, it didn't offend you did it?" She shook her head and then held the bridge of her nose.
"No Eddie, it's nothing, I'm just stupid." She stood and walked pass me. She stared out my window with her back turned to me. All the thoughts in kept circling around marriage. In her mind's eye she wore a white dress and she stood with me with her hands in mine. "I love you Eddie." I didn't say anything because the statement seemed unfinished.
"I love you Leah," I replied, and she glanced over her shoulder. I could tell she was smiling, even though she seemed happy with my response I could tell she was still uneasy.
"This is going to sound silly but I think … I love you more than you love me. There's nothing wrong with that, I've never felt so connected to anyone." I got up and wrapped my arms around her from behind. I rocked her gently.
"I feel the same way. Every day we spend together only makes my love for you grow stronger," I whispered as I nestled my chin in the nook of her shoulder. She sighed and leaned into me. I kissed the back of her neck, then I moved her hair to one side so that I could pepper kisses along the side of her neck. She pulled away from me slowly and then huffed frustrated. "Leah, I know you're feeling conflicted. You know I want to call you my wife more than anything." She silenced me by putting her hand over my mouth.
"You don't have to Eddie," she whispered. "I don't want you to feel forced. Lately my emotions have been all over the place, you telling me you love me is enough for now." She smiled faintly and led me to the bed, holding my hand in hers. We both relaxed on the bed, she shifted and laid her head on my chest, I held her in my arms and analyzed all of the thoughts that had floated between us today. My memories of our dance replayed in my mind over and over. It amazed me that such a simple physical connection is what lingered in my mind and made our relationship special. I ran my fingers down Leah's back and allowed my hand to still at the small of her back. Moments like these were precious and just like her I wanted them to last forever. Why should we wait for our forever to begin?
"Maybe, it's not enough for me. I want you to be my wife, now." She looked up at me and snickered. "What?"
"Nothing, I just expected your proposal to be a little more … romantic." She giggled.
"So you were expecting over the top," I teased as I hopped off the bed and kneeled in front of her. "Fine, Leah Clearwater, you are …." I looked into her eyes and got lost in them.
"Go on." She smiled and sat up on the bed in front of me.
"You're amazing and even though I'm not worthy of your love I'm so lucky to have it. I love you more than my own existence and I want to spend each and every day proving my love. Will you be my wife?" She laughed and her cheeks flushed.
"Yeah, that was more like what I was expecting …but I still feel kind of bad." Bella's situation worried Leah. She still felt it would be wrong for us to start our lives together while Bella was trying to put her life back together.
"I don't know if she's even trying." Leah frowned and looked up at me. "She has to want to let go of her delusions. I know that when I went to see her, her tears seemed sincere, but Bella's an even better liar than I could ever give her credit for." I was disappointed I had to speak ill of her this way, but all the negative actions she took toward Leah had proved that she was never the girl I thought she was.
"Love can make a person behave strangely … it can make them bitter and it can drive them insane, but at the end of the day I feel that Bella is a good person." I nodded and took in everything my Leah had said, it was then that I'd noticed that I was still kneeling in front of her waiting for an answer. I took her hand in mine and kissed it.
"I know the situation isn't ideal, but I'm not sure that there ever will be a perfect time. I'm not sure that Bella will ever get better, but I am sure that I madly in love with you and I always will be. You're already my better half we might as well make it official." I was getting nervous because she hadn't answered. Sometimes I forget that just because a person may want something, doesn't mean that they'll give into that desire. Just because Leah's mind told me she'd say yes, didn't mean she would. If she refused me, even if she did it with all the kindness she could muster, it wouldn't be enough to undo the pain she'd cause. "Please answer me Leah, will you marry me?" She looked up from our intertwined fingers and seemed slightly alarmed.
"Oh Eddie, I'm sorry! I thought I'd answered you," she giggled. "Yes, of course I'll marry you!" She slipped her hand out of mine and now cradled my face in her hands. She placed a gentle kiss against my lips. "There's nothing else I'd rather do."
Author's Note: Hey everyone! I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've posted. My dad's been in the hospital between that and working my time has been very limited. It's been so long, I had to go back and read a couple of chapters over again to get a feel for the story. Also, I since it'd been so long and I couldn't guarantee when this would be out, I lost my beta (insert tears). I hope you all will continue to bear with me and all my imperfections. As always please read and review … no flames!