TBITC Chp. 35

Jack's chest hurt, and he bit back a scream of pain when Ken laid him on the cold concrete. He closed his eyes, but opened them again when he felt a hand on his chest. "Ho..how…bad?" he croaked, forcing his eyes to stay open, when he saw Megan kneeling next to him. He coughed, spitting up blood and turning his goatee a deeper red.

"Shh, don't talk. Help me get him up." She said. Horatio helped him sit up, and remove his shirt, tactical and bulletproof vests. She scowled, and Jack looked at her. "Wha…what?"

"Told you not to talk, now hush." Meghan said forcefully, yet Jack detected a gentleness in her tone. Glancing around, he noticed that Mike, Ken, Eric and Calleigh had formed a perimeter around the group. Jack bit back a scream when he felt Meghan press down on his lower abdomen. Sweat ran down his face as the pain subsided. His eyes closed and he forced them open again. "That's it, stay with me, son. Stay with me." Horatio said, propping Jack up. His tone was gentle, and Jack's mind flashed back to when he was a child and had nightmares for a year after his mother died.

"Jack…Jack…Jack!"

Jack could hear Meghan calling his name, but her voice sounded like it was a mile away, and everything slowly faded to black.

000

"…blood pressure dropping…pulse is weak…"

Jack felt himself being moved and his mind registered that he was on a stretcher. His eyes fluttered and he saw Meagan kneeling next to him. She saw him looking at her, and forced her mouth muscles upward. Taking his hand in hers, she said, "Squeeze my hand, Jack. Can you do that? Squeeze my hand."

He squeezed her hand, but just barely. He was exhausted…his mind screamed at him to just give up. He saw Jenny and Matt smiling down at him. A machine started humming, but darkness enveloped him once again.

"He's crashing! We're losing him!"

000

Horatio had watched the paramedics load Jack into an ambulance, and sent up a silent prayer that his son would survive. But it was more than that. Jack had to survive, not only for himself, but for Alexx and Sam, as well. Miraculously, Frank and Ryan had escaped the truck just before it exploded, and the worst injury between the two of them was Frank's concussion. The group was now in the ER waiting room of the hospital Jack had been taken to. Ironically, it was the same hospital that Sam had been taken to a few days earlier.

"Uncle H?" Horatio turned and looked down at Madison.

"What, sweetie?" He asked, gently.

"Jack's gonna be ok, right?" she asked, and Horatio could see tears in her eyes. He hugged her and sighed. The senior CSI had never lied to his niece, and he wasn't about to start now. "I don't know, honey. I hope so."

She nodded solemnly, seeming satisfied with the answer. Horatio turned and watched Alexx and Sam out of the corner of his eye. Sam seemed even more withdrawn than when they had found him, if that was possible. Alexx stood suddenly and went to the restroom. Mike followed her, catching her just before she went in.

"I need to clear it first, doc. SOP." He said. A week earlier, she would've found it odd, but now…

Alexx nodded, and Mike moved past her, his M-4 at the ready. Both he and Kenny left the heavy artillery in the vehicles, but kept their carbines, pistols and tactical vests. Fortunately, the room was empty and Mike came back a minute later. "All clear, doc."

"Thanks, Mike." She said. He nodded and took up station just outside the door. Neither he nor Kenny was going to let anything happen to Alexx or Sam, no matter what. They owed Jack that much.

000

Alexx was changing Sam, taking her time to be extra gentle and give him the love he needed. She prayed that Jack would be alright, and not just for his sake, but for Sam's as well. She'd been worried about Sam before, now she was practically crawling out of her skin. Sam had been distraught before, as she expected, given what he'd through. But now he was practically catatonic. As she was finishing, Sam started crying. She picked him up and was surprised when he wanted to be put down. She complied, but at the same time she was hurt. Sam went to the furthest corner of the room and curled into a ball, sobbing. And she couldn't take it anymore.

She went to him, but he turned away from her. "Baby, what's wrong? Tell mama…" she cooed, running her fingers through his hair. Alexx thought she knew what was causing Sam's pain, but she couldn't be sure. Sam said something, but he was so distraught she couldn't understand him.

"What, baby? Calm down and tell mama what's wrong." Alexx said gently. She was fighting her own emotional battle, but she set her own pain aside for the sake of the child she saw as her own. Sam turned to face her and this time, he reached out to her. She took him in her arms, rocking him and cooing in an effort to comfort him. They sat on the cold tile floor for a long time. When Sam had calmed some, Alexx tried again. "What's wrong, baby? Tell mama what hurts."

"Daddy's gonna…he's…gonna die…cause' a me, and…and you're not…not" Sam managed to get out, and this confession elicited a fresh round of tears. Everything clicked for Alexx in that second. Sam believed that Jack's shooting was his fault and that if Jack died, she wouldn't want him anymore.

"Oh, baby." Alexx said, her voice thick with emotion as she finally let her own tears fall. She waited until she could speak without crying herself, then she said. "Look at me, sweetie." She waited until Sam turned to face her. "I want you to listen to me. I love you. Your daddy loves you. When the bad people took you away, we were so, so sad. I cried, and so did your daddy 'cause we didn't keep you safe. Your daddy thought it was his fault that the bad people took you away, and I was mad at him, too."

Sam had calmed down and was listening to her. "You're not mad at him now?"

Alexx smiled and shook her head. "No, honey. You know what, I think I saw a vending machine in the waiting room. How about some candy, does that sound good?" Alexx asked, thinking that Sam needed some pampering after having thought that this was all his fault.

Sam brightened at the mention of sweets. "Ok, mama."

Alexx picked him up and silently prayed that Jack would be ok, for all their sakes.

000

When Jack opened his eyes, he expected to see off white ceiling tiles, and instead saw blue sky. That was his first clue that something was…he didn't know what. But it was different. He felt grass underneath him and sat up. "Daddy!"

Jack whirled around in surprise and saw his dead wife and child walking toward him. or rather, she was walking and the boy was running as fast as his little three year old legs could carry him. Jack barely had time sit before his son launch himself into his father's arms, and hugged the man with all the strength a three year old could muster.

"Hi, daddy! I misted you!" Matt said, hugging him.

"Hey, buddy." Jack said, his voice thick with emotion. Jack let go of his son and stood to greet his wife. They hugged and kissed each other hard. "I missed you." Jack whispered.

"I missed you, too. But they need you more." Said Jennifer

"Who?" Jack asked, truly confused.

"Sam…and Alexx." Jennifer said. "Look." She said, pointing down.

Jack looked down and saw himself lying on a hospital bed, surrounded by doctors and nurses. "What happened, other than me getting shot?" he asked.

"You've been clinically dead for ten minutes. The only reason they aren't calling it is because Meagan won't let them. But there's something else you need to see."

He felt the ground sinking away from him, and looked down. This time he saw Alexx and Sam in what looked like a bathroom. They were sitting on the floor, and it looked like Sam was crying. Jack felt his heart being squeezed at having yet again caused this child that he loved like his own to feel pain. "What happened, do they…" he started to ask, but Jennifer held up a hand, silencing him.

"Listen." She whispered.

"Daddy's gonna…he's…gonna die…cause' a me, and…and you're not…not"

The color drained from Jack's face. "Sam thinks this is his fault?" He asked, anger and incredulity in his voice.

"And he thinks Alexx won't want him anymore if you die."

Jack was silent for a longtime, before he said. "I love you." They hugged, and kissed again. Then Jack knelt down in front of his son. "Come 'ere, bud."

Matt came to him and hugged him as hard as he could. When he pulled away, Matt looked at his father and said, "I misted you, bu' Sam needs you mor dan I do."

Jack grinned. "How'd you get to be so smart?"

"I had good genes." Matt said, laughing.

"I love you, kid." Jack said, hugging him again. Then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, everything faded to black.

000

"Meagan, you have to call it." Dr. Mark Sherman said, his tone sympathetic.

A second later, Sherman felt cold metal against his forehead, and heard the click of a hammer being cocked. "I'm taking something from his playbook," Meagan said, nodding to Jack's lifeless form. "You call it." she snapped.

Suddenly the heart monitors steady hum was broken by a steady beeping. "Well, look at that," Meagan said in a snide tone, a small smile on her face. "I guess he didn't want to leave just yet."

000