LIFE

I do not own Twilight or its characters

JPOV

I quickly changed into the clothes that Alice had provided me with. It wasn't something I would have picked for myself but something told me that this would be a constant thing now in my life. Her closet, the multiple outfits she had for everyone, the way she presented herself all screamed that she enjoyed being a fashion statement.

I found it intriguing and wondered if it was a habit she enjoyed or an obsession. I would hold judgment for the time being. I continued to wonder as I found my way downstairs. I noticed that everyone had gathered in the living room.

Edward and Bella were both staring at me. Bella had a tiny grin plastered on her marble face. Edward had a look of death. I could feel the lust filtering off him.

Sorry. I'll try to hold it down.

I turned and watched as Alice walked down the stairs I couldn't help but stare. Her outfit mirrored those of Tanya and Bella but it fit her so much more sexually. If it wasn't for the room of witnesses I would have torn the outfit off her that very moment. For my troubles, I could see the glance from Edward.

I continued to keep my eyes trained on her. I couldn't stop it. She was remarkable and mesmerizing at the same time. The way her hair swayed like a field of grain on a windy day, the way her hips moved, the scent that penetrated my senses. Everything about her screamed for me to race across the room and show the world she was mine.

I held my emotions tightly bound. I needed to wait until I was in the car. I didn't want her to misunderstand anything. She needed to fully understand my ability and I knew that meant later Edward would too. But if she and I were going to have a true commitment to each other, honestly, full truthful honest, was required.

Edward looked at me again. I never once took my eyes off my angel but I nodded and acknowledged his understanding off my thoughts. I was becoming accustomed to the idea of him inside my head as long as he understood there were times that privacy would be required.

Alice looked at me. Her eyes were a beautiful golden sunset color with a glossy shine to them. That glossy look always seemed to be there whenever she looked at me. I wondered if I had the same look towards her.

I had never believed in love at first sight. Lust maybe but not love. I knew the difference between both and I knew I had never been in love as deeply as I was now. I had never fallen so fast that the world could end and I would leave this existence complete and happy.

Alice gracefully floated towards me and looked into my eyes. "Are you ready to leave?"

"Completely. I would say it's time to get the party started. Demetri and I have some things to discuss. But I think you're about to learn a few things about me that you would rather not know. Remember, that was the old me. You've changed me and I can never, no, won't ever go back to that person."

I hadn't taken my eyes off her. She was too incredible for words to describe. I wanted to take it all in before I had to force my military side back to the surface.

"You know Demetri?" She asked.

"You could say he and I go back a long time. He and I were.....well, you could say we had mutual feelings for the Shifters. And thanks to it, we became sort of friends. Not that you can be friends with someone who is suppose to be an enemy in this war."

I took her hand and snaked my fingers through hers. I noticed that she enjoyed holding my hand and it allowed enough space that I could continue to think with straight and sober thoughts. I waited patiently for her to take a look abound the room one last time. I assumed she was assessing to ensure everything that was part of her master plan was in order. It was strange that she reminded me of back in the day when I first join the army. I was fresh and wet behind the ears. I second guessed my decisions but my plans always worked out. I would have faith that hers would too.

Alice took a deep breath and nonchalantly made her way to the door. She hadn't responded to my comment about Demetri. I wondered if she even cared about the things I had done in my past. I believed the past was the past and hopefully, she did too.

"Uhm, Jasper? Just in case you were wondering…Demetri and I are not friends. We are far from friends actually. He used to hit on myself and Bella a lot…I kind of kept Edward from killing him one night which is why he owes me a favor…so he might be a little tense to see me on his door step. Just to let you know."

I saw the look on her face. There was a hint of a smile. I wasn't sure what to make of it. I looked at Edward and saw a look of death cross his face and then immediately felt the anger being thrown across my path. Something told me that "hitting" on Alice and Bella was a nice way of putting it.

I heard Edward clear his throat. I looked over and saw a look I or any other man would recognize. Demetri and I had a few things to discuss. My emotions got away from me. The anger, rage and irritation went out like a mushroom cloud. As much as I tried to focus I couldn't control it, I looked around the room and knew everyone had received a small taste of it.

"Sorry, everyone. I, sometimes, have trouble controlling the extreme emotions." I wasn't explaining it anymore than that to them. This was a private conversation for Alice and Alice only. Well, unfortunately, Edward would know. That was really, really going to be irritating.

"Don't worry. I'll try not to say anything until you say so." Edward answered.

We made our way to the car. I continued to think of the multiple ways I could tear Demetri's extremities from his body and then make him suffer. I was so lost in thought that at first Alice's comment went unnoticed by me.

"I'm sure you already figured it out; but Emmett doesn't know if he can trust you. I don't know the reasons behind it, and I'm sure it has something to do with how unfocused he is because of Rose…"

He doesn't trust me. That was it. He was afraid that whatever was happening to Rosalie was my doing. How could he think after a hundred years that I would be the sole reason for her unstable behavior recently.

"….but he's coming back and I don't want you too worry too much about it."

"Worry? Why would I worry? I can understand where he's coming from. His wife, his reason for being is acting like a wild caged beast. I would be unsure of everyone around me. I knew something was up and now it makes sense. But worry, no. He'll come around and realize who his friends are. I'm just sorry that he has been put in this situation."

"What was with how tense you were in the living room and the secrets conversations with you and Edward, what were those?"

She was direct. It was something I would have to get use to. I was use to fighting to get answers and I always got my answers. I looked over at her. Her skin was milky white, her eyes were golden with specks of black. She would need to feed again soon.

I realize how hungry I was. Animal didn't allow you to go long between feedings; not like a human. I was instantly craving human blood like it was the only curable drug I knew. I had to fight the urges. I couldn't allow myself to disappoint Alice.

"Edward....well, you sort of.....I don't know. You said about Demetri hitting on you. Edward's emotions hit me fairly strong. They weren't happy feelings either. I kind of figured out how far the "hitting" on you went. I want a few minutes alone with Demetri. No arguments about it either.

There is a second part to this conversation too. I....I don't know where to start with it. I have never tried to explain it to anyone before. And Edward able to read minds tell me that anything I tell you will be his knowledge eventually. That was why he made the comment.

He and I have a mutual understanding. He's going to try to stop from seeing how my abilities work until I am ready to speak to him about them."

The smells in the car were beginning to fog my focus. I wanted to pull myself together before we reached our destination. The smell of her sweet lilac fragrance reminded me of the house Emmett, Rose and I, technically, still occupied. The flowers beside the patio were nothing in comparison to Alice but it brought a thought into my head.

I made a mental note that we would have to stop there. I had a few items I needed to pick up. I turned my attention back to Alice. It had only been one second but to a vampire it was a lifetime.

"How about you start from the beginning? I'm interested to know everything about you…and if there is something I could do to help, well I'd like to know that too."

Alice kept her eyes on the road but I knew enough that from the tone of her voice she wanted to know and that she was genuinely interested.

"Well, my ability is not just reading and controlling others' feelings or emotions. It's more than that. I can focus my emotions onto others. I did it to you when it came out about James. I am truly sorry for that."

"It's okay, Jasper, I'm sure you didn't mean to and that's all that matters."

"That's what happened at the house. Not only can I project my emotions on one person but a whole room full of people. It's worse than that though. I can control my projection when I want to but extreme emotions like anger or hate get away from me unless I focus deeply. That, of course, leaves me unguarded.

It also happens on the opposite end of the spectrum. Love, wants and desire can bring the strongest to their knees. They can't control the need that I am projecting. It's something I've been working on for a long time. I still can't seem to handle it when they're extreme emotions I am feeling."

"So you can make people feel things, as well as feel their emotions and depending upon the strength of that emotion is depending upon how well you can control it and manipulate it?"

"Sort of. I can manipulate feelings that are already present within the person. I can't make them hate someone just because I want them to. I can bring deeply buried emotions to the surface and control the intensity of them. I can also blanket their surface emotions. Like I did at the docks. You were calm and in control. You didn't feel the rage but you knew you should. The emotions were still there just suppressed.

I can anticipate how someone will feel about a subject or situation, from there I can blanket them so the anger or hate will be eased if I think it would help. I would never do that with love or desire. It wouldn't be right to force those emotions down."

I noticed the car slow just a fraction of the incredible speed we had been going. I looked from the window and realized she had done it on purpose. Her emotions and physical movements told me so. She was enjoying her time with me.

I was too except that I wanted to crash the car and take her amongst the wreckage. I wanted her. I really didn't care where. I just wanted to be part of her in every way. I shook my head slightly. I wanted it too be far more memorable for the both of us than just a "romp in the hay". I think that's what the saying it.

"I'm sorry, hanging around myself and my family must be torture…we're not exactly emotionally stable."

"It's difficult but it is worth it if I can be near you. I am connected to you in a way I've never felt before. Anytime I am away from you, I felt lost and disconnected from a reality that till recently never existed for me. I don't like the confusing feelings I have from it. Your family's emotions are much more stable than mine, anyways."

The road suddenly was veering to the driver's side of the car. I could see the trees becoming dangerously close. I leaned forward at the same time as Alice's emotions stabbed me. The excruciating suffering she was feeling was quickly replaced by the blazing rage. I could feel the images emotionally as she had her vision.

I grabbed the wheel and barely spun the car back onto the road. I reached over with my foot and hit the brakes. For such a baby car, the brakes were at least good. It still took nine hundred and forty-two feet for the car to stop.

I turned and pulled Alice into my chest. I hoped that my scent affected her as much as hers did me. I wanted to bring her back as comfortably as was emotionally possible. I felt her come around enough to push on me. She was confused and frightened at first. Her emotions slowly settled and she became focused and more clear on what was happening.

She took a deep breath and spoke softly. "Maybe you should drive."

I continued to hold her. I wasn't about to let her go. I didn't want to break the contact with her. I had heard her words but ignored them. I was focused on what we were doing at this moment. I didn't want it to end.

I gently made small circles on her back. It was soothing for her. I could feel her body relaxing. It was easily lulling me into a safe place. I wanted her there with me. I wasn't thinking about anything except being there with and for her.

"I'm sorry I almost wrecked the car…this would have been two in a few days. The visions…they are so intense sometimes. Especially when they are affecting me directly."

"Are you okay now? I could feel how intense they were......Wait, what do you mean they're affecting you directly? What was it?"

She paused and then pulled away from me. I made sure I remained in constant contact with her. I needed the electric impulses that made physical contact with her such a thrill.

"That's a problem…even Edward has solved this one and he can see the visions as well as I can…to him they look like distant memories in my mind, all I have to do is think of what I can remember. The problem is I can't see who's attacking me in the visions…often I am alone when I can see…and more times than not there is a red or orange lighting…I can remember cement and smelling salt in the air. But that's about it. It's the reason I went and found the file; I knew someone was hunting me."

I thought about every word she said. "Red or orange lightening....that could be anything."

I was talking more to myself, trying to work through the meaning behind each word. "Distant memories.....could it have anything to do with the vampire that changed you? Do you know who he was?"

"No, James killed the man who changed me…supposedly he loved me, I don't know what I felt for him if I even felt anything at all…but he died shortly after he changed me to save me from James. He didn't want James to have my blood."

That answered one of my million questions. James was an asshole that did deserve what happened to him. I just wish it wasn't my angel who did it.

"Cement and smelling salt. Well, cement could describe a lot of places in the world but smelling salt narrows it down a little. A lot of the Hunters use smelling salt on the humans to keep them conscious through the.....through things....I think you understand.

As for the person hunting you, there was only one person that I know of. That was me. So why are you having visions unless they've sent someone else. You said that all of your visions had you alone?"

"It's not smelling salt…its salt in the air…only the wind in my vision carries the salt to me, it's hard to describe. I don't think that you were ever the only one hunting me, the Volturi were upset when I refused their offer to join their guard several hundreds of years ago when Bella was human. And yes, I am alone in them all…I have had visions where the war was over and I could see everyone happy or sad or angry…but I was never with any of you. And this vision there was something restricting my vision causing the red, I assume they had my eyes tied up… every time I am about to have my vision restored the vision cuts out telling me that whoever it is has not yet decided on what to do once I can see them."

"So, that's how your visions work? Determined by what the person decides? What if I decided that I wasn't leaving your side? Could that change this vision or the others you've been having?"

Again she thought about her answer. I was sure she wanted to explain it as thoroughly as she could. She wanted to make sure I had the full facts to create an conclusion from. She was perfect for me. She understood the military man come out in me. She accepted it while it had control.

"Yes and No… all of my visions are subject to the actions of other people. The smallest thing can change everything so completely. You can decide to stay by my side, Jasper, but that doesn't mean that someone won't or hasn't already thought of that and made a plan to take care of it. Some visions are set in stone…they are meant to be and there isn't anything to change them…I just keep telling myself to be prepared to fight alone, because right now that's all I am seeing as an option."

I hated the idea that she and I would be separated at some point. She would be left to defend herself. I didn't like it at all. I felt her sadness. I could see it in her eyes.

I thought army thoughts about her answer. I analyzed every word and how it all fit together. "It's possible that someone has figured out a way to keep me away from you. To get you by yourself. I'll have to think on that. It leaves me with options to come up with a plan. It also narrows the names. It has to be someone who knows how you and I would connect. They've anticipated that you and I would be a couple.

Alice, do you trust me? I mean truly and fully trust me?"

"With my life."

"Seems unique to hear a vampire call it a life. It's always been an existence to me. Anyways, I can feel the emotions coming from you even when we should be in a state of lust and need. That's how it's been for me since I first saw you only more intense. It is a love lust and need and I can't handle you feeling so....I don't know....different. Sad, worried. I want your permission to lighten those feelings. Bring your feelings for me to the surface. Make you completely my angel again. Will you let me?"

"Yes, but I need to know something first. I don't want to feel warm and secure if you are going to leave me…even if it's for a short amount of time. I need to know if you'll be here?"

I was shocked. She truly thought there was a change that I would, that I could, leave her. She was my angel. She was my everything. She was what my existence, no, as she said, my life revolved around now.

"How about this? I'm not going to bring your emotions and feelings to the surface. I'm going to show you how I can project my feelings. I'm going to show you how much you mean to me. What you do to me. Just relax. Clear your mind. Don't think about me or your feelings for me. I don't want you to confuse your feelings for mine."

I removed my hand and broke the contact. I immediately felt the loss and could see from her expression that she didn't like it either. I raised an eyebrow, silently letting her know that is was important to break the bond in order for this to work.

I waited and focused. I thought only of her. I started with how I felt when I looked at her. Her face was angelic, soft and perfect. Her body was something to be worshiped, explored and world of endless virtue. Her eyes was like a golden sunset as it dipped into a crystal smooth lake. She was the perfection of a Greek goddess.

I waited for her to absorb the feelings that just looking at her did to me. Then I continued.

I focused on her scent in my lungs, her touch against my skin, her sweet voice in my ear. It was like laying in a meadow on a moonless night, looking up at the millions of sparkling stars as they shone down. The perfection of it. That was how I saw her. Perfection.

Every thought of her, every movement of her, everything about her was everything I could have ever wished for and was granted.

I could feel her feelings beginning to mimic my own and then they overpowered them. She opened her eyes and looked into mine. I had taken her too far under again. She was so susceptible to my emotions. I could easily have complete control over her but I would never abuse her in such a horrible way. I loved her too much to allow that.

She leaned in and I closed myself off. I needed to back away emotionally from her but it had to be gently. Her hands closed around my shirt and pull me in. I didn't fight her but I took her up another level to the surface. She put one hand up against my neck. The skin on skin contact was nearly my undoing but I wouldn't allow myself to take advantage of her drunken state.

Her finger trailed the back of my ear and then grabbed my hair. She gasped and her scent surrounded my face. I held my breath. I couldn't lose control. I loved her too much. I had to keep repeating the truth. I respect and loved her too much to allow myself to take advantage of her.

I brought her so close to the surface that she suddenly pulled back. I could see that her thoughts were clearing. She was coming back to the present. I smiled at her. She had recovered this time like she had been doing this for years.

"I think I should drive, angel. I don't trust drunk drivers." I chuckled.