I took my seat, and hoped with everything in me that he wouldn't turn up and that he too was pained by what had happened, or that hopefully Harvey had spoken to him and advised him against it. I got my book out of my bag and turned to the fresh sheet, putting the date in the top margin- tapping my pencil nervously against the desk. My heart was like a train in my chest, and I was trying to remind myself it wasn't going to burst out my ribcage and dance around me, something I very much thought it might do. My phone buzzed in bag, and in my hurry to grab it I managed to make my bag fall to the floor and scatter some of my possession, I picked them up feeling my cheeks flame and checked my phone, noticing a message from Cath:

*Got an early finish! Denise and Charlie coming around tonight! You in? *

I let out a mass sigh of relief, I didn't have to make an excuse for me not going out, I smiled and wrote back yes; not yet telling her about the eye, hoping she'd just put it down to my general clumsiness. With a lightened mood, I looked back to the front of the class, waiting for the lecture to start- Irenaeus was and could only be taught in lecture form. I found myself doodling in the corner of my page, watching out the window the soft breeze playing at the pale grass and the little heads of daisies pushing through- so dazed in my thoughts I didn't hear the door open, nor did I hear him take his seat; I was only alerted to his arrival by his voice coming from right beside me, making me jump back.

'Kate.' His words took me back those few hours, before all the shit; when we were laughing and happy and I was still in a brilliant mood and happy to show off my mac. I ignored him, kept facing the window even though I could feel sweat beading on my neck and a weirdly cold sensation making its way in my throat.

'Kate please.' He sounded different, his voice not as husky and rough but more soft and apprehensive- the way he'd been with me when we were alone. Something in me broke and I turned slightly, his eyes never left mine at first I was unsure as to why but fact was he was staring at my eye; staring at the colour of it.

'What Arthur?' I said, sounding a lot calmer than I was inside.

'Your right.'

'Come again?'

'What you said to me, I am that but I don't want to be…'

'Find a therapist, or someone who actually gives a shit.'

'Kate don't.'

'No, you don't.' I hissed. 'You don't get to erase this, at least not with me.'

'I wasn't…'

'And if you don't get it, we're through.' I interrupted, turning to look at the front of the classroom, feeling awful with myself.

'Please don't…'

'I bet that's what mummy says to daddy!' I hissed at him, turning to look at him full in the face. His reaction to my words was as if I had physically struck him. He eyed me with a cold apprehension.

'Don't go there.' He said softly, a definite threat in his words. I kept staring at him, hoping to replicate the cold look I'd seen him give, then after a few too many uncomfortable seconds passed; I swallowed hard and spoke.

'You forget one thing, I'm not yours to dictate.' I let that settle in the air between us, the word dictate had an obvious effect.

'What about business?' He asked in a totally different voice. I turned my head to the front of the room and shrugged my shoulders, feeling bile rise in my throat; I swallowed quickly, even though I felt like throwing up as I saw him lean forward so his breath tickled the hair on my arms. 'That's it? A shrug of the shoulders.'

'You work it Arthur, you present it because I'm telling you stay the fuck away from me; don't talk to me because you want to know the truth…'

'What's that?'

I didn't answer, afraid of what my words may result in. I sat in silence watching the teacher and taking a pitiful amount of notes as my heart wasn't in it, in fact my heart was breaking into a million little pieces. The class went by so slow, I could find it in me to listen fully and so by the time bell called the end of class my mind was in over drive.

'What's the truth?' He asked as he stood, and looked at me through his eyelashes, I shook my head and turned pointedly to the window; I almost screamed as he touched my shoulder. I spun around quickly, feeling the colour leach from my face.

'Don't. Touch. Me.' I said through my teeth and then taking the final piece of my courage I look at him and through my own lashes I stared up at him. 'The truth, you really want to know?'

'Yes.' He said so softly, it was almost inaudible.

'You scare me.' I said almost as soft as he spoke. His reaction was instantaneous, it was like I'd shocked him- he looked pained and he opened mouth multiple times but the words most of obviously died on his tongue. I stepped around him and linked my arm through Sam's, and walked out my head help high even though I heard lots of murmurs about me, float over and around me like water I was plodding through. I kept such a tight grip on Sam and my car had never been such a safe haven when I final sat in the driver's seat and breathed a sigh of relief knowing I could leave the crazy for a couple of days. Sam seemed weirdly obtuse as he questioned me on the way home, asking what was going on between me and Arthur and didn't let the question drop even though he could see my obvious unease. Dropping him off for the first time was a relief and as I drove home, I was stricken as to how I would act in front of Cath because after everything a small part of me wanted to cry in her arms and tell her everything but something inside of me was telling me that was a very bad idea. So instead, I took the powder compact from my back as I pulled into the drive and looked into the mirror for the first time since the toilets, it was worse. What had been red was now turning that colour which meant bruising, and substantial bruising at that; and even the powder did make much hedge way in covering the worst. Under my eye was swollen but I was lucky that my cheek hadn't too and instead just looked like a ginormous bruise. I walked into the house and heard the radio on in the kitchen, and Cath singing along to a song I vaguely recalled as being from Abba. Thinking it best to just be upfront with her, I wandered into the kitchen saying a bright hello as I sat at the kitchen table.

'Alright pet? Cuppa?'

'Yeah great.' I said as she poured me a cup, it was only as she turned to put them on the table she squeaked in alarm, putting the cups rather harshly on the table top.

'What have you done?' She said, her voice all high and weird.

'Walked into a door.' I sighed, picking up my tea and trying to act nonchalant.

'A door?' She exclaimed in disbelief.

'Those big security ones.' I sighed again.

'Deary me. that looks sore.'

'It really isn't.' And that wasn't lie, my heart was hurting much more than my eye and face.

'Bloody hell, you gonna have to watch what you doing.'

'I know, it hurt like crazy!' I say laughing somewhat sadly. She laughed at that and sat down, still looking weirdly at it but not in an accusatory way but in a caring one.

Charlie like Cath couldn't stop looking at my eye, but the look he gave didn't seem purely caring, and as much as I was flattered I didn't think it was a good thing that the look in his eyes looked similar to that Arthur had given me and the fact he seemed to find it attractive my face in black and blue didn't bode well with me and when they left I gave an audible sigh of relief.

'Aunt Cath?' I said softly, as I picked up the pizza boxes from the floor and followed her into the kitchen.

'Yes hinny?'

'You off tomorrow?'

'Yes, why I thought you had plans?'

'Change of plan, I was just wondering if you wanted to do something…but if you've made plans its fine.'

'No, no I'm free, what were you thinking? Because I really fancy some retail therapy.'

'You read my mind!' I laughed, hugging my aunt pizza boxes and all.

My phone stayed in my bedside table draw all weekend, I'd put it in on Friday night when I'd went to change before Denise and Charlie had come and for the entire weekend I kept it locked away. I used the IPad to Facetime Dad and Mel, who looked blissfully happy and were in stitches at the fact I'd bruised myself with a door. Saturday was bliss, Aunt Cath was the perfect therapy and being with her was like finally being able to close my eyes to all the outside noise. I snagged the bill in the restaurant we ate in before she had a choice, and despite her disapproval it felt good doing something for her, after all she had become my aunt, my mother and a best friend. Shopping with her was easy, and just laughing together helped to erase the heartache I was feeling; because I was somewhat heart broken by the whole turn of events; his actions were so out of line but upon looking back I couldn't begin to forgive myself for the cruel things I'd said and how I'd taunted him more than once about his Mother and Father's relationship. The bruising on my had darkened and by the time Monday rolled around it wasn't just dark it was a mix of purple and blue and still painfully red round the edges. I tried a whole array of make-up trying to cover it; even the new younique make-up I bought on the Saturday did nothing to cover the darkness and in fact only covered the red and made it look a million times once. Wincing as I put a coat of mascara on, I lay off the eye palettes and just applied my brows and contour. I kept my hair down, curling it into lots of small curls that made my already long and thick hair even bigger and with hope I thought that maybe that might keep people's eyes off my eye. I dressed in my typical jeans and teamed it with an over the shoulder top I'd picked up in Topshop, my mood drew me to my Airmax and with a quick look on the mirror I picked up my Opening Ceremony hooded jacket and left the house, taking my phone out of the draw and turning it on, for the first time in three days. I put it in my pocket as I went about the house, Cath already at work.

Picking up Sam was an experience as he whistled at my eye appreciatively.

'Nice.'

'I know, nothing will cover it!'

'My treat this morning, you need it.' He laughed and I laughed too even though my stomach was home to a million butterflies.

I pulled into the school parking lot, and took a rather deep breath feeling sick to the pit of my stomach.

'Ready?' Sam said smiling at me.

'Here goes nothing.'

I stepped out the car and snatched my bag from the back seat, throwing it over my shoulder and snatching out the oversized sunglasses I's wedged in.

'Good idea.' Sam said as he linked his arm through mine and we walked into school. I kept the glasses on, all the way to the common room so that even though I got some weird looks, the worst of the bruising was covered. It was as I sat down with my friends I removed the glasses, and folded them into my lap as I heard a series of gasps, and felt every pair of eyes on me.

'Woah.' Martin said, staring at me.

'Seriously you and door!' Dan laughed loudly, which set us all off and by the time the giggles subsided I felt a million times better and one of April's hugs made the day shine a little brighter too. We spoke about everything but the elephant in the room, who never showed in home room.

I kind of wanted him to show up, wanted him to see me when I was around my friends- the ridiculous part of me wanted to apologise for what I'd said. That was what I really wanted to do, because his face had said it all. His biggest fear was turning into his father and I'd told him that his biggest fear was becoming a reality. With a feeling like no other inside of me, I walked down to business and walked into the already full class. The boys and Arthur were in their seats but they all stopped as I stepped into the room. I could feel their eyes digging into me from all angles, all focused on my face. I walked to my seat not looking at any of them, I could feel tears building in my eyes and the pressure hurt the bruises on my face.

'Prepare the presentation.' Mr Phelps said sticking his head around the corner seconds after I took my seat. 'Tomorrow I will be back, stupid gradings.' He said with a smile and shut the door. The air in the room was heavy and the tension could have been cut with a knife. The hate I felt for Mr Phelps was huge, because for the hour I was stuck in the room. Pulling my phone from my bag, I flicked through my social media but nothing grabbed my attention so putting that aside I turned on my computer; the classroom deadly quiet, so much so every key I pressed sounded as loud as the school bell.

'This is your copy.' His voice came up from his seat and a poly-pocket came sliding up the floor. I picked it up curious and noticed the title on the front, my eyes widened in surprise that he'd done the task. I flicked through the PowerPoint, my surprise growing with each page I flipped; he'd actually done it. More than anything that made me pause for thought, I was beyond surprised that he had done the task, I hasn't thought he would have but in everything it had been the last thing on my mind.

'I'll present it, just don't him to think you didn't do anything.'

I didn't answer and just busied myself with rummaging in my bag for my memory stick, he didn't press but the consideration made me feel like I'd not been totally blind when I thought I'd saw something better in him.

That day I also went and saw Mr Knowles and gave him the news that I wasn't going to be playing Gabriella, after everything the fun was gone; I went after lunch a little late for religion but I thought it better that way then I had the entire night to work out how I was going to explain it to the girls. The week went by and apart from them being angry about the play, it flowed. Arthur and I didn't talk nor did me and any of the boys really. Arthur gave the presentation in business as I faked a sore throat and after that I worked with my headphones in, keeping to the work in front of me. Harvey too said no about the performance and so I watch posters for sign ups go up on wall but I didn't feel sad just empty because in a way I was really alone. That week went to the next and Easter break was everything I needed and more, the whole two weeks I revised and come the first Monday back I was ready for serious school and ready for everything that was to come…at least I thought. My black eye was gone, a distant memory that had faded in the first week of the holidays; Les came back for Easter but again went off to work some highly-paid job in Germany. I dressed comfortable, throwing on a V-neck t-shirt and a pair of black jeans with just a bomber jacket became the weather was finally beginning to brighten. I picked up the permission slip Cath had signed for the theme park trip and with a somewhat resigned feeling inside I went to pick up Sam. His whole topic of conversation revolved around this girl from his work, something that surprisingly had me with mixed emotions, something I didn't tell him in fear of giving him the wrong impression- I couldn't explain the whirlwind of emotion myself, let alone explaining it to Sam. So, with that too I went into school, where I handed in my slip with Sam and went up to common room. Talk was loud, like always after a holiday and everyone greeted me with big smiles, which I returned as best as I could. I was somewhat still distant and just empty.

I missed him, badly.

And even though I felt sick about it, I felt like giving up on him was a mistake...