Chapter 38

"Let's rest here a little." Jessica suggested. She sat down on a large rock nearby and looked out at the water. From across the lake she could see their camp site. Lost in thought she hadn't realized they had walked that far. Neither of them had said anything and Jessica appreciated how Jeff even without saying anything was able to support her just by being there. "I think I need to start hitting the gym again. I've lost my stamina."

"It's fine. The lake's larger than you think. It was a good walk." He told her knowing that she was more mentally fatigued than anything else. She continued to stare out at the water. "What are you really thinking of?"

"I want to be right. I do. I want to be normal but he took a lot from me." She said. "I think I could be even able to handle the kidnapping and being held hostage in that sick house but…" her voice started to trail. Jeff squeezed her hand for support.

"I can feel strong. I can feel like I can handle anything. He took me away from you and I found my way back. He shot me but I healed. He raped me and I can't get that back. Maybe I'm not supposed to."

"Maybe the way you do is moving on with your life. Us being together, us having a future, that's how you get it back."

"When two people are together, when they're in love that's how its supposed to happen. He took that from me."

"Then that's how you take it back." He told her.

"So we have sex? You remember how well that went right?"

"No, that's not what I mean. You make yourself willing to love, to being that close or intimate with someone. Jess, there have been people who after they went through what you did they shut themselves off, from the world, from their family and friends but that's not what you did. When we got home you never turned away from me or anyone else. I mean think about it, you saw the look on Shane's face when you told the court that you were going to go home and start your life with me."

"Yea but I was just saying what I thought everyone wanted hear."

"Shane didn't know that and I think deep down that you believed what you were saying. Hell even if you thought that's why you were saying it, it had to come from somewhere. It came from you."

"How do you know I really believe it?"

"You're not that good of an actress." He winked at her and she gave him a small smile. "Plus you're here aren't you and you never once had said anything about not wanting to be here."

"Of course I want to be here." She said.

"Then see? You're already moving on. You're all ready taking back some of what he took from you. I know you second guess yourself and there's going to be set backs but as long as you believe you can do it, you will." He gave her a kiss.

"Kisses help to."

"Oh, absolutely." He said kissing her again. They clasp hands and watched the water just leaning on one another. It wasn't an awkward silence and neither one of them was struggling for anything to say. They were just happy being with one another. It was a feeling Jessica realized they had had a lot. That could be sign of her heeling too, she thought.

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours now?" He asked noticing her grin.

"I was wondering how long it was going to take us to get back, and also what you were making us for dinner."

"Me?" Jeff asked mocking shock. "You're the cook here."

"You're Mister Camping. The only outside cooking I know how to do requires a large state of the art grill. You know the one with the little burners attached? You didn't happen to stow that away in the car somehow did ya?"

"I knew I forgot something." Jeff said laughing.

"Well that means you have to cook dinner for me and it better taste good. Remember you're trying to make me come back here again?"

"Okay you're on. What do you say we head back to camp? I'll race you."

"Let's do it." Jessica said standing up. "On my mark. One… Two…" Jeff didn't wait for three. He ran into the lake.

"Hey wait that's not fair. I'll get my clothes wet!" She called out after him but Jeff had already started swimming. Jessica let out a gasp as she stepped into the cold water. She looked up and realized Jeff had stopped moving and was now laughing as he watched her slowly enter the water. She called out to him. "You know I can swim."

"Then prove it." Jeff turned and slowly started to swim towards their tent."

"Okay, you asked for it." When the water was waste high, she dived in and took off. It wasn't long before she was closing the gap between her and Jeff. When he realized this he picked up his pace but he had already given her too much of a chance. She reached the end of the lake before him.

"I can't believe I was just beat by a girl." He muttered shaking the water from his hair.

"Oh come on. Suck it up and take it like a man." She came over to him and pressed her lips against his. "That's for coming in second. I'm gonna get out of these wet clothes. Feel free to start dinner."

"Can't I change first?" He asked.

"Nope, you look good wet." She flashed him a smile before going into the tent. Jeff added more wood to the fire than started cooking dinner. Jessica took her time doing her best to clean up and make herself presentable before coming back out. "You didn't by any chance pack any bandages did you?"

"No why? Did you get hurt?" He came over to her concerned.

"I'm fine. It's just that I got the last one and the stitches wet during our little swim meet."

"Shit, I'm sorry baby. I forgot." He gently touched her forehead. "Here," He took a napkin and patted it down.

"It's okay." She said stopping him. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Yea, but the doctor said to try not to get them wet. I'm fairly sure that included taking a dip."

"Well, I enjoyed that swim, even if it meant I ruined some clothes, which I think I did."

"I'm sure you'll buy some more." He told her.

"Of course, now what's for dinner?" She peered over to the fire. "Hot dogs? That's my gourmet dinner?"

"These aren't just any hot dogs. These are the finest hot dogs you will ever eat."

"And why is that?"

"Because I made them." Jeff took her hand and pulled her down to sit next to him. He set up her plate with two hot dogs and a big heaping pile of beans before handing it over to her.

"Do you think you gave me enough?"

"Just eat what you can and by that I mean all of it. Your stay in the hospital caused you to lose even more weight. We gotta fatten you up. Besides, if you eat all your dinner I have a surprise for you."

"What kind of surprise?" She asked.

"Eat your food and you'll find out." He handed her some ketchup packets and she started to eat. She ate one of the hot dogs and some of the beans before putting the plate down.

"How about you show me the surprise and then I eat more later?" She leaned closer to him and kissed him seductively on the neck.

"Hey now that's not fair. Are you trying to seduce me?"

"No. I'm just trying to get my way." She kissed him again closer to his earlobe. "Is it working?"

"A little." He laughed. She kept kissing him, her lips roaming till finally he relented. "Okay, okay. Hold on a minute." He got up and went into the tent. Jessica stood up and waited until Jeff came out with the sleeping bag. He laid it down close to the fire but not enough to cause any problems.

"So what is it?" She asked impatiently.

"You'll see. Now lay down." She followed his orders. "Okay, close your eyes."

"Jeff?"

"Humor me, close your eyes." He waited for her to do so. "Now keep them closed and I'll be right back out. Don't open them until I say."

"Okay." Jessica tried to listen as she heard Jeff walk away then waited impatiently for him to return. She heard his footsteps approach. "Can I open them yet?"

"Not yet. Just hold on one more minute." He continued to move around. She felt him sit down next to her. "Okay now open them." Jessica opened her eyes to see Jeff sitting across from her holding a small birthday cake, complete with lit candles. Her face started to beam as he began to sing Happy Birthday to her.

"But I already had a birthday party nd it's not my birthday yet." She said when he had finished.

"It will be in a few hours from now, plus you never got to have any cake. So, happy birthday. Make a wish." He told her. Like a child she closed her eyes and made her wish before blowing out the candles.

"Thank you." She said as he handed her a knife to cut the cake. "How did you sneak a cake out here?"

"It wasn't easy, let me tell ya. I had to put it in the bottom of the cooler and then pray you wouldn't find it. So it's a little cold."

"No it's not. It's perfect." She took a bite. "It's good."

"I'm glad you like it. So what did you wish for?"

"I can't tell you. If I did that it wouldn't come true." She looked at him wistfully. "And I need it too."

"It will." He said realizing what she wanted. He moved himself closer putting his arm around her. "It definitely will."

"Thank you so much, for all of this."

"It's my pleasure but I'm not done yet." He said taking her hand. "I wrote you something."

"You wrote something for me? When did you have time?"

"I always have time for you. It's supposed to be a song but I couldn't fit my guitar in the trunk with everything else."

"Sing it to me anyway." She said. She put down her cake and nested against him as Jeff started. His words, his voice had always been able to sooth her. Even after they had broken up she had held on to every song, every poem he had written for her just so she would feel a part of him was still by her side. She closed her eyes and just listened to the sound of his voice and the words he had written to tell her how much he loved her.

When he finished he looked down at her and saw tears in her eyes.

"Was it that bad?" He asked her.

"No, that was the most beautiful birthday present anyone has ever given me." She told him. "I love you."

"Well then don't cry. You'll make me feel bad."

"I can't help it." She laughed. "It's in my genes."

"Let me make it better." He kissed her tears, wiping them from her face. He slowly lowered her back to the ground as they continued to hold one another. Her hands roamed under his shirt stroking his back both of them wanted more but were afraid to take that step. Jeff didn't want to rush her. It was still too soon and he knew it. So instead he gently pulled away and rolled next to her, still keeping his arm around her. She looked at him. "When you're ready, for now let's just have our night underneath the stars."

She stared up at the sky with him admiring all the dots of light in the air. A cool breeze rushed over them and she snuggled closer to him. He took one end of the sleeping bag and wrapped it around them then pulled her closer.

"It makes us seem so small." Jessica said. "Do you know the names of any them?"

"Well, that bright one over there is probably the North Star and you see those three right there in a row? They're part of Orion's Belt. But the flashing ones, above those now those are known as 747's." Jessica looked at him. "All right, we both know I didn't pay any attention in school."

"You mean when you actually attended."

"Hey no fair."

"That's okay. I never did either but I like this. We can name them ourselves."

"Really."

"Yea." She insisted. "Like that one above the lake we can call it… Flipper."

"Flipper?"

"Well it's above water."

"Fine." He said laughing. "Now I'm gonna name one, two actually. Do you see those two right by the moon?"

"Yea?"

"I'm naming them after us because they're always going to be right next to each other, just like us. So that one's Jeff and the other is Jessica."

"So now we have our own stars." She smiled. They continued naming the stars until Jessica fell asleep in his arms. He looked down at her and could have sworn she was smiling. He took one more look at the stars and made a wish that she would have a peaceful night's sleep free of any thoughts of Shane and what he had done to her. He kissed her one last time before closing his own eyes in what he knew would be a good night's sleep.