Chapter 36

Tony was fully awake, now. He was awake and not particularly happy about it. He wanted to be in the mushy other state where he knew he was hurt but only in a vague way. Now, he was feeling it. His head ached. They'd put in the stitches. He was just waiting to be released. He knew Gibbs wouldn't let him work like this, not when there were so many other people involved already, but he could do something.

"All right, Agent DiNozzo. We'll let you go, but you are to take it easy for the next day or so, all right?"

"Should I just pretend that I agree with you?" Tony asked.

The nurse rolled his eyes.

"At least try, Agent DiNozzo."

"I'll fail, but sure."

The nurse shook his head and let Tony go. He was glad to find that he was getting released even before anyone from NCIS could come and check on him. It had been hours already. He could choose to be upset that they hadn't checked on him, but he knew how big these kinds of investigations could get and it would be hard for anyone to get away. For all he knew, the people who just worked in the building could still be on the Yard, waiting to be released and go home.

As he headed out of the hospital, with his headache and his stitches, he thought about what had obviously occurred. Tim had managed to subdue the man in some way. Considering the man's intent had been to kill, Tim had probably been forced to kill him.

What he didn't know was what had happened afterward. He had been just enough out of it that he couldn't think of all the details. That was a little frustrating. As he walked out of the hospital, he decided to call Gibbs.

The phone rang a few times.

"Gibbs."

"Boss."

"You out?"

"Yep."

"Because they let you or because you left anyway?"

"They let me. Reluctantly. What do you need?"

"Go to Bethesda."

"Um...why?"

"Tim is in the hospital there and I'll feel better if someone other than hospital security is watching him."

Tony's heart sank.

"What happened to him?"

"Nothing. He just needed to get off the Yard."

With more relief than he'd admit, Tony agreed.

"So how long will you keep him there?"

"A few days, probably. The shrink'll help."

"Yeah. What do you want me to do?"

"Be there."

"Right."

Tony didn't have his car, but he could get a taxi and he did.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Kelly was sitting in Paul's living room, staring at the TV. Her parents had never had a TV. Stephen's only acknowledgment of the outside world had been to take a newspaper and at that, it had been more for Marilyn than for him. In fact, Kelly had been amazed the first time she'd gone to a friend's house and watched cartoons. So, as soon as she got back to the house, she'd asked Paul to let her take over his television. She'd tuned into ZNN and it was playing what little had been released over and over again. So far, there had been no naming of the dead and injured. The Yard had been shut down. Journalists were being kept out. They kept saying that there would be a statement made soon, but it had been hours with nothing new.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. Startled she looked up.

"Nothing new, yet?" Marilyn asked.

"Nothing, Mom."

Marilyn and Stephen sat down beside her.

"How long are you going to watch?"

"Until Paul kicks me out. If you guys got TV out there, I'd watch at home."

"You can't just sit here and watch the 24-hour news," Marilyn said. "They're never going to stop talking about it, whether they have anything to say or not."

"I know."

"There's nothing you can do about it."

"I know that, too."

"All right. We'll sit with you for a while."

Kelly hugged her mother.

"Thanks."

Another half hour of repeated information and finally the promised new stuff came. A man came on and was identified as NCIS Director Leon Vance. She'd heard of him but never seen him.

"Today, there was a planned attack on NCIS Headquarters on the Washington Navy Yard. They attacked from inside and outside the building with the intention of killing as many federal employees as possible. This was an attack years in the making, but I am happy to say that they failed. In an orchestrated counterattack, NCIS, in conjunction with the FBI, was able to repel them. Some of the attackers were killed, but there was no loss of life on our side. There were some injuries but no fatalities. There will be more details to come. I will not be answering any questions at this time."

Then, Vance walked away, ignoring all the shouting reporters.

"That's more information than we've been given up to now, Matthias. We have seen some sign of people leaving the Yard, finally, but none of them are talking to reporters. One would only say that she wanted to get home to her family. This has been a major source of chaos for the Metro area. The Red line has been closed. M Street is only now allowing traffic to come through. Whatever the details are, it was clearly a big deal, and you heard it from Director Vance, this was a planned attack."

"Thank you, Tanya. I'm sure you'll keep us updated as more details come in. This is Matthias Terreton with ZNN, keeping you informed on the attempted ambush of NCIS Headquarters."

Kelly sat back with a sigh of relief.

"No one was killed at NCIS."

"That means that all you have to do now is wait, knowing that Tim is still alive," Marilyn said. "For now, let's go home."

Kelly nodded. She stood and looked at Paul who was standing in the doorway with a knowing look on his face. She smiled.

"I'm going home."

He smiled back. "Good. Try to sleep."

"I will."

Then, it was back to the farm. Even if she didn't know everything that was going on, at least, she knew something.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Ducky was sitting in the room that had been assigned to Tim for the time being. It was very quiet. Tim was asleep. Even Naomi was dozing beside him. Tony was also asleep. He'd taken the fold-out chair and was added a soft snore to the ambience of the small room. Ducky felt very awake himself, too awake to sleep whether at home or at NCIS or here. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. A week ago, Tim's whereabouts were still unknown. They had thought he was still a prisoner or dead. A few days ago, Tim had agreed to come back. Just this afternoon, the people who had taken him had tried to implement their plan and, if Tim hadn't remembered what he did, they might have succeeded. People might have died.

Because of Tim, they hadn't. Yes, it had taken some very quick planning to fight back, but they wouldn't have realized the need for it if Tim hadn't been able to force himself to remember. Now, the question was what would happen next. Would Tim begin to remember more? Would he be able to deal with all the other memories that he could have? Would he be able to tolerate being back at NCIS when keeping it safe and secure had led to so much pain?

So many questions and no answers right now.

The questions kept him awake because he knew better than to expect an answer. He just wanted one.

He suspected that, at this late hour, there would be others, perhaps in the waiting room, who would also be wanting to see Tim and know what the future had in store for him.

There were a lot of people who would want to know that, including Tim himself, more than likely.

For a long time, Ducky was the only one awake in the room, but then, he heard a soft sound. Even with Tony's occasional snores, it was a sound that stood out. He looked over at the bed and saw Tim lying there with his eyes open. He was staring at Ducky. He had shifted from asleep to awake so smoothly that only the slight inhalation had clued Ducky in, and he didn't know how long Tim had been awake.

"Timothy, how are you feeling?" Ducky asked, keeping his voice very low.

Tim shrugged. His eyes shifted around to Naomi and then, to Tony.

"He's alright?" Tim whispered.

"Yes. He's fine. He has stitches but it was only a graze, nothing deeper." And again, it was thanks to Tim that it wasn't any worse.

"Good."

The silence fell again. Ducky tried to ascertain what Tim was feeling, but it was almost impossible. Tim was revealing nothing. He'd spoken all of three words.

"Timothy?"

"Gibbs said that they got them."

"Yes."

"But not all of them?"

"Probably not. It's unlikely that we could expect to have them all, but we got many of them, and dealt a heavy psychological blow."

"What do you mean?"

"They failed, fully and completely. Nothing they did succeeded. That's difficult for people who depend on success to take. Those who might be on the fence about it will likely reconsider their allegiance. All in all, we have likely broken this group up. It's difficult to say, but we also now know about them and they'll be people we watch for. A lot of good came out of this."

"At what cost?" Tim asked.

"A very high and painful cost. Only you can decide if the good outweighs the horror."

"I don't know if it did."

"I don't blame you."

Another long silence.

"I remembered Lara. Agent Miller. I got in the car. I looked at her, and I knew who she was. No one told me. I just knew."

Ducky was surprised.

"Really. May I ask how much further it goes?"

"I don't know. I'm not trying to remember."

Ducky didn't have to ask why. Tim's memories had been almost-uniformly horrific. He didn't blame him for wanting to stay away from them, but if he stayed away for too long, he could lose much of his life.

"What if they're not there?" Tim asked. "What if it's only..."

"It's not. Lara has nothing to do with that."

"I can't take it," Tim said. His eyes filled with tears and he took a shaky breath. "I just can't do it, Ducky. It's so... I can't face it all. It's too much. I don't want to remember."

He seemed ashamed by the feeling, but it was so understandable. Tim was still dealing with the trauma of six months of torture that he remembered better than the years of living that had come before it. He had the chaos of returning to a life he'd forgotten, the stress of trying to help people he didn't know, the fear of being taken again. Even the prospect of remembering the good things was simply one more overwhelming experience. Now that the immediate danger was over, he was giving in to the emotional exhaustion, and he deserved to.

"Timothy, right now, you don't need to justify yourself to anyone. All you need to do is help yourself. Whatever will help, do it...although I do hope that you'll let us know what you decide, even if you have your mother tell us. We want what's best, and if that means that you leave here, we will have to support you in that."

"Will you?" Tim asked.

"We'll certainly try. I can't promise success. We do want you back here, but if that isn't something you can manage, it would be unfair to push for it."

Before any more could be said, Naomi woke up and saw that Tim was awake. She hugged him gently.

"Are you feeling any more settled than you were?"

"A little," Tim said.

"Good. They said that they wanted to have you talk to a psychiatrist while you're here. Do you mind?"

"No."

"Okay. For now, Tim, don't worry about us. Just deal with what you can deal with. If anyone gets too pushy, let me know. I'll stop them."

She would, too, Ducky could tell. That was no empty statement. It was the truth. Naomi would protect her family, no matter what it took. Even with all the rest of the pain he had to deal with, Ducky was glad to see that Tim seemed willing to lean on his mother. Incomplete memories or not, he recognized the feeling of safety and love she offered him. Perhaps family could transcend mere memories.

Whatever came next, Ducky figured that Tim would want to be with his family, whether that was permanent or temporary.

Perhaps, after some time, he would remember his work family as well.